I just stare at him, feeling my heart beat a little in my intangible chest. Something about him saying this apparent un-badass name of mine feels like a memory, even though there’s no real memory accompanying it.
He’s breathing heavily, his eyes hooded a little as he stares at me like he’s thinking the same thing. His eyes flick to my lips, and Lamar sighs loudly.
“The more things change, the more they stay the same. The air in here just got considerably warmer. You four were always pissed or serious when you used her nickname. And she always loved it when you did. She loved angry sex,” Lamar says, smirking.
“I’m really curious about seeing if that’s a real thing,” I tell Kai, gesturing toward the door like it’s an invitation.
He groans before turning his back on me and cursing.
“Wait, Paca is a nickname?” I ask, snapping out of my trance as I look back over.
Jude repeats the question aloud to Lamar, and Lamar nods, eyebrows furrowing.
“Yes. And not your nickname for her. Everyone called her Paca. But the rest of the time you all called her various things. Mostly, however, the four of you seemed to call her one phrase over and over in each life. You used it as a caution in every language you ever learned as mortals. Then you used it when you returned home to hell as a term of endearment.”
“What was it?” I ask immediately, curious what they called me back when they apparently loved me.
Me. The daughter of the Devil.
Ezekiel repeats my question so Lamar can hear it.
“The last language was Romanian, I think, because you’d just come back from mortal lives there before…” Lamar lets his words trail off.
“Before we were killed,” Kai supplies.
Lamar nods, the life drifting from his eyes a little as he gets distant. With a more informed eye, I almost see a reluctance in his gaze to revisit this memory. As though it’s painful for him. My death was painful for him.
“Romanian?” Jude asks, stepping closer as he visibly tenses.
“Yes,” Lamar says with a shrug. “Comoara trădătoare,” he says, causing the air to get sucked from the room. “I think that’s roughly the Romanian translation for treacherous treasure. You always called her that in numerous languages.”
Lamar just stares at us as we all remain still and silent. Well, he’s not staring at me.
“You remember?” Lamar asks, once again sounding hopeful when he reads their expressions wrong.
“No,” Ezekiel says shakily.
“Suddenly that headstone sounds much more endearing than it did a few hours ago,” I tell them quietly. “I almost forgive you for its simplicity now. Almost.”
“If you don’t remember, then why is everyone reacting to that odd endearment?” Lamar asks.
“Because we just realized we’re living a rerun from the longest running show in history, and we have no idea what happened in the rest of the countless seasons before,” I say on an exhale.
Lamar doesn’t hear this, obviously.
“You said Paca was her nickname. What’s her real name?” Jude asks for me, cycling back to that question, since he knows I’ll want to know once I get over the bomb Lamar incidentally set loose.
“Oh, I thought that was obvious by now,” Lamar says, frowning in my direction. “Especially after telling you that you’re the Four Horsemen. Everyone knows you’re the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse.”
“Say what now?” I ask dryly.
“Are you saying she’s the apocalypse?” Gage asks incredulously.
“I’m saying she’s The Apocalypse. Her name is Apocalypse. She puts the in front of it when she wants to remind everyone she’s the only one who can truly level the world. As I said, she’s rather vain that way,” he says jovially as he reuses the one joke that got him a few snickers last time.
No one giggles this time.
It’s not funny anymore.
“My name is Apocalypse?” I ask on a hushed whisper. “As in the end of times for the entire world?”
My four guys look at me, regarding me like they’re waiting to see how to react.
“Now that, I did not see coming at all,” I utter on a shaky breath.
I don’t realize, until Lamar’s eyes widen, water, and clash with mine, that I’ve accidentally turned whole. And apparently I must look exactly the same, since the recognition in his expression is unmistakable.
I guess that explains the horror on most of the people’s faces who could see me in between life and death.
After all, I’m as bad as it fucking gets. I’m sure I have a reputation.
“I take it back,” I say as I swallow hard, my eyes tearing away from Lamar to look at each of my guys individually. “I don’t want a badass name.”
Chapter 14
“Paca,” Lamar says on a choked sound, causing me to turn back to him as a lone tear rolls down his cheek.
He opens his mouth to say more, but only a strained sound comes out. I guess believing and seeing are two different things in this case, because he almost looks like he can’t believe what he’s seeing, when he believed it before this moment with no problem.
“How do you have your own body?” he asks on a shaky breath, his eyes trailing down and…then his head jerking back as confusion creases his features. “And what the hell are you wearing?” he asks, less reverent and more incredulous.
I glance down, remembering I am indeed still wearing the sexy Devil costume.
“An outfit that wasn’t quite so ironic when initially chosen,” I say absently.
His grin spreads so wide, and tears wobble in his eyes as he laughs so genuinely that it warms me.
“You said Lucifer knew. Who else knows?” Jude asks him, moving closer.
Lamar blinks, returning his attention to him. “Too many people have likely figured it out. Especially since the trials. The second trial always ends up killing the echo quads, even though they put the rumor out there that some survive.”
“Echo quads?” Ezekiel asks him. “You keep mentioning that.”
Lamar grabs some books from behind him, and he starts putting them on the desk as he talks.
