“If you can transform into a tiger whenever you want, and can control it, it doesn’t sound like too bad a curse to me,” replied Amanda.
“Jack thought so too,” Joshua said, smiling crookedly. “He revelled in his power, but slowly he realised this ability darkened his already cruel nature. He degenerated into a beast, though he still appeared to be a man. After he killed a woman while in his tiger form, his son had him locked away in a mental asylum.
His son shared the same ability and risk as Jack did, but he learned to control it. He taught his son to do the same and so on until my dad gave me the same training. Nobody outside our family knows of this ability, and it is a constant struggle to maintain our human virtues and keep the primal urges at bay.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Amanda asked her voice shaky and uncertain. “If it’s a secret, why did you show me?”
Joshua smiled at her, and the tenderness it carried made her want to cry. “I told you. You are my life mate. At some point in the lives of all the Tarran males, we find a person we truly connect with and who has the strength to share our secret. It is the one concession the holy man gave us, as an acknowledgement that we are not all like Jack. A woman will come to tame the savage tiger inside us, and help us to rise above our nature.”
Amanda shook her head. “No. I’m not that woman!”
“Please, when I’ve explained everything you will understand.”
“No!” Amanda repeated becoming hysterical. “This is all a trick! You’re playing with me! You’re just as bad as Natasha!”
“Amanda please – ”
“Get off me!” Amanda yelled, lashing out at him. Her hand slapped against Joshua’s face. He recoiled, stunned. “Get away from me!” Amanda screamed. Tears ran unchecked down her face and her body was engulfed with heaving sobs. “This isn’t real!” she moaned.
He moved off the bed, his face ashen. With mechanical movements, he picked up his dressing gown and put it back on. Then he turned and walked out of the room without speaking another word.
“This isn’t real!” Amanda sobbed again, and crumpled into the bed.
Chapter 7: Wild Hearts
Miserable and confused, Amanda tried to find solace. After Joshua had left her and she’d pulled herself together, she’d showered and dressed and escaped from the suite. She had spent most of the day drifting around the hotel, trying to avoid people and figure out what was going on.
Now, as evening deepened, she’d come down to the private beach that bordered the one side of the building. It was surprisingly quiet and Amanda went down to the far end near some rocks, and settled into the sand to watch the waves and the sunset.
The tranquil surroundings did little to calm the storm in her heart and mind. Joshua’s transformation had to have been a trick, she told herself. It was another game of his, probably some scheme to get back at Natasha. It had all been done by special effects. There just wasn’t any logical way that he had really transformed into an animal.
He had said she was his mate, the only true love of his life. She closed her eyes and hugged herself. It was all lies. He couldn’t possibly love her. She had nothing a man like him would want. She was not a thoroughbred like Natasha. She was just an ordinary curvy girl a million miles from what he was used to. Sure, he’d defended her honour after Natasha’s little stunt but that was only because he was a philanthropist at heart.
Like the island of Maho, Amanda had been in desperate need and he’d tried to help her. He’d probably bedded her out of sympathy. Perhaps this whole tiger routine was something he did with all the girls he slept with if he was afraid they got too clingy or try and blackmail him.
That was it. He’d scare them out of their wits so they wouldn’t get the hell away from him. Well, it had worked. Amanda wanted off this island and she never wanted to see Joshua ever again.
“Hello, do you want some company?” an all-too-familiar voice said from behind her.
Amanda turned round, and openly glared. “Toby,” she said with real venom in her voice.
Toby raised his hands and gave her a disarming grin. He was casually dressed in a black short-sleeved shirt and long, stone-grey cargo shorts. Since arriving for the wedding he’d been working on his tan, so now he was the same deep bronze as Joshua. Amanda had to admit, he looked good.
“Hey, don’t shoot,” he said in a soothing tone. “I come in peace.”
“What do you want?” Amanda asked brusquely, in no mood for him.
