Jess grabbed Gabi’s hand, finally realizing privacy would be the smart move. He led her across the choir loft and into the tiny choir room. The room was dark and small. And crowded with chairs. It felt much like the closet they’d been in the day of the cobbler contest.
The door was barely closed behind them when Jess stepped up and took her face between his hands.
“I’m sorry, Gabi.”
His words were tender. His eyes were the same. And her heart was hanging in the balance as she fought not to fall to pieces at his words.
“Y-you should be,” she managed to say.
“I know you want to knock me in the head for my behavior.”
He didn’t have a clue.
His hands felt so lovely though, cupping her face, and he was mere inches from her as he spoke. But she pulled away, needing to put some distance between them.
“Jess,” she said, finding herself again. “I’m no good for you. You will never be able to feel secure with a person like me.”
“I’m in love with a person like you. And I’m secure knowing she loves me, too. Or at least she did. Does she still?”
His eyes were so teal she wanted to dive into them. Her heart was thundering at the look in them. “What does that mean?”
“It means, I love you, Gabi. And I’ve been a first-rate fool.”
“No, Jess, you haven’t been. You are a man who used to be a boy and you were hurt very badly.”
“I was a boy who thought God didn’t care about everyone. But I know different now, because of you.”
Gabi couldn’t speak.
“You changed me, Gabi. I’ve been talking with my mother and we’re working on mending fences. That’s because of you.”
“I’m so glad.”
His gaze never wavered from hers. “I’m promising you I will never think that again. And I’m asking you to forgive me just like I asked God to forgive me.”
Her breath was labored and her head was pounding.
“Jess, I can forgive you, but, I don’t know if I can—” She wanted to throw herself into his arms. But he was only apologizing. And she needed some dignity here.
“Jess, no—” He pulled her into his arms and she couldn’t move.
“Gabi, I was a fool. I lived my life being afraid of my past and angry at God. You told me once that He’d protected me and you were right. He did, but I didn’t want to see that because I was hanging on to my anger so fiercely. Luke pointed out that God was there with me through everything. And He was. My parents weren’t, but God was. And until recently when Luke got hold of me, until you came along, I couldn’t see how He was always giving me what I needed. What I need now is you, Gabi. And I was so caught up in the past, I hate that I almost passed up on the treasure God has sent into my life.”
Gabi’s knees were weak.
“I love you, Gabi. The path of my life was worth it if that’s what it took to lead me to you.”
“Oh, Jess! I love you, too. But…the alcohol. I understand. And you warned me enough.”
“Gabi, I’m here for you. I want to be the man my dad wasn’t. I want to stand up for the ones I love, you and our children.”
Could this be happening? “No, Jess. I can’t let you say this. You need to know and be totally sure where my past is concerned. I get where you were coming from. I understand. And I can tell you with confidence that I’m okay but I’ve signed up to attend AA meetings at the shelter once a month and to be assigned a sponsor. I don’t want to take any chances.”
Jess went still. “You’d do that, for me?”
She nodded. “For us. But I can tell you that I don’t want it any more. When you walked away from me, it broke my heart but it showed me how far I’ve come with God’s help. I didn’t need or want to turn to a bottle, Jess. I turned to God.”
Jess’s eyes misted in that moment and he closed them momentarily before looking earnestly at her. “Gabi, it doesn’t matter. I’m here for you either way. I want to stand by you always. I want to love and cherish you. If you’ll have me.”
His words touched her. “I love you, Jess, but I need you to know and believe that I’m not that person that I used to be. God saved me, and I’m a new person. Do you believe that?”
He smiled. “I believe you.”
She heard the certainty in his voice and her heart soared. “Oh, Jess, and to think I was ready to elbow you a few minutes ago.”
He chuckled, his beautiful eyes crinkling merrily. “I would have deserved it.”
She shook her head. He hiked a brow and she grinned. “Okay, maybe a little you deserved it.”
He laughed, then kissed her with a passion that stole her breath and befuddled her brain.
“Gabi, I rescued you that first day when you were swimming in the ditch. And now, you are rescuing me and pulling me up and out of the quicksand I was sinking in. God sent you to me, Gabi, and I almost missed it.”
His smile faded and his expression turned serious, his eyes burned with certainty. “After God sent His Son to save my soul, He sent you to renew it with your love.”
She closed her eyes and thanked God for all her blessings. “I love you so much, Jess.”
He went down on his knees. “Then, will you marry me, and make a family with me?”
Her heart had never felt so full. “Are you sure?”
Jess swept her into his arms and kissed her. “I’m going to live the rest of my life showing you how sure I am. And I’m going to love every minute of it.”
“Then I guess we better open this door and tell everyone the good news.”
A mischievous grin lit across Jess’s face as he pulled her closer. “They can wait,” he murmured, and then kissed her with no regrets, full of soaring hope and a promise of more to come…and Gabi decided that Jess had been right all along.
He had rescued her that day when he had pulled her out of that raging water and threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Who would have ever believed it?
Certainly not Gabi. But boy, was she glad.
Oh, yeah, life was good.
God had a plan and Gabi couldn’t wait to see where the rest of that plan took her!
