“Will do. I promise. I, uh, I miss you, Hayley,” Tony said. “I’m glad you’re coming home.”
There it was again, the hitch in Tony’s voice coupled with hidden longing she’d convinced herself was her vivid imagination playing tricks on her. They had a professional relationship but lately Tony seemed to be hinting at more. It wasn’t even an option. She didn’t think about him in that way. He was her agent, but he’d also become a good friend. In a world where trust didn’t come easy, Tony was her rock in many ways.
“I guess, I’ll see you soon then,” she said.
“Can’t wait, beautiful. And do me a giant favor. Keep looking over your shoulder. Bodyguard or no bodyguard, I don’t want to lose you.”
“No,” she said quietly. “You won’t lose me.”
After she hung up, she stared at the phone for a few moments, an uneasy feeling sweeping over her. She shook it off, crossed her arms over her chest, and strode into the parlor, murmuring, “Don’t be ridiculous, Hayley Dawn.”
“You say something, darlin’?” Code sat on the floor, his legs stretched out. The fireplace crackled bringing warmth into the room and bathing the parlor in soft light.
How quickly she put work out of her mind. The scene before her gave her amnesia to anything related to the life she had waiting for her in California. She’d tell him about the fan mail news later. “Nothing important, Code.”
“Come here, sit by the fire, and warm up.”
Without hesitation, she strode over to him and plopped down. How easily his arms found her shoulders and pulled her in. She fit with him. Cradled against his chest and staring at the flames billowing up, her view of heaven was in a broken down cabin on a cold spring night, without heat and luxury, in the arms of an amazing man. “This is nice.”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice a low rasp.
She turned her head into his body and his hands went to her hair. He singled out strands, playing with the locks, tenderly weaving his fingers through. It didn’t get any better than this. If only they could stop time and live in this moment. But that wasn’t possible and it hurt her heart to think so.
“What would you like to do tonight?” he asked quietly.
She chewed on her lip before answering. “Is it too boring just to be here like this?”
“No, it’s not boring, sweetheart.” He drew her closer into his arms as if she was his, really his and he wasn’t letting go.
She smiled. “That’s good. I don’t want to think tonight.”
“Me either.” And then he tipped her chin and brought his mouth down on hers in an exquisite kiss.
And, hours later, Code made love to her on the floor beside the fire. There was no need to speak of their last night together, to say words that would flitter away as easily as the quick snap of the flames. There was no need to express their feelings out loud. The urgency in which they made love gave way to their desperation, their unbridled, no holds barred passion. It was the best of the best, the saddest of the saddest, the most extreme high and a low that wrecked her heart. She was sure Code’s emotions matched her own. They would never be alone like this again, out of the spotlight, away from assessing eyes, away from danger, away from real life.
She would forever remember this night and hold it dear to her heart.
Code was all man, her protector, and, she hoped, a friend. There would be no platitudes from Code. He wouldn’t put a happy face on their parting ways. This night was all they had left of their date and tomorrow, reality would sink in. No more playing house or riding horses or cooking and burning meals, no more late night make-out sessions.
And when Code brought her to the brink and she cried out his name, he, too, cried out, a moan that tore from his lips and wracked his body. It was thrilling to bring him such pleasure and before they would both languish beside the dying embers of the fire, Code scooped her up and carried her into his bedroom.
He set her down like a precious gem and joined her, the mattress giving a bounce and a squeak before his took her back into his arms and kissed her soundly. “Sleep with me, sweetheart,” he murmured and she curled her body into his, the covers up to her chin. “I’ll keep you warm all night.”
Chapter Seven
Code pulled the car up to Hayley’s grandmother’s house at precisely five in the afternoon. Their ruse, otherwise known as her bachelor auction date, which would go down as the best four days of her life, was over. The engine idled on the driveway and they sat in the car, neither one of them moving a muscle.
