by Celia Loren
"Mm," I reply, rolling over to look at her.
Her face is wet with tears.
"Beth…" I murmur, trying to wipe her cheek dry with my thumb.
"I killed him, Ford," she says in a strangled whisper.
"Who?" I frown. "Who did you kill?"
"My stepfather. I killed my stepfather."
Chapter 20 – Marie
"Don't tell anyone, please," I beg him. "I shouldn't have told you." I bury my face in the pillow.
"Hey, it's alright," he murmurs. "He hurt you, didn't he?"
"He tried," she replies. "He used to hit my mom. Sometimes when it was really bad, he'd take out one of his guns and hold it to her head. And then when I turned fourteen, he started to look at me funny. We all lived together in a trailer, so there was no way to avoid him. He'd pretend to accidentally walk in on me when I was changing, or need to pass by me to get something and put his hands on my ass…"
"Did you tell your mom?"
I nod. "She thought I was being dramatic. And it didn't help that the two of them were on meth most of the time. That's when I started to learn how to fight. There was this place I'd go down the street from school. When they were out of the trailer, I'd take out Jimmy's guns and learn how to use them in the woods around where we lived. Then I'd take out the bullets and hide them so he couldn't use it on my mom."
"Tough kid," he comments, pushing a piece of hair out of my face.
"It was okay like that for a while," I tell him. "But he just kept coming after me. One night he came home when I was there trying to do homework, and my mom was out, and he kissed me. I froze up, and he tried to get his hands under my shirt."
"Is that when you did it?"
"No, that's when I started sleeping outside. I made myself a little campsite out there. The kids at school started to tease me because I'd smell. Every now and then the janitor would forget to close a window in the gym, so sometimes I'd sneak into the locker rooms to shower and sleep in one of the classrooms."
"I think I would have gone crazy," Ford says.
"I did, a little. Maybe more than a little. I'd sneak back into the trailer every couple of days when I knew my mom and Jimmy would be out, but one night, Jimmy was there. He was passed out in the bed. His knuckles were bloody, and there was blood on my mom's towel, so I could tell he'd been hitting her. I just stared at him as he lay there in bed, stinking of vodka, drool pouring out of his mouth, and I thought how much better it would be if he didn't exist. My mom and I could just go back to normal.
"I didn't really think about it any further than that. It all felt really simple. I turned the gas on the stove on, then found some nasty leftovers in the fridge with tin foil covering them, and stuck that in the microwave. I made sure all the windows were closed, then set the microwave for five minutes, and left him there. I sat in the woods to wait, and to make sure my mom didn't come home before it happened.
"There was a little light, the flame from when the tin foil sparked in the microwave I think, but it only lasted a second. Then there was a big explosion, and it was done." I stare up at the ceiling for a moment, feeling exhausted.
"Did they suspect you?"
"No, all the neighbors told the cops Jimmy was an idiot and probably set fire to the trailer smoking meth or something."
"It was self-defense," Ford says.
"No, it wasn't. I had taken myself out of danger. I killed him in cold blood."
"I don't blame you. You were a kid, and he'd made your life unlivable."
"I don't get to make choices about who lives or dies. That's not up to me, or anybody else. I've spent my life since then trying to be good, trying to make up for what I did."
"If I'd known you then, I probably would've killed him, too."
I pause, looking into the depths of his eyes. "You've killed before, haven't you?"
He nods, slowly. "I have."
"You remember all of them?"
"I do. And I still wonder about my decision in each case. But I was a trained soldier. You were a kid, and the bastard had been beating your mom and coming after you."
Another tear slips down my cheek. "It didn't even matter. I mean, I thought she'd go back to normal. Jimmy was the one who had got her on drugs, so I thought without him…but by then she was already hooked. She never really felt like my mom after that."
"Did she know?"
"I don't think so. Maybe. I was so angry at her for grieving for him, this guy who'd beaten her and tried to fuck her daughter. We don't talk anymore." I use the top of the sheet to wipe my face. "It's okay if you want me to leave."