He squatted down next to her, and dipped his eyes shyly. “I just wanted to see how you were doing. I haven’t seen much of you since the wedding.”
“That’s because I’m avoiding you,” she snapped, no longer feeling the need to show him any respect. “After that little trick your sister pulled, I’ve developed an allergic reaction to spiteful rich jerks.”
Toby nodded. “Point taken,” he said. “It was about that I wanted to talk about. Natasha can be a real bitch when she wants to be. I’m sorry that she hurt you.”
“You were much a part of it as well,” Amanda said accusingly. “Why should I believe you care?”
“Hey, I tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted,” Toby replied, going on the defensive. “When she sets her mind on something she won’t be swayed, and she doesn’t care who gets hurt. What she did to you is nothing compared to some of the tricks she’s pulled. If I could, I’d turn my back on her altogether.”
“Why don’t you then?” Amanda demanded. “If she’s so difficult just walk away. It is possible, though it hurts.” She thought about Joshua and a lump came to her throat.
“Natasha holds all the purse strings,” Toby said mournfully. “Dad doesn’t think I can be trusted out on my own so he gave Natasha sole control of my trust fund. If I don’t dance to her tune she’ll leave me high and dry.”
Amanda folded her arms, trying to resist Toby’s boyish charms. “You can always stand on your own two feet, like most people have to. You know, get a job and earn your own money.”
“I would, but I’m not much good at anything,” Toby protested. “The last job I had I was fired within fifteen minutes of starting.”
Amanda couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s pathetic.”
“It cheered you up though,” Toby said, edging closer to her. “It’s good to see you happy.”
She sighed heavily, remembering all her problems again. “What makes you think I needed cheering up?”
“It’s pretty obvious. You and Joshua had a fall out?”
“You could say that,” Amanda said, closing up.
When she wasn’t forthcoming with any further details, he nodded and looked out to sea. “I’m sure you’ll work things out,” he said at length.
“No we won’t,” Amanda replied with candour. “We broke up.”
Toby swung his head round to scrutinize her. “Seriously? You guys have looked pretty tight all week.”
“Looks can be deceptive,” Amanda said, not bothering to staunch the bitterness seeping into her tone. “We’re done, permanently.”
Toby seemed to ruminate on this. “That’s too bad,” he said. “You made a good couple.”
“Look, I don’t want to be rude and it was very nice of you to apologise, but I’d like to be left on my own, please. I have a lot to think about.”
“Don’t be like that,” Toby said gently, leaning in towards her. “Joshua doesn’t know a good thing when he sees it, but I’m not like that.”
Amanda gave him a wary glance. “What are you talking about?”
“Come on, there’s no need to play with me,” Toby whispered. He ran his finger along her bare arm. “I know all that with Joshua was just a show. We’re both free agents, and I can make it worth your while.”
“You’ve got the wrong idea,” Amanda said harshly. “If you’ll excuse me, I should get back to the hotel. Good night.”
She made to get to her feet, but Toby grabbed her arm. She winced at the pain. “Drop the act,” he s
aid, grinning nastily. “You know the score. You can sell the story afterwards if you want, I don’t mind, and I’m guessing you need the money.”
“Get off me!” yelled Amanda. She yanked free of his grip, catching the side of Toby’s face with her nails.
“Bitch!” Toby spat. With brutal ferocity, he pushed her into the sand and clawed at her peach coloured summer dress.
“Stop!” yelled Amanda, struggling to get free. Despite his slim built, he was much stronger than her and she was held fast. “Stop or I’ll scream!” They were in a secluded part of the beach and nobody was around, but maybe someone would hear her.
Toby pressed his hand over her mouth. “No one is going to come,” he rasped. “Don’t worry, you’ll enjoy it.” With his free hand, he fumbled with the buttons on his shorts.
Something huge suddenly jumped down from the rocks, startling them both. A bellowing roar pierced Amanda’s eardrums. Toby leapt off her like he’d been electrocuted. Amanda immediately scooted away from him and turned to face the tiger standing on the rocks.
