by Holly Jacobs
“How do I refute the accusation? Even if I told you what really happened, the truth remains, I did go out with a married man. So you’re right, you’re just left with the accusation.” Allie took the sling off and handed it to Ian. “I trust you can get Ryane to sleep?”
He nodded.
“Fine. Bring her down tomorrow when you’re ready to come to the hospital.”
“You don’t have to—”
“Thank you,” Anne said. She glared at her brother. “I can’t tell you how much we appreciate all you’ve done. And I, for one”—she gave Ian another evil look—“know you must have some very good reason. If you want to talk about it, the offer still stands.”
Allie leaned over and kissed Ryane’s forehead.
She turned to Anne and squeezed her hand. “Thank you. Having a friend who believes in you, regardless of what others say, is a real treasure.” She squeezed it again. “Everything will be okay tomorrow.”
“I’ll be just fine. The sooner it’s over, the sooner I can be home with Ryane again.” Anne’s face clouded. “Wherever that is.”
“Don’t worry. I have a plan.” Allie winked.
Anne’s face cleared. “I just bet you do.”
“Good night,” Allie said. “Don’t worry about anything.”
She didn’t spare Ian another glance as she left the room, and she met Mary’s glare with a steady look as she walked down the floor.
She’d never cared what people thought of her and she wasn’t about to start now. Just because Ian Ryan chose to believe the worst of her didn’t bother her at all.
Alexandra McGraw didn’t need anyone. She never had, she never would.
Ian’s opinion didn’t matter any more than anyone else’s.
She kept telling herself that as she marched to her car, and though her head was listening, her heart didn’t seem to care a bit.
“It looks better, doesn’t it?” Allie asked Ryane, who gurgled her agreement.
“Yes, I think so too.” She stared at the shelves, loaded with books and little mementos from over the years.
“Okay, let’s go stir the soup. Chicken noodle soup is always good for what ails you, not that anything is bothering me, mind you,” she assured the baby.
Just because Ian had wordlessly dropped the baby off that morning.
Just because his expression said he’d rather leave the baby anywhere other than with her, but he had no choice.
Just because her heart gave a shudder as he turned his back with a crisp, obligatory “Thank you.”
“No, there isn’t anything at all that’s bothering me,” Allie assured the baby and herself.
The house was finally cleaned, the soup was stirred, and Ryane was contentedly gurgling. Allie didn’t know what to do with herself now.
She could make some follow-up calls, she decided.
Feeling better, she found her logbook and turned to the first marked page, her nimble fingers dialing eagerly.
If only she stayed busy enough, she wouldn’t have to dwell on all the things that weren’t bothering her.
“Hello, Marsha? This is Allie McGraw. I just wanted to see if things were going better.”
The new mother had had sore nipples, but with some work on the baby’s positioning, Allie thought they’d beat the problem. She talked to Marsha for the next twenty minutes and hung up, confident that the mother and newborn were on the right track. This was what mattered.
Allie loved every part of her job. There was nothing more miraculous than helping a mother bring a new life into the world. She especially enjoyed working with those mothers and their babies afterward to see to it they got a good start at breastfeeding. And she loved helping those who didn’t start quite so smoothly get back on track.
Making a difference provided Allie with a great deal of satisfaction.
“Well, you were good,” Allie told the baby. She glanced her watch. “And it’s almost time for your feeding. Let’s go get that bottle ready before you decide you can’t wait for it.” One thing she’d learned was that when Ryane was ready to eat, Ryane was ready to eat. The baby didn’t accept excuses.
She had just settled down with the baby and the bottle when there was a knock at the door. “Come in,” she hollered.
“You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked,” a scowling Ian Ryan greeted her.
“You’re probably right,” Allie said. “How’s Anne?” she asked, changing the subject.
“Everything went fine. She’s groggy with the pain meds, and when I left she was sleeping off and on.”
“Good. Before you know it, she’ll be home.” Allie picked up the baby and began patting her back. “She’s just about done here and almost ready for a little nap.”
“Fine, I’ll take her upstairs.”
“Do you want some soup? Chicken noodle tonight—homemade noodles.”
“I don’t think so,” Ian said, no hint of regret in his voice.
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
They gathered up the baby’s things together in silence. “This place sure looks different,” Ian said.
“Amazing how unpacking a dozen or so boxes can make a difference.”
“Why did you wait so long?” Ian asked.
“Be careful, Ian. I might think your interest indicates you’ve decided to overlook my sordid past.”
“I just want an explanation,” he said.
“And why do I owe you that?” she asked. “You’re not my brother, not even a friend. You’re just a man I’ve been helping out. Not really for your sake, but for the baby and Anne’s sake. So why do I owe you an explanation?”
“You don’t,” he said gruffly.
“Well, then we’re both agreed,” she said.
“Thank you for today.” He stood there, spine stiff, face impassive.
“As I said, it wasn’t for you, it was for Ryane and Anne.”
He nodded and took the baby from her extended arms. He began to walk out the door.
“And, Ian?” Allie called.
“What?” He turned around and fixed those dark, brooding eyes, eyes that would look quite at home in a Brontë novel, on her.