She stared at Code’s profile, noting a tick working at his jaw. His focus was aimed straight ahead, his body rigid, his grip still on the steering wheel. If he asked her to get out of the car, she might very well lose it.
Finally, he took his hands off the wheel and rubbed his palms over his pants a few times. She held her breath. She didn’t have any answers. But she knew one thing, she didn’t want whatever they had to end. Not now, not like this. She couldn’t get out of the car and pretend that nothing monumental hadn’t happened between them over the long weekend.
He turned toward her, his eyes grim. One arm stretched out to rest on the back of her seat. “Listen,” he began, “I don’t open up to people. I don’t usually talk about my past, or my troubles.”
“But in this case, you will?” She squeaked.
His beautiful lips formed a thin line and he nodded. “Yes, because this weekend meant something special to me. You mean something special to me. And I want you to know this. So you’ll understand.”
“Code, I told you I’d be here to listen and I’m listening now. You want to go inside and talk?”
“No, right here is fine.”
He sounded almost desperate. As if, given more time or a change in location, may make him balk. He couldn’t balk. She wanted to hear what he had to say. Very badly. “Okay. Go on.”
“I had this client in Dallas. Her name was Tori Lancaster. She hooked up with a bad dude, but she didn’t know it at the time. I’m talking hardcore drug king and all that goes with it, but the thing is, this guy looked the part of a successful businessman. At least that’s the side he showed the world. Tori was a single mom, and, who knows, she may have thought this guy was ‘the one.’ He said all the right things. Did all the right things. Things got serious between them and he began to let his guard down. He let her get a little too close. Tori was a smart woman, and she’d overhear things. It wasn’t long after that, she’d figured out this guy was a criminal. To give you an abbreviated version, she walked out on him giving him some lame excuse as to the breakup. Of course, he didn’t buy it. He figured she knew too much and didn’t trust her to keep her mouth shut. He began threatening her. She was real scared, because she knew what he was capable of.”
“Did she go to the police?”
“She did. They offered to look into it for her. She really didn’t have anything concrete enough to land the guy in prison. He was too smart to get his own hands dirty. That’s when she hired us on. I ended up practically moving in with her as her bodyguard. She told her six-year-old daughter, I was her uncle. The kid actually called me Uncle Cody, if you can believe that. Tori was making plans to move across the country. I was only going to be there three, maybe four weeks. But the thing was, Tori and I, hit it off immediately. I was the anti-creep, the man she could trust, the guy who would protect her, and, well, I fell for all of it. Sometimes it felt like Tori, Makenna, and I were a family. I got suckered in by a cute kid and a beautiful woman. I let my guard down because I got heavily involved.”
Hayley bit back jealousy. Now was not the time, but it stung like crazy, hearing Cody’s affection for another woman. “How long ago was this?”
“Six months.”
“And what happened?”
“Tori died. Hit and run accident, but we all know it was murder.”
She gasped, her hand rising to her throat. “That’s awful and terribly sad. But I don’t get it. If you were with her all the time, how—”
The lo
ok on his face, the pain in his eyes stopped her from asking the question.
He sighed from deep in his throat and continued. “She got a call that day about a bomb scare at Makenna’s school. She panicked and took off on foot. The school was only three blocks away.”
Code ran a hand down his mouth. For the longest time, he was quiet. She didn’t press. She knew how hard this was for him. And finally, “The night before, Makenna dropped her tea set and all the little cups shattered onto the floor. The kid was devastated and cried her eyes out.”
“And you were going to surprise her with a new set?”
He nodded. “Tori’s neighbor was visiting that day and I knew she was safe. I’d only be thirty minutes. I made her promise not to go anywhere.”
“But once she got the call about her daughter possibly being in danger, she couldn’t wait,” Hayley added, stating the obvious.
“That’s right. The call was bogus, but she didn’t know it. They were waiting for her and someone ran her over on the street going sixty miles an hour.” Code couldn’t look her in the eyes and it killed her to hear the condemnation in his voice. “I’m responsible, Hayley.” He stared out the car windshield. “Her death is on me, no matter how anyone tries to spin it.”
