by Parnell Hall
“If that’s the case, the doctor will determine it.”
“What doctor?”
“The doctor at the U.S. Embassy in Lusaka.”
“You sent the body to the U.S. Embassy?”
“I have to. When an American tourist dies on safari, the consulate steps in.”
“What if it turns out she was poisoned?”
“It will make a huge difference how she was poisoned. If she was given arsenic, that’s one thing. If she ate a poison plant, that’s another. A poison plant could be accidental.”
“I fail to see how.”
“I understand she ate a lot last night. If a plant got in her salad.”
“How would a plant get in her salad?”
“I have no idea.”
Clemson was sitting in a chair by the campfire, drinking a Coke Lite. I had declined the offer of one and was standing. The rest of the tourists had gone out. The death of Alice 2 was certainly sad, but no one came to Africa to go into mourning. Not considering the price of airfare. The morning walk wasn’t canceled. It went out late, and it was changed to a game drive, but it went out.
Duke was questioning the staff again, which seemed an empty gesture. If anyone had killed Alice 2, it was us.
“Did you hear what she was saying at dinner?” I said.
“I did not hear what she was saying at dinner. I heard what you said she was saying at dinner.”
“Are you deliberately being annoying?”
“Not at all. I stayed back from the game drive because I have to. I’m in charge. You, on the other hand, should by all rights be bumping along in a jeep looking for lions.”
“Give me a break. Daniel’s killed. Alice 2 starts shooting her mouth off about how one of us must have done it.”
“Alice 2?”
“I don’t know her last name. The Alice I’m not married to. The dead woman. She was saying one of us must have done it. Moreover, she was saying some of us must know something that would shed some light on who did it. If the killer heard that, and the killer thought she was right, then the killer would know she had to go.”
“So he fed her a lethal dose of poison plants?”
“Or slipped her arsenic. The poison plants are your idea.”
“The whole idea of poison is yours,” Clemson said.
“Based on the physical evidence.”
“Based on your interpretation of the physical evidence. Pardon me if I missed something, but I don’t believe you’re that type of detective, are you?”
“Not at all. But I’ve been at a lot of crime scenes. I’ve seen enough dead bodies I don’t even throw up any more.”
Clemson looked at me with distaste. “I have not seen a lot of dead bodies. We hadn’t had many until you showed up.”
“What are you implying?”
“I’m not implying anything.”
“If you’re implying I’m the killer, you’re admitting there’s a killer.”
“I think you’re having too much fun with this.”
“I’m not having fun with this. You know how many vacations I’ve had in my life? One. This one. Alice and I have never taken a trip out of the country before. This is not how I expected to spend it.”
“Then you better be damn careful with your accusations of murder. If this is a murder, your trip is toast. How’d you like to be hauled into the embassy and grilled as suspects?”
“My wife would never forgive me.”
“There you are.”
“Is Duke going to question the tourists?”
“He’s not equipped to do so.”
“Are you?”
“I’m not in a position to do so either.”
“I see.”
“That doesn’t mean you should.”
“That doesn’t I shouldn’t.”
Clemson frowned. “If you want to ask questions, I can’t stop you. But if you could refrain from spreading rumors.”
“Like the rumors about Daniel?”
“There’s no proof he was killed either.”
“And yet Duke is investigating.”
“On your say-so. Which is the same reason Alice was investigating.”
“You concede she was?”
“Concede?” Clemson made a face. “Must you treat this like a game? The woman died. We’re investigating because we have to. But that doesn’t mean we think that she was killed.”
For my money, he was trying awfully hard to sound like he believed it.
21
GO ASK ALICE
“WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY?” Alice demanded.
“Hi, hello, how are you, how was your drive?” I said.
“Don’t be a jerk. Did you have any luck with Clemson?”
“Not a lot. Clemson doesn’t think she was murdered. If she was, he thinks I did it.”
Alice groaned. “Oh, for goodness sakes. What did you say to deserve that?”
“It’s not my fault. I was polite.”
“Dealing with strangers polite, or the way you talk to MacAullif?”
Sergeant MacAullif was the police officer with whom I’d dealt in a number of homicides. Polite conversation with him consisted of hurling sarcastic vulgarities at each other.
“I was on my best behavior. If he took offense, he’s thin-skinned.”
Alice was thoroughly dissatisfied with that answer. I quickly changed the subject. “What about you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did you question people?’
“I’m not the detective.”
“You’re very perceptive. You have good instincts.”
“What do you want?”
“What do you mean?”
“Your whole toadying routine. You start flattering me, you must want something.”
What I wanted was for Alice to stop assessing my performance with Clemson, and I’m pretty sure she knew it. I wondered if she was beating me up for practice. But I wasn’t about to say that.
“Come on, Alice, it must have been the topic of conversation. What happened on the game drive?”
