by Thorn, Ava
"I can't." She stood up from the table and gathered their dishes.
"Why not?" He stood up from the table and took the dishes from her.
"Because we had sex, and my opinion could be biased," she said, looking at him. "I want to hear your thoughts," he said.
"Fine." She threw the dishrag on the table. "You guys would be husband and wife. I think you guys should have talked about the issue of sharing a life together. How many kids you want, religion—those questions are major due to the fact that you guys are going to spend the rest of y'all's lives together."
"Do you feel like I'm making a big mistake with her?" he asked.
"What do you think? Do you feel like you're making a poor decision?" she asked him.
"I hate when you do that, Farrah." He glowered at her. "You always answer a question with a question."
"No, Austin." She pointed her finger at him. "You want me to sit up here and tell you that you're making the worst decision of your life, and I can't do that." When he didn't say anything, she continued. "I can't save you from the choices that you make. You have to go to sleep with her at night. I don't." She turned away from him, picked up the dishrag, and finished washing the dishes in the sink.
***
Austin was trying to hide his disappointment. He wanted Farrah to tell him not to marry Rebecca. Lately things hadn't been right between them, and he had chalked it up to wedding jitters. But the truth of the matter was he was beginning to realize that Rebecca didn't make him happy. He couldn't picture himself marrying her and having kids with her. He looked over at Farrah, who was washing dishes. She would make an excellent wife and mother to some lucky man.
He stood there watching her as his mind replayed their lovemaking last night. When he was around Farrah, he felt like he could be himself, the silly country boy. He didn't always want to be the famous rich country music singer every day of the week. For once, he was just enjoying himself in the company of a beautiful woman who didn't see the money or the fame when she looked at him. When Farrah looked at him, he knew she saw just Austin McBride and not Austin McBride the singer. She made him feel wanted every time she looked into his eyes. Farrah was the woman he was meant to be with.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, looking at him strangely. "Huh?" he said.
"You were staring off in space." She laughed. "I think there was even drool running down your mouth," she teased.
"I was thinking," he said, smiling.
"About?" she asked.
"We could have a cooking lesson today." He waggled his eyebrows at her.
"A cooking lesson?" She stood against the counter, looking at him. "Okay. Why don't you show me what you can do in the kitchen?"
"I thought I already told you that I can only boil water."
Farrah shook her head in pity. "So your mom didn't teach you how to cook?"
"I was the outside type. Never was interested in what was going on inside the house. My momma used to always say I better marry someone who could cook." He chuckled.
"You didn't need to do that." She smiled. "Instead, you became this big country music singer who can afford a chef."
"Yeah, but there is nothing wrong with coming home to your wife cooking a meal that she made with love," he said.
"You don't have to cook a four-course meal to make your significant other happy," she said, leaving him in the kitchen.
"If I could cook for you, what would you want me to make?" he asked, following right behind her.
"I'd take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich," she said.
"Nice pick," he said. "If you play your cards right, I just might surprise you with a PB&J sandwich."
"I actually only chose that because it was less risk for us to get food poisoning." She laughed.
"Really." He stepped closer to her, smiling when her breathing hitched. "I'll cook lunch, and you cook dinner," he said with his mouth inches from hers.
"Who said we're going to be here for dinner?" she said, looking at his lips.
"Listen," he said. Rain drops beat down on the roof; the wind was blowing hard. They would definitely be here for dinner. "The rain will let up sometime overnight."
"I'll cook dinner if you keep your hands to yourself," she said and moved away from him.
He pulled her back to him and pinned her against the wall. He kissed her slowly until she was pushing at his chest. He looked into her brown eyes that were filled with desire. "You never said mouth," he said breathlessly.
"Let me amend my statement for you. I will cook dinner if you keep your hands, mouth, and genitals to yourself," she said before walking into the bathroom.
Austin couldn't help but laugh at Farrah. He saw how she was trying to keep her distance from him. For a split second when he kissed her, he'd seen vulnerability in her eyes. Farrah appeared to have barriers surrounding her. He wondered if she ever allowed anyone to get close to her.
Chapter Six
Austin sat in the recording studio going over two new songs that he wrote after his time with Farrah. For the past two days, she had avoided him, but he told himself to give her some space for now. Austin listened to the track he'd just recorded; the song was about a woman leaving a man who loved her and wanted her back.
"Girl I want you
"I need you back in my life
"This life is lonely without you."
"Damn, man, what has gotten into you?" Julius said, nodding his head to the beat of the song.
Love, Austin thought to himself. He was in love with Farrah. "Sounds good?" Austin asked his producer and friend.
"Boy, you haven't recorded shit like this in a while."
Austin leaned back in the chair as he listened to his friend ribbing him about the track. "You're writing about love, something you haven't done in a long time," Julius said.
Austin wrote the song for Farrah. He replayed in his mind the night at Lake Lewisville when they made love.
"I'm leaving for today, but I'll be back with more work." Austin stood up and shook hands with the sound engineers. "Don't forget about the cookout on Friday."
"We got ya," Julius yelled out.
