by Thorn, Ava
"I bet," Rebecca replied.
"What did you just say?" he said, looking at her.
"I said, which pattern do you like?" She held up two dishes for him to choose from.
"Neither." Clearing his throat, he looked at Rebecca. His throat was becoming dry and his palms were sweaty. "Rebecca, I don't think us getting married right now is a great idea."
"You're not doing this to me. Everything has been paid for, including the catering and the venue plus the cake, and the invitations have been sent out." Rebecca shook her head vehemently. "No, you're not doing this.
Whatever the problem is, we need to fix it in thirty days."
"Rebecca, I'm not in love with you," he said softly. "A lot of things have changed, we have changed. Our dreams and hopes for the future are not the same. We don't want the same things anymore."
"You don't love me?" she cried.
"I love you as a friend," he answered. He watched as Rebecca picked up a sheet of paper and started checking off items.
"Baby, I have been looking at the seating arrangements; I'm thinking we can put your uncle Bobby at table three." Rebecca seemed unfazed by Austin's news of no wedding as she continued to ramble on about seating arrangements.
"There is no wedding," Austin repeated firmly.
"Pastor Carmichael agreed to marry us," she said as she continued to go over the wedding checklist.
"Rebecca!" he shouted, which caused her to jump. "Look me in my damn eyes! There will be no damn wedding, not to you. Throughout this whole wedding fiasco, I gradually learned that you're not the woman for me."
"How did I lose you? We were happy!" she screamed, picking up a vase and throwing it at him. "Is it her?"
No one knew that he'd been with Farrah except his cousins, and he was sure that they wouldn't tell anyone.
"Who?" he said as he dodged the flying vase.
"Farrah Rue!" she snapped.
When Austin didn't reply, she continued, "My mother said she saw you guys arguing, not to mention the way you looked at her."
Austin knew there would be casualties, but his mother always taught him to tell the truth no matter whose feelings were going to be hurt. "Yes, I'm in love with her."
Rebecca picked up another vase filled with pink roses and threw it at him as hard as she could. "I will ruin you and her."
"Stay away from Farrah, Rebecca. You have twenty-four hours to leave the McBride Ranch," he said as he walked out the bedroom door. Another vase was thrown at him. The sound of glass shattering was deafening.
Austin walked out of the house and to his pickup truck. He needed to see the woman who loved everything about him. If someone asked him why she loved him, he could think of so many things to say. Their love flowed through his veins; her love was the life support that helped him breathe. She was all he needed.
He drove to Farrah's house. He'd felt like a weight was lifted off him when he told Rebecca the wedding was off. After parking his truck, he jumped out and practically ran up to Farrah's door and knocked on it repeatedly until she opened it.
"I did it," he said, picking her up in his arms and twirling her around. "We can be together."
"How do you feel?" she asked.
"Relieved. It was so hard to be with Rebecca, especially when I fell in love with you." He picked her up and twirled her around again.
"I don't want you to feel like you did it for me," she said, sitting down on the sofa. "I wanted you to do it because it was what you wanted?"
Austin got on his knees in front of her. "Listen to me when I say that you make me whole, and I can't think of you not in my life." He paused and reached into his pocket, pulling out a ring that he had purchased while they were in New York. "I know that you're not ready to get married, but this is a symbol of my love and a promise to marry you in front of family and friends, when you are ready," he said, sliding the ring onto her finger.
"I can't." She took the ring off her finger and handed it back to him.
"I know that deep down inside, you want to be with me," he said.
"You just ended your engagement to another and now you're giving me a ring," she said and stood up.
"It's a promise ring, Farrah," he said. Austin didn't know what he was doing wrong with her. "You have to learn how to love someone else, or at least allow someone to love you, baby."
"Learn to love someone else?" she said, looking at him in disbelief. "I do love you. Let me guess. I'm supposed to be happy because you just broke up with your fiancée. Well, I can't be happy, because she is at home and hurt."
"I'm going to leave," he said, throwing his hands up in surrender. "I think I need to give you a few days to get used to the fact that I'm no longer with Rebecca." He put the ring on the table before walking out of the house.
***
Farrah closed her eyes as she listened to Austin's truck pull away from her house. She wiped at the tear that rolled down her cheek. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She finally had a good man who could love her like she needed, but something was keeping her from loving him.
She didn't want to be hurt all over again. She knew that he loved her, because everything felt right between them. Austin was the one who could change her life. He was everything that she ever needed. A part of her wanted to spend every day loving him. Austin was the only man she wanted to kiss or make love to. But her life was filled with hurt and pain. Her father had claimed to love her mother, too, before taking her life. Sometimes the bad outweighed the good.
"I don't want to love a man who is going to hurt me in the end," she said as she lay on the sofa. Farrah tried to go to sleep, but her mind drifted to thoughts of Austin.
Chapter Nine
Austin threw the phone at the wall in anger. For the sixth time in four days, he'd tried and failed to contact Farrah. Her cell phone went straight to voicemail, and every time he called Southern Rose, she was either busy or out running errands. He even had Shane go to check on her, which sucked, because Shane was always so flippant about Farrah.
