by Mia Ford
“Sure,” I said, glancing up at Jason who was staring down at his screen. “I’ll be over as soon as I can.”
I hung up the phone and sat in complete amazement for several minutes. Jason scrunched his brow in concern when he looked over across the office. There was no way I could be pregnant. We had just started sleeping together not that long ago, and my chances were slim to none. Specifically, none, at least according to my previous doctor. If I’d thought there was a possibility, we would have used condoms.
I felt like I was in a dream, and everything around me was moving in slow motion. The doctor had to have made some kind of mistake. All I needed to do was to go down and give them a blood sample, and they would see they had made a mistake. I stood up from my desk and walked out of the office, so much in a trance that I didn’t even see Jason standing in his doorway. I knocked on John’s door and entered as he signalled for me to come in, finishing his phone call. I stood there in a daze until he hung up and looked over at me.
“How can I help you, Tiffany?” He said looking at me concerned. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, yeah,” I replied. “Just not feeling too hot. Would you mind if I left a little early? I just had my doctor call, and he needs me to come in and give another blood sample. I am not sure how long it will take, but if I can make it back in time before the day’s over, I will.”
“Sure,” he said, smiling. “Should we be worried about anything?”
“No,” I scoffed. “It’s just some routine stuff.”
“Okay, good,” he replied.
I walked out of his office and back to mine, my eyes still fixated off in the distance as if I could see everything changing in front of me. I pulled on my jacket and grabbed my purse, walking out and to the elevators before Jason even realized I was gone. I wanted to make one hundred percent sure the doctor was right before dropping that kind of information on him like that. I stared up at the numbers on the elevator as they dinged by until I had reached the lobby. I walked out of the building and grabbed a cab, giving them the address after sitting down and closing the door. My mind was racing, and I couldn’t even get my thoughts together before we reached the doctor’s office. I was walking around like I was some sort of zombie. What if I was pregnant? What would Jason do? What would he say?
I paid the cab driver and walked into the building, unbuttoning my jacket as I approached the front desk. I told them who I was, and they took me straight back to an exam room. The nurse came in and took my vitals, and then the doctor came in to talk to me. I had so many questions, but I didn’t even know where to start. He smiled at me, flopping my file on the desk and leaning back against the sink.
“So, does all of this mean I’m actually pregnant?”
“As far as it looks right now,” the doctor replied. “Yes, you are pregnant. We are going to take another blood sample and double check that the HCG levels are going up, and then, I can officially stamp it that you are indeed pregnant. You scared that sperm so bad that they made a baby before I could even recommend a treatment for you.”
“Ha,” I laughed. “This is crazy.”
I sat silently as the doctor took down some notes. He stood up and walked over to me, grasping my shoulder. I was quiet, and my face must have shown how stunned I was at the news. The doctor was smiling, though.
“Relax, and take a deep breath,” he said. “Remember, this is what you wanted. Congratulations. I’m going to send in the nurse to take that blood sample. We should have the results back in a day or two. As soon as we have confirmation, we’ll get you over to your regular doctor and start preparing you for this amazing journey.”
I nodded my head, words unable to make it out of my mouth. I sat there with my feet dangling from that same chair I had wanted to get out of so quickly just a couple days before. I looked up at the pictures on the walls, and they had a completely different feel to them. I could picture my face on the woman’s, Jason’s face on the man’s, and a beautiful little baby looking back at us. Immediately, fear followed, flooding my chest with dread. I was going to have to tell Jason we were going to have a baby. We had just started dating and hadn’t even told each other how we really felt about each other. Now, I was going to be telling him I was pregnant before I even told him I loved him. I knew this was what I wanted at the beginning, but my life had changed. I wasn’t in the circumstances I’d planned for a pregnancy. It just wasn’t time yet. This was so unexpected, and my mind was whirling around me. I ran my hands over my face and took in a deep breath, trying to get control of my emotions.
I looked up as the nurse walked in, carrying a syringe and a couple of tubes to put my blood in. I rolled up my sleeve and stuck out my arm, staring blankly at the picture on the wall as she tied the rubber band around my arm. I flexed my fist, trying to make enough pressure for her to get a good sample. She released the band after pushing the needle into my arm. Usually, I winced, but it was like my mind wouldn’t even let me react to the needle she stuck in my arm. I looked down as she filled the vials with blood and then removed the needle, putting a bandage in its place. She walked over and wrote down some things on my chart and stuck stickers to the vials. She turned back toward me, but I was too lost in my thoughts to even notice until I felt her warm hand against my skin.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I said, shaking myself back into reality. “I’m okay.”
“These tests shouldn’t take too long,” she explained. “If you need anything between now and then, just give us a call. If it is after hours call your physician, and as always, if it is an emergency, just head into the hospital.”
“Okay.” I shook my head and smiled.
