by Franca Storm
“I don’t want you for your connections, Jake. I never did.”
“It’s just a bonus that comes with being with me, baby.”
Urgh. Why did it take me this long to realize what a smug bastard he is? He was my first boyfriend, so I guess I was too green to see it.
“I’m not with you. We’re done.”
And I was done with our messed up conversation.
I stubbed out my smoke and moved past him to head back into the club.
His hand gripped mine.
Hard.
He jerked me towards him and, before I knew it, my back was up against the wall and he was pinning me there.
“We are not done. Not by a long shot.”
“Just let it go, Jake,” I said, tiredly, tired of him, tired of everything.
“You know I don’t just give up, Sophie.”
“The moment you laid your hands on me, it was over!” I bellowed, finally snapping. “I never want to fucking see you again! Get that through your screwed up head!”
He shook me hard. “Never speak to me like that. Do you hear me?”
Maybe I was stupid. Foolish. But, I just couldn’t bring myself to placate him. I couldn’t cower like I always had with him when we’d been together. “I’ll speak to you however I like, asshole. Get your hands off me! Now!”
His eyes flashed with ire. His right hand left me and fisted at his side.
I knew then that he was gonna do it again.
He was gonna hit me.
And what could I do? Nothing. He had me pinned against the wall. He was bigger and stronger than me and I didn’t know shit about fighting or any self-defense stuff.
That awful feeling that I’d felt the last time rushed over me: total and utter helplessness.
“Hey, asshole!” a harsh voice rang out suddenly.
I turned to see the bouncer I recognized from when we’d entered the club earlier approaching. He had a smoke in his right hand. He must’ve come out for his break.
“Mind your own business!” Jake snapped.
“I’m making it my business,” the bouncer said, not the least bit deterred.
“Fuck off,” Jake snarled, dismissing him like he was nothing.
Everything happened so fast then.
Jake was suddenly ripped away from me.
He lunged at the bouncer, but the guy clearly knew his stuff and he had him on his knees in a few seconds flat.
Within moments, Jake was hauled away by two other bouncers who had seemingly come out of nowhere. The bouncer must have radioed them earlier somehow, I guessed.
“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked in a gentle voice.
It took me a moment to respond. “Yeah…fine…thanks.”
“Come, let’s get you back inside. You have friends in there?”
I nodded, but stepped back. “I…I need a moment.” I didn’t want Tiff to see me in a state. She couldn’t suspect anything or all hell would break loose back at home.
The bouncer didn’t leave me though. He moved a few feet back to give me space, but I felt his eyes on me the entire time as I had another smoke to calm my nerves.
Chapter 7
~Brad~
I’m gonna rip that fucking doorbell out of the goddamn wall!
It’d been ringing incessantly for the last few minutes, waking me up. Considering I never slept well, I was pissed to be woken up when I had actually managed the impossible. Once again, I’d woken up in the middle of the night sweating and pissing myself from another fucking nightmare. Always the same nightmare. Always involving my dad and that awful day. But I’d managed to go back to sleep for once.
Until the damn doorbell had started.
It was barely 8am on a fucking Sunday. It was one of the few Sundays I actually had off from the bar and I was being woken up by some asshole ringing my doorbell like a crazy person on crack. It better not be Crazy Claire or I swear to God….
I reached the bottom of the stairs and hauled open the door, not caring who the hell it was. I was pissed enough to transcend anything that was waiting for me on the other side of the door.
But all that dissipated in a matter of seconds as I saw who was standing there on my doorstep.
Soph.
She seemed startled. It took me a moment to work out why. I was still a little out of it from having just woken up.
I glanced down at myself to see that I was standing there in nothing but a pair of boxers.
Not only that, but I had a serious case of morning wood. And little Miss Sophie Clinton was blushing like crazy and doing everything in her power to prevent herself from looking where she really wanted to.
“What’s up?” I asked, ignoring the awkwardness and my unintentional innuendo. Jesus Christ.
Her expression turned deadly serious as she said, “I need your help.”
I didn’t even need to think about it. I just reacted, stepping back from the door and ushering her inside.
“Give me a sec,” I said, shutting it behind me and then heading back up the stairs.
I hurried to my bedroom, grabbed my robe off the back of the door and quickly slipped it on.
The last thing either of us needed was me walking around half-naked. Things were bad enough between us when we were both fully clothed. Plus, if she gawked at my dick one more time, I wasn’t sure I would be responsible for my actions. Having her eyes on me, looking at me like that, did things to me.
I headed back downstairs and found her sitting on one of the stools at the breakfast bar in the kitchenette. The house was small, but that was fine by me. I didn’t need much room. It was then that I noticed she was dressed in workout gear. Gray sweatpants. A white tank top with a neon-pink sports bra visible beneath the thin material. Her golden hair was swept up into a ponytail. God. Those things were my weakness. They always conjured up dirty images.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and drew in a breath to calm myself as I approached her.
“Coffee?” I asked, as I rounded the breakfast bar into the kitchen. Good. There was a physical barrier between us in the form of the breakfast bar countertop. I needed to make sure I kept it there.
