by M. D. Melai
I could hardly contain myself when I saw my mother. I hugged her tighter than I ever had before. I had missed her so much. Although we talked almost every day, it wasn’t the same. She almost flew in a couple of weeks ago when I was attacked, but Dante told her I slipped and accidently fell down the stairs, and that it wasn’t that bad. She would have freaked out if she had seen me then. My bruises had mostly faded and my cuts had healed. The only thing remaining from that night was the two scars on my face. I was thankful she didn’t get the chance to see the black eyes, or the bruised handprints around my throat.
Even my father was in a good mood. He hugged me and asked how I was doing. I was optimistic that these next few days would be great having him here.
After a quick lunch, we headed toward the city. Violet and I wanted to show my father the two newest redesigns before we had to head back home for dinner. Benito said he would meet us there and bring dinner with him.
The first restaurant went well. He was very pleased with it and he praised Violet and I with for our good work and told us how talented we were. I breathed a sigh of relief and let my guard down. Violet had done the same. We even had whispered back and forth about how we thought this one was going to be the hard one and the other one was going to be easier one.
It was short lived though. The second one didn’t go as well. It had once been an old burger joint and we thought it would be awesome to take it back to the old diner look. We wanted the old booths, tables, and bar stools. We had decided red and white would be cool with a Coca-Cola theme. The other owner loved it. He had called and told us how much his customers had been complimenting about it. However, my father was not pleased at all.
“So what do you think?” I asked all smiles.
“I hate it!” he said firmly.
I watched as Violet’s smile faded just about as fast as mine did.
“You hate it?” I questioned.
“Yes.”
“What part?” Violet asked confused.
“All of it!” he said as he motioned around the entire restaurant. “This is just awful. What in the hell were you thinking? You must redo it!”
I was in shock. It was really cute. I didn’t understand what he was so upset about.
“Papà, your partner and the customers love it. He has had great feedback from it.”
“Well obviously he is blind or has terrible tacky taste.”
Did he insult my work?
“You must redo all of this at your own cost,” he continued.
“No!” I yelled at him. “Are you crazy?”
“No I am not! You will redo all of this, immediately!”
I was looking back and forth from my father to my mother. She seemed to not share the same thought as he did. Violet just stood there bewildered. I knew arguing with him at this point was not going to work. We were in the middle of the restaurant with customers around, so I grabbed Violet and headed toward the car.
No one spoke the entire drive back to my house. As we pulled up, I noticed everyone was at the house: Dante, Emilio, Benito, Giovanni, Giorgio, and Marcello. None of them were smiling. My father practically jumped out of the car before I put it in park. They all immediately headed into the house except Emilio, who was waiting for us to join him. My mother looked worried, Violet confused, and I was still furious. I marched passed the three of them and headed straight into the house.
“I am not through with you Papà,” I yelled as I entered the living room.
“What did you just say to me young lady?” He turned and looked straight at me, his face crimson red.
“I said I am not through with you!”
“You do not speak to me like that. I am your father!” he slightly yelled.
“Who insulted Violet and me!”
“Lily,” Emilio said from behind me as he grabbed my arm.
I jerked my hand away from him and turned to him with hurt in my eyes.
“We will talk about this later,” he spoke quietly but firm.
“Fine,” I said as I headed toward the front door, “but this isn’t over with yet.”
“Where are you going young lady? You can’t leave this house without supervision,” my father sternly said.
“You don’t have the right to order me around anymore!” I raised my voice with every word. “This is my house and I can do whatever the hell I want!”
Dante was looking at me, pleading for me to stop.
“Stop acting like a child. This is about your safety!” my father refuted.
“My safety? Do we really want to talk about that! I am pretty sure I almost died in this very house, so spare me your stupid safety talk Papà.”
Emilio grabbed my arm again, and this time it hurt. I glared at him as he pulled me to the staircase.
“Emilio! You’re hurting me!”
“I’m sorry. Just please go upstairs and take some time to calm down.” Emilio pleaded with me.
I looked at him for a few seconds before I angrily stomped up the stairs. I didn’t care if I resembled a child. I was upset. My mother was waiting for me, but I didn’t even look at her as I passed her and went straight to my room. I slammed and locked the door behind me. I searched around the room to make sure Violet wasn’t in there, and she wasn’t. She was probably tending to my mother.
I thought this trip was going to be different. It wasn’t. It was the same old shit. Condescending behavior from my father, my brothers and Emilio keeping things from me and cowering in my father’s presence, and Violet running interference, this was all too much!
“Lily?” my mother said. Her voice was sweet and sincere.
“Not now mamma,” I said as nicely and steady as I could. I paced back and forth for a few moments. I had to get out of here. Now. I needed to clear my head, so I changed my clothes as fast as I could. I didn’t know where I was going, so I made sure I put on something warmer.
