“I didn’t mean to!” She was almost crying now, as what she’d done started to sink in. I took a deep breath, looked back at where Greg and Phil were holding their own (barely), and settled myself down.
“I know. And you can make it right. Do you know how to banish this beastie?”
“I have no idea. I don’t remember anything since Tuesday. I was walking home, and all of a sudden I was asleep. I had the most terrible dreams, too.” Crap. Tuesday was when we fought the girl at Tommy’s house. When Mike banished Belial, she must have followed the magic back to her summoner and took her over. So Bun-head remembers nothing since Belial took over and started trying to bring Daddy Dearest here to earth.
“Alright. Stay here, then. And if that thing kills us, start running.”
“Where will I go?”
“I don’t think I’m going to care very much if I’m dead lady. If I croak, you’re on your own.” I stood up, dusted myself off, and got ready to jump back into the fight. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of something shiny. I’ll admit that I’m easily distracted by shiny objects, but this time it turned out to be a good thing.
At one side of the gym there was a little stage set into the wall, and at the front corners of the stage, one on each corner, were two flags. One was the standard American flag with an eagle atop the flagpole, but it was the other flag that caught my eye. I recognized it from playing softball for a Baptist church one summer in high school. It was the Christian flag, a red cross on a field of blue in the top left corner of a white flag. But the flag wasn’t what grabbed my attention; it was the flagpole. Eight feet tall and topped with a heavy gold cross, it looked like just the thing to smite an archdemon with.
I ran across the gym, grabbed the flagpole, and yelled over to Greg, “Get high!” He vaulted about fifteen feet into the air, and I chucked the flagpole at him like a javelin. He caught it on the fly, turned a somersault in midair, and dove straight down for Baal, cross-first.
Phil saw what we were doing and launched into an all-out attack, thrusting and slashing with renewed fury. I had a brief second to think about how screwed we were if this didn’t work, and then Greg was diving into the demon with his Christian flagpole/spear. As the flying vampire got close, the cross atop the flagpole glowed brighter and brighter, eventually bursting into white fire as it touched the demon. Greg buried the cross deep into the meaty shoulder part between Baal’s neck and head, and the demon collapsed to his knees, screaming. Greg landed behind the beast and rolled clear, as Phil moved in for the kill.
He paused for just a second, sword raised, and Baal looked him in the eyes. “Why, Zepheril? You could have been the greatest of us all.”
Phil looked at him with something like pity and said, “Dante was wrong, Baal. It is infinitely better to serve in Heaven than to rule in Hell. I just hope this proves that I’ve learned that lesson.” Then Phil drew back his sword and sliced off the demon’s head in the middle of the gym.
Chapter 37
After such a brutal fight, the aftermath was almost anticlimactic. There was no big explosion, no huge lightshow as the demon vanished into sparks, no great gaping maw opening in the earth to suck Baal back into Hell. All in all, it would have been much more impressive if it were designed for the Xbox. But real life, as weird as it is, still isn’t a video game.
So the demon just disappeared, to be replaced by a screaming Sabrina standing in the gym firing her pistol randomly around her. We all ducked, and she ran out of ammo without shooting anyone on this plane, so all was good. I waited a minute before I stood up cautiously and said “Sabrina? Are you okay?”
She looked at me, still holding her pistol, and said in a shaking voice, “Jimmy?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Are you okay?” I repeated.
“I…I think so. I mean, I’m back. I’m alive, or at least I think I’m alive.”
“Trust me. You’re alive. I can smell you.”
“That’s gross.” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m sure I smell like Hell.”
“Literally, I think.” She laughed, which worried me a little. I always worry when a woman laughs at my jokes. When they’re laughing at me, it’s just situation normal. But when they’re actually laughing at my jokes, I look around for the camera crew.
“Where was I?’ Sabrina limped over to one of the tables that had been scattered around for the carnival and sat down. I followed her and stood beside her. I kept looking around, worried that we weren’t quite done fighting for the evening. After all, it wasn’t quite midnight, so I figured there was still a chance for everything to go to crap.
“Hell.” I said simply. “I’m pretty sure you were in Hell.”
“I believe it.”
“What was it like?” She hesitated, and I added, “If you can talk about it, I mean.”
“Yeah, I think I can. I was surrounded by those psycho little girls again, and no matter how many of them I killed, more of them kept coming. They swarmed me again and again, and just when I finally thought they had killed me, I opened my eyes and I was standing there in the forest again, and they were all coming again. It was like Zombieland meets Groundhog Day.” She shivered, and I moved beside her and put an arm around her shoulders.
“You know, Bill Murray was in both of those movies.” I pointed out. She elbowed me in the gut, but she laughed a little. That was twice she’d laughed at my jokes – we were gonna need a hospital for her pretty damn quick. She was obviously concussed if she thought I was funny.
“So what happened?” She asked. And I filled her in. At least up to the point where Phil cut off the demon’s head. When I got to that part, something struck me and I yelled across the gym.