"That's the only crazy thing you've said tonight. You think I don't have my share of darkness in me?"
"But I—"
"No one can say what a person is capable of if they're pushed far enough. And you were pushed pretty fucking far."
"So you don't hate me?"
"No, I don't hate you," Ford whispers, and stretches his arm around my shoulders, then pulls me against him. I bury my face against his chest, feeling like a weight has been lifted from me. "You never told anyone else?" I shake my head no. "Why me?"
"I guess I just thought you'd understand," I murmur, raising my head to look at him. He looks back at me, and for the first time in my life, I feel truly seen. The good parts of me, and the bad.
He bends his head down, and gently kisses me. I open my mouth to his. He moves tentatively, unsure if I want him in this moment, but I do. I slip my tongue into his mouth to let him know. I feel him surge against me, but he still moves slowly.
His hands slide against my bare legs, rubbing my skin, wanting to make sure I'm ready. My legs fall open and my head relaxes against my pillow. Ford leans up on one elbow, still kissing me, and begins to drag his fingers up my inner thighs.
As his fingers slide against my wetness, he leans his head back to watch my face. I close my eyes and concentrate on the feeling of his touch on my clit. He circles me slowly, carefully, then begins to speed up, flicking me back and forth. My back begins to arch off the bed and my breathing becomes uneven.
I feel him pull his hand away, and open my eyes. He's taking his boxers off, so I slip the big t-shirt I'm wearing up and off my head. When he turns back around, he takes in my bare breasts as I settle back onto the bed. He bends his head down and sucks one of my nipples into his mouth. I moan, and run my hands through his long, unruly hair. His hand moves back to my slit, and he presses a finger inside of me and circles it around and around against my g-spot.
I press my knees to the mattress. "Oh, Ford," I groan.
He raises his head and moves over and onto his knees, sliding his legs between mine. I look down at his hard, erect cock, and watch as he lines it up with my opening. He slowly presses his hips in, and his member disappears inside me. My eyes flutter as I feel him fill me up.
I reopen them to take in his long muscular torso, and the scars and tattoos that mark his hard-lived life. I look up to his eyes, and catch the dangerous glint that I always see in them. But he doesn't scare me anymore. He leans down, resting himself on his elbows on either side of my shoulders, but without letting go of eye contact. I wrap my legs around his back, and he begins to thrust in and out of me.
I'm ready to come, but I want to wait for him. I bite my lip, trying to hold back.
"Go on, I want to see it," Ford whispers in my ear. It doesn't take anything more than that; my body ripples with an orgasm, pleasure filling up every inch of me. As I begin to retreat from the high, I feel him still hard and still inside me. "You are so fucking sexy," he whispers. "You want more?"
"Yes, yes," I breathe. He slowly pulls out and drives in again, taking his time to build up his pace again. I grip his shoulders as the pleasure threatens to overwhelm me. He moves one of his hands to my ass and tilts it upward. I cry out as he hits an entirely new set of nerves. He begins to sweat, and I greedily reach my mouth for his, opening my lips wide to accept his tongue.
I feel completely enveloped my him, complete
ly taken, as his body thrusts in and out of the most intimate parts of me. A moan builds in the back of my throat and I have to tear my lips from his as it bursts from my mouth as a scream of pleasure. Ford grunts, and his eyes bore into me. I hold his gaze as we come against each other, our bodies rocking together in a mutual orgasm.
Chapter 21 - Ford
Beth gives my chest a squeeze as we pull up to the compound. I nod to Marsh and Rhonda as I hop off my bike and reach back to help Beth. Rhonda gives Beth an excited hug.
"It's so good to see you! Are we still on for dinner next Saturday?" she asks.
"Yep!" Beth replies, glancing back toward me. "We're looking forward to it."
"Come with me to the bathroom," Rhonda says, pulling her toward the door. "I got a new tattoo I want to show you."
"You're coming around more," Marsh says, clapping me on the back as Rhonda and Beth disappear inside.
