Anne kept one hand on his shoulder as their lips remained locked and her other stroked the side of his neck. Such affection, simply given moved him more than he could express. After they’d kissed for a long time, his senses prickled with need and his cock throbbed behind his breechclout. Without a word or need for any, he released her, helped Anne to her feet, and led her into the lodge. He paused to put the cooler outside then helped her disrobe with slow grace. He settled her into the nest of furs he’d made.
Ned muttered endearments in Comanche, whispered about her beauty in his first tongue and in English. Anne called him names no one ever had used or meant for him, words like honey, babe, sweetheart… Each one salved some longing in his soul, eased some of the loneliness he’d endured for decades. In the sweeping abandon, in his surrender to the knowledge he loved this woman, Ned put away his concerns, his fears. Sometime soon, he’d need to tell her the truth, but not now. This night belonged to them.
He claimed it without haste. Once he’d shed his garments, Ned took Anne into his arms. He caressed her body with slow, loving fingers. When he pressed his mouth against the faint blue lines tracing her veins, Ned did so with passion, not hunger nor need. Her pulse beat against his lips and he savored it without any temptation to bite. When he reached Anne’s full breasts, he suckled one nipple and shuddered with delight. When Anne put her mouth on his, however, he quivered and almost came. Sensation drowned him in a warm tide of pleasure.
As they made love, he licked and she laved her tongue over his skin. Anne’s nails raked his back as their pace increased. One moment he kissed her breasts, the next Ned pinched her nipples with enough force to nip but not hurt. When the throbbing tension in his cock could no longer be borne, Ned put his hands on Anne’s hips and entered her with a swift, powerful thrust. She cried out, her shriek of delight tempered with surprise. He dominated her, but as he sank into her tight shaft, so warm and slick, Ned shouted too. Together they rode and strained toward release. Each time that she managed to squeeze his dick with the walls of her pussy, he groaned with enjoyment.
Ned gave and took, and Anne did the same. In their wild efforts, they hit the peak together in an intense burst of erotic ecstasy. It rocked him body and soul and they quivered together. He swore he felt the vibration of thunder and was blinded by lightning. They crashed down to earth and he cradled Anne in his arms, content. They murmured and muttered happy nothings. She drifted to sleep and to his surprise, so did Ned.
He didn’t sleep long but woke disoriented after a few moments. Ned recognized the lodge but with a woman curled against him, he could almost believe he’d returned to his time. The aroma of wood smoke from the fire tickled his nose and combined with a lingering smell of the buffalo meat. He thought he might be dreaming until he saw the red gold curls spilling out over the hides with abandon and thought Anne. Everything returned then with a force strong enough to swamp him.
Ned loved her and she felt the same.
The realization rocked him to his foundation, to the core of whatever beliefs he had left and sank into his soul. It stretched large and beyond his known boundaries, wider and deeper than anything he’d ever known or experienced. His soul radiated with joy yet he couldn’t help but be afraid. He’d meant to retreat before they reached such a place, to end their friendship and to put Anne out of his reach. But Ned hadn’t and didn’t want to do so. Now he didn’t see how he could, without inflicting major damage on them both. He could deal with the hurt, but he couldn’t bear to cause Anne pain or to steal away the happiness he’d seen reflected in her eyes. Disturbed, he crawled out of the bed he’d made for his love and went outside to sit beside the fire, still naked. He stirred it until a few flames leapt up and he added more wood to keep it burning.
Beneath the night sky, Ned pondered his situation. He’d forgotten the cares and troubles of the living, the emotion and the anguish. After he’d become a vampire, through no will of his own, he’d taken at least a decade to adapt, to learn to stay in the shadows and not to care. Little by little, he’d withdrawn from life, disassociated himself from the other members of the Quohada, and stopped living. He’d existed for so long, driven by chance and his few needs, he’d failed to recall how powerful life could be. Although he remained an undead creature, unnatural and earthbound for eternity, Ned’s misery made him feel more alive than he had since the late 1880’s.
