Tammy might have left him if she wasn’t naive, but she was still in denial. She still believed that Randall loved her. She still believed that he was going to make good on his promises. That is, until he started to hit her.
Then, Tammy began to realize that all hope was lost. But it was nearly too late. Her parents were completely out of the picture and most of her friends had moved away for university. She was entirely alone with no one to turn to. Everyone in the town and in her Catholic community had vilified her.
By the grace of God alone, Randall left having of his own accord. He was tired of his plaything once he realized that she had nothing to offer except a crying baby and expectations.
Once she was through with her story, Victor reached his hand across the table and rested it on Tammy’s arm. Not knowing what to say, at least the comforting gesture would help. A part of him couldn’t believe this woman sitting across from him was his former student.
She had been through so much. She wasn’t a naive, nerdy prep school girl anymore. Tammy Powers had lived a rich and full life, far richer than her peers who would probably have looked down on her for being a teenaged mother. Tammy’s life had been tough… it had been ugly… but she’d emerged a survivor.
Victor expressed how sorry he was for Tammy’s experience. It was clumsy, but she appreciated the sentiment. Not many people sympathized with Tammy. She was glad to find someone who actually seemed to care about what she went through.
Then Victor revealed something surprising.
“You know… You’re not the only one from your year to have a baby right after Willowcrest. The other instance is very hush hush because she pretended to go to college. But she’s back in town…” Victor started.
Tammy wondered who it could be. Carolina Rodriguez? Kaitlin Vance? Victor filled in the blanks for her.
“Stephanie Wagner… Although you may remember her as Stephanie Gardner, has a son who started at Willowcrest last year. She married military just after high school,” Victor finished.
Tammy couldn’t believe it. Stephanie Gardner was married? She was one of the most popular girls in Tammy’s year and known for sleeping around. Stephanie was famous for poaching boyfriends and bullying girls she considered “losers”.
“Really?” Tammy replied.
“Really… Hey… You might know her since she’s the head of the PTA,” Victor continued.
Tammy also choked on her croissant.
Stephanie Wagner was the PTA head? Gross.
Tammy wanted to be involved with the PTA but Stephanie was someone she considered a rival. Stephanie had mocked everything about Tammy when she was in school. She mocked Tammy’s braids and Tammy’s dark skin. She had bullied Tammy relentlessly but not specifically.
Stephanie was just a plain mean girl and she dished it out to everyone. Tammy wondered if motherhood had changed her. At least Victor had given her a heads up before she head into a PTA meeting.
Before Tammy could reply, her phone rang. She wouldn’t have answered her phone except for the fact that it was Jabari calling. She let Victor know that it was her son before she picked up.
“Jabari, is everything okay?” Tammy asked it wasn’t difficult for Jabari to give her a call while he was out with his father.
Jabari’s tone of voice scared her.
Jabari spoke with a shaky voice, “No… Everything's not okay. Dad is… He’s getting mad. Mommy, he called you a slut and I think he’s drunk or high off something. Please… Can you come get me?”
“Do you feel safe where you are now?” Tammy clarified.
Her heart raced as she worried her son was in danger. She figured she would have to act fast and ditch this sort-of date with Victor.
“No,” Jabari whispered.
“Get out of that house. Head over to the convenience store and wait for me okay? Just get out and I’ll be there as soon as possible. I’m on my way,” Tammy said.
Tammy panicked.
“I’m sorry. I’ve gotta go.”
“Don’t apologize. Go to your son. We’ll finish this da— this conversation another day.”
He smiled warmly, the crow’s feet around his eyes warming up his tanned face.
Tammy dropped ten bucks on the table and fled to her car. When Tammy entered her car, she floored it all the way to the convenience store near Randall’s house.
She was glad that it wasn’t too far away from the coffee shop. She was even more happy that no cops caught her running two red lights. When she pulled up outside of the store, she saw Jabari standing right outside shaking like a leaf.
Tammy didn’t know how he managed to get away from his raging father. As soon as he saw her, he leapt into the car.
Tammy wanted to ask him what happened, but she figured she should wait until she got home. If she was in her car while Jabari told her what the hell his father had done to him, she was afraid she would drive right over to Randall’s house and do something foolish.
