For Craig
—M.W.S. and M.S.
For Josephine Olivia
—D.B.
chapter one
This Is Me
My name is Olivia Sharp.
I’m a special kind of detective.
I’m an agent for secrets.
If you have a secret problem, call me.
I work out of my penthouse on top of Pacific Heights in San Francisco.
chapter two
Wanted: New Clients
Let me tell you about my last case. It began on a Saturday.
The week had been slow. The red phone in my office hadn’t rung in days. My desk was clean. I was trying to figure out what I could do to drum up business.
I decided to hit the streets and see who I could find who needed help.
I grabbed my boa and rang for my chauffeur, Willie, to bring the limo around.
Then I went to the elevator and pressed the button.
chapter three
Mystery Boy
When the elevator came I stepped inside.
There was a boy standing in the corner.
The elevator started down. The boy slid his eyes sideways to look me over.
I had never seen him before. I could hardly see him now. A big hat was pulled down over his face. He was wearing a raincoat, even though it wasn’t raining. He looked like he needed help. With his clothes, if nothing else.
“My name is Olivia Sharp,” I said.
“Hello, Liver.”
We were not off to a good start!
“I’m an agent for secrets,” I said. “You may have heard of me. I’m almost famous. Here’s my card.”
“That’s stupid,” he said. He pushed his hat up. He had green eyes that glittered like a Halloween cat’s.
“Stupid is a stupid word,” I said. I fluffed my boa and turned my back on him.
When the elevator reached the ground floor, he just stood there. Maybe he lived in the elevator. I didn’t want to. I got out.
Willie was waiting at the curb with the limo.
“Where to, Boss?” he asked as we rolled out of the courtyard, through the big iron gates, and onto Steiner Street.
“Cruise the streets. We’re looking for clients, Willie.”
Willie drove us around and around. And up and down.
This was soooo ho-hum.
I started to think about my cousin, Nate the Great. He’s a detective, too.
But he doesn’t have to look for clients.
He gets his cases whether he wants them or not.
chapter four
The Feathered Present
Twenty minutes later I spotted some kids going into the grocery store on Union Street. “Pull over,” I said.
I went into the grocery store while Willie parked the limo. I headed for the vegetable department. You can get a good view of the store from there.
I was turning over some mushrooms when someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I knew it was Sheena, even before I looked. All I had to do was sniff. Sheena uses a shampoo that smells like macaroons.
“Am I glad you’re here!” she said. “I need your help.”
I didn’t want to let on that I was desperate for a new case. And besides, it doesn’t look classy to pick up clients while you’re feeling vegetables.
“What kind of help?” I asked coolly.
Sheena leaned closer to me. “It’s about Desiree’s birthday. Duncan, Mortimer, and I told Desiree we wanted to chip in for one nice present for her party tomorrow. We asked her for a hint about what she’d like. She said, ’I love feathers.’ So we bought Desiree a canary.”
“A canary?”
“Yes. A canary has lots of feathers.”
“Right. So what’s the secret problem?”
“The canary is. We want the canary to be a secret until Desiree’s party. Mortimer took it home. But Desiree went to his house and started looking around. That’s not fair! A secret is supposed to be a secret.”
“I guess Desiree just can’t wait to see what you got her. But if she finds out she’ll spoil her own surprise. She didn’t see the canary, did she?”
Sheena smiled. “No, it was lucky that Duncan had come by to take it out for a walk.”
“Duncan took a canary for a walk?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I lifted my boa out of a bin of broccoli.
“Yes. Duncan says canaries need fresh air. So he took it out, cage and all.”
“Go on.”
“Well, since Desiree had been snooping around Mortimer’s house, Duncan said he’d keep the canary at his house.”
“That didn’t solve your problem?” I asked.
“No. Desiree went to Duncan’s house! Good thing I was there. I grabbed the canary cage and sneaked down the back stairs before Desiree could see the canary and me. And here we are!”
“We?”
Sheena pointed to the floor. Behind her was a canary cage! Sheena kept pointing.
“I can’t take him home because I know Desiree will come over. She’ll keep going to Mortimer’s and Duncan’s and my house until she catches one of us with the canary.”
“Let me get this straight,” I said. “Your problem is that you have no place to keep the canary until Desiree’s birthday party?”
“That’s it,” Sheena said. “This can be your new case.”
This was a case? No way.
It was a thousand yawns!
chapter five
The Missing Ad
But I wanted to help Sheena and Mortimer and Duncan. But how? Then I had an idea.
“I’m good with birds,” I said. “I already have my pet owl, Hoot. And I have lots of room. I’ll keep the canary until Desiree’s party tomorrow. And I’ll keep it a secret.”
Sheena handed me the birdcage. “His name is Feathers. He’s named for Desiree’s hint.”
