by Ally Adams
“Are you okay?” Mia asked.
“Thanks for telling me that, it helps. Now you know why I’m not quite ready to move on with Dane just yet and I can’t give up completely on Tomás.”
“It’s worth hearing him out,” she said.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. The practical side of me is shitty with Tomás. Why not just say, ‘hey it’s over’ and send her back? She’s been here a week and she’s still here and in his house. I bet she’s in his bed.” I touched my chest at the thought. I just put a knife through my own heart.
Chapter 29
Tomás was not having a good game. I sat gripping Mia’s pillow across my chest, burying my face in it and not looking but then having to look. Lucas on the other hand was having a great game and The Russian was pulling his weight too. It was nearing the end of the first half, when one of the opposition’s defenders charged at Tomás, and then found himself charged with violent conduct in return by the referee—justice served. But not before Tomás decided he’d dish out his own justice and went for him. Lucas was there in a flash, pulling Tomás away and he and Lucas had a few words in a bit of a fiery encounter which wasn’t a clever move on Tomás’s behalf either. So not good.
Then Johan pulled Tomás off the ground and substituted him for a brief time to let him cool off. The commentators were discussing why he was off form and the camera cut to him a few times as he sat on the bench unable to keep still; he looked angry, distracted, out of whack.
“The magic of Tomás Carrera is missing today,” one of the commentators said, and I watched as Tomás came back on and Lucas ran up to have a word to him, accompanying him back to the goal area. Tomás rubbed his side, the result of an enormous leap to ward off a ball followed by a crash to the ground. It was unbearable watching. The other team—the Salt Lake Spears—were always tough competitors and while the score was even, today Tomás had not played a major part in that.
“I know it is just a game,” Mia said, “but it is so much more at this level.”
“I hear you,” I agreed. “Tomás needs to chill a bit, he looks so wired.”
They played for another ten minutes or so before the siren went and the players left the field for half-time. Mia and I got up to make tea and then my phone rang. I fished for it in my bag hoping it wasn’t Dane since I was in Tomás mode. I had to will Tomás to have a better second half and hope it reached him through the universe wires. I wondered if Julieta was watching too.
I didn’t recognize the number but thumbed the screen to answer.
“Alice, it’s Lucas.” I heard a slightly breathless voice down the line.
“Lucas?” I looked to Mia, confused. “Are you looking for Mia?”
“No, you,” he said. “I need you to talk to Tomás—he’s super fucking aggressive and distracted and I don’t know what’s going on but The Russian said to tell you he’s calling in the favor. Kiss and make-up, whatever. I’m putting him on.”
“Hold on, Lucas,” I said. “You can’t be serious?”
“Oh, I’m serious. He’s rubbish out there. Take one for the team, Alice and just do it,” he snapped.
I was pissed, who did these guys think they were? I was prepared to do it for The Russian as agreed, but for fuck’s sake, they’re professionals—play the game and get over it.
“Don’t bully me, Lucas,” I said, and drew a deep breath.
Wow, I can’t believe I said that to the Saints’ most valuable asset, especially when I was working for the team too and Lucas could make big trouble for me. But there’s work and there’s after hours and I didn’t like the way he was demanding it. I could see Mia in the background, biting her lower lip. This was the old Lucas that was such an asshole when she first met him.
I heard the cleats on Lucas’s soccer boots tapping on a concrete floor as he paced impatiently. He took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, Alice.” He started again and spoke politely. “As a personal favor to me, as a friend, will you just have a word to him please?”
As a friend? Wow. I guess he was living with my best friend and was in my friend circle.
“Sure,” I said. Who could resist that?
I heard him breathe a sigh of relief. “Thanks Ali,” he said. “Hang on, I’ll get him.”
I heard Lucas’s shoes clap their way up the corridor and he yelled out Tomás’s name. There was the sound of more shoes clacking and I heard Lucas say, “call for you.”