My room was on the second floor, so going downstairs was not an option. I did the next best thing I could think of. I had a tree outside one of my windows. I slipped my jacket on as I headed to my window. I slowly opened it and climbed out. It had been a while since I had climbed down a tree, but I quickly shimmied down as fast as I could. When I reached the ground, I skipped around to the back part of the house. I decided to take the long way around to avoid crossing the front yard. My car was in the garage so I knew I couldn’t get it out without anyone noticing, but Dante’s was at the end of the driveway. He had a bad habit of leaving his car unlocked with a spare key in it since we were in a gated community.
I knew I didn’t have much time when I could hear Emilio yelling my name. He probably went up to check on me and figured out I wasn’t in my room. Knowing him, he probably kicked in my door. Giorgio was standing on the porch talking on the phone when he spotted me. I gave him a pleading look, and he just shook his head. He let me get into the car before he started yelling that I was out front. At least he gave me a head start.
I was trying to figure out how to put Dante’s car in reverse when he and Emilio came storming out the front door. Emilio ran toward me, but thankfully the gear shifted into reverse and I punched the gas pedal seconds before he reached the car. The tires squealed as they left a mark on the driveway.
Dante was standing on the porch laughing, as my father stepped out beside him. I slammed the gear into drive and hit the gas again. I looked in the rearview mirror and watched as Emilio continued to chase me. He finally slowed down in the middle of the street once he realized I wasn’t coming back.
When I hit the highway I had no idea where I was going, I just knew I had to go somewhere. I wanted to be free for just a little bit. I deserved that much.
Chapter 11
It hadn’t taken me long to decide to come here. The beach always made me feel better. Since it was late November, the breeze coming off the ocean was extremely cold, but I didn’t care. I climbed out of the jeep and headed straight for the water. I thought about throwing myself into it, but decided agains
t that. Instead I kicked the sand and threw handfuls of it into the ocean.
What was everyone’s problem? I felt like I was living in a huge bubble compared to everyone else in my family.
Everything lately seemed to be just too much for me. I thought I was fine, but out here with no one smothering me, I realized I was not fine. I was at my breaking point and what made it worse was that it was partly my fault. I felt that I needed to be strong for everyone else, while letting all my frustration bottle up inside me. Today it was as if my father had taken that bottle and shook it ferociously making all its content explode.
I started crying uncontrollably and eventually fell to my knees, burying my face in the sand. I am not sure how long I was in that position, when a hand touched my shoulder. I recoiled and jumped back to see a man standing there. He was wearing sweat pants and a hoody. His face was obscure.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” He took a step back and removed his hood, finally revealing his face. He was handsome with spiked blonde hair, pale skin, and chiseled features. His emerald eyes, as green as mine, were staring at me intensely.
“It’s okay,” I said wiping the tears from my face. I was mortified that someone had just witnessed my temper tantrum. “I was just…” I didn’t even know how to answer him.
“You weren’t going to jump in were you?” he asked as he smiled at me for the first time. Why did every man I meet lately have a smile that was so unbelievably beautiful?
“No,” I answered back faster than I had anticipated. The truth was I had thought about it, but this was November in New Jersey, and the thought of hypothermia and the loss of fingers and toes outweighed that decision.
“I'm Nikolas,” he said as he stuck his hand out for me to grab. I realized I was still sitting in the sand, so I took it and he helped me up.
“Lily,” I said dusting the sand off of me.
“It’s nice to meet you Lily.”
“Likewise.” I didn’t really know what to say to this gorgeous man who had just witnessed a complete meltdown of some strange woman on the beach. Note to self…when you think you are at the beach alone, make sure to check your surroundings before you make a complete fool of yourself.
“I'm really sorry about that,” I said pointing to the ground where I had just been, “it’s been an extremely rough day.”
“It’s all good, it happens to everyone. That’s why I'm out here running. It’s my way of getting things out of my system.”
“I usually run myself.” I laughed for the first time. “But I’m not from around here so I thought the next best thing would be to kick and throw sand all over the place, apparently.” He smiled at me with understanding.
“Would you like to go grab a coffee or something?” he asked rocking back and forth on his heels. He was nervous and it was adorable. “There is this place just over there.” He pointed towards a small row of stores. “We can just walk straight to it. It seems like we both need a cup.”
“Sure,” I said without hesitation. Coffee did sound good, and it was right across the street. Normally I would have said no, but today was different. I needed a conversation with someone outside of my normal circle. I needed a break.
Nikolas was charming and sweet. He bought us both coffee and we sat in a corner booth and chatted for a couple hours about nothing in particular. He never asked me what was wrong, or where I was from, just random questions like what did I read? Did I like sports? What was my favorite color? It was nice to just sit and talk with him. He never tried to flirt or hit on me, which made me relax. I didn’t need to broaden this love triangle I was already in.
When I finally realized what time it was, I panicked.
“I'm sorry Nikolas. I have to go,” I said standing up and grabbing my coat. “I'm sure they are all freaking out and wondering where I am.”
“They?”
“My roommates,” I said not even skipping a beat. “I kind of left in a hurry.”
“Thank you for spending the evening with me,” he said as he stood and took my coat from me to help me put it on. “You really helped me take my mind off a couple of things.”