“Jesus!” Toby yelled. He grabbed Amanda and pushed her in the way of the big cat before pelting across the beach back toward the hotel.
Amanda stared after him in shock and felt something furry nuzzle her arm. She looked round to see Joshua gazing up at her. Relief flooded through her and she hugged the powerful animal for all she was worth. “Oh God,” she sobbed. “Thank you, thank you!”
“We’d better go before he brings company,” he said, his voice more like a growl. “Then, we definitely need to talk.”
* * *
Leaving the hotel undetected later that night, Joshua drove them both in his jeep along a narrow dirt road that snaked deep into the forest. Amanda looked around the ominous surroundings with anxiously, unsure where he was taking her, but she wanted to stay with him with all her heart now. Only with him, did she feel truly safe.
Joshua was taciturn for most of the journey, and for that Amanda was grateful. An intense conversation was coming, she sensed it in every fibre of her being, and she knew she would have to bare her soul to this strange, incredible man. She couldn’t hide from him any more and nor could she hide from her own feelings.
After several hours, they came to a large clearing in the brush. Solar lights set out at regular interviews on the ground gave off a spectral blue light, and a wide, placid lake reflected the glowing orb of the moon. A large wooden cabin with a thatched roof stood on the bank of the lake. Joshua pulled up in front of the dwelling.
“What is this place?” Amanda asked, breaking the silence.
“It’s my hideaway,” Joshua replied. “I come here to de-stress, and I can move about freely in tiger form.”
Amanda nodded. “I bet it’s really beautiful here in the daytime.”
“It is.”
Amanda looked over to him. His face was half-hidden in shadow. “You can truly be yourself here.”
“Do you now believe I can shape shift?”
She shrugged. “I don’t have much choice.”
Joshua nodded. “And what I said about you being my mate,” he said in a careful voice. “You believe that too?”
“Whatever else you might be Joshua, you’re still a man,” Amanda said sardonically, “and I never believe anything a man tells me.”
Joshua let out a low growl and got out of the jeep, leaving Amanda where she was. She watched him stalk toward the lake. After a few moments, she hesitantly got out of the vehicle and walked over to join him.
“You won’t even give me a chance,” Joshua said, keeping his eyes on the dark waters. “I know this is a lot to take in, but you could at least have some faith that my feelings for you are genuine.”
“I can’t help it,” Amanda said in a hollow voice. “It’s my defence mechanism. I’ve been hurt too many times in the past to be able to really trust someone.”
“We’ve all been hurt.” Joshua’s voice was raw with pain. “That doesn’t mean you turn down every chance of happiness that comes your way. Doing that eventually turns you into something worse than Natasha and Toby.”
The words stung her, and she gaze miserably into the waters. “I always make the same mistake,” she said at length. “I always fall for the wrong guy. He’s all nice and wonderful at first, but it soon changes. He takes advantage of me and calls the shots, and I end up being the doormat in the relationship.”
“Not all men are like that,” countered Joshua.
“All the men I’ve been with are like that,” she replied bleakly. “Why? Because I make them like that. I’ve not had many boyfriends, but it’s always been the same story. It goes back to when I was a kid. I was always paranoid about my weight and looks, and I got bullied pretty bad at one point.
It didn’t help that my mom was always pushing me to behave like the perfect girl next door, so I’d land myself a good-looking rich man. Well all her pressure just made me go in the opposite direction and that was how I ended up with Scott.”
“Who’s Scott?” Joshua asked.
“He was the worse of all my bad boyfriends,” Amanda said wryly. “I met him when I finished college, and thought he was my Prince Charming. I’d just been dumped by a creep who’d been cheating on me anyway, and Scott was the answer to my prayers.
Shame he turned out to be the biggest bully and control freak of them all. He stripped me down to nothing, until I was convinced I was to blame for all his moods and cruel whims. I’d still be with him now if it wasn’t for Aunt Debra.”