***
Farrah enjoyed the time at the lake with Austin, but she had to be real with herself and him. She couldn't allow herself to cater the wedding knowing full well that she had slept with the bride's future husband. It was best if she returned the deposit and resigned from the wedding. The last thing she ever wanted to do was come between two people who were in love.
That was why she had made the decision to see Rebecca today. She knew that Austin wouldn't allow her to quit, but she was determined. Maybe Rebecca would accept the resignation letter since she never really wanted Southern Rose Eatery to cater her wedding in the first place. It should be a win-win situation for the both of them.
Farrah sat in a chair across from Rebecca. She looked around the room, which was decorated in all white.
She had been sitting there for exactly thirty minutes waiting for Rebecca to talk to her, but instead the woman and an older version of her that Farrah presumed was Rebecca's mother were ohhing and ahhing over china and wedding patterns.
"I'm not going to be able to cater your wedding." Farrah took a breath as Rebecca's blue eyes narrowed on her.
"My fiancé wants your restaurant to cater it, and what Austin McBride wants, he eventually gets." Rebecca dismissed Farrah with a slight wave of her hand as she continued talking to her mother.
Farrah started to say something when the man she had been avoiding for the past two days walked into the room. Deciding that she wasn't going to get anywhere with Rebecca, she stood up and left.
"Hello, Mr. McBride," Farrah said as she walked out of the room.
***
Austin watched as Farrah left. "Did she drop off the menus?"
"No, she brought over some funky resignation letter, but I told her that you wanted that ungodly food, so I didn't accept it."
"I'm going to see what that is all
about." Austin practically ran out of the house to catch up with Farrah before she made it to her car.
"Not now, McBride," Farrah said as she walked towards her car.
"I had this feeling that you were going to do that." He smirked.
Farrah stopped dead in her tracks and turned to look at him. "I'm not a slut or home wrecker," she said through clenched teeth and opened her car door.
"When I look at you, I just want to hold you in my arms." Austin had to stop himself from reaching out to her.
"Well, I will hire a manager to see to your wedding, so this will be our last time seeing each other," she snapped.
"Farrah," he said, but Farrah wasn't hearing anything from him. He watched her jump inside her car and speed down the dirt road away from him.
***
Rebecca's mother, Gwen Stephens, stood at the window watching Austin and Farrah. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say it looked like a lovers' quarrel was going on out there between the chef and the country singer."
She looked at Rebecca, who didn't pay her any mind. "Rebecca, dear, how well do you know the lovely chef?" Gwen said as she stared out of the window.
"Austin was fascinated by the woman's culinary skills at a wedding we went to," Rebeca said as she went over some color patterns for the wedding.
"He looks very chummy with her." Gwen turned and looked at her daughter. "Is there anything you know about the woman besides her cooking abilities?"
"Mother, you know the McBride family is very country." Rebecca put down the patterns and looked at her mother. "Is there something you're trying to say?"
"It's crazy how you let that beautiful woman be around your husband all the time. Didn't you say that they went fishing alone?"
"Yeah, and what's the problem with that?" Rebecca put her hands on her hips and stared at her mother.
"They were arguing about something, and it looked really personal. Think about it, sweetheart; she waltzes in here trying to resign from catering the wedding that is two months away. There has to be a problem somewhere.
Didn't you say that they spent two days due to poor weather at the lake house?"
"Yes, it was storming bad, and the lake flooded the road," Rebecca said, getting annoyed. "Mother, I can assure you there is nothing going on between Austin and Farrah Rue. He likes her cooking. That's it."
"Well, Rebecca, it seems like Farrah is cooking up something else apart from food, and Austin seems like he's eating every bite that Farrah is giving him."
"Mother, drop it. Austin is not like that, and besides, Farrah is not his type." Rebecca rolled her eyes.
"You're a silly woman." Gwen laughed. "Didn't I tell you a man will fuck anything with a hole?"
Rebecca looked at her mother strangely. She always used to ignore her mother's rants about infidelity. Her mother hadn't been the same since Rebecca's father, Peter Stephens, had cheated on her and torn apart a thirty- year marriage. Her parents were still duking it out in divorce court.
"Mother, please, not now. I just want to finish looking at these patterns."
"All I want you to do is watch Ms. Rue." Gwen kissed Rebecca's forehead and left the room to make a phone call.
***
Austin could feel Rebecca's heated stare on him as he talked on the phone with Rocky, his road manager for his upcoming tour. He would be on the road for the two months until the wedding. The dates for the tour were written in stone at the beginning of year.
"I really hate the fact that you're going on tour," Rebecca snapped when he got off the phone. "It's my job," he said as he wrote down dates in his calendar.
"Singing those damn songs is your job," she said, "not to mention playing with those damn horses."
"Rebecca, we've been dating for years; I always suggest you travel with me, and you always say no." He sighed.
"Oh God no, I have to listen to your singing every day here. What makes you think I want to hear you sing in front of thousands of people?" she said with a look of disgust on her face.