He smoked as his thoughts flew wild in all directions like birds into the sky. Ned reflected on the things he’d done, the lives he’d taken without remorse, the objects taken without guilt, raids made and mayhem done. He’d made more war than love, revenge had burned in his gut with a terrible heat, and he’d fought hard to the bitter last. His memories made him think he must’ve been evil but then Ned remembered how he’d cared for his wife, loved his children, and how he’d carried a burden in his heart for his people. He thought of good times and bad, quiet moments of contentment and times of unbridled rage. Then, he’d been a Comanche warrior, product of his people, creation of his time and circumstance. He’d been no better than most, worse than some, maybe, but not all. He’d lived by a code of honor, one few in this modern world would understand but it mattered then and had fit.
Ned replayed the night he’d been made into a bloodsucker. He recalled those early years, his self-loathing and shame. Once again, he couldn’t say he’d been all positive, but neither had he been a negative force. Over the years he’d changed, more than he’d realized until now. Pea’hocso in his prime would’ve never felt remorse for anything he did, for he’d lived the way of a warrior. However, Ned Big Eagle regretted many things he’d done in his distant past. His solitary existence had evolved as a sort of penance, he realized, born out of a sense of shame.
As a vampire, he’d always felt unworthy and wrong. His emotions kept him apart but some sense of honor, one not so far removed from his days of war, kept Ned from becoming a greedy, vindictive evil creature. The woman who had turned him had been the latter. He’d never thought of it before but he could’ve wreaked havoc on the blue coat soldiers, making as many as he could into vampires. He could have used his situation to punish anyone who offended him or whom he disliked but he hadn’t.
Who am I now? What am I now? Ned wondered. He tried to imagine telling Anne the truth, sharing with her his stark and shocking reality but he failed. Every possible way he could summon up ended with her scorn, fear, or disbelief. But, sometime she’d have to know or they couldn’t remain in a relationship or share love. Part of Ned wanted to wake her and tell her, blunt and without any explanation. Another side of his soul devised ways to hide and not share the truth. As he considered the options, he focused with such intensity he failed to hear Anne join him.
“What’s the matter?” she said, in her lilting voice. Her hand touched his shoulder and he glanced up at her.
Ned took her hand and held it. “Nothing,” he lied. “Sit down with me if you want.”
“You look so strange,” she said as she joined him. “You seem upset and worried. What is it?”
He drew a deep breath. “I’m not the man you think I am, Anne.”
Her frown line appeared, faint but present. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve done things you couldn’t imagine,” he told her. “I’m nothing like you think.”
In the flickering firelight, she’d never seemed more beautiful. The flames reflected in her eyes and made them molten. Anne stared into his face without blinking and her hand tightened against his. “I know enough to love you,” she said. “And whatever else there may be, I know all I need to know. You’re a good man, Ned, with a fine heart. You love the old ways, but you’re not afraid to live in the present. You bring strength wherever you go and you’re caring, considerate.”
Each word struck his chest like a well-aimed arrow shot from an enemy bow. “Maybe I’m only like that with you or maybe you see me that way because you love me, not because I am.”
“Huh-uh,” Anne said. “I’m an intellig
ent woman and I’m a good judge of character. If you weren’t all I said, I’d know… but you are, Ned.”
Ned said nothing, couldn’t summon up the words because he had no idea how to express his emotions. And, if he had, he wouldn’t have been up to dredge them up past the thick knot of tears locked within his throat. Anne’s love moved him and so he put one arm around her. He held her close and tight, her head on his shoulder. They sat for a long time, until the moon shifted position and the first light of dawn appeared in the east.
“All I can do is try to be the man you think I am,” Ned said, finally. “If I can’t and when you figure out I’m not, promise to forgive me.”
Speaking hurt, cut like broken shards of glass in his throat and tightened his chest but he needed to say it. Anne’s wordless cry eased a fraction of his anguish. She kissed his face, his cheeks and then his mouth. “I don’t know what’s bothering you. I can tell you’re hurting over something. Why don’t you just tell me, Ned? Whatever it is can’t be that terrible, and it’s not going to change how I feel about you. Won’t you just tell me?”