“Hey, Phil!”
“Yes, James?” I guess after that fight I’d been promoted past “little vampire.”
“Why did you help us?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re a fallen angel, right? Cast out of Heaven for picking the losing side in Lucypher’s rebellion? Stuck here on Earth forever because you can’t go to Hell and you’ll never be allowed back into Heaven?”
“Never is a very long time, Jimmy-lad. And we’re not given to see all the way to the end of it.” I turned and Mike was limping into the gym, one arm draped over Lilith’s shoulder as she helped him to our table. Greg and Phil made their way over to us, as did Bun-head, who introduced herself rather shamefacedly as Janet.
“What do you mean, Mike?” I pulled a chair over next to Sabrina, and she didn’t pull away. That’s always a good sign.
“I mean that even the worst of sinners is offered redemption, again and again. Look at you, my boy. You made enough peace with your maker to come onto holy ground to fight a demon. So who’s to say there’s not hope for even a fallen angel?” I shook my head a little, but I generally defer to Mike on spiritual matters. After all, he’s the one with the hotline to the guy upstairs, not me.
“Hey!” Greg’s head snapped up, and I could see how rough he looked. Even with his vamp healing, it was easy to tell how much his fight with Belial took out of him. He had a black eye, which looked about three days old, and his split lips were healing, but still seeping a touch. If he felt anything like he looked, then he felt like he’d been killed all over again. His eyes were clear, though, and something had obviously struck him.
“How did you get in here? And what about you?” He asked Phil, and then Lilith. “I thought you couldn’t set foot on holy ground without bursting into flames or something.”
“That was just him. I’m not a fallen anything, little vampire. I can go anywhere I like, I just didn’t want to get involved in your little mess.” Lilith looked at all of us smugly, as she was the only one who hadn’t been either possessed, nearly killed or beaten to a pulp by a demon.
“I couldn’t set foot on holy ground, but once Baal set the demons free and stepped out of the circle, the gym was no longer sanctified. The very touch of a demon corrupts any place that it alights, and only
the holiest of places can withstand that touch. This place was not nearly holy enough to stay sacred with an Archduke of Hell walking around, so I was free to come in and rescue you two.” Huh. It made sense, and thinking back on it, I realized that once Baal was out of the circle, I hadn’t felt any more nausea. I’d thought that I was just too scared to be sick, but apparently there was something real going on.
“Yeah, and thanks for that. But why?” I asked again. I wasn’t sure he was going to answer me, but he and Mike exchanged a look, and then Phil took a deep breath and started to talk.
Chapter 38
“I suppose after sharing the field of battle, you’ve earned an explanation,” the angel began. “I was one of the Heavenly Host since the beginning of time. We were made long before the earth, and eons before the Father decided to conduct his little experiment in free will and put you mortals in dominion over this little corner of the universe.
“I saw that for what it was – a slight against those of us who had served loyally for all this time. It was an insult to us, the firstborn of God, to have to watch you crawl around in the mud and learn to make even the simplest things, like fire. So when Lucypher led his assault on Heaven, I was one of the first to join him.
“The battle raged for millennia, far longer than you mortals can comprehend. Even you, James, with your artificial immortality, cannot understand the length of our conflict. Finally, though, we rebels were vanquished and brought in chains before the Father.
“The rebels who repented and promised to serve loyally were given their places back in the Host, while those of us who stood by our principles were cast out, forced to live among you worms as a constant reminder of exactly who the favorite children really were. And Lucypher of course was sent to rule in Hell. He took nine of his closest compatriots with him, and they became the Archdukes. Baal was one of them.”
“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “Baal was once an angel?”
“Of course, James. How can anyone be truly evil without understanding that which is truly good? Humans are not the only species that needs contrast for comprehension, and the dichotomy of the universe is the one thing that even the Father cannot alter. For there to be good, there must be bad. For there to be pure good, there must at some point be pure evil.
“But I digress. Baal joined Lucypher in Hell, and I became one of the Fallen here on Earth. I watched your civilizations, as if the word were even applicable, rise and fall. I watched your societies mature and decay, and over time I came to realize that I had been not only a fool, but a coward as well.
“I stayed on Earth because I was not willing to commit myself enough to evil to rule in Hell. But I wasn’t brave enough to accept my punishment at the hands of the Father, either. So I couldn’t return to Heaven, and I couldn’t go to Hell. I was trapped here until I could do something to warrant an audience with the Father again. I had to do something to make him notice me, to remember me, so I could tell him…”
“Tell him what, my son?” Mike asked, and I saw him as his parishioners must see him, as a wise man, a holy man. My oldest living friend almost glowed with an internal peace that made even me want to confess to him. But we didn’t have all night.
“Tell him I’m sorry and I want to come home!” cried Phil, and I saw golden-tinged tears running down his flawless face.
