Okay, so it wasn’t really a nightmare that I had. The dream was weird and horribly violent, but in all honesty, I felt exalted by the carnage. That’s a bizarre thing considering it was me committing the bloodshed in this odd trick of my subconscious.
In the dream, I was among all these armored...I guess I’d have to call them people. They were not similar in any way to Earthers or Kalquorians. The bodies were wrong, with massive wide shoulders, arms, and legs that made mountain o’ Oses look constructed of twigs. The waists of these men were tiny in comparison. Their heads, while twice the circumference of mine, were also small in proportion to these great, behemoth bodies.
Clad in gray stonelike armor, with attached green fleshy pouches and tubes running all over them, I had no idea how these beings might appear beneath their war garb. The armor was freaky the way it resembled granite – or maybe even bone. Nothing at all showed of their true selves beneath the protective shells. Even the eye openings in their helmets were covered with green lenses that matched the tubes and pouches. They were terrifying, and not just because they were inhuman and huge. The scariest thing about them was that there was no hint of what they might be underneath all that stony plating.
I was one of them.
We stalked across a burning wasteland in a long line. There were at least two dozen of us walking abreast, a wall of pure, unstoppable destruction. Small buildings, now no more than smoking mounds of debris, fell behind us as we searched for anything living...not to save, but to destroy. I and my companions had created this landscape of destruction, a plain of rubble and death. Charred body parts, which I recognized as belonging to a small, sentient four-legged species called the Barinem, scattered like breadcrumbs all around us. We stomped across the plain, crunching the bones of the dead beneath our heavy armor-plated boots.
We had won the fight, but nothing less than complete eradication of this village would do. I growled deep in my chest, anticipating finding something to kill. I burned for my enemy’s blood. The destruction I had wrought exalted me. I knew there was more to be had.
My growl turned into a roar as a middling group of four-legged Barinem sprang from behind a low wall forty feet away. The bedraggled remnants of my enemy’s warriors came at us at full speed, their furred red-brown legs blurring as they made their final charge. Their long ears flapped against their heads, their tongues lolled out of long muzzles with lips wrinkled in snarls. They came at us full bore, explosive blow tubes clenched in their front teeth. They looked fierce, but the light in their eyes had been put out. Their bodies worked for now and they fought on, but the Barinem knew they were dead. Their explosives were too weak the penetrate our armor. We were strong and infallible. We could not be stopped.
A surge of murderous glee filled me. I brought my massive percussion blaster up in perfect sync with my fellow soldiers and sighted on the Barinem closing the distance. I squeezed the trigger.
“Shalia, wake up.”
My eyes flew open to find both Oses and Betra leaning over me. I was startled to find myself in my bed...and human.
“That must have been a bad one,” Betra said, his gaze worried. “You sounded as if you were right on the brink of a fight.”
More akin to the end of one, and I was winning. I was irritable that I wasn’t going to finish the dream and taste the victory that had been within my grasp.
“I’m fine,” I grumbled. “Go back to sleep.”
Oses glared at me. “You sounded as Nobek as any I’ve ever heard, growling and snarling. Are you sure you’re okay?”
I glowered in return. “I’m fine. I was dreaming about being in a fight and I had ‘em beat. You would have loved it, big man. It was a total rout. I was bad-ass to the max.”
The weapons commander grinned. “I’m sorry we woke you then. I love those types of dreams.”
My pique with the pair vanished. “I bet you do. I wish I always felt that unstoppable.”
Betra snickered, shook his head, and settled down. “Maybe you can get back into it then, warrior woman.”
I went to sleep fairly quickly, but I did not have the dream again. I guess I’ll never know what those poor, doomed Barinem were trying to protect. It occurred to me that they must have been shielding something from me and my warrior fellows. Otherwise, they would have run from what was certain death instead of meeting it head on. They’re known as a peaceful species, fighting only when it is absolutely necessary.
Boy, that dream was so real and invigorating. I’d rather not see myself as a heartless killer, but I wish I could have finished it nonetheless.
May 15
I heard from Clan Aslada, the second-ranked potential lifemates on my list. Not a bad bunch of guys.
Dramok Aslada, he of the dark and brooding looks, is not quite so dark and brooding when he smiles. That was nice to see. He stood in the middle of his clan in the vid transmission and bowed when I started the playback.
“Greetings, Matara Shalia. I am Aslada, governor of the Eporu continent’s Western Seaboard Territory. I was delighted to receive your com telling us we meet your preliminary expectations for clanmates.”
A tad formal, but his tone was friendly enough. Dramok Seot had been somewhat formal in his introduction too. It was only lately that I’d begun to see some of his and Nobek Larten’s true personalities. Cifa had been an open book right from the start.
Aslada continued. “You of course will remember my Nobek, Jaon.”
Big intense chunk of masculinity bowed in turn. “Greetings, Matara. I am looking forward to meeting you in person. Thank you for considering us.”
