by M. C. Badger
Table of Contents
Title Page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Copyright Page
MARCUS TINKLER lived with his two sisters, Mila and Turtle, on the thirty-third floor of thirty-three Rushby Road.
The Tinklers’ parents worked for a travelling circus and were often away. Sometimes people felt sorry for the Tinkler kids because they lived alone. But they didn’t need to.
The Tinklers really liked living alone because it meant that they got to do exactly what they liked.
The things that Marcus liked doing most were inventing and reading comics.
His older sister Mila liked writing books and collecting birds’ nests. She also liked wearing birds’ nests on her head as it helped her think better. At least that’s what she said.
The thing that Marcus’s younger sister Turtle liked doing best was pretending to be a turtle. Except that she didn’t think it was pretending. She thought she really was a turtle.
One day, when Marcus woke up, he was surprised to see Mila already up and looking out of the bedroom window.
Usually Mila loved to sleep in. Usually NOTHING could wake her up.
She sighed loudly.
‘Is something wrong?’ asked Marcus.
‘Yes,’ said Mila in a gloomy voice. ‘Something is terribly wrong. Come and look outside.’
Marcus hopped carefully out of his bed. Marcus always had to be careful when he hopped out of bed because it was nailed halfway up the wall. Mila’s bed was too. Turtle didn’t sleep in a bed. She slept in a box.
Marcus went to the window and looked out.
‘What are you talking about, Mila?’ he said. ‘It’s a beautiful day outside. The sky is blue and the sun is shining.
It’s a great day for going outside.’
‘Exactly!’ said Mila. ‘But I want to stay inside today. I feel like reading books and watching TV and snuggling up on the sofa with a blanket.’
‘That does sound good,’ said Marcus. ‘I think I’d like to stay inside today too.’
‘Me too,’ said a little voice. ‘Except I want to stay under here all day.’
The little voice was coming from underneath a big red cardboard box in the middle of the room. Marcus knew that the voice belonged to Turtle. The box was her shell.
‘So, what’s the problem?’ said Marcus. ‘Let’s stay inside.’
But Mila shook her head. ‘We can’t,’ she said. ‘Remember our rule?’
Now, maybe you think that because the Tinklers lived alone they didn’t have any rules.
But you would be wrong. The Tinklers had rules. In fact, they had lots of them. But the Tinklers’ rules were a little different from the rules other children had to follow.
There was one that said they had to eat AT LEAST one bowl of ice-cream every day. And another said that they had to sleep in AT LEAST four times a week. And there was one where they had to jump on the furniture for AT LEAST one whole hour every day.
Marcus was pretty sure Mila made up most of the rules herself.
Marcus had never heard the rule about going outside when it was sunny. It sounded strange. It sounded like the sort of rule that other children had to follow.
‘Are you sure we can’t stay inside?’ Marcus asked Mila.
Mila nodded her head.
‘Yes, I’m sure,’ she said firmly. ‘It’s one of those rules that every kid must stick to. Even us. But let me think about it. Maybe there is a way around it.’
Mila picked up a bird’s nest from the floor and put it on her head. Then she closed her eyes and began to think. Finally Mila SNEEZED. She always did this when she had an idea. Sometimes her ideas were good and sometimes they were terrible.
Mila opened her eyes. She looked pleased.
‘I just remembered something. It is OK for us to stay inside on a sunny day,’ she said.
‘Great!’ said Marcus. He started looking around for a comic to read.
‘Yay!’ cheered Turtle.
‘Just a minute,’ said Mila. ‘I haven’t finished yet. It’s OK for us to stay inside on a sunny day but ONLY IF we’re sick.’
Mila smiled like she had solved the problem. Marcus wasn’t so sure that she had.
‘But we’re not sick!’ he said.
‘Not at the moment,’ agreed Mila. ‘But I’m sure it’s very easy to get sick.’
Marcus frowned. ‘So that’s your plan?’ he said. ‘We should get sick and then we can stay inside?’
