“Professor, I’m sorry about coming over to your place like this,” I apologized. “I guess we should have just called.”
“No, I definitely wanted to see you today-noda,” said the professor, looking straight at Kuroha.
She wanted to see Kuroha?
Kuroha was chatting with Yuzu-san and didn’t seem to notice the professor looking at her.
“All righty then, that’s enough of that! Since you’re all here, how about we watch some anime together-noda?” asked the professor. “Sensei, what would you recommend?”
“Oh, I’m not picky,” said Odaira-sensei. “I know, why don’t we ask Yuzu-san? Anime in the 23rd century must all be new for her.”
Oh, Sensei has a point. I’ll ask Yuzu-san what she wants to watch. I turned to look at Yuzu-san...
I ended up in complete shock. The most surprised I had been the entire day. I saw Yuzu-san looking a way I almost never had before... It must have been something more shocking than Odaira-sensei showing interest in a middle school student or Kuroha hanging out with a classmate.
“Kuroha, that’s just... wrong!” yelled Yuzu-san, reacting with confusion and anger to something Kuroha had said.
For Yuzu-san, who almost never loses her cool, to react like that...
“Kuroha, what the hell did you say to Yuzu-san?!” I yelled back.
“Onii-chan...” Kuroha said, sheepishly. “I was talking with Yuzu-san and I started telling her about how you were born, and... I told her.”
“Told her what?”
“That you are a 2.5D kid.”
Both Odaira-sensei and the professor looked surprised when they heard what Kuroha said. But they both were people from the 23rd century, so they shrugged it off with an, “Oh, I see.”
But, Yuzu-san wasn’t from our time period.
At first, Yuzu-san had just smiled at what Kuroha said, remarking, “Oh, my, you can get married to people from anime? If my brother had been born in the 23rd century, he would have been on cloud nine just from hearing about it, and started fantasizing about this and that until he passed out.”
But Yuzu-san’s attitude completely changed when she heard that those married couples could make 2.5D kids.
I could understand that. I bet anyone from the 21st century would react the way Yuzu-san did when they heard about 2.5D kids.
You might ask, “How does a person and a 2D character have a child?” We were called 2.5D kids, but there wasn’t actually any real difference. We were born from human women, after all. It was impossible for someone from 3D and someone from 2D to have a kid together, even in today’s time. So a surrogate was artificially inseminated instead of the 2D character.
When Kuroha had explained that to Yuzu-san, she had snapped. “A human woman is a surrogate for a 2D character?! If you have to go to such lengths, you shouldn’t need to have kids in the first place! Why should they even want kids?!”
It’s very common for people who marry 2D characters to not want real children. But there was a certain subset that did want children as an heir to continue a family line, or who wanted to leave something behind as a legacy of their love for their wife.
“There’s something very wrong with this! Babies should be made by two people who love each other!” cried Yuzu-san. She seemed to be saying that you needed to think about it from the perspective of the woman. Her anger wasn’t subsiding.
“Yuzu-san, I know it might seem wrong from the viewpoint of 21st century women... but in our time period it’s not considered strange at all,” said Kuroha, trying to calm her down. “The women who give birth to the kids take a pretty hefty guarantee. They can have a much more stable life than some flimsy marriage.”
This guarantee continued for the woman’s entire life, so lately there had been a rise in strong women who’d decided to remain single and serve as surrogate mothers for 2.5D kids in order to focus on their careers or hobbies.
“Even for the woman, there are reasons they become surrogate mothers,” explained Kuroha.
“But...” Yuzu-san protested.
“Indeed... The ethics of our time and the time from which you came are different, Yuzu-kun,” said Odaira-sensei. “It’s only natural for you to have this reaction.”
“I think in Yuzu-cchi’s case it’s more her personal opinion than ethics, but the difference in time periods is a factor-noda,” added the professor.
I should console her, too...
“Yuzu-san, please listen to what I have to say,” I said. “There are also couples who are brought together thanks to the 2.5D kid system. Usually the man and woman’s identities are kept secret from each other, but upon request they can sometimes meet, and sometimes they even fall in love with each other.”