“Aunt Debra?”
“She’s my mom’s sister. When mom moved to Florida, Aunt Debra was the only other family I had left in the area. She didn’t know what was going on until I turned up at hers in tears one night. I’d had a massive row with Scott when I’d found naked pictures of another girl on his phone.
When I confronted him, he said if I was any good in bed he wouldn’t have to look elsewhere. That was the last straw. I had to get out of the apartment, and Aunt Debra was the only person I could think of to turn to.
“Turns out that was the best decision of my life. She took me in and looked after me, and gave me back my self-respect. I was going to go back to Scott to patch things up with him, but she convinced me to break up with him. She said I didn’t need him and I could do so much better. She helped me turn my life around and have the strength to stand on my own two feet. I owe that woman everything.”
“She sounds like an amazing person,” Joshua said with feeling.
“She was,” Amanda replied, sadness welling inside her. “She died of ovarian cancer a year ago.”
Joshua bowed his head. “I’m so sorry.”
“There’s not a day goes by when I don’t think about her. I wouldn’t be standing here now if she didn’t believe in me.”
Joshua came forward, and Amanda tingled at his strength. “I have much to be thankful for,” he said softly.
“You really can do that, can’t you? Transform into a tiger, I mean. It’s not a trick.”
“I wish it was. My father knew the burden and when my mother died in a car accident when I was twelve, he was utterly lost. He carried on the business and prepared me for dealing with the curse, and I’m grateful for that, but he’s joy of life was gone. Because she was his life mate, he never married again and I’m convinced that his need to be with her again took him to an early death. I’m afraid I will go the same way.”
Amanda shuddered, reading the loss and burden in him. She understood now that this was the real Joshua. Behind the cold, arrogant exterior was a torment man of principle and honour. At that moment, she loved him more than anything else in life.
She reached out and stroked his cheek. He closed his eyes and smiled with pleasure. “How did you know where I was earlier? When Toby attacked me?”
“Your scent intoxicates my senses,” he replied, opening his eyes. They were shimmering pools of sadness and yearning. “I couldn’t keep too far from you, even though I knew you didn’t want to see me. When Tob
y joined you, I was going to leave. I thought maybe he could make you happy.”
“I’m glad you didn’t. But, I still don’t understand why you would have anything to do with someone like Natasha. Did you think she was your mate?”
“A part of me wanted to believe that, and I almost revealed my secret to her. But something was missing. There is a predatory coldness in her. She would have wanted to use my power for her own ends.
I would have become as monstrous as Jack if we stayed together. Then I met you, and you felt different. I knew I’d found my mate, but I was so unsure after Natasha. I needed to know if you were the one for me, and coming here was the only way to find out.”
“So this game of pretending to be in love was to test me?”
“I’m so sorry,” Joshua said in a broken voice. “I played games with your life. I’m no better than Natasha, but I needed you to know the truth. If you want to leave, I’ll understand. I don’t deserve your love.”
She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. “It doesn’t matter now. You convinced me. I’m not going anywhere.”
He gazed at her, hope suddenly kindling in his eyes. She nuzzled his cheek. “I’m willing to take a chance,” she whispered. “We both deserve a shot at happiness.”
She pulled away from him and sank to her knees. Above her, his breathing became ragged as she started undoing his shorts. They slid round his ankles a moment later, and she pulled free his throbbing meat.
“Oh, Amanda,” he crooned as she tasted him.
Fiery heat exploded between her legs as she swallowed him whole. She wanted to possess him and please him. Instinctively, she felt like his mate and their connection was unbreakable. He sighed with pleasure and raked her long hair with his strong fingers.
She caressed the firm swell of his buttocks in return, and sucked harder, returning the favour from last night. He let out wonderful little gasps and a contented growl, sending waves of pleasure through Amanda.
Romance: The Tiger's Hired Mate: BBW Tiger Shifter Romance Standalone (Spicy Shifters Book 2) Page 7