Mila nodded. ‘Exactly!’ she said. ‘It’s a great plan, isn’t it?’
TURTLE STUCK her head out from under her shell. ‘Do you really think we should try to get sick?’ she asked.
‘Of course!’ said Mila. ‘Being sick is great fun. You get to lie in bed all day. You can watch as much television as you want.’
‘But we do those things anyway,’ Marcus pointed out.
‘It’s different when you’re sick,’ said Mila. ‘When you’re sick people do things for you. They bring you soup on a tray which you eat sitting up in bed. People send you get-well cards. Everyone makes a big fuss of you. It’s fantastic!’
The more Mila talked, the better being sick sounded. Turtle thought so too, because she came out of her shell completely.
‘But how do we GET sick?’ she asked.
The Tinklers Three thought about this.
‘It can’t be that hard,’ said Mila. ‘People get sick all the time.’
‘Doesn’t going outside without warm clothes on make you sick?’ asked Marcus.
‘It might,’ said Mila. ‘But only when it’s cold and wet outside. Today is sunny and dry.’
The Tinklers thought some more.
‘I once heard a lady tell a little boy that if he didn’t eat his vegetables he would get sick,’ said Marcus, after a while.
Mila jumped up. ‘Yes! Let’s try that.’
She hurried off to the kitchen and brought back a big plate. On the plate were three carrots, three tomatoes and a lettuce.
‘What do we do now?’ asked Marcus.
‘We don’t eat them,’ said Mila.
The three Tinklers sat and stared at the plate of vegetables. The minutes ticked by. It was very boring.
‘This is taking too long,’ grumbled Turtle. ‘I want to get sick quickly.’
‘You’re right,’ agreed Mila. ‘But do you have any better ideas?’
‘How about we drop some food on the ground and then eat it?’ said Turtle. ‘Mrs Splatley always says the ground is dirty and covered in germs.’
Mrs Splatley lived downstairs with her husband and three awful children.
Mila clapped her hands. ‘Good idea, Turtle!’ she said.
Mila took the lettuce off the plate and dropped it on the floor. Then she picked it up again and took a bite.
Marcus looked at Mila closely. She didn’t look any different.
‘How do you feel?’ he asked.
‘I feel fine,’ she said.
‘Maybe we need to drop it from higher up?’ suggested Turtle. ‘Let’s drop it out of the window.’
This sounded like a great idea. Marcus found a very long piece of string. He tied it around the lettuce. Then he dropped the lettuce out of the window and held onto the end of the string. Marcus JIGGLED the string around for a few minutes.
‘That should do it,’ he said finally.
Together the Tinklers pulled in the string. The lettuce was gone.
‘Can you see a lettuce down there?’ asked Mila.
‘No-o-o-o,’ said Marcus. ‘But I can see a green splat
that used to be our lettuce.’
‘Hmm,’ said Mila. ‘I think we’ll have to come up with a new idea.’
They sat down and thought again.
‘I just remembered something!’ cried Marcus. ‘If you eat too much ice-cream you get sick.’
‘Really?’ said Mila, surprised.
‘I’m pretty sure,’ said Marcus.
Mila shrugged. ‘Well, I guess we can try it. But I don’t believe that’s true.’
Marcus went to the kitchen. He got a big tub of ice-cream out of the freezer and three big spoons.
He gave one spoon to Mila, one to Turtle and kept one for himself. Then he opened the tub and put it down in front of his sisters.
Turtle pulled a face. ‘I don’t want to eat ice-cream.’
Mila looked at Turtle. ‘Turtle,’ she said sternly, ‘do you want to get sick or not?’
‘Yes, I do,’ said Turtle.
‘Well, then you will have to eat your ice-cream,’ said Mila.
Marcus, Mila and Turtle began to eat. They ate and ate until they finished the entire tub.
‘Does anyone feel sick yet?’ asked Marcus.
‘No,’ said Mila.
‘No,’ said Turtle.
‘Neither do I,’ said Marcus. ‘Maybe we haven’t eaten enough ice-cream yet.’