Tammy didn’t know if she could handle Randall Combs. Getting aggressive with him would just mean trouble for her. Tammy went through a McDonald’s drive-through and bought her son a drink and some french fries to soothe him a little bit more until they arrived home. She was sure Randall hadn’t stopped terrorizing him long enough to make sure he got some food in his belly.
“What the hell happened?” She asked, the moment they were in the house together.
SIX
TAMMY COULDN’T HIDE her concern any longer.
Randall wasn’t above hurting people he claimed to love. Tammy had fallen victim to his desire to inflict pain on others.
Tammy started to make dinner as she listened to her son. She chopped onions, taking out her anger on the tiny white orbs, grinding them into her cutting board. The onions didn’t make her cry and she didn’t flinch as she slammed her knife into the board.
Jabari had agreed to meet up with his father if and only if his father stopped drinking. Tammy had agreed to that. Randall loved his booze and he was a mean drunk.
Jabari was still naive enough to think he could stop his father from drinking. That day he awakened to the harsh reality that nothing could pry Randall from his booze, not even his son.
Randall had lied to Jabari and messaged him for weeks and weeks with false updates about how well quitting booze had gone for him. He pretended to attend AA meetings and everything.
Two hours into hanging out with Jabari, he started to take swigs out of a bottle of spiced rum and he hadn’t stopped until nearly every drop was gone. Once drunk, Randall had regressed to his usual self.
He dropped the pretense that he was a good man. Or a good father.
Tammy chopped more vigorously, causing Jabari to come out with his story more tentatively.
Jabari tried to keep a low profile in an attempt to escape Randall’s wrath.
Randall had gone rogue, ranting about Tammy and speaking poorly of her parenting skills.
“I was shocked ma. I never heard you say anything like that about him.”
“What else did he say,” Tammy replied, her flat monotone disguising the bubbling rage.
She tossed her onions into the pot then peeled her carrots with swift anger before setting them on the chopping board to become victim to her knife.
“I can’t repeat it.”
“Yes you can,” Tammy replied calmly, “Tell mama what happened.”
“I can’t say it.”
“What can’t you say?”
Jabari looked away from his mother and shook his head.
“Jabari tell me,” she snapped, slamming the knife into the cutting board.
Randall’s ranting escalated. He’d told Jabari that he needed to “man up” and get a “girlfriend to f**k”. Tammy’s nose twitched when she heard the inappropriate words Randall had spoken to her son.
Randall made inappropriate comments to Jabari surrounding sex which he must have considered “tips”. As Tammy heard Jabari explain what happened, she felt herself becoming
angrier and angrier. She slammed her knife into the carrots as Jabari stared at her hands, moving swiftly with the knife.
Jabari would hate to be the one to cross his mama when she was angry and holding a knife.
Tammy wished that there were some way Randall could be out of her life forever…
Jabari and Tammy spent time together as the pot boiled. Tammy didn’t want to leave her son’s side. Tammy was reading her latest romance novel, The Black Pearl of Saint Domingue. She shivered and pulled her blanket around her tightly when she got to a steamy scene with Alan Ransom.
Jabari tinkered with some tools and bits of his old laptop he’d dissected. Later that evening, they ate dinner together. Tammy didn’t know what to say to her son. Would another apology really mean anything if she allowed this to keep happening?
The complications with Jabari and his father made seeing Victor even more difficult. How would Victor fit into this world? He was hot, older, Spanish, and the man Tammy been dreaming of since she could dream of men. Victor was a silver fox in every sense of the word, his hair just starting to grey she noticed upon closer inspection.
She owed him an explanation, but even then, she owed it to him to leave him alone. Her life was too complicated with her ex.
“Tammy… Is everything alright?” He asked when he picked up the phone.
That made speaking to him harder — the fact that he cared.
Tammy sighed, noting his genuine concern and wishing she could tell him the truth.
Tammy replied, “Sorry about how I left. When Randall gets crazy he doesn’t care who gets hurt.”
“Is Jabari okay?”
His gaze pierced hers with intense concern. He was almost fatherly the way he watched her, ogling her like a protector, as if he would leap into the line of fire to keep her safe.
Tammy couldn’t help but worry she was getting in over her head with him. He couldn’t know how she felt — ever. He was her former teacher after all.
She averted her gaze, fearful that her expression would betray her growing feelings for him.
