by C. J. Harte
“I know this is business for them. When the lights and crowd are gone, I know what I have. That’s all I need.”
“That’s fine, but I don’t know what she wants.”
“I’ve not known Maggie very long, but I know that you’re important to her. In the four years since I met her, you’re the first person she has spent any time with and who’s actually met her family. I also know that she often doesn’t know what she wants and sometimes gets caught up in her own P.R. Then her insecurities take control. When that happens, she just has difficulty letting people know that she cares.” Paul gave her a brief hug and went to his room.
Susan quietly walked with her mother. When they reached Maureen’s room, Susan stopped.
“Do you want to talk?” Maureen asked.
Susan had always appreciated her mother’s concern. This time she wasn’t sure if talking to her mother would help. “I’m fine, Mom. Just tired.”
“Maggie loves you. I have no doubt about that.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Her mother had no trouble answering, “Honey, all you have to do is see how she looks at you to know how she feels. And when I see the two of you together, I know it will work. Be patient. True love is worth it.”
“I didn’t know you were such a romantic.”
“Talk to her, Susan.” Maureen brushed the hair on Susan’s forehead. “If we’re lucky, we’ll have one great love in our lives. Someone who will make us feel weak in the knees and laugh with us. And if we’re blessed with that kind of love, we may have to work to keep it.”
Susan stared at her mom. She kissed her cheek, said good night, then stumbled into bed. As she closed her eyes, she acknowledged that Maggie did make her feel weak in the knees and totally out of control. One question nagged her as she fell asleep: Why can’t she tell me if she loves me?
*
Warm breaths trailing down Susan’s back gently drew her from sleep. Without opening her eyes, Susan rolled onto her back. As fingers danced across her stomach, she recognized the nascent arousal. She opened her eyes and found herself staring up into Maggie’s smiling face.
“Hi, gorgeous.” Maggie placed a box filled with long stem roses on Susan’s chest. “Guess what? They love it. Every one of the reviews was glowing.” She traced kisses down Susan’s cheek, neck, and shoulders. “Here. These are for you. I just wanted to say thank you for being here with me.”
Susan sat up and opened the box of roses. On top was a smaller box. Childlike joy danced across Maggie’s face. Susan slowly opened the smaller box. Inside was a pair of beautiful diamond earrings. They were at least a carat each and expensive.
“Do you like them?” When Susan nodded, Maggie was thrilled. “Good, because there’s another box in there with something that matches.” Impatient with Susan’s slow searching, she pulled the second small box out. She opened it to reveal a diamond solitaire ring.
“Maggie, I can’t. This is too much.”
“Yes, you can. Try it on and I’ll get it sized if it doesn’t fit. I tried one of yours on and kind of judged the size from that.” Maggie lifted the ring out of the box and nervously played with it. Her expression became serious. “I wanted some way to tell you how I feel. For the first time, I think about things I want to do for us.” Maggie slid the ring on Susan’s left hand. “Do you know how good that feels? To have an us?” She played with the ring as she spoke. “I want you to wear this, so that no matter where I am or what I am doing, you can think of me and I will be a part of you. I want you to know how much you mean to me.”
This unexpected expression of feeling touched something deep inside Susan. A place no one else had ever come near. Maggie took Susan into her arms and murmured lists of things she adored about her. Susan relaxed into the embrace. Still she questioned what she was hearing. With all the women she can have, why me? Before she could come up with an answer, Susan’s body demanded attention. Her breathing became rapid and a moan slipped out.
“I want to make mad, passionate love for the next three days.”
“I thought you had dates with Katie, Dave, and Jay.” Susan found talking difficult. “Aren’t they going to occupy your time this week?”
“M-m-m-m! You taste wonderful”
Susan tried one more time before she lost all sense of anything except Maggie’s hands and lips. “What about your interviews?”
“Damn, you are the most persistent person.” Maggie laughed. “You are incredible. Okay, we’re staying here until the day after tomorrow and I’ll do two interviews and Leno tomorrow, then we head for New York. Interviews for two days and then back to Orlando by Friday. I promise. Okay?”
Susan nodded but she doubted if she would remember what was said. She was caught in a tornado and knew it was not the time to discuss the changing wind direction. Heated kisses erased all thoughts but the feeling of Maggie’s lips. Her lips and hands caressed, teased, and played. Susan’s body might have been exhausted but her libido was just awakening. Her body was on fire. Maggie’s fingers brushed against the inside of Susan’s thigh. Susan was losing control. She pushed the hand closer to her center, wanting relief.
Susan cried out as she let go. Her arms tightly around Maggie, she whispered, “Mags, I love you. I love you.”
Chapter Fourteen
Maggie prepared for the interviews, her mood dark. Karl and Maya had arrived before noon to brief her. Her hair stylist and make-up people arrived in time to ready her for The Tonight Show. Still her nervousness wore on the rest of her staff. She knew this was part of the fame, but she still didn’t like it.
“M.J., will you sit down?” Maya put the notes in front of Maggie for one last review. “Sometimes I can’t believe you were an English major.”