“I don’t see it that way, Code. The woman knew she was in danger, she knew—”
“No. Don’t make excuses for me.”
“But Code, you’d warned her. One phone call to the school to verify the truth was all she needed to do.”
“It was her kid, Hayley. Her nerves were shot. She probably wasn’t thinking about anything but getting there quickly. No, the truth is, Tori didn’t need a do-gooder trying to put a smile on her daughter’s face. She needed protection. I got too involved and failed her. Now, Makenna has no mother.”
“What happened to the child?”
“She went to live with her aunt in Georgia.”
Beats of silence went by. One, two, three. No one moved. Four five, six. No one reached for the door handle. Seven, eight, nine.
And then Hayley spoke up. “So where does that leave us?”
“Us?” He began shaking his head. “We, uh, made a deal about the weekend, sweetheart. And now it’s over.”
“I see.” They were only two words, but she couldn’t hide her injury from his rejection.
She promised herself she would let Code go when the weekend was over. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t allow herself to be hurt again. He was bound to walk away. And she should’ve known better. Usually, she was the first one to walk away. That was her MO. It was her defense. Her protection. But it was killing her inside to think this was over.
Despite trying to hold them back, tears welled in her eyes at her deep sense of loss. Suddenly, she was that little girl again; being told her parents couldn’t make her birthday party. Something had come up—something very important, much more important than the child they’d conceived. The child that had hoped and prayed and cried for them to give her love.
She understood Code’s reluctance, she really did, but what they had was powerful and strong. She felt it in her bones. Together, they could overcome any obstacles that would come up, but he was unwilling to give them a chance.
Code began speaking again. “I’m not ready for even the simplest involvement.” His face softened and it was clear to her what he meant.
“And I’m a whole lot of complicated.”
“You don’t live in Marietta, for starters.”
“And you’re not living, period,” she said quietly.
And suddenly there wasn’t much else to say. She was dealing with a man who couldn’t open his heart, a man who was still reeling through feelings of guilt and remorse. He was blaming himself for a death that wasn’t his fault, and closing himself off to the world both professionally and personally. He was torturing himself and hurting so badly, he couldn’t see straight. He deserved better, because…because, damn it. She loved him. Good God, now was not the time to realize she was hopelessly and foolishly in love with Cody Matthews. It wasn’t a passing fancy, or a crazy, wild fascination. From deep down in her soul, she knew it was stronger than that. It was the sort of love she couldn’t escape. The kind of forever love that made her think of homelife and babies.
“Hayley.”
“Code, I’d better go. The weekend, well, it was wonderful.”
He’d taught her so many things over the past few days. He’d given her lessons on shooting and riding and helped her master some finer points of lovemaking. Oh, man. These feelings she had, they weren’t good. They could easily wreck her heart. Loving Code put a whole new slant on things. Painful as it was, she needed time to think.
To feel. To talk herself out of it.
As if.
She gave him half a smile before getting out of the car and starting for the house.
“Shit, Hayley.” He climbed out of his seat. “Don’t go into the house without me.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said, her prideful bravado doing all the talking, yet her heart was pounding hard against her chest. She put the key in the lock gave it half a turn just as an arm snaked around her and a strong hand stopped her from fully turning the knob.
“You can’t go inside yet,” Code said, his big body blocking the doorway.
“Why not? We’ve said all there is to say to each other.”
“Hardly, darlin’. Did you forget the house is alarmed now?”
Alarmed? Oh, crap. She did forget. Code had a security team come by and set it all up while they were gone.
She shrugged. “Yeah, I forgot.”
“Give me the key.”
She handed it over and he promptly opened the door and stepped inside. An alarm went off, the shrill ringing subdued only by Code entering a few numbers into a keypad that had miraculously shown up on the parlor wall. “You know how these things work, right?”