I pulled my sleeve back down and hopped off the examination table. I pulled my coat around me and walked out into the hallway, moving to the side as a very pregnant woman passed me. I looked down at my own stomach, quickly pulling my jacket closed and heading out to the street. I took in a deep breath of the cold air and looked down the street to where there was a small café. I walked over, knowing there was no way I could go back to work, and ordered a hot chocolate. I took the cup to a back booth and slid in, pulling my coat collar up to block the breeze from the opening and closing door. I held the hot chocolate in my hands and let the warmth move over me. I couldn’t even start to believe that I was going to be a mother.
I sat in the café for a couple of hours, ordering a second hot chocolate, more for the warmth than the actual drink. I watched as people walked in and out of the café, most in scrubs belonging to the hospital adjacent to the coffee shop. I thought about everything from the news in front of me to my future as a mother. I wondered what Jason was going to say about everything, thinking it funny that he was the one who had set me up for the appointment in the first place. I was relieved to know I could have children, but I never thought I would find out this way. I ran my hand down over my belly and closed my eyes, searching for any answer as to why life had worked out this way. Immediately Jason’s face popped up in my thoughts. I needed to at least call him.
I pulled out my phone and read the missed messages from him. I had bolted from the office without even a word, and I felt guilty for not saying something to him before I left. He seemed to be nervous and worried about me. I dialed his number, my hands shaking, and put the phone to my ear, waiting for him to answer.
“Hey,” I said when he answered.
“Hey, I’ve been worried sick about you,” he said. “My father said you had some kind of doctor’s appointment to get to.”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “It’s a long story, but we have to talk.”
“Okay,” he said. “I’m leaving here in the next twenty minutes. You want to meet me at my place?”
“Sounds perfect,” I said, softening my tone so that he wouldn’t worry too much.
We hung up, and I stayed sitting in the booth for just a few more minutes, thinking about how I was going to break the news to Jason. Something inside me told me not to be worried about telli
ng him this, but I couldn’t help my nervousness. At the very least, this could end my relationship with Jason, and as I stood and walked toward the door of the café, I braced myself. This news was about to change Jason’s life forever.
Chapter 23
Jason
I finished up everything at work and rushed to get out of the office. Tiffany was strongly on my mind, and I really hoped the doctor hadn’t given her the bad news. She didn’t need any more stress or sadness in her life. She had endured enough over the last few months. I hopped in one of the company cars and had him stop for flowers on the way. Whatever it was she had to tell me, I wanted to be ready to catch her, be there for her, and make her feel better the best I knew how. When I got home, she wasn’t there yet, so I went inside and changed my clothes. I pulled on a pair of jeans and sweater, stopping at the thermostat to turn on the heat. It had gotten freezing cold outside lately, and I wanted everything to be comfortable for Tiffany when she arrived. I had no idea what she was on her way to tell me, and my nerves bubbled in my stomach. What if she’d found out there was nothing they could do? What if she’d discovered it wasn’t PCOS but something else instead? Whatever it was, I would be there for her, and we would take the next step together, whatever it may be.
I walked through the house, pacing as I checked out the window for a cab every five seconds. I was assuming she was coming from the doctor’s office, which was across town, so she probably got stuck in traffic. I went into the kitchen and started the coffee maker, wanting something warm to heat up my hands while the heat in the house caught up enough to take the chill out of the air. At the same time, I didn’t know whether it was the house or my nerves causing me to be so cold and shaky. Everything had been going so well between us, and I was determined to help her get to a place with this condition where she felt comfortable, satisfied with her results, and resolute to move forward. The last thing I wanted was for her to be all alone, receiving some bad news from a doctor, and then have to repeat it all over again when she got to me. It wasn’t my place to go with her to the visits, but at that moment, I wished I had forced the issue.
I poured myself a cup of coffee and put the cream and sugar in, just how I liked. I wrapped my hands around the mug and carried it over to the window, leaning against the wall as I watched different cars pass back and forth down my road. Finally, a yellow cab pulled up out front, and I quickly made my way to the front door where I greeted Tiffany with open arms. I wrapped myself around her and squeezed her tightly, trying to gauge the look on her face. She didn’t look like there was anything seriously wrong, but it was more like her mind was on another planet. I took her hand and led her inside, closing the door behind us and following her into the living room. She took off her jacket and sat down on the couch, leaning her head back against the seat.
“Can I get you anything? I just made coffee,” I said, pointing to the kitchen.
“No.” She sent me a shaky smile. “Just come sit down.”
“Okay,” I said, taking a seat across from her. “I’m really nervous.”
“It's not completely confirmed yet,” she said, clenching her hands together. “But it looks like I’m pregnant.”
“What?” I blinked at her trying to wrap my head around those words. It was like she was talking in a different language. “You’re pregnant?”
“That’s what the blood tests said,” she replied. “I got a call earlier today from my doctor who said that my blood test, which they did since I had sex between periods, came back positive during the pregnancy test. They said I do have PCOS, but it seems that my body was willing to give this a chance without me having to jump through hoops. The blood test is going to make sure my HCG levels are rising like they are supposed to. Once they have that confirmed, then I go back to my regular doctor and go through this pregnancy like any normal person, with just a tad bit more attention because of the PCOS.”