“Good to know,” I said.
Sheena walked away.
I said, “I usually don’t do business over vegetables. I have an office, I have a desk, I have files, I have a red telephone. I have ads all over town with my telephone number on them.”
I pointed to the bulletin board near the front of the store. “I even have an ad in this store.”
“Not anymore,” Sheena said. “I checked for it, but it’s gone.”
“Gone? How can it be gone?”
Sheena shrugged and walked away.
chapter six
I Spy, You Spy
I rushed to the bulletin board. I looked at the spot where I had put up my ad. I saw an ad. But it wasn’t mine! It said:
I lifted a corner of the ad and looked under it.
My ad was still there! Hidden. This E. J. person had covered it up.
I pulled down E.J.’s ad and put it in my pocketbook. I was going to call 555-4133! There was plenty of room for both of our ads, so why had E.J. covered mine?
I left the store with the canary and the spy ad.
“Nice bird, Boss,” Willie said.
Willie drove us home.
The elevator was empty this time. Maybe Mr. Stupid had a hobby of riding in elevators and he had gone on to another building. I could only hope.
chapter seven
The Overnight Guest
I introduced Feathers to my housekeeper, Mrs. Fridgeflake.
“We have an overnight guest,” I said.
Then I went to Hoot’s room and said, “I’ve got a friend for you, Hoot.”
Hoot looked at Feathers. It was not a friendly look. It was a hungry look.
I decided to give Feathers his own room.
I put him in the yellow room, which matched his feathers. It’s my parents’ room, but I knew they wouldn’t mind since they were in Stockholm, Sweden, t
hat week. I wished they would come home soon.
“This room belongs to ’Wilfred and Maude. They’re my parents,” I said to Feathers. “So behave yourself.”
I went to my office to call 555-4133.
But my red telephone rang first.
Maybe a real client at last!
chapter eight
The Cover-up
“Olivia Sharp, Agent for Secrets,” I answered.
“Your world is coming to an end,” a voice said.
It was Duncan.
“My world is coming to an end?” I asked.
“Yes. I just saw four of your ads covered over with some kind of spy ad. Now you’re the one who has a problem. Can I help?”
“Four of my ads?”
This was spreading! Pretty soon all my ads would be hidden. Maybe they were already.
No wonder business was bad!
“I’ll look into it” I said. “Thanks.”
chapter nine
Thinking Time
I put down the receiver. Then I picked it up and dialed 555-4133.
After the fifth ring I heard a boy’s voice announce, “This is E.J.’s Spy Service. I will be glad to spy for you, but I am not here right now. Leave your number.”
An answering machine! I refuse to talk to machines. I slammed down the receiver.
I went to my furry white chair, sat down, and looked out the window. There was no fog over San Francisco Bay, and I could see the boats moving back and forth past Alcatraz Island.
I thought about the boy’s voice on the answering machine. The sound of the s in Spy and Service. I had heard that s before. But where?
I sank deeper into my chair. But not for long. I heard chirp, chirp, chirp.
Feathers was chirping away.
Chirp, chirp, chirp. Nonstop. Noisy bird!
That’s what I like about an owl. It only gives a hoot now and then.
Maybe Feathers was hungry. What do you feed a canary?
chapter ten
Mr. Stupid
I grabbed my boa and the canary cage. I rang for Willie to bring the limo around.
“To the Feathered Friends Pet Shop,” I said as I settled into the backseat with Feathers.
It only took five minutes to get there. Feathers chirped all the way.
The store was full of feathery pets.
One of them looked like my boa.
I made my way past a goose, a duck, a chicken, a parrot, and a canary.
I held up my canary cage.
“I’ll have one day’s supply of whatever this creature eats,” I said to a lady behind the counter.
I bought the pet food and fed Feathers on the spot.
Then we went home.
Willie parked the limo while I got into the elevator with Feathers.
Mr. Stupid was there!
He pulled his collar up and his hat down.
“Is that your canary?” he asked as the elevator started up.
“This isn’t a canary,” I said. “This is actually an elephant, pretending to be a canary.”
“That’s stupid,” he said.
“Just a minute,” I said. “That’s two stupids too many. Who do you think you are, anyway?”
The elevator jerked to a stop at the fourth floor.
“So long, Liver,” he said, and he got off.
He walked to the door of the apartment just opposite the elevator. My best friend, Taffy Plimpton, had lived in that apartment before she moved away to Carmel. Mr. Stupid must have moved in!
“Wait!” I called.
But the elevator door closed.
chapter eleven
Agent vs. Spy
Suddenly I knew who he really was! When he said stupid, the s had leapt up and nudged my brain. S as in Spy Service. This boy was E.J., the person who had covered my ads and spoiled my business!
When the elevator reached my floor, I went straight to my office and dialed 555-4133.