“Yes, I have an alarm system in my home.”
He nodded and gave her a five minute drill anyway, on how to alarm the house. Every window and door was involved and when he was through, he still made a thorough check of all the rooms.
Then he stood by the front door and stared at her. She stared back. Was it that easy for him to walk away? Even though they’d made a deal about the weekend, could he really shut down his feelings so quickly?
Apparently so.
“Okay, well,” he said. “It looks like you’re set. You should be safe now. The alarm goes directly to the company’s security command center. If the alarm sounds and you don’t respond with the correct code, they’ll send a unit right out.”
“Got it.”
He gazed deeply into her eyes. “If you need anything else, give me a call.”
So formal now. Three feet separated them. She couldn’t take it if he came any closer, if he tried to touch her or kiss her goodbye. “I’ll be fine.”
“I almost forgot your luggage,” he said, backing up toward the front door.
It was the perfect escape. For him. For her.
“Just leave it on the doorstep.”
“I can bring it in.”
“No,” she said, following him to the door. “The doorstep is fine. Thank you.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” His lips twisted and he gave a shake of his head before he stepped out of the house.
She closed the door behind him and the relief she expected didn’t come.
But overwhelming grief did. And it hurt like hell.
*
Code needed comfort food this morning and only a frosted, sugary cinnamon roll and rich black coffee from the bakery would do. He needed to resign himself to his new normal and the hell of it was, he’d been doing a lot of that lately this past year. But especially now, his new normal was life without Hayley Dawn in it.
Yet, he couldn’t stop himself from driving down her street right now on his way to the bakery. He slowed his car as he passed the house, his eyes peeled for any sign of trouble in the yard or at the front door or down the
street. He’d done the same last night, too. It was the least he could do for her, to double check on things, since he’d left her yesterday with pain in her eyes and false bravado in her voice as they ended their date.
Last night, as he tried to sleep, Hayley’s sullen face had haunted him for hours. He’d hurt her and he hated himself for that. Yet, he’d explained his situation to her and all the agonizing details of his failure to make her understand. He’d bared his soul and allowed her in. To see his guilt. To witness his defeat. He wasn’t a good prospect for her. She wasn’t, for him. She was bound to leave and head home to her real life in a couple of weeks. And then where would he be? It was clear they had no future together. What they had was only a weekend fling.
Then why are you driving by her house, hoping like hell to catch a glimpse of her?
“To keep her safe,” he muttered, craning his neck, going five miles an hour until her house became a distant memory. His breath shuddered in and out on a sigh of disappointment.
A few minutes later, he entered the Copper Mountain Gingerbread and Dessert Factory as pleasant sounding chimes announced his arrival. Bakery smells of sugar and vanilla and flour fixed his sour mood. But no more than when Mindy Sue, dressed in pink with a polka-dotted apron, lifted her head from behind the counter, giving him a giant-sized smile. “Codeeeee!”
Bounding around the bakery case, she flew into his arms. “Mindy Sue, honey. It’s good to see you.”
She fit under his chin and he hugged her tight, her small frame buoyed by a childlike spirit that always put a smile on his face.
“It’s g-good to see you, too.” She had a smattering of freckles and wore her long brown hair back in a ponytail most of the time.
“How’ve you been these days?”
She broke away from him. “Good…good. No complaints, as Aunt Violet likes to say.”
Funny, but fussy-minded Violet Benedict didn’t strike him as a woman of few complaints, yet she was wonderful with Mindy Sue and loved her to pieces. Enough said.
“Having no complaints is a very good thing.”
The door chimed again and their heads swiveled in that direction. A young man entered the shop, his hair tucked under a big ole white cowboy hat. He wore boots and jeans and didn’t appear all too different from Cody right now, except for the big goofy grin on his face. He dipped his head, his gaze fastened solely on the young lady in front of him. “Hi, Mindy Sue.”
Bachelor for Hire (Bachelor Auction #1) Page 11