“Majoring in English doesn’t automatically assure you of being a competent public speaker. I majored in English because I liked to read and write, neither of which require communicating orally with another person.” Maggie picked up the notes, read them, and put them back down. “Where’s Susan? Did you know I hate public speaking?”
“She and her mom are shopping. I suggested it.”
“What for? Why didn’t you consult me?”
“You need to concentrate,” Karl added, “and she interferes. Besides, you need to cool it with her. You’re going to be under close scrutiny and you can’t afford a scandal.”
“No, you cool it, Karl. Susan is part of my life.”
“M.J., we’re doing our job and protecting you,” Karl said. “You don’t need this affair getting—”
“Stop! Susan is off-limits. To you, Maya, and anyone else. I will not give her up. Do you understand?”
Karl nodded and quickly changed the subject. “After these interviews are over, why don’t you take some time off? We can get that place up near Yosemite that you like so much.”
Maggie glared. “Don’t handle me, Karl. I’ll decide where and when I want to go if I decide to take time off.” Maggie was tired. She mentally promised to take time off in New York to shop with Susan.
*
In New York, Maggie had five interviews with print media, three with electronic media, two phone interviews, and a photo shoot. Susan was frustrated and wondered why she’d even bothered with this trip. She shopped alone. By the time they arrived in Orlando it was almost Saturday.
Susan felt guilty. She had promised to be home early enough to spend some time with her family. She tried to get into the house quietly. In the past, Susan had relaxed after a trip by spending a few moments with her mother before going to sleep, but Maggie wanted to play.
“Why don’t you go ahead and go to bed? I’ll be in shortly.”
“I can wait on you.” Maggie ran her hands across Susan’s breasts. “But I may not be able to wait long.”
Susan stopped Maggie’s roaming hands. “Please. I just need a few minutes. I don’t know how you keep going. I just need some time for me.”
“Fine!” Maggie stormed off without another word.
Susan wanted Maggie to go away so she could wake up her mom and just talk. She didn’t mean to make Maggie angry. She just wanted some quiet. Her life was again filled with conflict.
The next morning Susan and Maggie rode in silence out to the airport to meet Maggie’s kids and Maya. Maggie was still pouting because Susan refused to go to bed when she did.
At the airport, Maggie was recognized and stopped for autographs. A crowd formed, jostling and shoving to get closer. The noise and the pushing frightened Cady. Susan picked Cady up and walked away, calling out that she would wait in the car.
“Mom, are those people trying to hurt Miss Maggie?”
“No, sweetheart, they just want to talk to her and get her autograph.”
“What’s aulo gaff?”
“It’s autograph, sweetie. That is when people sign their names. When you write your name, that’s your autograph.”
“I don’t want to learn to write.” Cady’s face had a serious look.
“I write my name all the time, and no one asks for my autograph.” Susan wanted to reassure her, but she was not able to convince herself. “You’ll be a very good writer, and I promise you will always be safe.” Would they ever have any privacy again?
Confused by Susan’s sudden disappearance, Maggie gathered her children and the luggage. The media showing up infuriated her. She had no doubts Karl was behind it.
As the crowd closed in, Maggie spoke to Maya. “Hold on to the kids. Head to the door. Susan will probably be right outside.”
Susan circled the terminal while watching for Maggie. A large, noisy crowd burst from the doorway like water too long held behind an earthen dam. At the head of the frantic flow was Maggie, Maya, and two children. Susan quickly pulled up to the entrance and pushed the button to open the side doors of the minivan. The cresting crowd followed. Somehow, everyone managed to get into the van before the swarm reached them.
*
By the time they reached Winter Park, Maggie wanted to shake Susan and ask what the hell was wrong. When they were finally alone at bedtime, she asked, “What’s going on? You’ve hardly talked to me all day.”
“I’m tired, Mags. Can we just let it rest?”
“What happened between going to the airport and coming back from the airport?”
“You.” The answer stunned Maggie. She sat on the edge of the bed while Susan rummaged in a dresser for a pair of socks. “Your need for attention. All those people at the airport. I don’t like losing my life, or interrupting my daughter’s. And your damned need to hide.”
“Susan, do you understand now why I protect my privacy?”
“If you’re going to compare today’s episode with your hiding your sexual orientation, it won’t work.” Susan crossed the room, pacing like an animal stalking its prey.
“I’m talking about privacy,” Maggie spat out. “You’ve just gotten a small taste of what my life is like, and you don’t like it. Well, guess what? I don’t either. I didn’t arrange today. And when I find out who did, I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. I want to keep my kids safe and away from the public. I’m sorry about Cady. I don’t want her, or you, or your mother to have to go through this. Right now there isn’t a damn thing I can do to stop it except be discreet. And control the information people have.”
“I love you, Maggie, and I don’t want to hide. I also want more order in my life.”
“I do too, sweetheart,” Maggie sighed. “I do too.”
Chapter Fifteen
When Maggie needed to return to California, she pleaded with Susan to fly with her. “It’s only for a couple of days. There’s some problem with the tour and Karl wants me back there.”