"Am I? Hadn't noticed," I reply honestly. We head around the side of the building to the backyard. The weather's warmed up and a couple of bonfires light up the night. My brothers hang out, drinking beers, and there are hot women everywhere I look. I grin, reminded of why I joined the Death Dealers in the first place. "I'll grab you a drink," I tell Marsh, heading over to one of the coolers.
As I head over, I spot a familiar face looking back at me. Vicki turns, pulls two bottles out, and expertly flicks the tops off.
"Well, well," she says, handing them to me.
"Vicki," I say, brushing a kiss on her cheek. "Where've you been?"
"Had to get my tits redone," she says, pulling her shirt tight against them.
"Can't say I noticed anything wrong with them before," I say.
"I'll spare you the details, but let's just say someone squeezed the left one a little too hard."
"Fuck," I reply with a wince.
"But now I'm back and better than ever. My tips at the Spot have increased by twenty-five percent."
"So it sounds like it was a wise investment."
"Tanya keeps asking after you."
"Who?"
Vicki chortles. "Tanya? We had a threesome together a few months ago?" she reminds me.
"Oh, fuck, that's right. How's she doing?"
"Still lovesick after you. She thought about becoming a sweet butt, but I told her I didn't think she had the constitution." She takes a swig of her own beer. "So, what do you think of them?" she asks, swiveling her torso.
I look down at her high, round tits and sigh. "They're a beautiful sight."
She grins and leans against me, pressing her chest against my arm. "What do you say we head inside? You can be the first to try them out."
I lick my lips as I look down at her breasts, and feel my cock harden. I know we'd have a good time, but I also know it wouldn't compare to what I get up to with Beth.
"You're sure taking a long time to decide," Vicki notes, raising one eyebrow.
"Sorry… it's just, there's this girl."
"Holy shit. You have a girl?"
"I guess I do," I reply, scratching my head. "Can't say I've ever been in this position before."
"So who is she?" Vicki asks. I scan the backyard until I spot her, her hair auburn hair lit up red by the fire she's sitting next to.
"Her name's Beth," I say, as I point her out to Vicki.
Vicki whistles. "Cute. Real cute. You going to make it official?"
"What, give her my patch?" I ask in surprise. "Damn, I never thought about it. I mean, I never thought about giving anyone my patch. Just didn't think it was for me."
"Well, you've never turned me down before, so it seems like there must be something different with this one. She like the club life?"
"I think so. She's always happy to come here."
"I'd lock it down, if I were you," Vicki advises. "Oo, I better hit the road. See you around," she says, hurrying toward the back door of the compound. I look around, wondering what made her run off like that, and spot Taz walking toward me. He frowns after her, then reaches into the cooler for a beer.
"You just make friends wherever you go, don't you?" I ask him.
"What, you call dibs on that one, too?" Taz replies snidely.
"Nope, just the one," I reply, my jaw twitching.
"Well, let me know when you're tired of her," Taz says with a smile. "But if you ask me, there's something wrong with her."
"If you're referring to the fact that Beth wouldn't fuck you, I've always considered that a point in her favor," I reply, and quickly walk away. If I stay one second longer, I'm going to snap his neck.
Beth smiles at me as I walk toward her. She slips off the log where she's been sitting and onto the ground. I slip onto the log behind her, then she leans back against me, wrapping her arms around my legs. It feels comfortable, easy, though still with that undercurrent of desire I always feel when she's near me.
I bend down to whisper in her ear, "You like it here, right?" She tilts her head back to look up at me.
"Of course. Why?"
"Nothing," I reply, and sit back. She looks at me for a moment longer, then smiles and turns back to the rest of the people around the fire.
I rest my hand on the back of her neck and rub my thumb across her soft skin as I stare into the flames, thinking about what Vicki said. Things do feel different with Beth than they have with anyone else. Giving my patch to a woman never felt right for me before, but I do like the looks of what Marsh and Rhonda have, or even Tank and Liz.
But would I be missing out on anything by tying myself down? Not that there are many woman in this county I haven't already fucked, and being with Beth doesn't feel like tying myself down. Actually, I feel freer when I'm with her.