“Oh. Well, I was in Mowangi’s group. That was the larger party.”
“Six?”
“Five. We didn’t have you. John’s group was four. He didn’t have Clemson or Alice. We had Victoria and Annabel and Keith and Jason.”
“Jason?”
“The man traveling with Keith.”
By process of elimination I had come to the realization that Victoria and Annabel were the sisters formerly known as Lolita and Lolita’s mother. How long it would take me to live down that ignominy I had no idea. Luckily, Alice didn’t know that was how I designated them. She just thought I was too dumb to know which was the young sexy one. I’m just glad she didn’t know how well I knew which was the young sexy one.
“And what did they say?” I ventured noncommittally.
“It was hard to talk to Annabel and Victoria together. Annabel has to be constantly vigilant Victoria’s not making a spectacle of herself. Even you must have noticed how nervous she is.”
“I have. I just didn’t know it was that.”
“Please. The woman’s a nervous wreck. Anyway, the drive was particularly strained because Victoria and Keith were together. I don’t mean together, but in the same group. So I had to deal with that on top of the Alice situation.”
“Oh, dear.”
“What?”
“Has it come to that? Are we really referring to it as the Alice situation?”
“Well, you haven’t determined it’s a murder yet, have you?”
“It’s not my job. Clemson’s waiting for the medical report.”
“Will there be one?”
“So he says. When it’s an American tourist the consulate gets touchy.”
“Well no one thinks it’s a murder except Annabel, who’s scared of shadows. Victoria thinks it’s silly. So do Keith and Jason.”
“What do they think happened?”
“She died in her sleep. Or accidently a
te a poison plant.”
“That’s Clemson’s idea too.”
“Really?”
“If it was poison. And he’s not conceding it is. What else did you get?”
“What do you mean?”
“Who was close to her?”
“Well, none of them. They weren’t really her type.”
“What’s her type?”
“She was older. She read murder mysteries.”
“The librarians read murder mysteries.”
“What?”
“The other women traveling together. They’re librarians, and they read murder mysteries and discuss ’em on the Internet.”
“Do people really do that?”
“Apparently.”
“Some people have way too much time on their hands.”
“Yeah. I didn’t really mean were they in her circle of acquaintances. She thought there was something suspicious about Daniel’s death. She mentioned asking people about it. I was wondering if she did. Did she talk to any of them?”
“They all say no.”
“That’s interesting.”
“Why?”
“Well, we know she talked to someone.”
“How do we know that?”
“Because she’s dead.”
“So that’s your theory.”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Yes.”
It’s amazing how she does that. Manages to contradict me with a single syllable. She does it by agreeing with me. When Alice agrees with me, something’s wrong. If Alice agreed with me, it was time to reevaluate my entire position.
In this case it was easy. The idea that Alice 2 was killed for poking into Daniel’s death was obvious.
That didn’t make it true.
22
QUESTIONS
I HAD A PROBLEM AT lunch. My problem was I wanted to question people about Alice 2. But if I questioned the ones Alice had already questioned, it would seem like I didn’t trust her judgment. The number of good husband points that might cost me was incalculable. Still, I couldn’t compromise a murder investigation for the sake of my own wellbeing. Alice would be mad if I did. So there I was, once again, caught in a no-win situation. My default position.
I sidled up to Hells Angel #2, said, “Hey, babe, how’s it going?”
She looked at me to see if I’d taken leave of my senses, caught the twinkle in my eye. “It isn’t going well, that’s for sure. Except to the game drive. We actually saw a lion.”
“Really?”
“He ran away.”
“So you have no photographic evidence.”
“I’m afraid not. You’ll have to take my word for it.”
“Among other things.”
“Huh?”
“Were people talking about Alice?”
“Of course.”
“What is the general consensus?”
“She died in her sleep.”
“Really?”
“You think she was killed?”
“Do you?”
“I have no idea.”
“Well, that’s not exactly true, is it?” I said.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Come, come. You read murder mysteries and discuss them on the Internet. You have a friend who does the same thing. Surely you’ve discussed the possibility.”
“Well, we’ve discussed it, but that doesn’t mean we believe it. Right, Edith?”
Hells Angel #1 sat down with us. “Doesn’t mean we believe what?”
“It doesn’t mean we think Alice was killed. Yeah, we read murder mysteries. So what? So did she.”
“And that’s significant,” I said.
Hells Angel #1, who I now knew to be Edith, looked at me. “Are you saying you think we’re in danger?”
“I think we should all be on our guard. But that’s not what I meant. Last night Alice talked about murder investigations, and questioning people, and people with clues who knew something they didn’t even know was important. She even mentioned Agatha Christie.”
“So?”
“Neither one of you jumped in.”
They looked at each other.
Edith said, “She was talking about that poor boy’s death as if it were a game. As if it were just for our amusement. We’d have felt uncomfortable joining in.”