“What?” Tomás sounded confused and then his voice came on the line. “Hello.”
“Tomás, it’s Alice,” I said, breathing out.
“Al...iss, why are you calling me?” He still sounded confused.
“I’m not, you’re calling me.”
“Oh, right.”
I pictured him standing there looking gorgeous in the Saints’ shirt and shorts, sweaty and ruffled.
“Tomás, I need you to come and see me when you come back. I want us to talk.”
“Really?” His voice lifted, and he sounded happy. “That’s great Al...iss, great.”
“So you’ll come over?” I asked, bringing it home.
“I’ll come straight from the plane on Sunday.”
“Mm, shower first,” I teased him and he laughed.
“Thanks, Al...iss,” he said. “I need to see you badly.”
“I miss you,” I answered.
Then Lucas’s voice came down the line. “Thanks Ali, Tomás has to go. See you soon.” He hung up. I put my phone back in my bag.
“What the fuck was all that?” Mia asked, wide-eyed.
I shook my head. “Half-time therapy I think.”
“Was Lucas being an ass?” She narrowed her eyes. The good thing about Mia was she didn’t let him get away with much.
“Only for a moment, but he came around. It’s all good. I think you might have worked wonders with him.” I told her the details.
“I’m glad you stood your ground and I’m glad he respected that,” she said. “You know you’ve just invited Tomás around tomorrow when he gets home?”
I nodded. “I have, haven’t I?” I looked at the clock, and it was after three p.m. “Is it cocktail hour yet?”
“Somewhere,” she agreed and grabbed two wine glasses.
The game started up again and Tomás was different, he had a spring in his step, as though the weight of responsibility and sadness had been lifted off his shoulders. I got it, I felt that too. My heart was feeling lighter, everything seemed a bit brighter, I even felt a bit hungry which I hadn’t felt for almost a week since... you know.
Tomás had a blinder for the rest of the game. He prevented several opponents’ goals and the commentators went berserk.
“The Carrera magic is back,” one of the commentators was saying. “Don’t know what the captain or coach threatened him with at half-time but they should bottle it.”
“The sweeper keeper is in his element... look at that.”
“He’s the commander of the offence, marvelous work.”
“Where was he for the first half... did he have the wrong boots on or something? Because he’s back now.”
“A miraculous save! He makes hard saves look easy.”
I breathed a sigh of relief and guiltily, I was beyond stoked that I could make a difference to his game. I never wanted to do anything that would make him less than perfect ever again.
*****
That night I cooked some Cup Noodles and drank some wine—my diet needed improving since leaving home, so I’d definitely review that on Monday. I decorated my room and it looked fantastic, even if I say so myself. I chose a crystal drop lamp for the corner of the room and a cream color theme with gold trim. So classic, it just looked lush.
Dane rang and I let it go to voicemail; I felt terrible about that, but I just didn’t know what to say at the moment and having a long chat tonight would only make us closer, I was sure. Then my phone pinged with a text from Tomás.
TOMÁS: I love that U called 2day
&
nbsp; ME: Well done on a good game
TOMÁS: Only after I spoke 2 U. I need U Alice
ME: I miss U Tomás, but we’ve got 2 sort some stuff out
TOMÁS: Agreed. I’m not giving up on U, 4 anything or any1
ME: C U 2moro
TOMÁS: We land @ five, I’ll b there by 6.
ME: Sleep well. Ax
TOMÁS: I will now. Tx
I slept the best I had slept since the first day I set eyes on Tomás Carrera. My life was looking brighter. I just hoped that what Tomás could promise would be enough to get us over the line.
Chapter 30
By the time Tomás was due to arrive at my door I was a nervous wreck. I had changed several times and opted for a soft blue dress that went to my knees and slip-ons that I could easily slip off. I was lucky that Cassie wasn’t due home until later tonight, so we’d have some time alone to talk. I clock-watched, estimating when he got on the plane, got off the plane, got on the bus to the club house, got off the bus, got on his bike, got here to the address I had texted him this morning when he woke me early with a morning text. God he was adorable, I could just kill him. Then not long before Tomás was due to arrive, Ryan rang to say Dad was on a date and he’d lost his keys, and could I come and let him in.