Short and sweet...well, as sweet as a fella could be who looks as if he’d be happiest ripping bad guys limb from limb. I wonder what this guy does to relax? Punching Tragooms comes to mind. One thing about it; no fool will dare mess with me if this guy ends up being my Nobek. I do enjoy those dangerous-looking fellows more than I should.
Aslada introduced the third member of their group. “My Imdiko, Meyso.”
The curly-haired bit of gorgeous took his turn bowing. His smile was warm, and I had to return it even though I knew I beamed at a recording. “Hello, Matara Shalia. I am delighted to have heard from you.”
Aslada smiled winningly...maybe a bit too winningly. It reminded me that he was a politician. I told myself that perhaps Kalquorian politicians were probably a far cry from Earther ones. I can’t hold it against him.
“Thank you so much for telling us more about yourself. It’s wonderful that you’ve decided to better acquaint yourself with us before you reach our planet and that you have also shared some of your concerns. We have sent a message to your parents, Clan Bitev. We sent another to their Matara, Joelle, as you requested. Your Nobek father is more than welcome to check our backgrounds so that he is reassured his daughter is courted by a worthwhile clan of rank.”
Okay. So far so good. The more Aslada spoke of personal matters, the less he sounded like he was trying to win an election. I saw a little of the commanding but likable personality behind the effort to make a good impression.
Nobek Jaon spoke up. “I have taken the additional step of sending Nobek Rak the records from my military service as well as my current position as a Convict Reclamations officer. I want him to know his daughter will be protected as a member of my clan, should you decide to make us your lifemates.”
Okay, big points for that. Although I could hardly imagine anyone doubting Jaon’s ability to keep people safe. He is made of intimidation. Me being me, I was turned on by looking at the brute. The hormones kicked in again.
Imdiko Meyso took his turn. “I have requested your mother’s scans and records from the ship’s doctor, as well as the team that took care of her on Earth. I believe your Imdiko father Nayun was part of that group? I sent a request directly to him, in case he is able to facilitate the records transfer. If you are agreeable, I will put a plan of treatment in place for Matara Eve to be enacted as soon as you arrive on Kalquor.”
We
ll, damn. Having a brain surgeon as a suitor was turning out to be handy. My dads would have to research how good Meyso was at his job. Do I dare hope?
Aslada finished up winning my goodwill by reassuring me, “Of course your mother is welcome to live in our home. We Kalquorians revere our mothers, and it speaks well of you that you do the same, despite the difficulties yours has faced.”
I felt bad about that. I can hardly say I revere my mom, though I certainly love her. I come up plenty short as a daughter.
They didn’t forget the most important thing to me either. “We are excited at the prospect of being fathers to your child, Matara. Until your people started immigrating to the empire, we had despaired of having that chance.”
Now the three men were all smiling, real smiles. Even Jaon looked thrilled at the hope. I’ll admit, my heart melted at the sight of those big tough guys enthralled with the idea of being daddies. It’s amazing when I’m confronted with Kalquorian bruisers who think fatherhood is the best thing in the universe. My dads, Clan Seot, and now Clan Aslada...it means so much to them. They wear their need for children on their sleeves.
I had been sure Clan Seot wouldn’t have any real competition. I don’t know though...Aslada, Meyso, and Jaon are making a pretty good first try. We’ll have to see how our continued communications pan out.
May 16
Oh my gosh, I’m shaking. I can’t believe what just happened.
It all started when Katrina showed up at my door early this afternoon, along with Ama and Mihi. “Candy won’t leave her quarters. She won’t talk to me, and she’s not spoken to these guys in three days.”
I blinked in surprise at the rush of words. Okay, so Candy had been distant and moody lately. I thought she felt bad about erupting at Katrina over color schemes for the club several days back. They had made up with much apologizing and tears, just as I’d suspected they would. I had been under the impression that everything was all right. I was so wrong about that.
“Did you have another fight? Or did she get in an argument with you two?” I asked the men.
Mihi’s scarred face was thunderous but worried, as was Ama’s. I’ve noticed that Nobeks don’t deal well with emotional upheaval, so they tend to duck behind their tempers. God love those macho beasts.
“The last time we saw her, she was perhaps quieter than usual, but pleasant. Still...um, amorous. She acted happy with our company.” Ama reddened, obviously in discomfort over discussing the intimate nature of his last Candy encounter.
Mihi added, “We had no indication we had disappointed her in any way. Yet our coms have gone unanswered. She failed to show up for our regular date yesterday, and when we came to visit her today, she told us to go away. We can’t get any explanation out of her.”
“Things haven’t been the same between me and Candy since we had that disagreement.” Katrina’s gaze brightened with tears, and she blinked hard before continuing. “Maybe she’ll talk to you, Shalia?”
“Sure.” I slid a pair of shoes on that I kept by my door. I couldn’t help but give myself a quick check in the nearby mirror. I wore a long-sleeved dress that flowed nicely over my baby bump. I looked good enough for public consumption, I decided. “Let’s find out what’s up with Ms. Moody Pants.”
