He fucked me for a long while. Getting off earlier had given Seot better control over himself, and he used it to his advantage. While he stroked quick and hard or slow and easy, he and the other two continued to play with me. The sensitizing gel’s worst effects began to ebb, but slowly. I continued to feel the effects for some time. The coils were removed from my nipples, and Cifa and Larten delighted and tormented my breasts in turn. Lovingly licking one second, bringing down the switch on them the next, they kept me in constant turmoil as Seot thrust over and over. He came inside me, his main cock jerking as he filled me with his passion…but he did not let me go with him.
“Naughty girl,” he moaned as his cock gave a last twitch. A moment later, he slipped out. Larten replaced him.
The Nobek was forceful, thudding hard against me until I approached that long-denied orgasm. Then he went still, grinning like a wolf as I shuddered beneath him, feeling climax inch away yet again. I wept. I pleaded around the gag for release, knowing there would be none. Still they played with me, keeping me aroused, keeping me desperate, keeping me from coming.
Larten told me over and over how good I felt, how he enjoyed having me tied and open to use at his whim. “I could keep you like this forever,” he snarled, his thrusts battering me ever closer to another denial. “I love the idea of you tied down in a room with nothing to do but wait for me to fuck you.”
His dark fantasy fed mine. I imagined myself left on the chair, constantly ready for the sexual attentions of these men, existing only for their satisfaction. If only I could have satisfaction of my own!
It was not to be, not with Larten. He too had his pleasure, mingling his seed with Seot’s inside me. I was left quaking with unrequited need. They really were planning to keep me from climax. I sobbed without shame, wanting and hurting with no end in sight.
Cifa sheathed himself in me with a happy sigh. “That’s good. That’s right,” he moaned, rocking slowly back and forth. “Little Shalia is so warm. Look at that poor swollen clit. How you must be suffering.”
“Is it torture? Is it heaven? Or is it both?” Seot whispered in my ear. I jerked a nod at the last option. “I thought so,” he chuckled. “You are so perfect, Shalia. I’ve known it from the moment I first saw you on the vid, introducing yourself. Somehow, I knew.”
His words wove through my head as Cifa enjoyed me. I was in knots on the inside, only able to concentrate on the excruciating demands of my sex. They had kept me on the threshold of climax for ages. Would I ever be allowed to orgasm? Sweet prophets, I needed to so badly.
Cifa’s dreamy-eyed enjoyment intensified, and his pace quickened. My position allowed me an excellent view of his cocks moving in and out of me. The veins stood out in livid relief. Soon he would come. Then what? Would it be Seot again? Would they continued to take turns claiming their fill of bliss while denying me the same? Or would they amuse themselves all night with more teasing until I lost all sanity?
A low hum clicked on. My gaze moved from watching my cunt and ass get fucked to Seot. He held the pad-ended vibrator again. He stared at Cifa. “Let me know when you’re close.”
“Getting…there. Almost. Almost. Just…just a few more seconds…”
The Dramok’s attention turned to me. “Your penance has been paid. Thank you for letting us enjoy you. But be warned,” he said with a cruel grin, “if you ever do truly misbehave, I now know exactly how to punish you.”
Before I could unravel his words, he lowered the vibrator to my mound, letting it settle against my clit. This time, he didn’t take it from me.
I detonated in an instant. The climax was huge, blasting through me with a force that left me unaware of anything else. It wasn’t done when I crested again, another monstrous explosion. And again. And again.
My pussy seized with ceaseless orgasm. I don’t know if my body had decided to obtain every last climax it had been denied or if it was racing to get through as many as possible before it wasn’t allowed to have any again. All I remember was that they piled on top of each other until I forgot how to breathe.
I don’t know how many minutes passed before I felt a glass press to my lips. “Drink, Shalia,” Cifa’s voice encouraged me. “Come on, sweet love. Take some water.”
I swallowed and discovered how thirsty I was. I gulped water in a hurry then, my senses coming back online as I did so. I blinked to discover I was in bed with the men, Cifa and Seot curled against me and Larten hovering at my blanketed feet. The Nobek held another glass of water in his hand and gave it to Cifa as soon as I’d drained the first. I got halfway through the second one before I came up for air.
“Welcome back,” Seot said. “Are you all right?”
My sex ached in the best possible respects. I felt warm and lazy and oh-so-satisfied. My grin must have answered for me, because the men burst into laughter.
“Now that was a ride,” I said. “When do we go again?”
