by Linda Broday
“What was that?”
“He’d throw back his head and laugh and say that if I’d been a boy, he never would’ve gotten his little princess.” For a second, hot tears lurked behind Nora’s eyes. “I was his girl and I still miss him and Mama every single day.” She patted Jack’s vest. “Your turn. Tell me about a time when you were happy.”
Jack shook his head. “I’d rather listen to you.”
“No, I insist you play the game right. We each take turns.”
“Never had much reason to smile that I can remember until I married Rachel. I’ve blocked out everything up to then. Meeting and taking Rachel as my wife was the first time I was truly happy.”
The sorrow in his voice made her want to cry. “I can tell you loved her very much. What happened?”
He tensed. “She was murdered. My son too.”
Shock swept through Nora, and she remembered asking what had turned him. This was what had made him an outlaw. Like he’d said—revenge.
Thick anger shook her. “I hope you made someone pay.”
One corner of Jack’s mouth tilted in a half smile before it vanished. “I did.”
“Good.” Something told her he’d shown no mercy, and that was as it should’ve been. “How old was your boy?”
“Alex was four.” A smile drifted across Jack’s face. “He used to follow me everywhere, putting his little feet in my footprints. He said when he grew up, he wanted to be just like me.” His voice broke and the smile vanished. His gray eyes hardened. “I wouldn’t want anyone to be like me.”
The fire crackled in the stillness and cold seeped into Nora’s bones. The lives Jack had taken had scarred his soul. He didn’t feel he deserved any other kind of life. Clearly, he had little hope for the future. No wonder he was an outlaw. He’d opened up for that Darcy woman and she’d chosen a life of solitude over him. Nora ached to hold this stone-faced man and promise that it wouldn’t stay dark forever, that the dawn would eventually come.
“As I stated before, you’re a fine man, Jack. And don’t you dare think you’re not.”
“Difference of opinion.” He got to his feet and propped his arms on the top of a crumbling wall. “We’ll have snow before morning. I feel it in the air.”
“Snow? Are you sure?” Her gaze went to her wet dress and she bit her lip. Maybe washing it hadn’t been wise.
“Doubt it’ll do more than cover the ground, but it’ll be cold. We’ll have to sleep close to stay warm. Unless you object. If so, you can have my duster.”
“Keep it. I don’t mind sleeping beside you.” After several minutes, she rose and stood behind him. He didn’t move when she put her arms around his waist and rested her cheek on his back. “You’re not alone, Jack. You have me. I’ll stand by your side through sunny days and storms.”
He turned to study her, and sadness drifted across his high cheekbones, his rugged profile. “I don’t deserve you. I’m a bastard, and that’s on good days, but I’ll try to make you proud.”
“I already am,” she said softly. “Don’t you know that?”
Something shifted in his eyes and the hardness lifted. He framed her face with his hands and lowered his head. Blood pounded in her brain and her knees trembled with need. She sagged against him and let out a little mewling sound. This outlaw made her forget all the bad in her past, filling her with thrilling new memories.
He teased her mouth with his tongue, outlining the shape before crushing her to him.
The scent of the wild land, smoke from the fire, and unmistakable desire filled her senses. Nora clung to his vest and returned the kiss, one that deepened into hunger that seared through her. She slid her arms around his neck, the locks of his hair brushing her skin like soft feathers.
A smoldering fire burned inside and spread along each taut nerve ending, tingling just below the surface as though waiting for the dry tinder to catch and erupt into a blaze. Nora saw herself standing at a deep chasm that separated her old life from the new.
She yearned to take the step that would make her a woman in every sense of the word.
His hands moved down the sides of her body, his touch so heartrendingly tender that it brought tears to her eyes. Her stomach quickened, and she swayed on her feet.
She wanted this man, this outlaw, who made her feel a hundred things she’d never experienced before. Her heart pounded like the hooves of a thousand wild horses on the plains.
Jack broke the kiss and mumbled against her mouth. “Lady, you’re not too smart taking up with the likes of me.”
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I wish we could stay like this forever and no one would ever find us.”
“That’s not possible.”
“I know.” And that’s what scared her. The posse would never give up, and when they arrested him, what then? They might hang him. Her blood froze. In the books she’d read, posses often strung up outlaws from the nearest tree without benefit of a trial.
He already carried a bullet in his hip. What more would they do? A lot more. They could take his life. A shudder ran through her.
“What’s wrong?” He tightened his hold around her. “Cold?”
“Hold me, Jack. There are monsters in the dark.”
“I’ll get rid of them for you.”
As if he could. But for now, she’d curl into the safety of his arms and try not to think about the coming morrow.
He found her upturned lips again and branded her with a kiss while his palms slid along the curves of her hungry body. He rested his hands firmly on her bottom and anchored her to him.
Jack Bowdre was hers, and she would fight tooth and nail to keep him.
Tonight, she was going to sleep beside him, not because she had to, but because it was the only place she wanted to be.
Ten
The low fire popped. Nora lay with her back tucked against Jack, his arm laying across her hip. She was cold but wouldn’t complain. He must be too. “Are you asleep?”
