I felt pretty silly when I found out that he lived in New York. This whole time, I assumed that he was still in Northfield! I should’ve looked at his website, at least. I hope I didn’t say something offensive, since I assumed he was more into small-time jobs. I’ll have to ask him about his work later, once the fundraiser is over.
Speaking of which, I’d better get back. We won’t be opening for another 20 minutes, but you know how HHHA ladies are; always getting places half an hour early.
Gratitudes:
I am grateful that the party is today, because tonight it will be over.
Text Messages, December 24
Lisa
hey can you let me in
Lisa
i’m at the side entrance
Crystal
??
Crystal
i’m in northfield this week
Crystal
are you trying to text someone else?
Lisa
no i’m here for the HHHA party
Lisa
nevermind someone else let me in
Crystal
????
Crystal
i thought you were doing the fontana christmas?
Lisa
yeah tomorrow
Lisa
today i’m cleaning up your mess
Crystal
:(
Crystal
i can’t believe you flew all the way out here without telling me
Lisa
i’d like to be in and out before mom sees me if possible
Lisa
where’s adam?
Crystal
i told you i haven’t seen him
Lisa
we tracked him here
Crystal
you can track him?
Lisa
sort of…it’s complicated
Crystal
so he’s here RIGHT NOW?
Lisa
possibly
Crystal
how can you be so calm?
Crystal
shouldn’t we evacuate or something?
Lisa
no it’s fine
Lisa
we’re doing a perimeter check
Lisa
so stay put
Lisa
where are you?
Crystal
at the table by the flagpole
Crystal
they’re about to start the presentation
Crystal
lisa?
Crystal
OMG
Crystal
YOU CAN’T SIT THERE
Lisa
you don’t have to shout i’m sitting right next to you
Crystal
but THERE MIGHT BE A KILLER ROBOT ON THE LOOSE
Lisa
relax boople has an ironclad extraction protocol
Lisa
and adam can’t kill anyone it’s against his programming
Crystal
that’s what they always say in movies WHERE EVERYONE DIES
Crystal
lisa?
Crystal
why are you ignoring me?
Crystal
and why do we have to text?
Lisa
because it’s rude to talk during a performance
Crystal
WAIT
Crystal
OMG are you PREGNANT?
Lisa
no i just gained 40 pounds since i saw you last
Lisa
of course i’m pregnant
Lisa
stop gaping we have to keep this a secret from mom, remember?
Crystal
boy or girl?
Lisa
both
Crystal
are you trying to be socially progressive or do you mean twins?
Lisa
twins
Crystal
congrats!!!!!!! :D :D :D
Lisa
seriously stop staring
Lisa
for the record i’m still mad at you
Crystal
yeah but at least we’re having a conversation again :)
Lisa
this is just a temporary truce for the HHHA party
Lisa
because it’s your fault i had to come all the way out here
Crystal
OMG so all those times you were going to the dentist
Crystal
YOU WEREN’T GOING TO THE DENTIST
Lisa
well i couldn’t exactly say i was going to the OBGYN every other week
Lisa
mom would’ve figured it out
Crystal
did you plan this?
Lisa
the kids?
Crystal
of course the kids
Lisa
yes and no
Lisa
we were trying for a year before the miscarriage
Lisa
but this was a bit of a shocker
Lisa
you know how mom is
Lisa
we didn’t want her to get all excited and then put her through the heartbreak again
Lisa
and if it did work out, she’d want to come visit all the time
Crystal
might be a little hard to avoid that now
Crystal
you’re as big as a whale
Lisa
says the girl dressed like a marshmallow
Crystal
shut up i’m from southern california
Crystal
i have every right to wear my puffer coat indoors
Crystal
it’s like minus four outside
Lisa
celsius maybe
Crystal
that’s not the point
Crystal
OMG is that grace and alice
Crystal
dear god it’s a mother-daughter tap dance
Crystal
lisa you’re missing it
Crystal
look at the stage!!!
Crystal
oh nooooo alice just tripped over a speaker cord!!!!
Crystal
liiiiiissssaaaaaa
Crystal
loooooooooook
Lisa
he’s here
Crystal
what?
Lisa
adam just arrived on his motorcycle
Crystal
his motorcycle?
Crystal
he DROVE here?
Lisa
paul’s going to try to calm him down
Crystal
who’s paul?
Lisa
dr. paul devereux
Lisa
he’s an AI psychologist, and adam’s handler
Crystal
english please
Lisa
crap it’s not working
Lisa
adam’s heading our way
Crystal
hey lisa
Crystal
i think that’s him
Crystal
the guy beelining for the stage
Crystal
lisa????
Lisa
paul’s switching to plan b
Crystal
???