"Mr. McBride, Rebecca is here to see you," Megan said as she tapped on his office door.
Austin could feel a headache coming, he massaged his temples to relieved stress, and he didn't want to hear anything that Rebecca had to say. She'd said enough when she left the ranch threatening to out his cheating with Farrah.
"What made you come all the way back to Texas?" he said without looking at her.
Rebecca looked around the office. "You didn't move your whore into the house."
"God, Rebecca, is that why you brought your ass here?" Yeah, he could definitely feel a headache approaching.
"Actually, I just brought back a box of items you left in my condo in New York," she said, smirking as she touched a picture on the bookshelf.
"Okay. You could have shipped it to me."
"Also, I wanted to give you this as an early wedding gift, but you couldn't keep your dick in your pants."
Rebecca tossed a pregnancy test at him.
Austin caught the test and read the word pregnant. Looking at Rebecca and back at the pregnancy test, he said tonelessly, "Okay. You're having a baby."
"Where is the excitement? You always wanted to have babies."
"Not with you, Rebecca. You made me realize that you're not mother material."
"We're going to deny our unborn child the benefit of a two-parent household because of her?" Rebecca whined in a high pitched voice.
"Leave, Rebecca!"
Austin sat back in his chair and thought about how his mother would be ashamed of him. He wanted to be happy that he was finally having a child, but he wished to God that Farrah was the one carrying his baby. He wished that he could marry Farrah and live happily ever after. But he knew that was something that was neither here nor there. If his mother and father were alive, he knew they would tell him to do the right thing and stay with Rebecca and their unborn child.
Grabbing a pen and paper, he wrote a letter to Farrah. He told her how much he missed
her and the way she felt in his arms. It hurt him to death to write that letter to Farrah, but he knew it must be done.
***
"I deserve love."
Farrah recited the words to herself as she drove to McBride Ranch.
"I deserve love."
For two weeks, she had ignored any and all communication from Austin because she knew where his heart was. He wanted to marry her and have a future. She wanted the same thing, but she had allowed her first unhealthy relationship to keep her from being happy. Until today, Farrah had blamed herself for the toxic relationship she'd had with Frederick.
Not any longer.
She was not at fault for his behavior and what had happened. And most of all, she had finally forgiven herself for staying with Frederick. Before Austin came into her life, she felt unlovable and unworthy. But Farrah had reflected on herself for two weeks. She had gotten in touch with herself again and realized that she had to love herself.
Farrah's past had had her questioning what love was, and now she knew what love was and that what she had with Austin was love that only came once in a lifetime.
Pulling her car into the circular driveway, she parked it next to Austin's truck. She checked her reflection in the mirror before getting out. Taking a deep breath, she got out of the car, walked to the door, and rang the bell.
Austin appeared at the door, wearing only jeans. "Hey, Farrah," he said, walking out the door.
Farrah felt like it was strange that he didn't invite her in.
"I know that I haven't communicated with you in a few weeks, but I needed to get my priorities in order," she said.
"Farrah… I decided that I'm going to go through with the wedding to Rebecca," Austin said.
Farrah was blindsided. "What?" she said.
"I'm going to marry Rebecca," he repeated.
"There is something else you're not telling me," she said, looking at him. "What is it?"
"She is pregnant with my child," he said.
"Do you love her?" she asked.
"No," he replied.
"Then you don't have to get married. You could share joint custody," Farrah said as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
"No," he said, moving away from her. "A child deserves to be raised in a normal household, a two-parent household, with two caring and loving parents."
"Are you serious?" she said.
Farrah felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. This couldn't be happening, not when she had trusted him and allowed herself to be happy for one second.
"I love you," she said.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"You are sorry?" She shook her head and laughed. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. "I could stand here and repeat every word you told me in the last month, but I won't. I was stupid and foolish to think that we could be together."
"Farrah, do you think this doesn't hurt me, too?" he shouted. "This is killing me!"
"What do you think you're doing to me right now?" She was trying to keep it together. "You made me feel like the love we had would never end, but I knew you were going to hurt me. It was only a matter of time."
She walked back to her car with Austin on her heels. He turned her around to face him. "I'm not perfect," he said through clenched teeth.
Farrah laughed bitterly. "I didn't care, don't you understand that? I loved you for you." She shoved him in his chest. "I thought we had something special!"
"Farrah, please."
"Farrah, what? Let me guess, Austin still wants to have his cake and eat it too. Newsflash, Austin McBride: stay out of my life!" she screamed as she jumped in her car and sped away from him.
Austin watched as Farrah drove off. He couldn't bear to see her like that. Jumping in his truck, he went after her. He broke all the backwoods speed limits to catch up to Farrah. He honked his horn and flashed his lights until she pulled over.
"Let's talk," he said, pulling her car door open.
"Nothing to talk about. We said what we had to say. Go home and finish planning your wedding."
She tried to wrench her door out of his grasp, but he reached through and yanked the keys out of the ignition.