“Echo quads. There are so many echoes. The Gemini Twins were the first pair. Their echoed pairs are stronger than echoed quads. Echoes don’t have the same fierce bond as the originals—you. There was one obstacle to always drive out the posers in case the four of you ever returned home. You’d never leave a man behind.”
My mind flicks back to Kai’s injured leg, and the terrible options we had at hand. They would have died beside him before leaving him behind.
He hands them a book, and Gage warily takes it.
“That one is everything on your origins,” Lamar tells him.
“It’s blank,” Gage says as he opens it.
“It’s the only one. We never wanted anyone else trying to recreate the four of you. If you want to read it, spill your blood and start reading. The words will appear in whatever language you choose,” Lamar tells him distractedly as he grabs what looks like a journal.
“These are all my notes on you and several other sets of quads I suspected to be…well, you,” Lamar tells Ezekiel, handing it to him.
Ezekiel takes it and tucks it into the back of his jeans, not looking directly at me.
“These will tell you all her purities and impurities so you can understand her better,” Lamar tells them as he hands Jude a thinner book.
“Say what now?” I ask, holding my hand up.
Lamar grins over at me a little sadly.
“You have no memories at all?” he asks quietly.
“I have certain bits of knowledge, but no memories.”
He nods slowly, as though that’s finally sinking in. “Then I should warn you not to trust anyone on the surface. Right now, the ones who remember you want you dead. Again. And they’ll kill your boys to get to you. You’re all weaker topside.”
My stomach tilts.
“If they die, do they heal l
ike I did?” I ask.
“I’m not really sure what will happen to them, to be honest. Their bodies were destroyed, and since you’d given them each a piece of your balance as protection, you made them as immortal and untouchable as you were—back then. Now? You spent a month healing topside for an injury that could have been instantly healed here. I’m not sure if they still hold that piece of you,” Lamar tells me honestly. “Because I have no idea how you did any of this.”
His eyes stay on mine, seeming to want to say more, but holding back for whatever reason. I’m not sure if it’s because he doesn’t want to say it in front of them, or because he’s worried about overwhelming me, or if he’s hiding something.
All three are valid and reasonable options.
“How did I give them a piece of my balance to keep them safe?” I ask him.
His lips curve in a grin. “It figures that’d be the first question you ask. You see, when you gave them that piece of you, you said you started to feel more. Soon, the five of you were inseparable. Those pieces pulled your souls into one bond, and it made you all invincible. Or so we thought. But it certainly made you all…better.”
“The piece is still in all of us,” Gage says quietly. “That’s why it was so hard to fight.”
“Gee, thanks for making it sound like I forced you into this, when I clearly just saved your lives,” I state dryly.
He cracks a grin at me, cupping my chin and letting his thumb roll over my cheek. He leans down, his lips ghosting my cheek as he reaches my ear and whispers too quietly for anyone else to hear.
“I’m not complaining. I’m just glad to finally have answers. You really are ours,” he says, his fingers moving across my neck so sweetly yet erotically at the same time.
“Actually, you’re really all mine,” I counter softly, my eyes fluttering shut when his lips brush softly against my skin.
“Just curious, for the sake of old times, who’s her current favorite?” Lamar asks.
“I am,” Jude says, at the same time I dreamily say, “Gage.”
Gage grins, Jude arches an eyebrow, and I shrug unapologetically.
Lamar laughs like he’s delighted and watching his favorite show that just came back for a reunion.
I really need to quit comparing our hell squad drama to TV shows.
“Hera knows, which is why she tossed in the aviary reptiles—or, bird-snakes, as you would probably call them—into the third trials. You always hated their tails for some reason,” Lamar says, causing everyone to smirk as they glance at me.
“We’re still supposed to be tensing when he says something that resonates. Not smirking,” I tell the four of them.
Lamar’s grin only grows as he continues to carefully select books, moving from one to another to decide which ones we need.
“Cain figured it out after the twins swore on their harem they weren’t the ones to drop his pants and humiliate him in front of the Trials, no less. They pointed a finger at you,” he goes on. “They’re the reason the other quads got through the second trials, because they were fucking with Lucifer’s game. They’re smarter because they share a brain.”
For some reason, I almost smile, thinking about Cain’s rage as he chased those two. I was so proud of something so petty.
“Sibling rivalry always did make you smile,” Lamar tells me as he hands Kai a book. “Manella, of course knows.”
My face falls. “Yeah, because you’re a gossiping little girl who ran off to tell him they said she.”
It’s an accusation with a little too much heat of betrayal that I shouldn’t feel. Lamar’s grin only grows.
“I’m sorry. Manella didn’t ever really believe me when I said I felt you. He hoped they were yours, but it was a faint hope. Only you could have found a way to save them.” His smile slips. “For whatever reason, he said there was no way you could ever come back.”
Tension spreads through the air, and my gaze subtly drifts over to see my guys all going a little rigid. Manella is back on the suspect list now.
Lamar doesn’t notice as he continues to gather books, moving on from the harder topic and onto trying to jog a memory.