“Please,” she answered.
As I started to fill the kettle, I asked over my shoulder, “Ollie know you’re here?”
“No. He already headed off to work.”
Neither of us said anything else for several moments.
I handed her a coffee and she took it gratefully. It was drowning in sugar and cream; just the way I knew she liked it. Mine was black; the way I liked it.
I leaned against the other side of the breakfast bar and studied her as we both sipped at our coffees. “So, tell me what’s going on, darlin’.”
She placed her mug down on the counter and eyed me intensely. Oh shit. It was something major. I knew that look.
“First, I need you to promise me that you won’t ask questions.”
“Soph—”
“I’m serious. Please, Brad.”
The urgency in her voice was killing me. She was really freaked out about something. I’d never seen her so on edge.
“All right.”
She flashed me a weak smile. “I need you to teach me how to fight.”
I spat out the mouthful of coffee I hadn’t yet swallowed, choking on it for a good few seconds, before I managed to catch my breath.
Deciding it was for the best for the rest of our conversation, I set my mug down on the counter.
“What?” I finally managed.
“I want you to show me how to defend myself.”
I scrubbed my hand over my face in an effort to reel in my rising anger. I knew what it was about. It was so fucking obvious. It had to be. Him. That asshole ex of hers.
“You had a run in with him when you went into the city the other night?” That’s it. He’s dead. I’m gonna fucking kill him.
“How did you know I was in the city?”
“This town likes to talk, remember?”
Sh
e shifted her weight uncomfortably. “You promised you wouldn’t pry.”
“Soph, if he hurt you—”
“I don’t want to be helpless!” she cried, desperately.
I was so caught off guard by the vehemence in her voice and her sheer desperation that I couldn’t find the words to respond right away.
And then she did the one thing that I’d rarely ever seen her do.
She broke down crying, burying her face in her arm on the countertop.
I couldn’t take it.
She’d always been so full of life, so happy-go-lucky. Seeing her so broken was churning my stomach.
I rounded the counter and wrapped myself around her, stroking her soft golden hair gently as I whispered in her ear, “It’s gonna be okay. I promise, Soph. I promise. I’ve got you. I’ve got you now.”
Chapter 8
~Sophie~
It’d been two weeks since I’d unceremoniously shown up at Brad’s place and broken down like a weak, pathetic mess after asking him to teach me how to defend myself.
Every day since, he’d been teaching me what I’d asked.
He was a good teacher. He was good at giving easy-to-follow instructions. He knew how to work up to complicated moves well and he was unbelievably patient.
Until right now.
“You know this,” he chastised me.
He had me pinned to the floor in his living room and I was thrashing about beneath him like an idiot. I didn’t know where the hell my head was at. Actually, I did, but…I couldn’t risk going there. Denial was much safer.
“Hook my wrist and grab behind my elbow with your other hand. Pull my arm into your chest. Then, use your foot to trap mine, as well as my leg. That’s when you lift your hips and turn hard to regain the dominant position,” he instructed me.
“Okay!” I hissed.
“So, do it. Christ, Soph! You know this. You’ve done it countless times.”
“I know.”
“Yeah? So, what the hell’s the issue now?”
I stopped struggling and collapsed back onto the ground, defeated. “I’m a little distracted, okay?”
“By what?” he fumed, pushing off me and climbing to his feet.
“You.”
“Me?” he asked, not getting it.
“You’re hard. Your…thing was…distracting me.”
He grunted irritably and adjusted his sweatpants. “It’s those fucking shorts.”
“What?” I demanded, getting to my feet, too.
He pointed at my black spandex shorts. “They barely cover your ass and they’re so fucking tight. And that…sports bra…it’s not helping the situation.”
“I get too hot in sweats and a hoodie.”
“Fine. I’ll turn up the air conditioning then.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” I said, stomping over to him.
He glowered down at me. “Am I? My dick sure doesn’t think so.” He grabbed his erection through his pants—actually grabbed it, right in front of me.
I quickly averted my eyes. “You need to work on your self-control.”
He stepped into me then, his body pushing against mine. “For the last two weeks, I’ve had you writhing in my arms, dressed in next to nothing and I haven’t laid a hand on you in a sexual way. And you have the nerve to tell me that I don’t have self-control, woman?”
“I’m not a brunette with huge boobs, so you shouldn’t have a problem at all.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw her. The woman doing the walk of shame from here a few weeks back.”
He seemed surprised that I knew for a few seconds, before quickly brushing it off. He stepped back and turned away. “Let’s take a break. I need some water anyway.”
“I guess that’s the end of that conversation then,” I muttered under my breath, as I followed him into the kitchen area.
He spun around suddenly, catching me off guard. “What conversation? You saw a woman leaving my place. Yeah, I fucked her. And?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “And…nothing.”
“Really? You’re sure? Cuz, from where I’m standing, it sounds like you’re jealous.”
I scoffed. “Do you ever get tired of your own arrogance?”
