“You did that on purpose,” he said.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Why don’t I believe that?”
“I don’t know. It’s true.”
“I wonder if it is. Did you like what you saw?”
“I—”
“Just unbutton the shirt. Then stand.”
I did.
“Take off my jacket.”
I removed it and then pressed the fabric against my nose. With his eyes fixed on mine, I breathed in deeply before tossing the jacket onto the sofa. The act of that gesture seemed to inflame him for a moment, but then he tamped it down. “To remove my shirt, you’ll need to unbutton the cuffs. Focus, Jennifer.”
I did as I was told, and then I gently pulled the shirt off him. I knew he was in shape, but not in this kind of shape. His chest appeared full and firm, bulky and rock hard beneath the T-shirt. I could see the corded muscles in his abdomen, and his arms were bigger than I thought they’d be. I usually only saw him in a jacket of some sort. The only exception was the night he arrived at the restaurant in casual clothes. But then it was dark and the shirt he wore fit loosely. Looking at him now, I could see that his nipples were as hard as my own. The shirt fit so snugly that little was left to the imagination. And then, in a surprising gesture, he didn’t allow me to finish undressing him. In one quick motion, he pulled the T-shirt over his head and stood bare-chested in front of me.
“There’s your chest,” he said in a deep voice. “Do you still want to touch it?”
I admired it before I spoke. “I do.”
“What if I told you that wasn’t allowed tonight? What if I told you that it was only me who was going to touch you?”
I looked at him. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I might want to.”
I looked at his chest, which was muscled and lightly hairy in the most appealing way. Starting just beneath his pecs ran a thin line of hair that rippled over his ridiculous abs and disappeared into the well of his pants. God only knew what awaited me there. His nipples were taut and erect. I don’t know why, but I wanted to put my mouth on them. I wanted to flick my tongue over them and maybe bite them. But he wouldn’t let me touch him, which was too much. I decided to go for it, anyway. I reached out to touch him, but before I could, he firmly pressed me down on to the sofa.
“What do you want, Jennifer?”
I was dizzy with lust. “I want you.”
“How badly do you want me?”
“Like I’ve never wanted anyone else before.”
“Why?”
“Because I feel connected to you. Safe with you. And I want you.”
I saw him look at my martini, which I’d barely touched. I felt that he looked at it to see if I’d had too much to drink and wasn’t thinking clearly. But I was. I’d only had a few sips.
“I’m not going through with this if it’s just about taking your virginity.”
“That’s not what this is about.”
“What is it, then?”
I was so filled with desire and anticipation. It was a challenge just to think. “I want to be with you, Alex. I want you inside of me. Please. I can’t take much more of this.”
“Much more of what?”
“You. Standing in front of me like that. The tension. I can’t stand it much longer.”
“I’m not going to take you unless you belong to me.”
“Unless I what?”
“I want you to be mine.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I want you to commit to being my girlfriend, or this isn’t happening. I’m not going to take your virginity if this is just a curiosity. I won’t do that to you because you deserve better. I need to make sure that you know what you are doing, and that you know how far I might take this.”
“What do you mean? How far will you take this?”
“Just answer the question. I need to know from you that I’m the one, or this isn’t going to happen. I can’t do that to you. Your first time should be special. You’re not some sixteen-year-old girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing. You know exactly what you’re doing and how this will change us. You’ve held back for years for a reason. Obviously, you’ve been waiting for the right man. I need you to be sure that I’m that man.”
“You are.”
“Will you be exclusive to me?”
I screwed up my face at him. “Is that even a question? Of course I will. Don’t you know me by now? Why would you ask such a thing?”
“Because exclusivity is a loaded term for me.”
“I don’t understand.”
He leaned down toward my ear, the stubble on his chin once again sending me to the edge when it brushed against my earlobe. When he spoke, it was a whisper. “Then let me explain. I want to do things to you that are so intimate, only we share them. You’ll never know when I want to take you. It could be in my car, at my office, at a restaurant, here on the floor, in any one of my homes, or in any number of other places. Maybe even in public. I am not exactly vanilla when it comes to sex, Jennifer. I never have been. I like to experiment—a lot. I’ve been celibate for four years, ever since my wife died. Like you, I’ve also waited for that one special person. The only person. I knew I found her that night at the Four Seasons. I knew it when I became jealous of the attention you were receiving. I’m not usually a jealous man, but I was that night, and it was for a good reason. And then I fucked everything up when I mistreated you. Before we go forward, I need to make sure that you do feel safe with me, that you mean it when you say that you feel safe with me. I need to know that you seriously want to be with me, and that you will trust in me in the process.”
“What process?”
“You’ll see.”
“You’re being so vague.”
“If you trust me, that shouldn’t matter.”
“I do trust you.”
“Then we’ll take it slowly,” he said. “Hand me my shirt.”