Beth leans her head onto my knee as she laughs at something Marsh said. I try the opposite route, imagining life without her instead of with her, and immediately stop. I don't like the way it looks.
Maybe I'd already made the decision before Vicki even brought it up. Beth is everything I've ever wanted in a woman: gorgeous, smart, sexy, and tough as nails. I know everything about her, and she knows everything about me. It's time to give her my patch. Now I just have to think of the right way to do it.
Chapter 22 – Drew
I drive by Marie's apartment building. No sign of her car. I try the burner I gave her. Nothing. I hit the steering with the heel of my hand. It's been a week, and not even a peep from her.
Dammit. I don't want to do this, but she's giving me no choice. I pull a U-turn, and head downtown. A few minutes later, and I'm sitting outside the Devil's Keep. If she's still keeping the same schedule, she should be starting her shift her soon.
I wait, scanning the street. A motorcycle drives by me, then pulls over to the sidewalk in front of the Keep. I stiffen as Marie hops off the back. She giggles, then throws her arms around the neck of the driver. He pulls her close, and they kiss. This must be Ford. I watch her fingers dig into his hair, and feel like jumping out of my car and dragging her back to the Fort Brynard police station.
She finally pulls away from her, and I watch as they talk. She looks relaxed. Actually, she's positively glowing. What the fuck.
Finally, after another quick kiss, she heads inside, and Ford drives off. I wait three minutes, then unbuckle my seat belt and head across the street.
My eyes take a minute to adjust to the darkness inside the bar. There are only about a dozen patrons around, since it's just the late afternoon. Marie is behind the bar, and turns at the sound of the door closing behind me.
"Hi, feel free…" Her eyes flicker as she recognizes me, but she recovers quickly. "…to take a seat at the bar, or grab a table."
"I'll go for the bar," I reply, and head for a seat right in front of her. She places a cocktail napkin down.
"What can I get for you? And what the fuck are you doing here?" she adds more quietly.
"Whatever's on tap," I reply. She moves a couple feet away and gets a pint glass. I glance around. There's no one close enough to hear our conversation, so as
long as I keep appearance light, we're fine. "You haven't sent any updates in a week."
"I've been busy."
"Busy like you were with Ford outside?"
"You're following me now?" she hisses, and puts the beer in front of me. "Would you like to pay now or start a tab?" she says sarcastically. I pull out my wallet.
"You've lost sight of your mission."
"And you're going to blow my cover."
"Just keep smiling and we're fine. I'm going to pull you."
"What?"
"What good is having you undercover? You’ve clearly identified too much with these people."
"That's bullshit."
"Do you have feelings for Ford?"
"…No," she replies, but we both heard her hesitate before answering. My hands form fists under the bar. "Look, you put me in this position, it's impossible to, to not…"
"You're done," I tell her, and take a sip of beer.
"No! Give me one more chance. What can I do?"
"The Lieutenant won't settle for breadcrumbs anymore. He wants something big."
"Fine, I can do something big."
"He wants you to plant a bug in the President's office tonight."
Her eyes grow wide. "That's impossible!"
"Stay calm. Remember, we're just chatting," I tell her, and she grabs a rag and starts wiping down the bar. I take another sip of beer. "That's what he wants. You plant the bug, or we're pulling you out."
"There has to be another way."
"It's been months. His patience has worn thin. If you're not going to be valuable here, you should at least be on patrol in Fort Brynard."
"I need time. To plan, or wait for another big party."
"There is no more time. You don't have to do it, though, Marie. You just say the word, and we pull you out."
"No." She's silent for a minute, thinking as she wipes the same spot on the bar over and over. "Fine. I'll do it."
I reach into my back pocket and take my wallet out again. The bug is in my billfold, and I tuck it into a dollar bill and slide it across to her.
"There." She reaches out and tucks the money into her skirt. "It's tiny. Just tuck it under the desk, or somewhere out of the way. It's already broadcasting."