“That’s what happened with Onii-chan’s birth parents...” finished Kuroha.
My father had divorced the 2D character, Mikaeru-chan, and had remarried the woman who had given birth to me. That sounded pretty cruel to Mikaeru-chan, but she didn’t even have an artificial intelligence and was just a normal anime character, so it didn’t really cause any issues, I suspected. (FYI, if your “ex-wife” was a 2D character that had a powerful artificial intelligence installed, you would run into the same divorce issues as normal human couples did.)
“So in the end, Gin-kun was born from a man and a woman who loved each other,” summed up Odaira-sensei.
“...I see,” said Yuzu-san, not seeming very convinced, but at least no longer angry. “But I am completely against bearing a child like that. I want to have a child with someone that I love, and if it’s a girl I’m going to name her Kan’u!”
Kan’u? Wasn’t that the name of the Heisei character that I said I’d like to name my daughter after?
Yuzu-san continued by saying, “If it’s a boy I haven’t decided yet,” looking me straight in the eyes.
We changed subjects after that, and continued to chat about random stuff for another two hours before calling it quits. The professor said she had research to continue, and we all decided to leave. Then...
“Kuro-chan, wait a second-noda,” asked the professor as we were about to leave. “A present for you-noda.”
“Huh?”
The professor took out a small box from the little bag she wore on her waist. “This is a present to commemorate your debut as a translator-noda!”
Are those playing cards?
“These are the ‘Lolicon Deck’ that came special with the April 1982 edition of Animage!” she exclaimed. “It came up for public auction and I had to get it right away-noda!”
The professor took a number of cards out of the case, explaining, “This is the heroine from one of Director Something-or-other’s anime series.” I didn’t know the names of the characters she was saying like Clarisse or Fraw Bow or Sapphire, but the names of the directors rang a bell as important people from the arts in the Showa and Heisei eras that I had read about in my textbook study guides.
“‘Lolicon Deck’... Ah, the Showa era must have been nice. I can just picture it...” Odaira-sensei got a far-off look in his eyes.
Presented with a treasure of legendary value right in front of me, I was ecstatic.
“Th-Thanks...” said Kuroha, tentatively.
Hey, Kuroha! What’s with that lame reaction?!
“So the reason you wanted to see Kuroha was to give her that incredible present, right?” I asked. “I have to express my thanks, as well.”
“Ah, it’s nothing much-noda,” the professor said casually. “And besides, Kuro-chan really is something! For someone her age to debut as a translator is unheard of-noda!”
“Easy for you to say that, Professor,” said Odaira-sensei. “And Miru-chan is going to debut as an illustrator at the age of ten!”
“Professor, Sensei, Miru-chan, Kuroha-san... Everyone here is really exceptional, you know?” said Yuzu-san, smiling at me.
...I’m sure Yuzu-san didn’t intend to be mean... I was a little conflicted, after all. My little sisters were all debuting t
heir talents to the world, while I was still being rejected from Newcomer’s Prize competitions.
“You’d better get your game on, Imose-kun!” encouraged the professor.
“Yeah...” I said.
Now that I think about it, the professor’s brother had been consumed with jealously about his little sister’s success. I kind of understand how he felt. Just a little bit. But my sisters’ success would surely be good inspiration. I’m not gonna lose to them. When I get back home, I’m going to get right back to writing!
“See you around,” I said.
We said our goodbyes to the professor and left the laboratory.
That was when my cellphone rang.
The display showed a number I didn’t know. I shushed everyone and answered the call.
“Um, is this the cellphone of Gin Imose?” spoke a male voice I didn’t recognize. Judging from the voice, it was from a middle-aged man around the same age as my dad. “How do you do? My name is Takahashi, and I am from the ‘Future Creation Company.’”
It wasn’t a company that I had heard of before, but he said it was a publishing house.
“Why would a publisher want to talk with me?” I asked.