Mila went to the freezer and got another tub of ice-cream. The Tinklers soon ate all of this too.
‘Now does anyone feel sick?’ asked Mila.
‘I feel sick of eating ice-cream,’ said Turtle.
‘Me too,’ said Marcus. ‘But I don’t feel sick-sick. What about you, Mila?’
Mila shook her head. ‘I think I could eat ice-cream all day and never feel sick,’ she said.
‘The best way to get sick is to catch some GERMS,’ said Turtle suddenly.
Mila laughed. ‘Don’t be silly, Turtle,’ she said. ‘GERMS are tiny. You can only see them with a microscope. How can we catch something that’s too small to see?’
But Marcus realised that Turtle was right.
‘Catching GERMS IS best way to get sick,’ he said. ‘And it doesn’t matter that we can’t see the GERMS. They can see us.’
‘OK, then,’ said Mila. ‘Let’s go outside and catch some GERMS.’
THE TINKLERS got dressed. Then they hopped into the lift to go down to the ground floor.
As they were going down Marcus said, ‘When we get to the street we have to look out for sick people. They have the germs we want to catch.’
‘What do sick people look like?’ asked Turtle.
Mila replied, ‘They often have very pale faces. But sometimes their faces are very red.’
‘They can look green sometimes too,’ added Marcus.
‘They cough a lot and they MOAN,’ said Mila. ‘And sometimes they are covered in spots.’
‘OK,’ said Turtle, ‘they should be very easy to see.’
On the ground floor of the building was a bakery. As the Tinklers walked past, Barry and Betty, the bakers, called out to them.
‘What are you three doing today?’ asked Barry.
‘We’re going to get sick,’ said Marcus.
Mila looked very closely at the bakers.
‘Do either of you feel sick?’ she asked hopefully. ‘Betty, your face is very red and Barry, yours is really white.’
Betty and Barry laughed.
‘My face is red because I’ve been baking jam tarts,’ explained Betty.
‘And mine is white because I’ve been sifting flour,’ added Barry.
‘Oh,’ said Mila. She looked very disappointed.
‘Don’t worry,’ said Barry kindly. ‘I’m sure you will get sick very soon.’
‘Here,’ said Betty, giving a big bag to Mila. ‘Have some jam tarts. These will make you feel better until you feel sick.’
‘Have some bread too,’ added Barry, handing Mila a huge loaf of white bread.
The Tinklers set off down Rushby Road.
‘It should be easy to find someone sick,’ said Mila. ‘Sick people are always complaining that they don’t feel well.’
But by the time the Tinklers reached the end of the first block they hadn’t seen anyone who looked unwell.
By the end of the second block they still hadn’t met a sick person.
‘Where are the sick people?’ said Mila.
‘Maybe they are all at home in bed,’ suggested Marcus.
‘Of course!’ said Mila. ‘That is exactly where they must be. We’ll have to ring people’s doorbells and ask if there are any sick people inside. Come on!’
Marcus didn’t really want to ring on people’s doorbells.
‘There is another place sick people go,’ he said quickly. ‘To the doctor. If we go to the doctor’s office we’re sure to catch a few GERMS.’
Mila thought about this. Then she nodded. ‘Yes, you’re right. We’ll definitely find sick people at the doctor’s.’
Marcus led the way. It was a long walk and Turtle soon got tired.
‘Who is going to carry me?’ she asked.
‘Mila, it’s your turn,’ said Marcus.
But Mila shook her head. ‘Sorry, but I’m already carrying the bread and the jam tarts. You’ll have to carry her, Marcus.’
Marcus knew that carrying Turtle was A LOT harder than carrying bread and some tarts, but Turtle had already climbed onto his back by then.
I’ll just walk fast, he thought.
By the time the Tinklers arrived at the doctor’s office Marcus was very tired. He was also hungry.
‘Hey, Mila,’ said Marcus, putting Turtle down. ‘Can I have one of those jam tarts?’
Mila held up an empty paper bag. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘but all the jam tarts have gone.’