I led the way...all of about two dozen steps. Candy’s rooms weren’t far from mine. I pressed her door announce. “Candy, it’s Shalia. Can I come in?”
A few seconds later a voice answered. “Are you alone?”
The tone was so the opposite of Candy’s usual bubbly sound that for a moment, I was sure it wasn’t her. I even doublechecked to make sure I was at the right door. “Candy? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Door, open.”
The door complied. As I’d never told her I was by myself and she hadn’t said they couldn’t come in, Katrina and the Nobeks entered with me.
The room was dim. I could see well enough to gape at Candy, who sat on her lounger. My first thought was that she was sick. Like, take-her-to-Medical sick.
Her eyes were hollowed pits, the circles beneath them damned near black. Her pretty blond hair had obviously not been brushed since she woke this morning. She’d also not bothered with makeup...not that Candy needs to wear it, but she prefers to be put together.
Her clothing was odd too. She hadn’t worn pants from the day we’d boarded the transport back on Earth. She always wears some cute, flouncy skirt. Yet today she wore loose-fitting pants, heavy boots, and a concealing tunic. The weirdest thing about her ensemble were the work gloves on her hands...the big, insulating kind that someone dealing with electrical panels or machinery might wear for protection.
She stood and glared at Katrina, Ama, and Mihi. “Why are they here? I anticipated you showing up alone.”
“They’re worried about you.” I couldn’t disguise my confused concern. “I can understand why. You’re scaring me. Candy, what is with you? What’s going on?”
She stared at me, looking me up and down. “The time is not right. You can go now.”
Before I could respond that I wasn’t going anywhere until she told me what the hell was wrong, Ama stepped forward. He appeared angry. “No one is going anywhere until you tell us what is happening. This is not the woman I know.”
Mihi was quick to take up the protest, coming to Ama’s side. “You are acting strangely, Candy. Explain yourself.”
Her laugh was a hollow bark, nothing I’d heard from Candy’s mouth before. “Explain myself? To you primitive savages, animals that are best suited to be kept on leashes? Get out of my way.”
With that astonishing statement, Candy marched up to the men. She shoved them aside.
When I say she shoved them aside, I don’t mean she strained to squeeze between them. No, she thrust those hulks apart with such force that they staggered. Candy couldn’t have been half the weight of either man, and yet she damned near tossed them across the room. Impossible, yet I saw it.
Katrina and I were so astonished that we stayed frozen in place as Candy stalked past us to leave her quarters. We watched her go, our mouths hanging open. My eyes threatened to pop out of my skull from surprise.
We didn’t move to go after Candy until the Nobeks recovered from their near-falls and amazement. When Mihi and Ama went running out of the quarters after Candy, our paralysis snapped. We raced out behind the Kalquorians to find them trotting up and down the hall, calling Candy’s name. She was nowhere to be found.
I wasted not a second in comming Oses and Betra when we couldn’t locate Candy. In this case, I’m happy my Nobek lover is on leave from his duties as weapons commander. Otherwise, he would have had to send an underling to deal with the matter. After all, on the surface Candy’s actions boiled down to nothing more than a grouchy woman storming off on her friends and lovers.
Yet Katrina, Ama, Mihi, and I agreed there was more to it than that. Candy was acting unlike herself. Something was wrong.
We discussed the problem with Oses and Betra, detailing the fight Candy had gotten into with Katrina a few days ago, her quiet demeanor since, avoiding her Nobek friends for no reason, and then her bizarre behavior minutes ago.
Oses listened carefully. He asked Betra, “Have you observed Matara Candy acting in such a manner before?”
Betra’s brow creased in worry. “The girl is always as sweet as she can be. Even when she’s mad, she’s more likely to pout than go on the attack.”
Katrina spilled tears off and on as we talked. Her cheeks were red from her rubbing them dry. “It’s not just the attitude. She tossed these two brutes as if they were dolls. How could she have done that?”
Ama straightened. “I wouldn’t say she tossed us. My feet never left the ground.”
I had no time to waste on Nobek pride. “Okay, so she didn’t throw you, but that was a pretty powerful shove. She damned near knocked you both on your butts.”
“Psychotic breakdowns can allow people to demonstrate more strength than is typical,” Oses mused. “Plus, no
man would expect someone that dainty to get physical. Catching you unawares probably had a lot to do with it.”
I centered on the initial part of Oses’s statement. “Psychotic breakdown! What makes you say that? Candy’s never shown any sign of psychological issues.”
“Some people fall apart with no warning. It could be her typical cheerful attitude was a mask for problems all along.”
Betra scratched his head, concerned. “That’s kind of hard for me to swallow when it comes to Candy, but you have a point. She survived Earth’s Armageddon, but her family died. She’s been through plenty of danger and stress in the last few months, the same as the rest of you women. It is a possibility she’s in some sort of emotional crisis.”
Katrina, of course, saw to the heart of the situation. “The first thing we need to do is find Candy. We need to make sure she’s safe– that she won’t hurt herself. The rest can wait until then.”
Shalia's Diary Omnibus Page 105