“No, thank you. I owe you one.” I didn’t even have time to stop myself, I just grabbed him and pulled him in and held him tightly. I was glad our paths had crossed. I really needed this small chat, no bullshit, just a normal conversation.
“Can I have your number?” he asked politely.
“Sure.” I smiled as I grabbed my keys and kissed him quickly on the cheek. “If fate has us meet again, I’ll give it to you then.” I winked at him as I headed out the door.
As soon as I was outside, I ran toward Dante’s car. It was after ten. I didn’t even want to begin to think about what was waiting for me when I got home. I fumbled around for my phone and then I remembered that I had left it on my bed at the house. Yeah, I was going to die. If Violet didn’t kill me, Emilio or Dante surely would. I contemplated if I should even go home, but that would only make matters worse and I was already in deep.
***
Our house was lit up like a runway as I pulled into the driveway. I hadn’t seen Emilio approach the car until the driver side door flew open and he stood there wide-eyed and very much enraged. I started to say something, but he cut me off before I could even get started.
“Get in the house,” he said through gritted teeth.
“I’m…” I started to speak again.
“I said get in the house now!” He pulled me out of the car and walked behind me all the way into the house before shutting and locking the door quickly. “Room,” he said caveman-like pointing up the stairs. I didn’t argue. I just headed up the steps. Dante was standing midway shaking his head at me as I passed.
“You are in so much trouble,” he said with a sly grin spreading across his face. I thought he might have been talking about Emilio, but he wasn’t. Violet greeted me at the top of the stairs with her hands on her hips and anger in her eyes.
“Where the hell have you been?” she shrieked at me.
“The beach.”
Short and sweet, I thought to myself.
“You have been at the beach this entire time?” she yelled at me. “We have been freaking out, worried sick and you have been at the beach!” I just nodded.
“I’m sorry.” My voice was full of remorse. “I just needed.” I paused for a moment. “I just needed space.” Violet dropped her arms and sighed. She understood.
“You really did scare us,” she said as she hugged me and then led me to my room. “We let it go for the first hour, but when you didn’t come home, Emilio started pacing and getting angry. At hour two he called all the guys and had them on standby, and by hour three he unleashed them all. He has been on pins and needles.”
Violet told me about Emilio asking my father about what happened to set me off. Once my father explained what happened, Emilio told him that I had been fine the last couple of months and that if he was going to insult me then he wasn’t welcomed to stay here. She said my father and mother didn’t stay very long after that, and that I was to call my mother first thing in the morning.
“Do you think Emilio is going to come up here anytime soon?” I asked nervously.
“I don’t know.” She smiled. “Probably not tonight. I think he needs time to cool off. I wish you could have seen him. I haven’t seen him that upset,” she said taking a deep breath, “well in a long time. Anyways, I think it’s time for you to shower and head to bed. He will be better in the morning.” She hugged me tightly before she headed to her bedroom, and I headed to my bathroom to take a shower.
I stayed in there longer than usual. The hot water felt nice on my skin. I started to feel guilty. I acted immature and I shouldn’t have ran off. I needed to learn to control my temper better and face whatever situation life dealt to me. I would start working on it tomorrow.
I got dressed and brushed my teeth before I left the bathroom. Emilio startled me as I stepped into the sitting ro
om. He was sitting in one of the chairs by the window looking at me.
“You scared me,” I whispered loudly at him.
“Good, you deserve more than that,” he said firmly.
“Do you hate me?” I asked as I made my way over to him and sat down in the chair beside him.
“You know I could never hate you.” He breathed out heavily. He sat up and put his face in his hands. “I am mad at you though.” I grabbed his hands so that he would look at me.
“Emilio,” I began, waiting for him to look up at me. When he finally did I almost forgot what I was going to say to him. His gray eyes were not angry at me. They were full of relief and pain at the same time. I was taken aback for a moment at his beauty. I didn’t think I could feel any worse, but I did. “I am truly sorry I caused you to worry.” He reached up and placed his hand on my cheek.
“I can’t lose you. If anything…” He trailed off for a moment and shook whatever thought he was having away. “If anything ever happened to you Lily…”
“Emilio, I am not going anywhere,” I said peering into his eyes. “I just needed some time to clear my head. I have been constantly watched over the last couple of weeks and treated like glass that was going to break at any moment. Today my father just topped everything off. If it wasn’t him, it would have been someone else. It was inevitable.”
“I’m sorry we have smothered you.” He took my hands and placed them on my lap. “It’s just different here than it is at home. Hell, I had Roman here to protect you and neither he nor I could even do that in our own home. I hope you never have to know the anguish I felt when I saw you laying at the bottom of those stairs. It was,” he said as he started to choke up, and I tried to say something but he cut me off, “it was the worst day of my life.”
I had not seen this side of Emilio in a long time. The look in his eyes brought me back to the day his father passed away, and the day he told me he didn’t love me anymore. The pain in them was seared into my memory.