“What’s wrong?”
“My thoughts keeping me awake, I guess.”
“Monsters in the dark?”
“Afraid so.” She sighed. “Maybe if I talk a little more. Do you object?”
“Nope. Is Flynn O’Brien on your mind?”
“Good guess. I keep hearing his voice, hollering such hateful, horrible, degrading things to me.”
“What kind of things?”
“That I was fat and ugly and made him sick. He said no one would ever want me.”
Jack shifted. “I want you.”
Warmth spread through her and she wasn’t cold anymore. “I wasn’t fishing for that.”
“I meant what I said. I want you for my wife.”
“And I want you for a husband.” She smiled in the dim light of the flickering fire.
“What else did the rat bastard say?” Jack’s low growl scared her a little.
“That I disgusted him. Said I was too stupid to live, and he wished a thousand times over I’d just get run down and trampled by horses. That started about six months after he brought me to his house. I was only fourteen. According to him, I couldn’t do anything right. He’d scream it out in a fit of rage, and the sound would bounce off the stone walls of the mansion and crash inside my head. Those words hurt as much as a fist. Or more. He would tell me over and over that no one would miss me if I suddenly disappeared.”
“Why did he teach you to keep the books then?”
“Because he had no one else with the skills that he could depend on, and he couldn’t do it himself. He never had any schooling. His enemies would love to know that—it was a secret he guarded very carefully. He controlled every aspect of my life. Bought whatever he thought I needed and never let me shop for myself. He kept me in line with threats and insults.”
She paused, fighting down crushing horror. “H
e used to keep a bag of snakes, and he’d threaten to let them out on me if I didn’t do as he said. He liked to take a snake out and bring it close until I would beg and agree to whatever he wanted.”
“Now I know where your fear of reptiles comes from.”
“Once Flynn dumped the whole sack on a man who’d disobeyed him.” Her voice broke. “I watched him die, writhing in pain from their bites. That’s why I’m so terrified of the slimy things.”
Jack released a low oath. When he spoke, his words were stone cold and as hard as granite. “If I’d been there, I would’ve slit his throat.”
His glittering eyes were chilling. What she saw even in the dim light sent a shiver up her spine. Those who sought him had best be afraid. “I will never, ever ask you to kill for me.”
“As my wife, you’ll never have to.”
Nora considered his soft words and the hardness underneath. She would have to be careful or she’d put him in even greater danger of arrest for murder.
With a troubled sigh, she laid her hand on his stubbled jaw. “I wish we lived far away from Texas, someplace where no one would find us. Maybe California.”
“Darlin’, men like these are everywhere, not just in Texas. You can’t escape them. There are thousands of O’Briens and bad marshals in the world.” He gently kissed her and smoothed back her curls. “I wish I could give you the life you deserve. The only thing I can promise is that I’ll do my best to make you happy.”
“Jack, why did you tell me that you wanted me as your wife now, instead of waiting to reach Hope’s Crossing like you’d said?”
“You might as well know. We may not live to reach there.”
A quiet filled Nora. He must really believe that to say it aloud, and that frightened her. “Do these lawmen know that’s where we’re headed?”
“I’m sure they have a pretty good guess.”
“And after we reach there, you still may not be safe?”
“We’ll have a far better chance there than out here in the open. Hope’s Crossing was an outlaw hideout once, until we decided to make it into a town. The beauty is that there’s only one way in and one way out. It’s surrounded on all sides by steep walls, and it’s built like a fortress. Block the entrance, and no one can get in unless they scale down the sides by rope. That’s why they’re desperate to stop me from reaching there.”
No one had to tell her the lengths to which desperate men would go.
She snuggled against him. “Let’s talk about something else. When did you kiss your first girl?”
“Don’t recall. My memory doesn’t go back that far.”
“Come on, Jack. Everyone remembers their first kiss. Or maybe you just went around kissing all the girls.” She smiled. “Of course, that’s got to be it.”
Jack didn’t smile, not even a little. After several heartbeats, he let out a long breath that ruffled the hair at her temple. “She was Lucy Shane. She was twelve and I was fourteen, I believe. Her father caught us in the barn and laid into me with his fists. Said I was a no-account, and if he caught me with his daughter again, he’d kill me. He yelled that I was rotten, just like my father.”
Nora’s stomach twisted. “Why your father?”
“Orin Bowdre was an outlaw, a robber, and a bastard. He was as mean a man as you’ve ever seen. I always swore I’d never end up like him.” Jack barked a laugh. “Now look at me.”
“I never met your father, but I know you’re nothing like him.”
He snorted. “Maybe you’re wearing blinders.”
“Well, I’m not. Is your father still alive?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care. I saw wanted posters on him when I was a lawman, but the last time I laid eyes on him, we fought. Over my mother and two sisters. Orin came home drunk and started beating my sisters, calling them despicable names. Mother tried to stop him, and she got the worst.” Jack fell silent and she wasn’t sure he’d go on.