Marcus looked closely at Mila. She had red spots on her face. The spots looked a lot like bits of raspberry.
‘Where have they gone?’ he asked, a little cross. He was very hungry.
Mila shrugged. ‘I’m not sure. Maybe they evaporated because it’s such a warm day.’
‘Evaporated?’ repeated Marcus.
‘You know what “evaporated” means don’t you, Marcus?’ said Mila. ‘It’s when something dries up and disappears.’
‘I know what it means,’ said Marcus. ‘I also know that water evaporates but jam tarts don’t.’
‘Really?’ said Mila. ‘How strange! I wonder what happened to them?’
‘Mila,’ said Marcus, ‘did you eat the tarts?’
‘Hmm,’ said Mila thoughtfully. ‘Maybe I did. But don’t forget that it’s Tuesday. I always have to eat something red on Tuesdays. It’s one of our rules.’
Marcus had never heard this rule before. He was about to say so but Mila pushed open the door to the doctor’s office and went inside.
The waiting room was full of sick people. There were people coughing and people sniffing. There were people with spots and people with bandages. There were people with red faces and people with white faces. There were even people with green faces.
‘We have definitely come to the right place to catch some germs,’ Marcus whispered to Mila.
Mila sighed. ‘The problem is, I don’t want to catch these people’s germs. They all look awful.’
‘I don’t want to catch their germs either,’ said Turtle, sounding worried. ‘Getting sick is much worse for turtles than for humans. Let’s go.’
But just as they were heading for the door Mila SNEEZED. It was a huge, loud sneeze.
‘Oh no, we’re too late!’ groaned Marcus. ‘You’ve already caught something.’
Mila smiled. ‘No, I haven’t caught anything,’ she said. ‘I just had an idea!’
‘What is it?’ Marcus asked.
‘I’ve come up with a way that we can stay inside but not feel sick,’ said Mila.
This idea sounded interesting, but then again, Mila’s ideas often sounded that way at first.
‘How can we do that?’ asked Marcus.
But Mila wouldn’t say.
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‘You’ll have to wait and see,’ she said. ‘But believe me, it’s a great idea. All we need to do now is speak to the doctor.’
Marcus looked around the waiting room. ‘That’s going to take a long time,’ he said. ‘There are lots of people to go in before us.’
‘Don’t worry,’ said Mila. ‘I’m very good at putting on a sick face. When the lady at the front desk sees it she’ll let us in right away.’
‘Show us your sick face,’ said Turtle.
Mila pulled a face.
Marcus didn’t think it really made Mila look sick. It made her look more like a duck that could smell something bad. But Mila had already marched up to the front desk.
‘Excuse me,’ said Mila in a very loud voice to the woman sitting there. ‘It’s an EMERGENCY. We need to see the doctor right away!’
WHEN THE lady behind the counter looked up, she was frowning. Then Marcus saw her notice the bits of raspberry stuck to Mila’s face. Her frown disappeared and now she looked shocked.
‘You look terrible!’ she gasped.
‘Yes, I know,’ said Mila in a sad voice. ‘My brother and sister are sick too.’
‘Well, then you’d all better go in to see the doctor right away,’ said the lady.
Mila turned and winked at Marcus.
‘See, Marcus?’ she whispered. ‘I told you I’m very good at pulling sick faces.’
Marcus wondered whether he should tell Mila about the raspberries stuck to her face.
Not just yet, he decided.
Dr Hall smiled when the Tinklers came in.
The Tinklers had seen Dr Hall before. They went to her when Marcus hurt his hand while working on an invention. Dr Hall had put a bandage on his wrist.
They also went to see her when Turtle hurt her shell. Dr Hall had given her a new cardboard box.
And when Mila got a bird’s nest tangled in her hair Dr Hall untangled it so carefully that it didn’t hurt a bit.
‘What can I do for you three today?’ Dr Hall asked.
‘Nothing too hard,’ said Mila, sitting in one of the chairs. ‘We just want you to put plaster casts on our arms.’