“I didn’t know he was married. I was new in town and lonely, and we had dinner a few times. He made it clear he wanted more, but I wanted to know him better first. As soon as I found out he was married, I dumped him. But it wasn’t soon enough. His wife found out and made a scene. I’ve been wearing a scarlet letter on my chest ever since.”
Why on earth did she feel the need to tell him that? Cursing herself for being a fool, Allie began to close the door.
“Thank you,” Ian said.
Allie didn’t say a word but closed the door in his face and dutifully locked it.
She didn’t know why she’d done that. She didn’t make it a habit of explaining herself to people who didn’t matter. And Ian didn’t matter. He wasn’t the type of man she dated. Oh, he was the go-weak-in-the-knees sort of good-looking, but he wasn’t the type of man that shook her world. He wasn’t even the type of man she befriended. She liked her friends to be as happy and lighthearted as she was.
Ian was neither.
Not by a long shot. He was a man who apparently didn’t know a thing about smiling, even less about laughing.
No, he wasn’t someone she’d have in her life under usual circumstances. She didn’t want anything from him, not even his approval. And that little explanation was the last she would offer.
She stalked into the kitchen and turned off the soup.
She wasn’t very hungry.
“Well, here we are,” Allie said, bright and early Wednesday morning. She had Ryane in her arms and handed the baby to her mother. “I talked to Dr. Johns, and he agreed that Ryane can come in two or three times a day and nurse.”
Anne didn’t say a word, just held the baby close. “She’s bigger.”
“Not that much bigger,” Allie reassured her. She looked the woman over. Anne looked better since the surgery. Her leg was no longer in traction, but propped on pillows. “You started therapy today?”
Anne laughed. “Oh, let’s talk about good times. They put my leg on this little skateboard thing and I rolled it back and forth half a dozen times. Just six times and I was exhausted.”
“Your strength will come back,” Allie assured her.
“Not soon enough for me.” Disgust tinged Anne’s voice.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Allie said, pulling a chair next to the bed. “Dr. Johns said he hoped you’d be out of here soon, and Ian mentioned that your place has stairs and so does his. A two-story apartment complex doesn’t need an elevator, so that’s no help. So, what are you going to do?”
“I just don’t know.” There was worry in Anne’s eyes.
“I think you and Ryane should stay with me,” Allie said.
Anne shook her head. “I couldn’t.”
“Why not?” Allie knew it was a viable idea. She had a spare room just sitting there.
“Well, think of the imposition.”
“Oh, yeah, it would be terrible. I mean, I’d get to cuddle Ryane all I want and you’d be there to take over the messy diapers.” She grinned at her own humor.
Anne chuckled. “Do you ever take no for an answer?”
“No.” Allie grinned. “I don’t know if Ian told you, but I was raised by three older brothers. I learned early that it’s best to hear only what you want to hear. And I don’t want to hear no.”
“But, my place . . .”
“Ian and I could pack it up, move your furniture into storage, and you could have my spare room until you’re literally back on your feet.”
“I don’t understand you, Allie.”
Allie indulged herself and gave Anne’s hand a quick squeeze. “Seriously, you’d be doing me a favor. I’m new in town and used to having a lot of family around. My one friend in town is newly married so she’s pretty much occupied. It’s too quiet at my place. You and Ryane would actually be doing me a favor.”
Anne chuckled. “Yeah, some favor.”
“Is that a yes or a no?” Allie said with a grin, knowing she’d won.
“I might not understand you, but I like you, and not just for what you’re doing for us. I’m not a fool—the answer’s yes. And as long as you feel I’m doing you a favor”—Anne’s grin said she didn’t believe a word of it—“maybe you’d think about doing me one. Well, maybe two.”
“Shoot.”
“First, I was hoping you’d consider being Ryane’s godmother. You’ve stepped into our lives like some kind of fairy godmother, and I thought it might be nice to make it all official.”
“That’s not a favor, that’s an honor,” Allie assured her.
“Is that a yes?”
“Yes.” Both women laughed.
“And favor number two is I’d like you to consider me a friend. Ian only grunted when I mentioned you yesterday, and being a well-versed grunt interpreter, I figure there’s something going on. If you’d like to talk . . .” She left the offer hanging.
“When I’m ready to talk about Ian, or about anything, you’ll be one of the first people I come to. I like you too, Anne.”
“Good. Just know I’m here.” She looked at the bump under the cover that was her injured leg. “And I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere anytime soon.”
“Sooner than you think, you’ll be up and about.”
“Promise?” Anne asked.
“Promise.”
“What are we promising?” Ian asked as he walked into the room.
They hadn’t really talked since Monday. They’d handed off Ryane, only exchanging pertinent information and the most superficial pleasantries.
Before Anne could answer, Allie blurted out, “We just decided to become roommates.”
Ian’s smile faded. “Anne and I have truly appreciated all your help, but we’re more than capable of making arrangements.”