He ought to do it, just say the four words that would destroy his world. Ned couldn’t bring himself to say ‘I am a vampire’ so he said, “I can’t, Anne. Not now.”
“Then I’ll wait,” she told him. “I’ll listen when you’re ready to tell me, when you can. Don’t be sad. We should be happy.”
Anne’s plea tugged hard on his heartstrings. “I am,” Ned told her. “Oh, I am.”
“Then show me.” Her grin infected him and banished his dark thoughts for now.
His facial muscles stretched as his smile emerged. “I’d like to. Wanna go back in the lodge?”
“I wouldn’t mind but I was thinking maybe we could go out for breakfast, maybe one of those buffets,” Anne said. She sounded wistful. “And then maybe we could go to the museum on post at Fort Sill. Then we’d head over to the Museum of the Great Plains in Lawton. We could make a day of it, running around to see some historic sites, do a little shopping, and have lunch.”
Ned hadn’t set foot on the fort since he left it, but he’d heard some of the original buildings, ones he’d known from his experiences there, were part of the historical complex. With an abundance of heat and sunshine in the forecast, he didn’t think it would be a good day to run around Lawton with Anne. Maybe some rainy, gray day in the fall or winter, they could, he thought. Although he hated to disappoint her, he answered with as much truth as he could.
“I work tonight, Anne,” he told her. “Someday I’d like to do all that, but not today. How ‘bout we go to my house and spend the day together?”
Her lips twisted into a bow then Anne nodded. “I guess we can.”
“You disappointed?”
“A little, but I’ll manage.” Her slight smile erased any sting and Ned relaxed. She wasn’t mad, then. He gauged the sky. In an hour, it’d be full light and he’d rather be inside by then.
“Then let’s gather the gear and take it home.” Ned stood. He put out the fire and gathered gear. Anne helped and together they carried all of it back to the house. Leaving her to investigate the kitchen, Ned showered then dressed in his usual jeans. His wet hair hung past his waist. He’d combed it but nothing more when he entered the kitchen.
Anne climbed down from a chair and closed the cabinet she’d been investigating. “Don’t you ever buy groceries? I wanted to make breakfast but there’s not much to work with. I can scramble eggs but that’s about it.”
“Eggs will do. And no, I don’t go to the supermarket much.” He didn’t have to eat and when he did, he ate what he liked, usually in a restaurant. Ned brought home anything he wanted, but he’d never gotten into the idea of buying in bulk or stocking up.
“Well, why not? If you ever get snowed in or something, you’ll starve to death before you’d ever freeze.”
Ned laughed. Growing up Comanche, they had gathered and hunted what they needed. Hunger during lean times and feasting after a buffalo kill had been a way of life. He’d changed many of his ways, but hadn’t had a need to adjust. “I don’t know,” he lied. “I just never think about grocery shopping.”
“We can go together,” Anne cried. “It’d be fun. Besides, I can show you things you can get so I can cook for us sometimes.”
So, she planned on being around. He liked the idea very much. No one had cooked for him since his wife, long ago. Food didn’t equal a need, but sometimes Ned took comfort from it.
“That’d be great. Maybe we could go today or tonight. What time do you get off?”
“I work six to three.” Three in the morning would be fine for him and if Anne didn’t mind prowling around a 24-hour supermarket or Wal-Mart, they could do it.
She giggled. “I love shopping in the early morning. Let’s do it!” He’d shop before dawn and a whole lot more to please this woman. “All right, we will. I’ll pick you up and you’ll teach me how to buy food.”
Anne lifted her little finger and crooked it around his. “It’s a promise, so no breaking it. Do you want some scrambled eggs?”
“Sounds good, but I want something else first.”
“You don’t have much else,” she protested. Ned kissed her with heat and she melted in his arms. Anne’s mouth met his with enthusiasm. Her lips caressed his and he savored the long kiss. Although tempted to take things further, he waited. They had time enough for sex later.