Rebecca's words stung. She might not have thought they did, judging from the way she was laughing uncontrollably, but every time she made a rude and obnoxious comment, it pushed Austin a little further away from her.
"Cancel the wedding. The money I make from touring goes to this lavish lifestyle you want to maintain, not to mention the vacations you and your mother take. And this fucking wedding!" he yelled.
"Forgive me." Rebecca ran over to Austin and started to kiss him all over his face. "I'm just stressed out, baby; I can't wait until we get back to New York."
"Rebecca, we agreed to move to the ranch fulltime, so we could slow our life down." He drew her face to his.
"And you said we could work on having a baby after the wedding."
"No, I heard you and I nodded my head, but I didn't reply verbally. It's just, I think we should wait and have kids maybe five years from now," she said as she moved away from him.
Austin counted to ten in his head to control his anger. "In five years, Rebecca, I will be thirty-eight," he said. This wasn't what they had talked about. They talked about having kids after they were married and moving to the ranch. He wanted to raise his children in the country, away from the hustle and bustle of city life.
Rebecca shrugged, picked up a wedding magazine, and flipped through the pages.
"In a marriage, we both have to make compromises." The tone of his voice became soft as he looked at her.
"Compromises?" Rebecca faked a laugh. "I know all about compromises. I totally compromised on the menu because of you and your country-bumpkin family. I compromise every month when you are in a different city singing your ass off."
Austin needed to get away from Rebecca and her ways. Grabbing his boots, he left the house and sat in his truck. How could he ever have a meaningful conversation with Rebecca when she went head-to-head with him over every word like a small child?
A knock on Austin's window caused him to jump. Rolling down the window, he said, "What, Hank?"
"Sorry, don't chew my head off." Hank held his hands up and backed away from the truck.
"Sorry, man." Austin ran his fingers through his hair.
"Trouble in paradise?" Hank asked.
"You have no idea," he said, banging his fist against the steering wheel.
"Why get married when there is so much trouble between you guys?" Hank looked at him.
"Maybe you're right," Austin said as he started the truck. "I'm going out, so could you put Shadow in his stable?"
"I got you, bro," Hank said as he tapped the side of the truck.
Austin drove until he reached the Southern Rose Eatery. He needed to talk to Farrah. She was the only one who understood him.
***
Farrah opened her car door and walked up to her house. The sound of someone walking behind her made her turn around.
"Stalking?" she asked when she saw Austin walking up behind her. "Unfinished business," Austin said as he stood in front of her.
Farrah couldn't get enough of the cowboy as he stood in front of her wearing jeans and a red shirt along with his cowboy boots and hat. "You shouldn't be here, plus there is nothing to talk about." She turned around and walked away from him.
Farrah was at the door, opening it, when Austin's strong hands covered hers. "Austin, leave," she said through clenched teeth.
"Not until we talk." He looked around the complex. "You should let me in before someone recognizes me." Farrah groaned and moved to allow him to enter.
Putting her bag on the sofa, she watched him kick off his shoes and make himself at home. "I like the way you made yourself at home," she teased before going into the kitchen. She could hear Austin following her. He stood there in silence watching her prepare dinner.
"You have exactly ten minutes to say what you're going to say," she told him. "I'm staying for dinner," he said, smiling sheepishly at her.
"Well, McBride, you're lucky that I bought two porterhouse steaks." She smiled. "You can make the sa
lad." Austin went to the sink and washed his hands. She gave him instructions on how to prepare a salad.
"I have a small garden on the patio, where I grow tomatoes, snow peas, cucumber, and the herbs for the dressing," she said as she grabbed a bowl for him to put the items she needed in.
"You're like a little farmer," he joked.
"I have a green thumb. Fresh veggies and fruits are the way to go if you can."
"My mother had a garden on the ranch. Maybe you should come check it out. You could use the vegetables and fruits for the restaurant."
Farrah stopped rubbing the steak with garlic and rosemary. Looking into Austin's grey eyes, she shook her head. "No."
"Why not?" he asked.
"I can give you a hundred reasons," she said, turning her attention back to the steaks sizzling in the skillet.
"Come to the ranch, Farrah. I want you to see the garden that my momma worked hard in. I know it needs a little work, but I think you'll be surprised how many vegetables she squeezed into this small area."
Farrah was having a hard time thinking. "I'll go check out the ranch. Plus, I need to meet with Megan to plan the décor for your event. I also have the menu for the wedding, but I'm still tweaking it."
"There is not going to be a wedding," he said.
The temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees. Farrah couldn't believe her ears. "Repeat yourself," she said, refusing to look at him.
Austin made Farrah face him. "It's hard to fight these feelings. Every day I think about you and it's become harder to get you out of my system. I don't want to lose you. You're the one I've been waiting my whole life for."
Farrah touched the side of Austin's face. "I can't. And we shouldn't see each other, Austin. All we're going to do is hurt people; think about Rebecca."
"I'm going to end it with her." Austin stroked the side of Farrah's face.
"Austin, I'm not the woman for you. We're different."
"How? Is it because you're black and I'm white?"