Lisa
he’s going to tell adam he’s an android
Crystal
0_o
Crystal
we’re doomed
Boople Smart Companion Adam Devereux, Log 000942, 12/24 20:22:03
Margot
Adam?
Adam
Margot, I—
Margot
Hang on. Rosalie, can you take the headset for a moment?
Rosalie
Is that—?
Margot
Thanks, Rosalie.
[SHUFFLING NOISES]
Margot
Alright, Adam
. I’ve got five minutes. Hmm, make that four and a half.
Adam
Margot, I’ve been such a fool. I thought about what you said, and you’re right. I was holding back, and I wasn’t clear enough about how I feel. So I got on my bike and I drove straight here to tell you.
Margot
You drove from San Diego?
Adam
Yes, I can explain later. But right now, I need you to know how much I care about you. Before I met you, I tried to convince myself that loneliness was a fact of life, and that I should just accept it. But then I met you, and you were like a shining beacon of light, giving me a reason to jump out of bed every morning. Each day was a new adventure, and I counted the minutes until we saw each other again. When you told me that it was over, I couldn’t understand it. And I’ve been thinking about what you said the whole way here, and I want to make it right.
Margot
Adam…
Adam
I want to be by your side, Margot, however you’ll have me. If you want to be friends for now, that’s fine. But I hope that someday, you might feel the same way that I do. I just can’t let you go without a fight. Won’t you give me a chance, Margot?
Margot
[EXHALES] I’ve treasured the time we’ve spent together, Adam. We’ve had a great run, but I think it’s time that we both admit that we’re better off as friends. I still care about you, but I can’t return your feelings. I truly appreciate you coming out here. That was incredibly courageous, and I’m so sorry, but it’s just not going to work.
[SHUFFLING NOISES]
Paul
Adam? Can I speak with you?
Margot
Excuse me, but we’re having a private conversation.
Adam
Dad? What are you doing here?
Margot
“Dad?”
Paul
Adam, there’s something I need to tell you.
[END TRANSCRIPT]
Crystal’s Journal, December 25
I’m on a plane, flying back to San Diego. The HHHA fundraiser was a disaster. It all started shortly after Lisa arrived.
She decided to fly out (in secret) with her colleague, Dr. Paul Devereux, who is also Adam’s handler. Apparently they couldn’t bring in a normal extraction team, because, as Lisa put it, I “bungled the whole thing up” and “made a fine mess of it.” I still think it had something to do with the fact that Adam believed he was a human, because that definitely complicates things. But this didn’t seem like the time to bring it up.
So Lisa and Paul had come to somehow extract Adam, since they’d used a variety of methods to track him here to Northfield. Paul tried to intercept Adam when he pulled up outside on his motorcycle (after driving it all the way from San Diego), but Adam didn’t see him and beat Paul inside.
Lisa and I were having a nice little chat while watching the ridiculously cheesy commemorative video and accompanying mother-daughter tap dance routine (courtesy of Grace and Alice), when Adam burst in. He didn’t interrupt the show, thankfully, but he went straight backstage to talk with Mom.
And I was pretty sure at this point that it wouldn’t end well, but Adam looked more determined than murderous, which was a small consolation. So I tried to convince Lisa that we should go backstage to make sure Mom’s okay, but she said that Paul was on it and if we went now, in the middle of the commemorative video, it might make a scene.
And then we started arguing, because I happened to mention that it looked like she wanted to sit tight just to avoid Mom, on account of the whole “let’s keep Lisa’s pregnancy a secret” thing. And then Lisa was like, “No it’s because if Mom sees me like this she’ll probably have a meltdown,” and then I was like, “But she’ll have a meltdown anyway,”…so yeah. It wasn’t pretty.
Eventually Lisa finally admitted that there was a good reason that she didn’t want Mom to know about the pregnancy, and it wasn’t just about the miscarriage. “I’m afraid,” she said. “I don’t want to turn into her.” And when I saw the look in her eyes, I understood immediately.
To be honest, it’s something I’m afraid of every day. If I laugh a certain way or find myself using one of Mom’s cheesy phrases, I realize just how much I’m like her, and it terrifies me to think of what else I might’ve absorbed, without even knowing it. And no matter how hard I try, she’s always going to be a part of me, even some of the uglier parts.
But then I told Lisa that she shouldn’t be afraid of turning into Mom, because she’s her own person. And the best part about being a daughter is that you don’t just absorb the bad parts, you get the good ones, too. Lisa’s got Mom’s determination, and she really cares about other people, just like Mom. I reminded Lisa that she turned out pretty well, so her kids probably will, too.
I think something clicked then for her, because Lisa said we should go backstage and find Mom. She thought we should be there to support her, because whatever happened next was bound to be rough. Mom was almost guaranteed to have a meltdown, but it was our fault (well, mostly mine, unfortunately), and it was time that we faced it – together.