After feasting on fluffy scrambled eggs, Ned decided his hair was dry enough to braid. He retrieved his comb and sat down in the living room but Anne took it out of his hand. “Let me,” she said. “Do you want one single braid down your back?”
“Yeah, it’s easiest when I’m working.”
“Then turn around and sit still.”
Her hands trailed the comb through his long hair. A frisson rippled down his spine, as Anne removed any tangles. She ran her fingers among his unbound locks, then used the comb again. Her deft fingers pulled Ned’s hair into a queue and divided it into three sections. She braided it swift and tight. Ned surrendered to her touch. He couldn’t remember anyone performing the task for him, but he liked it. Maybe he’d become easy to arouse and damn horny but the simple act inspired a fresh wave of desire.
“How’s that?” Anne asked. She tugged the braid as if to test it.
“Fine, but this would be better.” Ned reached back and grasped her. He pulled her onto his lap, supported her with his left arm and kissed her hard. Her arms went around his neck and held tight. He’d meant no more than a playful kiss but her mouth on his ignited a sexual frenzy. Ned wanted her and so he took Anne with all the wildness of his Comanche years, without restraint or remorse. His kisses devoured her mouth and strayed to her throat. Ned nibbled at the tender places on her neck and dared, knowing well what he did, to bite the top of her left breast. He suckled until the flesh around the twin marks bruised, leaving a love mark she’d wear for a week or more. Anne’s blood tasted sweet on his tongue and boosted his strength.
Ned craved more, but held back despite an urgent hunger. To avoid a third bite, one that would make her eternal without her knowledge or wish, he ravished her. He licked her nipples until they sprang into taut pink blossoms then ran his tongue down her belly to her mound. His fingers darted inside and delved until he found her button. Ned caressed it until she screeched aloud. His other hand raked across her body, stroking and rubbing but with little finesse. Greed fueled his desire and notched it up to an unbearable level. A faint tenderness remained beneath his erotic savagery so he rode a thin line between delivering pain and pleasure.
Sometime, somehow he moved to the floor and positioned Anne there. He opened her jeans and slid them down. Then he maneuvered out of his. She gasped and panted beneath him but she never denied Ned. In his need, his wildness, he might not have heard if she had.
When Ned mounted her, he entered with force and power. His cock rammed into the depths of her body and consumed the space. Ned rode her hard, pounded her as if he gallope
d across the plains. He plunged in and out with such rapid rhythms he lost all sense of time and place. All Ned knew was Anne and her body. She slaked his extreme thirst and when he came, he shouted an undulating cry, sharp enough it would’ve once chilled the blood of any settler along the Brazos.
He climaxed before Anne, and her hands grasped the shirt he still wore, clinging tight.
“Ned,” she moaned. “Oh, Ned.”
Her body bucked beneath him and she thrust her pelvis hard against his body. “Now, woman,” he chanted. “Let it go.”
When the sound of his voice hit his own ears, Ned realized he’d spoken Comanche. It marked the first time he used his original tongue unbidden in decades but he didn’t pause to ponder it. Anne came against him, shuddering and moaning. Her musk filled his nose with scent and he felt the beat of her heart against him. Contrite now for his rough use of her, Ned sat on the floor and cradled her in his arms. She cuddled against him and when she caught her breath, he swore her sigh meant contentment.
“You okay?” he asked. Her head moved in a nod against his chest. “I’m fantastic. I thought you might fuck me to death but it was amazing. Did you bite me?”
Anne’s fingers strayed up to touch the bruise on her breast. Surprised she’d noticed, Ned answered. “Yeah, I did.”
Her soft laughter wasn’t much more than a whisper. “What are you, a vampire?”
Surprise caught Ned like a fish bone in his throat. “Maybe I am.”
She giggled. “There’s no such thing, not really.”
He’d thought to tell her now but her response halted his notion. She wouldn’t take me seriously now if I tried. But I should and I will. It’s not the right time, not yet. “Could be,” he said.
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