"Give those back!"
"Come with me to the lake," he begged.
"Give me back my keys and I'll follow you," she said.
"Promise?"
Farrah paused, then nodded slowly.
Austin held the keys out, and she snatched them from him.
An hour later, he sat next to her on the sofa at the lake house. Her body was tense, and she refused to let him touch her. He didn't blame her. He loved her but had to let her go.
"I'm going to move on with my life," Farrah said calmly. "I'm not going to dwell on the decision you made. You picked her. All I want is for you to be happy." She stood up.
He wanted to wrap her in his arms. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she said. "What's done is done. We can't turn back the hands of time. We both got caught up and forgot that you had a fiancée. This was my wakeup call. I shouldn't have let myself have feelings for you."
Farrah averted her gaze and refused to look him in the eye.
"At the end of the day," she said, "I was wrong for allowing myself to love. You were my beautiful mistake, and I have to get over you eventually." Farrah pulled out the ring he had given her and set it on the table.
"Goodbye, Austin."
She gathered her keys and left.
A part of Austin wanted her to turn back and look at him, but she didn't. He watched her get into her car and drive away. He knew she was gone for good this time. It had been a year since he'd cried, but now, as he looked down to see the promise ring he had given Farrah on the table, he wiped the tears that streamed down his face.
***
"Have you seen her?" Austin asked. It had been exactly a week since he'd last seen Farrah at the lake house.
A few days ago, he'd received a check in the mail from the deposit he gave her for catering the wedding. His dreams were filled with her laughing and smiling. He missed her so much that sometimes he called her voicemail just to hear her voice.
"Yeah, she is heartbroken but strong enough to move on," Shane said. "She put her trust in you only to get her heart broken."
"Rebecca is pregnant," Austin replied. "What am I supposed to do? I won't allow my child to grow up with a single mother."
"I'm not going to tell you how to live your life. If you're happy, I'm happy," Shane said.
"I have a request. I know she leaves work late, but her staff leaves early. Could you watch out for her?" he asked.
"You didn't even have to ask." Shane tilted his hat as he got up.
"Watch her and that's it," Austin said. He didn't want his cousin to get any wrong ideas about Farrah.
"Why do you care? You're getting married, remember," Shane said towards the door.
"Goddammit!" Austin said as he got up from his desk. He followed Shane out the door. "What's your
problem?"
"Farrah loved you and you hurt her. Actually, you discarded her like a piece of trash," Shane said.
"I'm still trying to make sense of this." Austin groaned.
"Any man who comes into Farrah's life will be the luckiest man in the world," Shane said.
Austin couldn't picture another man spoiling and loving Farrah. He couldn't bear the thought of another man making her smile or giving her a child. He just couldn't.
***
"She is almost out of the picture," Rebecca said gleefully.
"It's not totally over yet." Her mother laughed. "She is still in Dallas. Austin loves her and not you."
"What can I do? She is not going to leave Dallas!" Rebecca whined.
"Let me handle it; you just work on getting pregnant," Gwen said as she looked at pictures the private investigator had given her. When Rebecca walked out of the room, Gwen picked up the phone and dialed a gossip hotline. "I have a tip. Country singer Austin McBride cheated on his fiancée
with the wedding caterer."
"Do you have pictures?" the person asked.
"I can email them to you," Gwen said.
Maybe shedding some light on the relationship Austin had with Farrah would send the poor girl running away.
***
"Good morning, Dallas! Last night, we had some breaking news in the entertainment industry: "Country singer Austin McBride was caught with his pants down with another chick who was not his wife! The gossip world is on fire trying to see if the million dollar wedding is still on. We're told the mystery woman is Farrah Rue, who owns a restaurant here in Dallas called Southern Rose."
"Shit!" Farrah scrambled out of bed and rushed to the bathroom and collapsed in front of the toilet, vomiting until she dry heaved. Her worst nightmare was coming true the news of her affair had come to light.
Picking up her phone, she dialed the restaurant and informed the new chef she hired to handle the restaurant until she could return.
Farrah sat on the cold tile, her mother's voice echoing in her head, telling her not to cry because it was her fault. It was her wrong-doing that caused her so much pain. She allowed herself to get caught up in the whirlwind of love and she was the one who had a broken heart. Don't cry anymore, she told herself.
Farrah's phone was ringing off the hook with entertainment reporters who wanted a comment. She had people knocking on her door. She lay in bed trying to block out the day.
***
"We're in panic mode, Austin," Samuel Braxton said as he paced the floor in his office. "We can blame this on misjudgment; you are very in love with your soon-to-be wife Rebecca."
"I'm in love with Farrah Rue. The only reason I'm staying with Rebecca is because she told me she is pregnant."
"Has she confirmed the pregnancy?"
"Not in public."
"What's your plan?"
"Sam, it's taken everything out of me to not run to Farrah and hold her. I know she is scared."
"Think about yourself, Austin, the empire you built. You don't want to be labeled as a cheater. The female fan base won't accept that, it won't fly with them."