He was so ambiguous that she could hardly tell if he were just being polite or if he too felt these forbidden desires that had swelled in her chest from the moment she first laid eyes on him.
“Would you like to come over to my place and finish up that coffee date? You seem like you could use someone to talk to and I hate to have conversations like this over the phone,” he asked.
Victor couldn’t stop himself.
What are you doing, Victor. He asked himself, wondering if he was losing his mind asking his former student out on a date.
He had feelings for her, yes, but he’d been trying to ignore those feelings. He remembered her when she was so young after all. It wouldn’t be right for him to see her any other way.
A long time has passed. He thought to himself.
Then he realized, he was still awaiting his response and she could just as easily reject him as take him up on her offer.
Slick move. Tammy thought to herself.
Tammy was sure he was genuine about providing a listening ear, but she began to suspect Victor had other intentions. Her heart raced at the thought. Could he really share the forbidden feelings she too was desperately trying to suppress?
No one has to find out. Tammy thought to herself.
She silenced the thought when she realized how presumptuous she sounded. There was no guarantee that anything would happen between her and Victor.
“Yes, 8:30.”
Tammy hung up. She couldn’t bear to stay on the phone with him a moment longer and have him say something that would snap her out of his reverie.
A date. A real date with Victor Del Toro.
She squirmed in her seat the way she had when she’d had her first crush on the man who stood before her, teaching her how to speak his foreign tongue.
Tammy kept Jabari distracted with a school project. She didn’t have to work hard at taking his mind off her.
Tammy felt a few pangs of guilt hiding her night time meeting from her son, but she couldn’t help it. She had no intention of explaining what was going on. Not yet. Not when nothing had really happened between them.
Tammy dressed as if she were just headed to the store, and went downstairs to find that Jabari was still distracted by his project. He barely looked up as his mother approached him.
“Baby, I’m headed out for a bit to visit a friend. I’ll call Mrs. Jackson to let her know you’re home alone and if you need anything just pop right over there,” Tammy announced.
“Uh huh,” Jabari mumbled, barely looking up.
Mrs. Jackson, the town gossip, lived next door. Tammy hated having her up in her business. The last time that had happened, she’d gone through Tammy’s medicine cabinet and had the shamelessness to bring it up. Unfortunately, Laura Jackson was the only person willing to babysit at the last minute.
Tammy called her and pleaded for her to cast an eye out for Jabari. She grilled Tammy about where she was headed but in the end acquiesced to her request.
Tammy remembered exactly well señor Del Toro lived.
On the last day of her Spanish Literature class, she remembered traipsing to the old New England cottage for hot chocolate and donuts at Señor Del Toro’s house. His house was half way between Tammy’s and the prep school.
Tammy couldn’t believe she still remembered exactly how to get there. It was like the directions were an immovable, programmed part of her memory. It had been so long since she’d last visited. Back then, she’d been shy, with buck teeth and messy hair that she could never get to lay flat.
When Tammy parked her car, she considered not getting out. She still had time to run away and change her mind about this, about him.
Victor was always stoic and silent, never betraying his true feelings. What if she’d made a mistake coming here?
Tammy left her car and watched Victor from the driveway.
He stood in his doorway, streaks of silver running through his otherwise black hair. His eyes pierced her skin as she walked up the driveway to meet him. For an instant, Tammy detected something hidden behind his gaze: an intense lust that appeared buried just beneath the surface.
If she was nervous, he was nervous too.
Victor folded his arms, tapping his fingers against his biceps as he watched Tammy walk up his driveway. She was young, too young for him, but the thought of her undressing for him gave him an instant hard-on. He clenched his jaw, talking himself into behaving.
He couldn't initiate anything with her. Given her circumstances, that would be tantamount to forcing her. No, if she wanted him, he needed her to be the one to want it. He couldn't set this in motion. He was far too moral, far to proper to push himself over the edge like that.
"Good evening," he whispered, kissing her on the cheeks as if they were in Spain and not in America.
As Tammy drew close to him, his cologne wafted into her nostrils. The smell of tennis balls lay dormant in his clothes. Back then, he'd spent hours on the courts and it had been a past time of hers and her girl friends to dare each other to ask him to play.
Silver Fox: BWWM Romance Novel Page 5