I looked at him in confusion.
“This isn’t happening tonight,” he said.
“What are you talking about?”
“I want this to build even more than it has.”
“Why?”
“This is why.”
In one fluid motion, he was on his knees and pressing my legs apart. He leaned into me, curved his hands around the low of my back and kissed me hard on the mouth. Gently, he cupped my breasts while his tongue probed so deep that I lost myself in the moment and gave everything I had back to him.
I reached out to feel his chest. He moved my hands aside, but I was damned if I wasn’t going to touch him, so I swatted him away and ran my hands along his rock-hard pecs and his silky torso. When I went for his nipples and pressed them hard between my fingers, he caught his breath and pulled away from me with a look of surprise and raw passion. His chest and torso were covered in little red indentations from the crystals sewn into my dress. I couldn’t help a smile.
“I’ve branded you,” I said.
He furrowed his brow as if he didn’t understand.
“Look at your stomach.”
He saw the marks, and then he looked back at me. “So you have. And who better to do so?”
He came toward me again and pushed further into me, sending me back on the sofa to the point that I could feel him against my knee, which sent rivers of excitement through me. He took my face in his hands and kissed me on the lips before he lowered his head to my neck, kissed me there, and then went to my swollen breasts, which were pressed tight against my dress. For a moment, he just admired them. Then, with a quick glance at me, he kissed each nipple, giving each a tiny bite that nearly made me come before he pulled me to my feet and cast me out of the moment.
“My shirt,” he said.
“Why are you doing this?”
“I’ve told you. I want it to build. And it will build, to the point that neither of us knows what hit us. I’m also punishing myself for how I treated you before. And believe me,
not being with you tonight is a punishment.”
“But we’re beyond that.”
“Maybe one of us is. Maybe the other can’t forgive himself for it. Would you like to finish your martini?”
“Only if you pour yourself into it.”
He laughed at that. “I don’t think there’s any part of me that would fit in it. Shirt, please.”
Reluctantly, I handed it to him. “Do you want the jacket and tie, too?”
“No. Just the shirt.” He shrugged it on and buttoned it up, concealing everything that I fantasized about and wanted.
“I think you’re cruel.”
“You won’t when I have my way with you.”
“And when will that be?”
“No idea. Time will tell. We’ll know when it’s the right moment.”
“Now is the right moment.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because I’m right.”
“According to you.”
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
“I have to work tomorrow.”
“Then I’ll be there to pick you up. We can come back here.”
“Why? So you can tease me more?”
“Likely. Would you like that?”
“I can’t believe this.”
He smiled warmly at me. “Neither can I.”
“You’re frustrating me.”
“I’m frustrating myself. I want you right now in ways that I’ve only wanted one other woman. But that was years ago. This is different.”
“How is it different?”
“I never thought I’d be here again. But I am. And I’m not taking you until you’re mine.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to sleep tonight or how I’m going to stay focused at work tomorrow.”
“You think it’s going to be any easier for me? That’s the whole point of this. I’m punishing myself for what I did to you.”
“But you’re also punishing me.”
“You’ll see that I’m right. Let’s give this time. Let’s let it build.”
I moved to speak, but he came forward and kissed me on the forehead, then on the lips before he moved his mouth to my ear. The stubble again—rough against my skin. Damn him. “Trust me on this, OK? You’ll see. In the meantime, I’m hardly going to keep my hands off you. Or my mouth. Or my tongue. But I am going to make certain that your first time blows you away, Jennifer. When it happens, your body will experience things that you didn’t know it was capable of experiencing. Or achieving. And then, when it becomes clear to you, you’ll realize exactly why I’m doing this.”
“Kiss me again.”
But he didn’t. Instead, he moved away from me. “I’ll have a car waiting at the curb for you. The driver will make sure you get home safe. And I’ll see you tomorrow night, OK?”
Bastard. “Fine,” I said.
“The bathroom is just off to the right.” He cracked a smile. “Before you leave, you might want to check your hair and makeup.”
CHAPTER FOUR
In the back of the limousine, I rolled down the window next to me and breathed in the city in an effort to ease my nerves. I felt, at once, charged and cheated, turned on and angry. I was riding on the cold rails of whatever control I had left, which wasn’t much. He’s going to be the end of me, I thought. Why did he stop that from happening?
In my clutch, I felt my cell buzz. I reached for it, clicked it on, and knew it was a text of some sort from Alex. But it wasn’t a text. It was an email. The subject line simply said, “For you. And only for you. No one else.”
Attached was a photograph. I downloaded it, and when I saw what it was, my hand absentmindedly went to my breast. He’d taken a photo of himself in his bathroom mirror. His shirt was off, as was his T-shirt. On his face was a smirk. His chest and abs were bared to me. It was too much—an absolute tease—but two could play this game. I wasn’t about to be undone.