“Okay, okay, that’s an obvious question to ask,” he said. “You know of Amaneko Makoto-san, yes?”
This man was an acquaintance of Amaneko-chan, and he’d gotten my cellphone number from her. (I had put my phone number in the email I’d sent.)
“We heard about your novels from Amaneko-chan, see,” he explained. “She gave them an extremely strong recommendation, see. And so I read the work that you uploaded to the internet, you see.”
“I see.”
“Let me cut to the chase,” he said. “Please allow our company to publish that novel.”
“...Huh?”
Did this person just say... publish?
Pub-lish... PUBLISH... Publish...
Publish... my book...?
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?!
Somewhere in my completely blank head, I remembered what Amaneko-chan had said...
“I’ll make your dream come true.”
“It’s a very realistic dream-nodesu.”
It all clicked into place. A realistic dream. In other words...
I would be able to debut my work?!
*
One day in the 23rd century, in Kuroha’s room.
“Kuroha! Yuzu-san! In order to become a novelist, I need to gain all different kinds of knowledge,” I said. “How about we read the newspaper together today and study about the government?”
“Hmph,” Kuroha said. “I guess even you can have a good idea once in a while, Onii-chan.”
“Oh, my... So we can read about what Nyamo-chan has been doing? That sounds like a lot of fun,” said Yuzu-san.
(Translator’s Note: The newspaper article has been translated into modern Japanese for your convenience.)
Special Article: NIPPON TIMES
July 2nd, 2202, Morning Edition
(New York) Prime Minister Nyamo-chan held the fourth in a series of talks today (yesterday, as viewed from Japan’s time zone) with President Reyes in the headquarters of the UN. The talks stretched for the entire afternoon.
The talks were supposed to be focused on the problematic issue of yakiniku importation. However, as Prime Minister Nyamo-chan declared, “Meat-stuff? Eww! Whatevers!” the talks ended without any significant progress.
Although the talks between the two heads of state were not seemingly able to bear fruit, there are signs of movement within the U.S.
Some segments of the U.S. have started to call for the role of the president to be given to a 2D character, following after Japan. However, President Reyes said that he was thinking of dressing up like a superhero for their next meeting, which was interpreted as a concession to tamper down that growing public opinion.
However, in response, Prime Minister Nyamo-chan stated her disapproval of the idea. “No matter what you do, you ain’t gonna be 2D,” she said, and her “Affection” stat toward the U.S. dropped by 1 point. Her “Friendliness” and “Upset” stats remained unchanged.
After the conclusion of the talks, the Prime Minister held a press conference at a hotel in New York, stating, “I don’t care about all that complicated stuff,” and “I’m just gonna let Reyes-oniichan decide everything,” towing the line of her usual foreign policy.
“That’s Nyamo-chan for you!” I cried. “No matter what anyone says to her, she’s always like, ‘You decide!’ and ‘Don’t care!’ She avoids any trouble so easily! Truly a master at foreign relations!”
“Since her ‘Affection’ stat dropped by 1 point, that means it’s currently at 5, right?” Kuroha said. “If her ‘Affection’ and ‘Friendliness’ stats are maxed, then we go into ‘Lovey-Dovey!’ mode, right?”
“Yes. But you can’t rest easy even after maxing ‘Affection’ and ‘Friendliness,’” I said. “There’s also the ‘Upset’ stat. There’s a rumor going around the other countries that if that goes up to the max, then Nyamo-chan will feel hurt!”
“Those foreign countries sure have it rough dealing with Nyamo-chan...” Kuroha mused.
Chapter 4 - Literary Experience
—The next day.
The classroom was bathed in the rays of the summer sun. It was the final day before the start of summer vacation, so the mood in the classroom was happy and filled with anticipation.
My classmate Sugawara-kun had taken out his girlfriend-cards and was making plans for a summer vacation trip. At first I didn’t notice anything strange, but then, without any warning, he let out a yelp and fell over onto the floor. It was like an invisible person had punched him, or something.