“It’s not arrogance. Arrogance would be me going around saying that my cock is the be all and end all, ruining every woman I fuck for any other man thereafter, or some shit like that.”
“It did!”
Oh shit. The words were out of my mouth, before I could stop them. I instantly regretted it when I saw the look on his face.
He shifted his weight. “What?”
“I…I didn’t mean it. Forget it.”
He scoffed. “Darlin’, a man can’t just forget a claim like that.”
“Why didn’t you call?”
He blew out a breath and slumped against the fridge. “I was trying to protect you.”
“You said that before. It didn’t make sense then and it doesn’t now.”
“You would’ve stayed here, if I hadn’t blown you off.”
“I—”
“I saw it, Soph. That look in your eyes. It was the same goddamn look in mine.”
“You’re saying—”
“I’m saying…it was more than sex to me. Much more.”
Oh my God.
“But you needed to go. You needed to get the hell out of this dead-end town. And…you need to now, too.”
“You don’t protect me. I do. I decide what’s best for me, not you, Brad.”
“You were young and naïve. I had to be the one to make the break.”
“So, it wasn’t about me being Ollie’s sister then?”
“I’m not gonna lie, that was also a factor. But, not the main one. Hell, the damage had already been done at that point. I’d already betrayed him by fucking you.”
“I thought you…I thought I was just another one of your sluts.”
His eyes flashed. In the next second, my back was against the fridge and he was looming over me. “You would never be one of them. Never, Soph.”
I could barely breathe with him so close to me. I don’t know how I managed it, but I eventually found my breath. “I…you were the first.”
I’d never seen him so shocked in all the time I’d known him. “You were a virgin?”
I nodded, biting my lip nervously.
He closed his eyes tightly for a moment and drew in a breath. When he opened them, they were full of pain and regret. “Christ, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. I guess, I was worried. I didn’t want you to stop. I wanted you. I wanted that first time to be with you.”
“But…how? How were you a virgin? You were dating that prick, right? And…what about all the guys fawning over you in high school?”
“Jake and I hadn’t done anything at that point. I was…scared, I guess. As for high school, you remember my brother, right? No one dared to get close to me. They were all terrified of him. And you, ironically. The two of you blocked any guy who took an interest in me.”
That made him laugh a little. But it didn’t last long. That pained look was back just as quickly.
“You regret it, don’t you? Now that you know?”
“I wasn’t gentle, Soph. Hell, I was drunk and fucked up, because of the shit that’d happened that week.”
“You didn’t hurt me.”
“Still…fuck. If I’d known, I would’ve…taken my time with you.”
“Brad, it was—”
“Shit, Soph.”
A flurry of emotions played on his face. They shifted so quickly, that I couldn’t pinpoint any specific one. They all blended together. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
Was he mad about what I’d told him? Did he feel betrayed, because he hadn’t known the truth about me at the time? I’d intended to tell him that night, but everything had happened so fast. And, as soon as he’d touched me, I hadn’t been capable of rational thought. The only thing I’d known t
hen was that I hadn’t wanted him to stop; not for anything. I’d wanted him for so long and that night he’d finally reciprocated. He’d wanted me. There was no way I could’ve walked away from that.
When he finally spoke, I released a stilted breath that I’d apparently been holding in the entire time.
“I need to rectify this,” he declared in an off-putting, matter-of-fact manner.
My brow furrowed. What the hell was he talking about? “How?”
He answered by lunging at me and hauling me off my feet.
Before I knew what was happening, he was carrying me out of the kitchen.
Chapter 9
~Brad~
She squealed in surprise as I dropped her on my bed. She shifted around on the mattress, trying to right herself.
I watched her for a few moments.
Her entire body was tense. Nervous. But the way she kept writhing around, unable to keep still, gave away her neediness.
I pulled off my shirt quickly and climbed on top of her.
Deep pools of blue locked with mine, gazing at me with reverence. I felt a painful pull in my chest. She worshipped me. I could see it then. And I didn’t deserve it. I knew I didn’t. I’d done nothing but taint her. Hell, I’d robbed her of her fucking innocence, something she’d held onto for so long, without a second thought. She was seeing something in me that I couldn’t accept. A good man. A better man.
And I wasn’t that. I was dark and dirty.
She was nothing but light. My light.
And I was just casting shadows over her, dimming all the good and innocence in her.
I flinched as her soft hands blazed a trail of heat over my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut.
It was torture having her touch me. Temptation was overruling my head.
Unlike last time, I was sober, but I didn’t feel it. A thick haze of lust drowned out the warning that should’ve been blaring at an alarming volume. No, it was more than lust. Far more. I’d never felt anything like it. I’d never wanted anyone as much as I wanted her.
I wanted to make amends, to erase my mistake from that night. I couldn’t bear the idea of her first time having been that night. She’d deserved more than that. So much more. Hearing those words from her downstairs, her telling me that I’d been her first, had crippled me. I’d felt sick. And I was still sick about it. The rational thinker in me knew that I could never make up for it. It’d already happened.