I frowned.
Edith said, “You can’t understand that?”
“People aren’t always that nice.”
“They should be.”
“Yes, they should. Tell me, do you have the same scruples regarding Alice’s murder?”
“You think it’s a murder?”
“Don’t you?”
“It’s a little different,” Edith said. “You have a young boy who never hurt anyone. And then you have a woman on a murder hunt.”
“You think she was killed because of it?”
“I have no idea.”
“But you grant the possibility?”
“Of course.”
“Then you have to concede the possibility Daniel’s death was a murder. Investigating Daniel’s murder wouldn’t scare anyone if there’s no murderer.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Edith said.
“Why not?”
“Suppose someone has something else to hide? She pokes around and comes up with it. It has nothing to do with the death of that young boy. But if it’s something someone doesn’t want revealed, they might kill to cover it up.”
I was impressed. That was a more logical line of reasoning than I’d come up with. I suddenly realized that that was what Alice meant when she undermined my confidence by agreeing with me. “You have any idea what that might be?”
“Of course not.”
“What about the couple you were out with with this morning? Did you talk to them?”
“Of course we talked to them,” Hells Angel #2 said. I wished Edith would address her by name. “It would be rude to ignore them.”
“And?”
“What?”
I realized it was like talking to Alice. “And what did they say about Alice’s murder?”
“No one said it was a murder.”
“Alice’s death.”
“They weren’t concerned. They figured she died in her sleep.”
“They were a little concerned,” Hells Angel #2 amended. “Simon asked—”
“His name is Simon?”
“Of course.”
“And her name?”
“Her name is Trish. Simon and Trish.”
“And Trish wasn’t concerned but Simon was?”
“He was jumpy. Nervous. But I’m sure it wasn’t about that.”
“If you ask me,” Edith said, “the one who was really bothered by her death was Mowangi.”
“Mowangi?” I said. “Why do you say that?”
“I don’t know. But he was a little off his game. Like I asked what some bird was and he hadn’t seen it.”
“So he missed some bird or other.”
“But he’s always seen it. He prides himself on seeing it. Haven’t you noticed that?”
“We usually went with John.”
“Well, if you ask me who’s taking it hardest, it’s him.”
“Fine,” I said. “But the guy—” I groped for the name. “Simon. You said he was jumpy?”
“Yes. But he always seems a little jumpy.”
That was interesting. I waited until Simon got up to get something from the buffet table, and walked over and sat in his spot.
Trish was surprised to see me. “Ah, my husband’s sitting there.”
“Yeah, right,” I said. I made no attempt to get up. “Tell me about the morning drive.”
She blinked. “What about it?”
“Clemson and I missed it. I’m wondering how it was.”
“Nothing special.”
“Really. One of us just died. Or didn’t you notice?”
“I thought you meant what we saw. And it was nothing special.”
&nb
sp; Simon returned with a plate of food. Saw me sitting there. Stopped. Cleared his throat. “Excuse me. I was sitting there.”
“Yes,” I said. “I was just talking to Trish about the morning drive. She says it was nothing special.”
“Well, it wasn’t.”
“Yeah. As I pointed out to Trish, there weren’t many of us on it. Your jeep only had four people.”
“Look, that’s my seat.”
“You were kind of nervous on the morning drive. Was that because someone had been killed?”
“No one was killed. An old lady died in her sleep.”
“She wasn’t that old.”
“Old enough. You can’t live forever.”
“What were you so worried about?”
“I wasn’t worried!” Simon almost shouted it. “Why are you asking so many questions? First her, then you.”
“Her?”
He looked flustered. After a moment, he said, “My wife asks a lot of questions.”
“I wasn’t asking questions,” Trish protested.
“I didn’t say you were asking a lot of questions. I said you do ask a lot of questions. Which is a good thing. It’s how you learn. What would be the point of coming all this way if we didn’t learn?”
“What did Alice ask you?”
“Nothing. She didn’t ask me anything.”
“How about you, Trish?”
“The whole idea was upsetting. I didn’t speak to her.”
“At all?”
“No. I went back to my tent after dinner.”
“And you?”
Simon took a breath. “I resent you asking these questions. And you’re sitting in my seat.”
“Oh. Why didn’t you say so?”
I got up and walked away, leaving him standing there with egg on his face.
Lolita/Victoria grabbed my arm and pulled me aside. Her mother/sister wasn’t around.
Neither was Alice. Talking to the girl outside of her presence was most likely a disaster of epic proportions. But I was conducting a murder investigation. And she was the one who pulled me aside. Though there wasn’t a woman alive on the planet would be satisfied with the well-she-wanted-it defense.
“You have to help me,” she said. “You’re the only one I can trust.”
Oh, god. Kill me now.
“What’s the matter?”
“It’s my sister.”
“What about her?”