After several minutes, he let out a troubled sigh. “Orin kept pounding her with his fists even after she fainted. Her face was a bloody mess. I fought with him and knocked him out cold, then packed Mother’s and the girls’ bags and drove them to the stage line. They went to live with my widowed aunt on a farm in Hardeman County. I go by to see them now and again. My sisters married good men, and Mother is happier than I’ve ever seen her.”
“I’m glad. Everyone deserves some happiness. How often do you get to see them?”
“I try to swing by every two or three months. I’m due for a visit.”
“Did you have any brothers?”
“One brother. He died when I was probably twelve or so. You?”
“No. My mother was never able to have any more. They died in the womb.”
He wound a lock of her hair around his finger. “What about you? Tell me about your first kiss.”
“You’re going to laugh. Tommy Smith and I were out behind the house, in a cluster of blackberry bushes. We were about eight or nine years old and supposed to have been picking berries for a pie. He put his arm around me and gave me a big sloppy kiss. About that time my mother called from the back door and I jerked my head around—and as I did, my hair wrapped around a button on his shirt. The more I tried to get loose, the tighter it held me.” Nora chuckled with the memory.
Jack caressed her arm. “What did you do?”
“Nothing I could do except to crawl out and let my mother get me loose. She had to snip my hair, and I had a gap there for the longest time. Tommy’s face was bloodred. Once he was free, he ran home, and the only time he came back was with his mother when she visited mine. We never went near those blackberry bushes together again.”
The fire crackled in the silence and something scurried nearby, only this time she wasn’t afraid because Jack held her in his arms.
She glanced up at the moon overhead, praying that Jack was wrong and they’d reach Hope’s Crossing safely and marry.
This man, who’d already gone through such tremendous loss and torment, held her so tenderly, as though she was a priceless treasure. She lifted his hand to kiss his palm and sent up a silent plea that they would get to live out their days together.
* * *
Morning neared when Jack awoke with Nora in his arms, a hand resting on the curve of her hip. As predicted, a light dusting of snow covered both them and the ground. A surprise snow wasn’t unusual in the early spring. He’d gotten up several times during the night to add wood to the fire, and it still burned, but the flames had gotten low. He carefully eased away from Nora.
She stirred. “Jack?”
“Just going to throw more wood on the fire. I’m cold and you probably are too.”
“Don’t be too long. I need your warmth.”
He chuckled softly. “Just my body heat, not me? Isn’t that just like a woman. I reckon I need yours too. It’s chilly.”
They should probably get up and start the day, but it was still dark, and he was cold—and, well, Nora called to him. He warmed his hands by the tall flames of the fire and lay back down beside her. He drew her lush curves against him, opened his duster, and put it around her, sharing his heat.
“Mmmmm, I could stay like this all day.” Nora nuzzled into the folds of his shirt.
“We’d get awfully hungry, and I haven’t been feeding you enough as it is.” He closed his eyes to soak up the feel of her—contentment he’d not had in a very long while. Now if he could keep them safe long enough to claim her for his own…
But Seamus Belew was searching high and low. How long before he found them?
Jack buried his face in her hair, loving the softness. She wiggled her bottom against him and proof of his desire rose. If only they had a blanket to shield them from the snow. But even if they did, he didn’t want their first time to be on the hard ground, hungry and cold, him smelling like some rank mountain man who’d missed h
is yearly bath.
He swept her hair aside and kissed the back of her neck. “When we get out of danger and this cold, I’m going to lay you down and make you mine,” he growled.
Silently, she reached for his hand, tucked it through the opening of her coat where she’d undone the buttons. Her skin was like warm velvet. His breath stilled.
“Touch me, Jack. Run your fingers across my skin. I’m yours just as much now as when we’re married.”
Without a word, he slid his hand over the soft mounds of her breasts and down her ribs, memorizing, savoring—wanting.
His heart thudded with the unexpected joy shooting through him.
Nora rolled to face him and unbuttoned his shirt. Slowly, she explored his chest, kissing each inch. Then she laid her face against his flesh.
“I didn’t know I was getting such a well-muscled husband. I thought at best you’d be like Lazlo Parker.”
“Who the hell is Lazlo Parker?”
“He ran the mercantile in Buffalo. His sleeves bulged with his muscles. Lazlo could lift a fifty-pound sack of flour in one arm and pick up a second in the other.”
“Do tell.” Jack grinned. Nora seemed pretty easy to impress.
“I once saw him lift a wagon that was loaded to the gills with household goods and move it over to make room for another wagon to pass by. He was very tall too. Good-looking, if you didn’t count the hair growing in his ears and nose.”
“I take it that didn’t earn him points.”
“Good heavens, no. I couldn’t stand to look at that man.”
“I imagine not.” A grin teased his lips.
“I inspected you while you weren’t watching.”
“And?”
“No hair in your ears and nose.” She paused and lowered her voice. “I liked what I saw. You’re a handsome man, Jack Bowdre.”
“I’m glad you think so.” Jack buried his face in her hair. “I still think you got a raw deal when you answered my letters.”