“I’m fairly sure Lilith doesn’t know, because she’d have never touched Kai at the party if she had. She didn’t fear her own sister very often, but one of the guys would have really made her suffer back then,” Lamar goes on.
Kai smirks as his hand slides down my back, and he takes a seat on the edge of the chair I’m in, almost as though he’s soothing me from the instant jealousy in my gut.
“She’s trying to restock her own harem, since the twins just recycled them all a little before the trials. She always keeps four in her harem, same as you.”
I freeze. “What?”
The guys clear their throats and try to mask their smiles.
Lamar turns and looks at me. “You always had four in your harem. Before them, you had a series of really underwhelming males who could be seduced and lured away by Lilith, easily killed by Cain or the twins, and constantly trying to get into Hera’s harem without her seduction. After all, beauty is her main purity.”
A growl slips from my lips, and Lamar smirks like he knew it was coming.
“You, my dear, are made up of a lot of envy and just the right amount of beauty,” he assures me. It’s not really reassuring.
“That’s all?” I ask in horror.
Lamar laughs like I’m thoroughly entertaining him this evening.
“Of course not,” he finally says around his chuckles.
“I’m still hung up on the fact we’re her harem,” Kai tells me, his hand still stroking my back as a grin flirts with his lips.
“That makes it sound far more scandalous than having four lovers,” I point out. “I sort of like it.”
I finally think of something really important.
“Lamar, why do they go into a trance when I change into this?” I ask as I go phantom and change into the Egyptian Princess outfit before turning whole again.
The guys…don’t go into a trance. Not even Ezekiel, and he missed it the first time. It makes me look like a liar. Weirdly, I take offense to feeling like a liar.
It’s weird because I’m the DEVIL’S FUCKING DAUGHTER and THE APOCALYPSE, but being thought of as a liar irks me. My priorities are so messed up.
“Okay, so last time I had to change into a dolphin because they lost their minds,” I assure him. “I’m not a liar.”
Lamar isn’t smiling. He swallows hard as he snaps his fingers. Something with a tarp over it lands in the room, and he clears his throat as he walks to it.
“It was an echo of a memory. Sometimes, if you don’t have the memory, you can still have a strong reaction to the echo of a memory. Like you all seem to have been doing with whatever similar things cross paths from then to now,” he goes on.
He tugs the tarp off, and my breath catches as I look at the woman in the painting. It’s me. With different hair. And four guys are all crowded around me, looking just as menacing as the four in this room. But that’s where the similarities end.
The four men in the image are harder, but just as attractive in different ways. Standing up, I go to kneel in front of the painting, my fingers tracing over each one of them.
The outfit I’m wearing in the painting matches the exact outfit I’m wearing now.
“They were your harem when you were Cleopatra,” Lamar finally says. “It was one of your favorite lives. You all loved that life, except for War. He didn’t get to be the favorite as often in that life.”
Two strong arms come around me, drawing me to a hard body, and I know without looking it’s Ezekiel.
I stare at the picture for a minute longer.
“Why is it here instead of in that hall?” I ask him.
Lamar sighs heavily. “The only ones who know you ever really existed are the ones who were alive five hundred years ago when you were killed. The Apocalypse stopped being considered a person by anyone younger than your death.”
Five hundred years ago.
Five. Hundred. Years. Ago.
And we were already planning for the freaking nineties?
“Because,” Lamar goes on, “for the past five hundred years, no one has been able to utter your name. Lucifer made it a law when he started going crazy from suffering the loss of his favorite child. Even Manella didn’t dare utter your name, and he’s your favorite brother. It hurt him the hardest.”
I’m not even asking. I just can’t right now. Round and round the conspiracy theories go every time he drops a new bomb that changes the suspect pool.
Ezekiel pulls me closer, forcing me to turn around in his arms and let him hug me.
“Manella will be coming down any minute now. They’ve been in a meeting. You should go before he comes, or face your father if you’re ready,” Lamar says a little too hopefully, like he expects me to move back in today and pick up where I left off, when I can’t even remember where that is.
“I died a month ago,” I say to him. “I just got back today and found out I’m the Devil’s daughter, the end of the world, and apparently died five hundred years ago from a mysterious cause that is no doubt linked to hell. I think I’m going home to process for a while. It’s sort of been a shitastic month.”
He clears his throat, blinking as though he just realized exactly the load he’s dumped on me.
“Of course,” he tells me, smiling tightly. He grabs something from a bag and hands it to the guys. Jude accepts it as Lamar explains, “That’s enough power to cloak the entire home, should you choose to move its location. It’ll do that. It’s from Paca’s own stash.”
“Don’t ask that question, or we’ll never get out of here,” I tell Kai as he opens his mouth to ask a question, having already gravitated to my side. He looks at me, his mouth closing as he swallows the curiosity, and I add, “And I’m not ready to meet my family.”
“I can’t give you access to the underworld. Only Lucifer can do that.” Lamar stares at me with a smirk. “But she has access already. She’s still the same, unlike you four.”
Pushing away from Ezekiel, I start backing out. Ezekiel grabs another stack of the books that Lamar didn’t even offer, following behind me. Lamar just grins like he expected that.
Three Trials Page 15