I asked the driver for privacy, and the privacy glass went up between us.
How best to get to Alex? What could I do to top that photo? I thought about it for a moment, and then I leaned forward and unzipped the back of my dress. I let the top fall into my lap and expose my breasts, which were covered with the sexy lace bra Blackwell chose for me earlier.
My hands started to tremble at the thought of what I was about to do. I strategically parted my hair behind me and placed it over my breasts in a way that I knew would turn him on.
I’d never done anything like this, but for whatever reason and regardless of how hard my heart was beating, I wanted to do it. I pressed back against the cool leather seat, turned the phone around so the camera faced me, and took several shots of myself either staring intently into the lens or with my lips slightly parted and my eyes closed. The camera’s flash lit the inside of the limousine with several small explosions of light. I could only imagine what the driver was thinking, or if he could even see through the dark glass. But I decided I didn’t care. Let him think what he wanted. I was going to give Alex exactly what he deserved. I dipped my head back, as if I was in the throes of an orgasm, and took more photos.
When I was finished, I couldn’t help a giggle. I’d never been that free with my body. And better yet, it felt right.
Before I pulled my dress back up, I looked at the pictures, most of which I disliked, with the exception of one. One was perfect. It showed just enough skin as well as part of the lace on my bra. My hair, which I knew he loved when I wore it down, curved over my breasts, which were full and round, the cleavage deep. In the photo, I was biting my lower lip. My eyes were closed and my head was pressed back against the leather seat as if there was something inside of me that needed to get out—which was true enough. I thought I looked kind of hot, which was fitting since inside, I was boiling over. I looked at the photo again and couldn’t help another giggle.
Obviously, I’ve lost it.
But so be it. I attached the photo in a return email to him, and wrote in the subject line, “This right here? This is what you’re missing.” Before I could even think about what I’d done and thus stop myself, I pressed the send button. I shook my head at the audacity of my actions, and then I quickly pulled myself together. When I moved to zip up the back of my dress, I became aware that I was so turned on, I was wet again.
And then my cell buzzed. This time it was indeed a text.
“You aren’t going to make this easy for me, are you?”
I raised my eyebrows at that, and shot him a text. “I’m just following your lead. And by the way, you’ll never know when I’ll email you a similar photo, so be prepared. It could be while you’re at work. At one of your events. Or maybe even during a meeting. In fact, maybe the latter is the best choice given what you cheated me out of tonight.”
I waited a moment, and he rang in again. “I can always ask the driver to turn the car around, you know?”
I thought about that. But as much as I wanted him, I rejected the idea. What was happening between us was driving me crazy with excitement, but now I saw the logic in the statement he’d made earlier. Let it build to the point that neither of us can stand it any longer. Then, when the time is right, what we’ll experience together should be something that neither of us will forget.
It’ll be mind blowing.
“Sorry,” I wrote. “But you had your chance. We’re letting this build. Maybe a few months?”
I pressed the send button, and awaited a new text from him. When it came, this one said, “Not months, Ms. Kent.”
“I’m thinking several months. You shouldn’t have done that to me.”
“I did what I felt was right.”
“Is your shirt back on?”
“I’m not wearing anything. Would you like a photo of that?”
I blushed when I read that post, and closed my eyes at the thought of it. “I can wait. Sort of.”
“Are we sexting?”
“I believe we are.”
“Hav
e you ever sexted before?”
“I think you know better.”
“Neither have I. You’d think we were a couple of teenagers.”
“That’s funny,” I wrote. “I feel like a woman.”
* * *
When the driver dropped me at my apartment, I thanked him, ran across the dimly lit street, and quickly stuck my key in the door. I couldn’t wait to get out of this neighborhood. It was dark, it was sketchy, and it gave me the creeps. I had a steady income now. There was no longer an excuse to stay here. Lisa and I needed to find something soon.
Only when I was safely inside did I hear the driver pull away.
I climbed the four flights of stairs and entered the apartment. Lisa sat across the room, the pages of a manuscript in her hand and her nightly martini next to her. She glanced up at me when I stepped inside and said hello before circling something on the manuscript. She then dropped it in her lap and just looked at me.
“Well, well,” she said. “Look at you.”
I put my clutch and cell down onto the kitchen counter. I could hide nothing from Lisa. She’d be on to me in a second. In fact, she was on to me now. “Whatever do you mean?”
She picked up her martini and took a sip. There was mischief in her eyes when she said, “Lovely dress.”
“Thank you. It’s supposed to evoke Gatsby.”
“You don’t say?”
“That was the idea.”
“A rousing success.” She looked down at my feet. “Pretty shoes.”
“I like them.”
“Are they comfortable?”
“No blisters for me today.”
“At least not on your feet.”
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing. Just mumbling. Those are some jewels.”
Annihilate Me Page 3