Crap, shit, damn it. I looked at the clock. I’d make it there and back in time. I told Ryan I was on my way and I texted Tomás to let him know I was doing a mercy dash and I wouldn’t be long should he arrive and find me missing. I jumped in the car, raced over, let Ryan in and gave him my house keys until he got another set cut and raced back to my new apartment. I realized Ryan’s interruption might be a good thing; I wasn’t sitting at home waiting for the knock at the door now, I was racing to get back for it.
As I ran up the stairs to the front door of Cassie’s and my place, Tomás sat sprawled in the stairway, his back against the wall, his eyes closed. I stopped and took him in—what a beautiful sight. He wore his jeans and a long-sleeved marble grey T-shirt. His leather jacket and helmet sat on the stairs below. He opened his eyes when he heard me and he gave me a slow and very sexy smile. I went up the stairs towards him but he didn’t rise. He turned to face me and pulled me between his legs. He pressed his forehead against my stomach and wove his arms around my waist. It was so damn sexy and vulnerable.
I heard him exhale as if the troubles of the week were leaving him and I ran my hands through his hair, resting them on his shoulders. After a few moments, he looked up and I sidestepped him so he could rise. He stood, grabbed his gear off the step and came up behind me as I unlocked the front door and let us in. His eyes glanced around my new pad and he put his leather jacket and bike helmet down on a chair. Then he returned his focus to me, pulling me closer and leaning down to kiss me. I didn’t want to start here; I wanted to get everything sorted out first, but I could feel him in every part of my being and I just wanted this for a moment. We hadn’t said one word yet and maybe that was the ideal thing.
His tongue slipped into my mouth, gently testing me, and I met it with my own, inviting him to take more of me. Oh God I needed this so badly, and so did he—his grip tightened on me and he made a strangled sound in his throat. Relief coursed through me. When he pulled away, we stared at each other. My eyes were probably desperate and wary and his were pained and so dark and deep.
I cleared my throat. “Why don’t I make us some tea and we can talk?” I managed to say and he nodded.
I went to the kitchen and he sat at a stool opposite me across the bench and watched my every move. Very disconcerting.
“Have you eaten? Are you hungry?” I asked as I placed two cups on the counter.
“Not yet,” he said, “my stomach is a mess.”
“I know what you mean,” I agreed. I grabbed the milk from the fridge and I watched as Tomás moved to the lounge, turned on a lamp and turned off the overhead light. I met him there with our teas and placed them on the coasters on the coffee table. I sat in the middle on one side of Cassie’s L-shaped couch. It was huge, damn her.
I watched his movements. His shoulders were slightly hunched and I could almost hear him thinking as he moved to sit nearer to me, leaning against the arm of the couch.
“Did you find this place easily enough?” I asked, making the small talk that I hated.
He nodded. “I know this area a bit. We’ve trained at a pool not far from here.”
His arms reached for me, resting behind my butt as he slid me closer to him. My legs were entangled with his long legs, so I pulled them free and crossed mine in front, pulling my dress between my legs and sitting to face him.
He swallowed and began. “Al...iss, please hear me out, just until I finish and then you can ask me anything or throw me out or keep me, with luck,” he said with the slightest hint of a smile. God he was beautiful, did I mention that?
I nodded. “I’ll listen,” I promised him. My insides were flipping out with anxiety.
He looked away for a moment then back at me. “I’ve chosen these words very carefully.”
Of course, Spanish was his mother tongue, so no wonder he was tripping up under pressure in the office the other day and I impatiently shut him down.
“Did you have a childhood sweetheart?” he asked me.
I nodded. “Paul Murphy.” I said his name.