“You couldn’t have just asked?” Mike asked him, but when I looked at my friend, he was different somehow. The peaceful glow about him wasn’t just an internal thing. He was actually glowing. It took me a minute, because I’m not the sharpest fang in a jaw, but I realized pretty quickly that I was in the presence of something big. Even bigger than Baal, and he’d been pretty husky.
“F-Father?” Phil asked, and he kneeled in front of Mike. The rest of us followed suit, except for Lilith. Mike looked over at her, and raised an eyebrow. That clinched it; my old friend was totally possessed. He spent most of eighth grade trying to learn to raise just one eyebrow and never got the hang of it.
“Still, daughter?” He asked, and it wasn’t an impatient question, just the kind of thing you ask someone you’ve disagreed with for years to confirm that the argument was still where you left it.
“I don’t kneel. Ever. To anyone. It’s my thing.” She answered, and sat down at the table, leaning back in her chair and propping her spike-heeled boots on the table.
“I know, my daughter. I know.” He sounded tired, like a parent that had lived this argument time and again. Come to think of it, he sounded a lot like my parents in high school. “Now, my son. You had something to ask me?” He looked down at Phil and stretched out his hand. Phil took it and stood, looking Mike in the eyes that held more than Mike.
“Can I come home?” I’d never seen Phil look contrite before. Of course, I’d never seen him cry, or fight a demon before either, so it was another night of firsts for me. Yippee.
“Of course. All you ever had to do was ask.” And Mike put his hands on Phil’s shoulders, and the angel just vanished. Nothing happened for a moment and then he began to glow with an incredibly bright, white light. I could only stand a few seconds of the glare, and even squeezing my eyes shut I knew I’d be seeing spots for a while. When the glow faded, I opened my eyes, and Mike was standing there, with no angel in front of him, and no divinity in his eyes, either. That was a bit of a relief, really. It’s hard to take someone seriously as a deity when you used to sneak into R-rated movies together.
Lilith looked around for a minute, and then muttered “Crap. He didn’t leave me any instructions other than to take care of the club.”
“What does that mean?” I asked. She shot me a look that could kill someone who was actually living.
Lilith took a deep breath and said “I owed Phil a debt. Since he didn’t absolve me of it, I have to keep his business operations running until he does, or until the period of my service comes to an end. So I’m stuck here for a while.”
“How long?” Greg asked. He kept trying to sneak peeks up her skirt as she leaned back in her chair, but he was about as subtle as a hand grenade.
“Five hundred years, minus time already served.” Lilith answered.
“How much time have you served?” I asked.
She shot me another look. “Two weeks.” I looked around at Greg, Mike and Sabrina, and we all burst out laughing. After a few seconds, Lilith got up and stormed off without so much as a goodbye. She did not strike me as a woman who was accustomed to being laughed at. Oh well, we knew where to find her for the next few centuries.
Chapter 39
After our little chuckle, I sat up straight and looked at Janet. “So how do you plan to put all this right, lady?”
“What do you mean?”
“What do I mean? What do I mean? Your little spell goes wonky and a passel of little girls end up kidnapped, a dozen zombies tear up most of Charlotte, a cop…”
“Detective,” corrected Sabrina.
“…detective gets sent to Hell, and we thrash an entire private school gymnasium. And all because you wanted to win the PowerBall!?!? That’s what I mean, you nutjob!”
“I was afraid that’s what you meant. Well for starters I promise never to do magic again, even the kind that summons angels.”
“Demons.” I corrected.
“Well I meant for it to summon angels. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
Everyone around the table yelled in unison “NO!” Janet had the good grace to look ashamed, at least, even if she didn’t have a good answer. After a long moment, Greg broke the uncomfortable silence.
“Hey, look. The sun’s going to be coming up soon, and this building is no longer what I would consider light-tight, so at least a couple of us would like to get home. The rest of you are welcome to crash at our place if you like, but we need to get going.”
“I can’t. I have to get home to Mr. Kibble. He must be frantic with worry about me.” Janet said.
“Mr. Kibble?” I asked. I couldn’t imagine this crazy woman having
a husband, but stranger things had happened I suppose. I mean, Greg actually had a date once in ninth grade.
“My Pomeranian. He’s very high-strung and gets terribly nervous if I don’t make it home in time for dinner.” I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she hadn’t been home for dinner in at least a week, and she walked out of the gym before I remembered that she might not have an intact car in the parking lot. Oh well, now that she wasn’t possessed by a demon, I figured the rest of her problems would sort themselves out.
“What about you two?” I asked, looking at Mike and Sabrina.
Mike shook his head, “I’ve got to get to the church for morning Mass, but I’ll swing by later for lunch. I’ll drive, though. My car is still in one piece and I moved it right up to the gym entrance.”
“I’ll come hang for a little while, as long as there’s no biting while I nap.” Sabrina said, standing and holding out a hand to me. I took it and she helped me up. I didn’t really need it, but the feeling of her warm hand in mind wasn’t something I was likely to pass up.
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