This time E.J. answered. “E.J., the spy who’s sly, at your service.”
“This is Olivia Sharp, Agent for Secrets, and I know yours. You live on the fourth floor of my building.”
“So what?” he said.
“So this,” I said. “You’ve been going around town covering up my ads. Why?”
“You’re an agent for secrets. I’m a spy. You figure it out.”
I figured it out and I didn’t like it.
“Can’t talk,” he said. “I’m busy with a big case.”
This kid was unreal. I yawned and said, “Oh, really? You’ve got an actual case?”
“Right. So long, Liver.”
He hung up.
I don’t believe in war, but E.J. was beginning to give the idea a good name. He hadn’t heard the last of me.
chapter twelve
The Decoy
I went to my room to paint my toenails.
I was on nail number four when the doorbell rang.
I padded out to the door and opened it.
Mortimer was standing there, looking scared. That’s his regular look. I wish I could help him with that, but he hasn’t asked me.
“It’s my turn to take Feathers for his walk,” he said. “We’re going to Alta Plaza Park.”
I got Feathers and handed the cage to Mortimer. “You two enjoy your walk.”
I went back to my toenails.
I was giving nail number two a second coat when the doorbell rang.
Mortimer was back. He tiptoed in and closed the door.
“A kid with a big hat followed me down in the elevator,” he said. “He asked me who the canary belonged to. I didn’t tell him.”
I laughed. “That’s E.J. He thinks he’s a spy. He’s new in the building.”
“He’s new at school, too,” Mortimer said. “I’ve seen him talking to Desiree a lot.”
“Oh, no!” I said. “We’re in big trouble. I bet Desiree hired him to find out what her feathered present from you and Sheena and Duncan is. And now he’s seen you with Feathers!”
“And he’s waiting to see me some more,” Mortimer said. “He’s downstairs, hiding behind a plant.”
Now I knew I had a real case! And I knew what I had to do.
I grabbed Feathers’s cage. “Feathers is staying in,” I said. “You’re taking Hoot to the park. Lead the spy away from this building. If he asks you about Hoot, tell him you’ve got a bird-walking service.”
I got Hoot, gave her to Mortimer, and pushed him out the door.
chapter thirteen
Face to Face
There wasn’t time to start a file on the case. I rang for Willie.
“Back to the Feathered Friends Pet Shop,” I said as I stepped into the limo.
When we got to the pet store I dashed inside, pointing in all directions.
“Do you rent?” I asked. “Never mind, I’ll take one of each.”
I got back in the limo with a duck, a parrot, and a turkey.
“You’re going overboard for birds, Boss,” “Willie said as the duck tried to waddle around the front seat.
Back home I had Willie check to make sure the elevator was empty.
E.J. was not in sight.
The birds and I made the trip to the top without any problems, except for some squawking and quacking.
Mrs. Fridgeflake eyed them nervously. “More overnight guests?”
I put the birds in the blue room in back. “I’ll come for you soon,” I promised them, and I closed the door.
Ten minutes later Mortimer rang the bell. “We were followed every step of the way,” he whispered. “Is our secret safe or unsafe?”
“Soon it will be safe,” I said.
Mortimer handed Hoot to me and left.
I put Hoot in the yellow room with Feathers. “No fighting,” I warned.
I went to my office, grabbed my red telephone, and dialed 555-4133.
“E.J.’s Spy Service,” a voice answered. “This is E.J.”
“This is Olivia Sharp.”
�
��Hi, Liver. I know one of your secrets.”
“Do you?”
“Sure. That’s my job.
Mortimer, Sheena, and Duncan got a birthday present for Desiree and you’re keeping it for them.”
I tapped my pencil on my desk. “Am I?”
“Listen, Liver. Desiree hinted for a present with feathers. And they got her a canary. Or an owl. Either way it’s a pretty weird birthday present, if you ask me.”
“I didn’t ask. And don’t you dare come up here to look around!”
I slammed down the receiver.
I was smiling. I knew it wouldn’t be long before my doorbell rang.
It wasn’t.
He was there at the big door, big hat and all.
“Stay out,” I said, leaving the door open wide enough for him to squeeze his way in. He was now dealing, face to face, with Olivia Sharp, Agent for Secrets.
chapter fourteen
Feathered Confusion
E.J. started to walk around my penthouse.
Chirping sounds and hoots were coming from the yellow room.
He headed straight for it, walked in, and saw Feathers and Hoot. “One of these is Desiree’s present,” he said. “All I have to do is figure out which one.”
I slipped away while E.J. went on talking.
I walked down the hall, opened the door to the blue room, and said, “Okay, birds, you’re free!”
I was back before E.J. knew I was gone.
He was still staring at Hoot, then Feathers, then back at Hoot again.
The Sly Spy Page 1