“I’ve been traveling so much that I’m getting behind at work. Besides, I need to do my Christmas shopping. Maggie, you promised to go shopping with me in New York and we didn’t. You promised we would have some time in Florida. We’ve been here four days and now you want to get on another damn airplane. I need to get caught up at work. I’m getting too far behind in everything. I need to spend some time here.” What I really need, Susan thought, is quiet.
“It’s only for a couple of days.”
“No, Maggie, you have a lot of things to take care of and I have a lot of things to take care of. You’ll be lucky to get everything taken care of in a week. I’m staying here.”
Maggie kept trying up until she left for the airport, but Susan was adamant. She was staying in Florida. She arrived at work early, unlocked the door to the office, stepped in, and closed her eyes. Silence. From the soles of her shoes to the soul of her body, she inhaled the peace and sanity.
Fifteen minutes later Ed arrived and was pleasantly surprised to find her in the office. “Well, how goes it? I’ve got to tell you, the phone has not stopped ringing in the last week. Most of it’s routine business. But for the first time, I have people trying to get my home phone number. The staff has been good at not giving your or my phone number out. Although they’ve had some great—”
“What about my phone number?”
Susan’s stomach began an unearthly dance. Ed turned serious. “Susan, there are some media people trying to track you down. Somehow they have identified you as Ms. Carson’s traveling companion. They want to know more about you and your relationship. Right now, I think they want to know if you are an agent and can set up an interview.”
“How did they get my name and where I worked?” Susan’s blood pressure was rising faster than her breakfast.
“I don’t know. Someone called looking for the woman accompanying M.J. Carson. I haven’t asked any questions. It’s not any of my business.” Ed hesitated. “Is there something you want to talk about?”
Susan didn’t want to lie but she wasn’t sure how to explain about her relationship with Maggie. “Ed, I’m sorry if I—”
“Don’t apologize. I feel like I let my greed get in the way.”
“Ed, no…” Susan was unable to finish her thought.
“Let me take some of the responsibility. Take some time off if you need to.”
“Not yet. There would be twice as much to do.”
By nine, all the staff had arrived and appeared to be in a much more subdued mood. Susan sensed a polite distance every time anyone but Ed came into her office. By noon, she was ready to scream.
At lunch, she cornered Ed. “If your earlier offer still stands, I need to talk.” He nodded. Susan felt like a teenager explaining to her mom why she had stayed out late with a date. “Ed, I apologize if I’ve let you down or put the office in an uncomfortable spot. I am…I have… How do I say this?”
“Maybe I can help. Is there something going on between you and M.J. Carson?”
“It just happened. I can take leave if you want me to.” Susan couldn’t look at Ed. She had never allowed her personal life to mix with her professional. She ran her fingers over the linen in her jacket sleeve. “Life has become complicated, and it looks like it’s affecting work.”
“I suspected something was going on. I noticed the way she looked at you when we went to lunch, the way she talks about you. But she was married. Stereotyping, I guess.”
“I thought the same thing. It’s complicated.”
“I won’t say anything. I owe you an apology. I’ll reassign Ms. Carson if you want, but I don’t have anyone with your abilities. While I’m thrilled about having Carson as a client, you are more important to me. I don’t want you hurt.”
“Ed…” Susan paused to regain her composure. “I…Thank you. Right now, what I need help with most is the office staff.” They discussed the problem and decided directness was the best possible solution, especially with the close working relationships of all the staff.
A hastily arranged meeting drew all the staff into the large conference room. The group was unusually somber.
Ed spoke. “As you know, Susan has been out of the office quite a bit in the last few weeks. She has been the guest of M.J. Carson and her family. As you are also awar
e, we have gotten several new clients recently, partially as a result of M.J. Carson’s agreement with this firm. There have also been phone calls and some questions. We must, at all costs, respect our clients’ privacy. Susan, however, has agreed to answer any questions as long as it doesn’t violate Ms. Carson’s privacy.”
The room was silent as each person waited for someone else to ask the questions they had gossiped about all week. Finally, Carla, one of Susan’s financial assistants, raised her hand and hesitantly asked, “Is Harrison Ford as good looking in person? I heard he was at some party you went to.”
The ice was broken. The friendly, casual work atmosphere returned, but Susan recognized she was now viewed as having some stellar status. She was more than just the bean pusher. Susan accepted the changes with mixed emotions.
*
Maggie faithfully called every evening. Karl had arranged more interviews and publicity events for the movie as well as some pre-tour gigs. The two days lengthened into a week. Susan missed Maggie. One evening as Susan watched Maggie being interviewed on television, she realized how easily the reporter was captivated by M.J. Carson. She knew all too well the sensation. The phone rang, interrupting her thoughts.
“Hi, there,” Maggie whispered. “This is an obscene phone call. Hope I have the right number.”
Susan smiled and leaned back against her chair. “Boy, do you have my number.”
Maggie’s laughter was warm and encouraging. Susan imagined her, her head tossed back, eyes filling with tears, and laughter rolling across those wonderful lips.
“I wish I were there right now. I would take you to bed and make you forget everything but me.”
In that moment, Susan’s life felt empty. Organized, quiet, yes, but empty. “I miss you.” The words were out before her brain could edit them.