Tomás smiled. “Where is he now?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, it was just a silly school thing. We were always associated together and then we moved on.”
“Julieta and I are the same. We met in school and we were boyfriend and girlfriend all through high school. Everyone knew. She was a family friend and a church friend. It was just expected we would be married and produce beautiful bebés,” he said with his fluid accent.
He stopped to reach for my hands. “But you know when we met I told you that I didn’t want any responsibility?”
I nodded.
“Part of that was that I didn’t want any relationship at all, even one from the past. I broke it off before I left home to come here, but she was very upset and asked me to wait and give us some time, that the break might be all we needed. I suggested a year and that we’d talk at the end of my first season. And so, I escaped here—I set up my family so they would not need anything and I had complete freedom from all responsibility. It was great.” He smiled. “I am even more clear after a year that I do not want to marry Julieta or be in that relationship. I came here to start new and find me… I guess is how you would put it. Do you understand so far?”
“I do, but do you feel responsible for Julieta?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No. My family was disappointed that I called it off. I think getting the contract and calling if off at the same time wasn’t the cleverest thing, they thought me arrogant. But it had run its course some time before. She would not be here now except it was a promise I made and I couldn’t after all those years call it off over the phone. She had the flight and told everyone long ago she was coming to talk about moving here. She wanted to see Valentina too and some other friends and family she had here. I was going to deal with it when she came in person, and then I met you. ”
“So now that she is here, how do you feel?” I asked and held my breath. I really only wanted one answer.
“I feel the same. I love Julieta like a sister, a friend, but I don’t love her like a lover. It was such bad timing. I think of it like two waves coming to shore from different directions: Julieta arriving and meeting you, and I didn’t know how to manage either,” he said.
I watched him explaining and thought about his analogy. I understood it.
“Why could you not tell me about her coming and trust in me?” I asked.
“I gave it some thought,” he said, honestly. “But Al...iss, when I met you, I wasn’t ready either. I was just playing casually...”
“Playing the field,” I said.
“Yes, and that required nothing that would distract me from the club and the game. Then I tried not to want you but th
at didn’t work.”
I smiled. He shook his head when he said it, so cute.
“I made a decision to not contact you at all and I didn’t for the first week, but then I couldn’t stop myself because you were driving me crazy, and I sent you a text.”
“I remember,” I said.
“Then there was that college football player around you and I wanted to remove him. So I knew then I had to stop playing casually. And I asked you out and you chose me over him and then I still had the problem of Julieta arriving.”
I nodded, listening attentively. He was so sincere and his eyes were trying to read me as he told me how it unfolded. I believed every word.
“I thought if I told you, you would drop me and go back to college guy and if I didn’t tell you, I might be able to just manage it so that Julieta returned home and was not in our lives at all. I wanted us to be about the future, not all that I’ve left behind. I’m sorry if that doesn’t make sense.”
“I get the bigger picture now,” I said. “But I was devastated, Tomás, when I saw you and her together at the jazz bar. How would you have felt if you saw me all over Finn?”
“I would have killed him,” he said, sincerely. “Are you seeing the conference guy who sent those flowers?”
“I saw him Friday night, and we went dancing. Nothing happened. I didn’t invite him in,” I said. I wanted to be completely honest. “Even though you are still living with your girlfriend,” I reminded him.
Tomás rose and paced, and he looked pissed off.
“She’s an ex-girlfriend. Did he kiss you?”
“Does it matter?”
“Hell yes, Al...iss,” he said, and spun around to face me.
“Have you slept with Julieta?” I asked. Then I covered my ears, rose quickly and went behind the couch. “Actually don’t answer that, because I’m not sure I could cope with the answer.”
He strode over and pulled me to him. “I have told Julieta that we are over. She is staying in my house in the guest room until Wednesday when she flies back home. It hasn’t been easy for her, I think she thought I would propose when she came over,” he said, with a sigh. “It’s an awful thing to hurt someone.”