“Wow,” I said standing up and walking around the room. I started laughing. “Wow, that is just absolutely amazing. This is beyond anything I could have imagined. I am more than thrilled.”
“Really?” She acted as if she expected a different reaction. “We only just started dating.”
“I know.” I sat next to her and took her hands in mine. “I don’t care how long we’ve been dating. I’m really excited to have a child with you. I want you to be happy, no matter what that means. I’ve always wanted children, and I have some very serious feelings for you. I mean nothing ever truly happens when we want it to, right? This baby is a miracle and a gift, and I couldn’t imagine sharing that with anyone else.”
She smiled wide, and I reached over, pulling her head toward mine, and pressed my lips against hers. She kissed me passionately before pulling away to rest her forehead against mine and look deep into my eyes. Tears pooled at the edges of hers, and I reached up and brushed my hand over her cheek. She was so beautiful and full of life, and with just those words of support, I could see her letting go of the fears and starting to allow herself to get excited over the news.
“So,” I said, leaning back and turning toward her. “Life is going to change so much. It's really exciting.”
“Gosh,” she scoffed. “More change, just what I need.”
“Yeah, but this is a good change,” I said excitedly. “I mean, we are really going to have a baby. I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl. I wonder if it will laugh like me or smile like you? I hope whatever gender it is, it has your wonderful, beautiful heart.”
She laughed, throwing her head back and sniffling. I leaned my head against my hand and smiled at her, loving the way she was starting to open up about everything. She relaxed a bit and pulled the throw on the edge of the couch around her shoulders. She looked deep into my eyes, her thoughts dancing across her face.
“When I was a little girl,” she began, “and my parents were all drugged up in the living room, I would lock myself in my room and dream about being a wife and mother. I imagined myself being the best mother ever. I knew I had to give my child lots of hugs, lots of kisses, and lots of love, more love than my parents had ever given me. I imagined my husband to be kind and sweet but strong and protective. He would take care of us, hold us, and be the kind of father I always wished I’d had. When the doctor told me I would never have children, it was almost as if I saw that memory shatter into a million pieces right in front of me. But now, now everything has changed again.”
“When I was a child,” I said, rubbing her arms, “I always knew I wanted to be a father one day. I knew I wanted to be a father to my child like my dad was with me. He was caring and soft but. at the same time, pushed me to be the best man I could be. He made us remember that having pride in ourselves, always being truthful and valiant, and being able to love would open so many doors in our life, not just romantically. I always wondered what he would have been like if one of us had been a girl. I had seen his soft side on a daily basis with the way he handled my mother. He has always been so gentle and kind with her, making sure she never wanted for anything, making sure she was completely taken care of. His family always came before the business, and part of me believes that was why he did so well.”
“Your dad is a wonderful father, and he is going to be an amazing grandfather.” She shook her head. “Part of me really wished my father was responsible enough to be a grandparent, but since I know that will never happen, I couldn’t be happier to have your father there as the solo grandpa.”
“My mom and dad are going to freak.” I laughed at the thought of telling them. “In a good way, of course. They have been waiting forever to become grandparents.”
“Jordan might be another story.” She cringed and shook her head. “He still thinks I can’t have children at all. It’s going to be interesting breaking the news to him.”
“Just shows he gave up too soon, but I’m sure he’ll be fine,” I replied, standing up and reaching down to pull Tiffany to her feet. “Come on, let’s go get comfy and watch movies in my bed. We can
just relax for tonight and enjoy this news between the two of us.”
“That sounds perfect.” She followed me back to the room with a satisfied smile replacing the lost expression she’d arrived with.
It was almost shocking how easy that went and even more shocking that there wasn’t an ounce of fear inside of me when she’d told me I was going to be a father. So many men would have taken that very poorly, especially having only dated someone for not even a full month. But with Tiffany, it was different, we were different, and I had never felt closer to her than I did then. She was so beautiful and so complete that I couldn’t imagine having a child with anyone else.
We threw on some warm comfortable clothes and pulled the covers up over us. At first, she laid her head on my chest, watching the old black and white movies that were playing, but she quickly sat up and continued talking about her childhood. I turned the sound down on my television and listened to her intently, wanting to hear every single story she had. I knew her childhood hadn’t been easy, but I was so glad that she and I could provide a life for our child that was comfortable, loving, and protected. My mind was whirling around like crazy at the thought of a baby growing inside of Tiffany’s stomach.
We sat up and talked almost all night long, turning off the movies after about an hour, recognizing we were more interested in discussing all of this and getting to know each other more than we already did. Luckily, she knew my parents and what kind of upbringing I’d had, so she felt comfortable talking about hers. A little after two in the morning, I got up to get a glass of water, but by the time I had come back, Tiffany was sound asleep in the bed. I turned on her alarm so she would have time to go home and change, and then curled up under the covers next to her. She was so warm and calm, and I couldn’t stop watching her sleep. With each breath, I knew that she was growing a child inside of her body, and not just any child but my child. I loved this woman more than anything, and I couldn’t wait to become a father with her by my side.