The commemorative video finally finished, so we wove through the tables during the applause. As Lisa and I made our way backstage, I couldn’t help but notice Grace and Alice near the stage stairs, having a hushed argument. I wasn’t close enough to hear it, but I heard a sob, and saw Alice rushing away. I glued my eyes to the floor before Grace could see me gawking, but I did catch a glimpse of her expression, and she looked exhausted – and about five years older than I remembered.
Lisa and I arrived backstage and saw Paul and Mom and Adam standing there, and Mom and Adam had the strangest expressions on their faces.
“He’s a what?” asked Mom, sounding more confused than shocked.
“He’s an android,” said Paul.
Adam’s face was pale, and he was frozen in place.
Then Mom asked Paul if he had been drinking, and he tried to explain that he hadn’t, and that he’s an AI psychologist with Boople. He got out his business card and told Mom about the Smart Companion program.
Mom’s face twitched, and then she said, “Does this have something to do with Lisa?”
And then Lisa skulked out from behind me, and Mom’s eyes fell to her belly, and she murmured, “Don’t tell me you’re pregnant...”
Lisa nodded morosely, and then Mom hunched over, and she made this horrifying noise, possibly laughter or sobbing, or somewhere in the middle. Lisa and I just stood there, watching, waiting for The Meltdown, because there was no avoiding it. Any minute now, Mom was going to tell us that we were ungrateful and selfish. She was going to say that she didn’t want to be “handled” and that we should’ve treated her with more respect. And the worst part was, this time, she’d be absolutely right. We’d gone too far.
But after a few moments, Mom looked up at Lisa and asked if Paul was telling the truth. But before Lisa could explain, I said that it was all my fault. I tried to tell her how sorry I was, and that Mom had said how she just wanted someone to be her companion, so when Lisa needed people to test their robots, it seemed like a good fit. And how it was really a terrible idea in retrospect, and how I was such an idiot…
Mom just listened, and she had this strange look on her face. Peaceful, almost. I’ve only seen her look that stoic a few times in my life, like the time we had to put our dog to sleep. And I was sure that she was going to tell us that she was done with all of us, with everything, and that we should all leave her alone. But she didn’t. Instead, she said, “Well that explains a few things.”
The look on Adam’s face was heartbreaking. He shook his head, and then started shivering. “It’s not true,” he said. “I’m human.”
I feel awful just thinking about it.
Paul walked over to Adam, and gently rolled up Adam’s sleeve. Paul took a metal device out of his pocket and shined a light on Adam’s arm. Paul put the device away and then, seconds later, a barcode and an alphanumeric code appe
ared beneath Adam’s skin, as if lit from below.
Adam stared at his arm as if he didn’t recognize it. Gone was the calm, grounded Adam we all knew. In his place was a frightened little boy, his eyes wide with fear.
Paul put a hand on Adam’s shoulder, trying to gently lead him away. But then Margot was there, embracing him, and he sunk against her, sobs wracking his body.
Mom held Adam in her arms, a man twice her size who once seemed so strong, and invincible. I glanced at Lisa, but she was hanging her head in shame, feeling just as guilty as I did. Because both of us came into this preparing for a fight, readying our defenses against some imaginary meltdown. We assumed that Mom had reached her breaking point, and that she would crack under the pressure.
And yet here she was, finding strength from some invisible well, to support a man who was having the worst day of his life. Lisa and I had been so caught up worrying about our own guilt and our own punishments. Mom had every reason to be furious and hurt and betrayed, but instead she made herself a rock for Adam, whose entire world had just been shattered.
It’s been so easy to complain about Mom and poke fun, but no matter how frustrating it was to be with her, Mom’s intentions have always been pure. She might have been overbearing or lonely or desperate, but that happens to the best of us.
I thought I could “fix” her by providing a companion. I lied to her and treated her like a child who had a problem to be solved, when all along, she was a much stronger woman than I had ever realized.
I don’t know how long I stayed there, but at some point I came to my senses and realized that I had to get out of there. I stumbled out of the fundraiser, and caught a taxi to the airport. Now I’m on a plane headed for home, or at least the place I’ll sleep for tonight, since I’m moving out of Mom’s apartment as soon as possible. I’m not sure what happens next, but I’ve got a few ideas. I don’t think I can face Mom again for awhile, and I’m not even sure how I’ll begin to apologize. But I guess I’ve got some time.
What I do know is that I’m done lying. It’s brought me nothing but trouble, and it’s time that I come clean. Not just with Mom, but with David, too. I know it’s a risk and I could lose him, but to be honest, he’s been gone a long time, and I want to make sure that if we do get back together, we’re starting off on the right foot.
Mom's Perfect Boyfriend Page 19