* * * * *
Be sure to watch for Colt’s story, HER HOMECOMING COWBOY, coming August 2012 from Love Inspired Books.
Dear Reader,
Hello and thank you! Thank you all so much for the wonderful support you have shown me and my wacky little town by faithfully reading my Mule Hollow series. This is my twenty-first book, and the twentieth set in Mule Hollow—I cannot believe it! I’ve so enjoyed the ride and am always thinking of you, my readers, as I create my next stories and try to entertain you with fun while also giving food for thought on how God’s goodness can intertwine with and enrich our lives. I hope you are enjoying meeting the Holden men in these three Mule Hollow Homecoming books. Look for Colt’s story, Her Homecoming Cowboy, coming August 2012. When Colt thinks all is lost…he’s about to meet Annie and little Leo, and his life will never be the same!
Do you have someone in your life struggling with addiction? Are you struggling with addiction? Can you see how it is affecting your family? I would love to pray for you or your loved one if you send me a note—Debra Clopton, P.O. Box 1125, Madisonville, Texas 77864, or write to me from my website, debraclopton.com
Until next time, live, laugh and most important, seek God with all your heart.
Debra Clopton
P.S. Remember all the Mule Hollow books are also now ebooks, too. Check my website, www.debraclopton.com, for new things to come!
Questions for Discussion
I hope you enjoyed this Mule Hollow story! I had fun writing it, while also touching on deep issues that faced both Gabi
and Jess. Throughout the book Gabi is struggling to do and react the way God would want her to react. She is praying for patience and the ability to make good choices. Why is this?
Jess doesn’t believe he’s cut out for love. Why? What is he afraid of?
Gabi has a past and is struggling to find her way as a new Christian. What is she seeking when she comes to Mule Hollow?
Trying to be true to her need to tell others about Christ and what He’s done for her, Gabi boldly asks Jess about his faith when they first meet. How does this make Jess feel?
Gabi has a past full of partying and drinking. When she attends the Bible study with many Mule Hollow friends, she decides that no one needs to know about her past. Why does she decide to keep it a secret? How do you feel about her decision?
Jess is feeling as if God abandoned him just as his parents did. So he has a lot of resentment inside him. Though he has vowed that his past won’t affect his present and is an upbeat guy, we see that his past affects him very much. Do you have this problem in your life, or do you know someone like this? How can you move forward from it or help someone you know to do the same?
Jess reveals to Gabi that he feels as if God has something against him and his brothers, and he is confused and angry. Have you ever felt this way?
Gabi has come to Mule Hollow looking to be used by God, but in Jess’s darkest hour, when she realizes how deep his pain runs, she feels inadequate. Have you ever felt as if you couldn’t do what God put before you to do?
Do you feel that when you are struggling with feelings of inadequacy, that is when you have to trust God more and realize that you can do all things through Him who strengthens you—and not all things through you who strengthens you? In these times, it’s easy then to give the glory to God and not to yourself.
In Jess’s darkest hour, after Colt’s tragic accident, Jess’s true feelings about God come out. It’s all about what God hasn’t done for him. What does Gabi tell Jess?
Gabi counts herself as Jess’s friend. A good friend will tell you when you are wrong, even if it is a hard truth and goes against what you want to hear. Gabi does this when she tells Jess he needs to get on his knees and ask God to forgive him. Have you ever had a friend who was wrong about something and you pointed this out to him or her? What was the consequence of being truthful? (Sometimes it is not received well and sometimes it is.) Please discuss ways to help these situations.
Jess resents his mother deeply, but when she finally asks him for forgiveness, he realizes that as a child he did not get to make the decision about how his life would go. But now he does have control over making that choice. What does he choose to do and how does he view it?
Luke is the most influential person in Jess’s life. If he hadn’t taken on the responsibilities and made the choices that he made for his own life, how do you believe this would have affected Jess’s life? Do you know people whose view on life can ultimately be influenced by your choices for good or bad? Do you seek God’s will as Luke did to make the choices that go with how the Bible would lead you?
Gabi had wonderful people in her life—her mother and her Gram—and yet she still chose the wrong path. Though our past can affect our future, it is ultimately our responsibility as to which path to follow. While Gabi was on the wrong path, what were her mother and Adela doing? Are you a prayer warrior for those you love?
Gabi’s biggest regret when she looks back on her partying past is that she wasn’t seeking God’s will in her life. Are you seeking God’s will in your life?
Jess holds his mother’s actions against her and yet, as Luke points out to him, he chooses to do a similar thing when he walks away from Gabi—the woman he loves. Do you think the advice and sentiments Luke expresses in that confrontation ring true? And again, Luke could have said exactly what Jess wants to hear, but he chooses to say the truth, even though it’s not what Jess wants to hear. Instead Luke chooses to say what Jess needs to hear. Do you agree?
Montana and Gabi discuss how wonderful life is when your life and God’s will collide in unity. God has plans for each of us. How can you feel His will in your life more clearly? Seek it? More Bible time? Please discuss with your reading group how you can be a support for each other.
ISBN: 9781459226500
Copyright © 2012 by Debra Clopton
All rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
® and ™ are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.
www.Harlequin.com
Her Lone Star Cowboy Page 18