Allie knew a gauntlet when she saw one and was quick to pick it up. “I know all about the oh-so-self-sufficient Ian Thomas Ryan, and you’re not the one I’m asking to be my roommate. If my presence insults your sensibilities so much, then feel free to visit Anne and the baby when I’m at work. Or, better yet, let me know when your regal presence will be there and I’ll make sure mine isn’t.” She stormed toward the door. “And since you’re here, I’m off to work. When Anne’s done, you can take Ryane.”
Her parting line set the stage for her grand exit, and she opened the door, made it a couple feet down the hall, and ran into Nurse Mary Sunshine.
“Problems?” the woman asked, the smile on her face indicating she hoped there were.
Allie just glared at the woman.
“I hope there are,” Mary said. “With all the problems you caused Dr. Neighbors and his poor wife, well, you deserve everything you get and more.”
Ian walked down the hall and over to the unpleasant woman. “I’d like the name of your supervisor.”
“What on earth have I done?” Mary said, the mantle of the self-righteous draped over her like a misbegotten banner.
“Behaved in a highly unprofessional way.”
“I never—”
“I’m sure that’s half your problem,” Ian said. “And spewing libelous insults at a fellow employee certainly qualifies as unprofessional in my book. You can be sure I’ll be telling your supervisor all about it.” He dismissed the woman with a nod.
“And you,” he said to Allie.
“Ah, my white knight feels the need to shoot a few barbs my way as well?” Pulling herself together, she met his glare with one of her own. “I don’t answer to you, Ian. And asking Anne to room with me had nothing—not one thing in the world—to do with you. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it, but you might recall, we haven’t been really talking about anything the last few days.”
“About that . . .”
“Oh, never mind. You can join everyone else who has already tried and convicted me. I did date a married man and his dear wife did have a slight breakdown. I take responsibility for it.”
“Did you really not know he was married?” Ian asked.
“No.” He’d been handsome and charming. She’d been alone in a new city.
“You didn’t ask anyone?”
“He wanted to keep our seeing each other private. Hospital gossip and all that. I was new, he was established, and he didn’t want anyone to interfere. It sounded perfectly logical when he said it, but I should have checked. It’s my fault.”
Ian’s arm slipped around her shoulders.
Allie shrugged it off. “I don’t want your pity and I don’t need your forgiveness. If I want forgiveness, I’ll go confess my sins to my priest.”
“You are one of the strongest women I know, one of the last I’d pity. That was comfort . . . more for me than for you. And as for forgiveness, you didn’t do anything that requires it. I did. I jumped to conclusions and I’m sorry.”
She sighed. “Don’t be nice. The next thing you know you might smile and, oh, Ian, if that happens, you might do irreparable damage. I mean, your face could crack. And what if smiling leads to laughing? Perish the thought. You might actually break something.”
“You’ve got some mouth on you, lady.” Ian studied that mouth, and the urge to cover it with his own was almost overwhelming.
He wasn’t sure why. Allie wasn’t his type. His type was generally serious, like-minded women. He had never gone for women who collected stray people like others might collect stamps—women who would go to a stranger’s apartment and just take over. And he certainly didn’t go for women who kept huge stuffed pink elephants in their bedrooms.
He’d been collecting Ryane’s things from the room yesterday and had noticed it.
No, women who kept pink elephants in their rooms weren’t the type to attract him.
“Don’t you have to work?” he asked gruffly.
She nodded. “Yep. See you tomorrow. And, I told Anne already, but I’ll tell you as well, Dr. Johns said Ryane could come in a couple times a day, so you might want to bring her back later.”
“Sure,” he said.
“Oh, and Ian?” she asked, a wicked grin on her face.
“What?” he asked. She had something up her sleeve and Ian found himself more curious than worried.
“Make sure you stop at the nurses’ station and pick up all the breast milk Anne’s been expressing. Any drugs she’s still taking are compatible with breastfeeding, so you’ll want to start using the breast milk first and then formula if there’s not enough.”
Ian’s face felt warm. He’d just about gotten used to seeing Anne nurse. She was discreet, after all, and it wasn’t as if he could see anything.
But using her milk in a bottle? What if some splashed?
“I could save it for the feedings you have,” he said hopefully.
Allie’s laugh told him he was out of luck. “You’ll get used to it, big guy. See you tomorrow.”
Ian walked back to Anne’s room, muttering to himself. See what she did to him? Ian Ryan wasn’t the type to walk around talking to himself. He was in control. He didn’t laugh and he didn’t blush.
At least he hadn’t until he’d met Alexandra McGraw.
Thinking of Allie made him think of the man who’d used her. Dr. Neighbors.
Suddenly Ian felt a bit ill.
Yes, he was sure he was coming down with something. Something that would indeed indicate a need to visit a doctor. Namely Dr. Neighbors.
Ian smiled. It was his familiar cold smile, not the one Allie insisted on forcing him to use. He was comfortable dealing with corporate idiots. Dealing with medical ones couldn’t be much different.
CHAPTER FIVE
“Dr. Neighbors?” Ian’s smile was pasted to his face.
“Mr. Ryan, what seems to be the problem?” said the centerfold-good-looks doctor. He glanced at the chart in his hand and frowned.