I guess it’s time for today’s Sugawara Theater.
“P-Please, forgive me!” he howled. “I promise I’ll take everyone with me on the trip! So please, just... no more!”
But Sugawara’s pleas fell on deaf ears, it seemed, and he once again let out a scream. He held his hand over his right eye, yelling, “My eye! My eye!!!” and running in place.
He had told me that his third girlfriend was a yandere, so the jealousy must have made her snap and she had aimed for his eyes. That was how the scenario was set, it seemed.
Man, I’m so jealous of him!
Sugawara-kun had meticulously crafted the story about his third girlfriend and was currently acting it out. As someone aiming to become an author, I was a little envious of his creativity.
...wait. Realization flooded over me. Oh, yeah. That’s not true right now. I’m... I’m not someone that aims to become an author anymore.
“Hey, you? Are you even listening to me?” demanded the suspicious-sounding voice of my 2D teacher, Kazoe-sensei, from the small screen on the top of my desk.
“...Huh? Oh, sorry,” I apologized.
“Listen to your teacher when she is speaking! An idiot like you needs to work ten times harder than everyone else, you know!” she declared.
“Heh heh heh...” If only she knew...
“What’s with that creepy laugh?!” she exclaimed. “Are you some kind of masochist that enjoys it when people insult you or something?!”
“Good question. What do you think?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“Hell if I know! Idiot!”
Sorry, Sensei... Please, go easy on me this time. See, I’m kind of on cloud nine right now. I mean, if I can’t take it easy at a time like this... after all...
“I’m gonna make my debut!” I yelled in glee.
“K-Keep your voice down! Maybe you’re such an idiot that you’re a lost cause...” she muttered.
“That’s right,” I said. “I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot, but I’m going to make my debut. I’m going to make my debut as a high school student! Isn’t that amazing?!”
“Debut as what? You’re finally gonna come out as a pro idiot? Wow, congrats. I guess your brain’s melted in the summer heat. Well, see if I care,” snapped Kazoe-sensei angrily, and she disappeared off
the screen. She wouldn’t show back up for a little while.
The phone call I had received the previous day was going to change my life in a big way. Takahashi-san was a member of the “New Word Order” that Amaneko-chan had created, and he had said that he was moved by my writing. He praised it as carving open a path to the future, just like Amaneko-chan had.
“Yes... I was especially impressed with your usage of ‘£.’ To think you would write such things about the British economy...” Takashi had said on the phone call.
“No, that’s a symbol for the heroine dashing forward with her hands outspread,” I corrected him.
“Ugh... Okay, okay... of course I knew that, yes. Your novel’s true heart lied within the ‘¥,’ of course. It was a treatise on the Japanese yen, the economy...”
“That’s a symbol of a maidservant having her obi unwrapped by the lord, then spinning around saying, ‘Banzai!... So dizzy...’”
“It’s what?! ...I mean, okay, okay. I knew that, yes, I knew that. And then... ‘〆.’ That’s... uh...”
“That’s a symbol that shows a Takefuji Dancer kicking her leg up in the air,” I explained.
“Were you even born in this century?! That’s so old no one would ever get that!” he sputtered.
The “Future Creation Company” was a small publisher, but they said they would make sure my book was on display at every book store in the country. He said that when it came to specifics like the contract, etc., that he would explain it all when we met in person.
“Please give Amaneko-chan my regards,” he said formally. “I, Takahashi, am prepared to do anything for her, even become her servant. Amaneko-chan is like a natural angel descended from heaven when it comes to a middle aged-man like me who is exhausted dealing with his work and family life. No, she’s a holy angel! I’ll just say it... I’m publishing your book because Amaneko-chan asked me to!”
When I told Kuroha about the phone call, she said that it “sounds fishy as hell,” and then kept harping about it. She’s the type that’s suspicious of any good luck coming your way, so I had figured she would nitpick it to death trying to find some problem with it.
My Little Sister Can Read Kanji: Volume 3 Page 6