December 24
I must be going crazy. One moment, I’m positive life is so perfect that it scares me. Then – boom! The bottom drops out.
Last night’s sex was mind blowing. Perhaps the best I’ve had. Afterward, the men held me as we snuggled together like a pile of puppies. We chatted about the remainder of the cruise. Of what we’d do when we got back home. Of various festivals held throughout the year that the clan enjoyed and wanted to take me to. And even long-range plans. We were discussing a future that had us all together, and it felt incredible to imagine such plans. So incredible that as I fell asleep, I thought I might accept Clan Seot as mine. I thought perhaps I’d do it in the morning, as soon as everyone was up.
Morning came, and I woke. As I lay there between the men, I started to second-guess all of it. I was supposed to give Clan Aslada a chance to make their case, drama and mama-free. Had I determined which was the better clan to raise Anrel? Clan Seot was more hands-on, but the manny Clan Seot had hired, Imdiko Snoy, was devoted to her. There wasn’t any advantage Clan Aslada wouldn’t give my child.
I kept telling myself to slow down with the choosing. I’d promised I’d keep the relationships at a pace that would allow me to tease out all the stuff that wasn’t pretty about any clan I considered. Whether the negatives were the kinds I could live with or deal breakers. I had plenty of time to decide, didn’t I? Ah, but there was another concern.
Unable to stay in bed with those who were unaware they were wrecking all my carefully laid plans, I slipped out of the sheets. Three pairs of purple eyes blinked at me.
“Bathroom.” I rushed off.
I locked the door behind me and confronted myself before the lavatory mirror as I belted my robe on. “This is not a game, Shalia. They clan for life. No divorce. No do-overs. It’s not only my future I’m deciding, but Anrel’s too. I can’t fuck this up.”
It had seemed so right the night before. Even forgetting the brain-busting sex, there was the warmth, the camaraderie. Maybe more. I was emotionally invested with this clan, as I had been with Clan Dusa and Betra and Oses. Even Nang. Good heavens, look at what a mistake that had been. What if I was hooked on men as screwy as Nang?
I needed perspective. Thinking of those I knew I could trust, I decided to vent to Betra. Sure, he was two days away as far as com reception was concerned, but I could at least record a message.
I spoke into my portable unit, left on a shelf as I’d gotten dressed the day before. I’d hardly used it since coming on board, forgetting it in the bathroom or sleeping room for the most part. I was glad it was in there then, allowing me to pour my cares out to Betra.
I told him all that had happened thus far on the cruise, and how I’d been on the brink of becoming Clan Seot’s Matara. “I’m being stupid. I know, what’s new? Ha ha. Betra, it’s too soon for me to make this decision. Much too soon. Didn’t I just have a falling-out with Cifa? What if he’s too damned protective of his company’s precious image in every project we do together? What if that passive-aggressive sniping wasn’t a one-off?
; “Seot gets whatever he wants with a word. I swear, Betra, it’s mind control, and I don’t care when it’s happening even if I recognize it. I can’t be ready to fling all my independence to him because he uses that tone of voice or that look. Sure, he checks in for everyone’s opinion as long as we’re not behaving like assholes, but is it window dressing? Does that democracy change when I commit to his clan?
“I’m finding problems where there aren’t any yet. Still, I can’t agree to let Anrel be parented by any but the best. The worst part is, I can’t guarantee that no matter how I try or how long I wait. What do I do? I’m with a clan that appears great on paper, but can I trust it?”
I sighed, recognizing how crazy I sounded. “Am I making any sense at all? I’m scared I’ll screw up by not clanning these guys while I can…before they come to their senses…but I’m scared I’ll screw up by clanning them and finding out they’re the wrong clan.
“That’s what it boils down to, those two concerns. I’m not worth them waiting for me to take my time as I planned. On the other hand, I’m terrified they’re not the right clan to be fathers to Anrel. You can’t pick a clan for me, Betra, but I’d sell my soul to talk this out with you in the flesh. You know me at my nutsy-est and how to get me to see the forest for the trees. I feel there’s something I should understand about this, that it’s staring me in the face and would settle all my questions once and for all. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what that is! Help me, Betra.”
There wasn’t much to say beyond that. I signed off and saved the message. I wasn’t sure if I would send it or not. I thought I probably would. The emotional highs and lows of my relationship with Clan Seot were becoming far too extreme for me to cope with.
Before I exited the bath, I stopped to consider why I was so crazy-worked up. Because I was. I couldn’t have been more overwhelmed by the emotions sweeping through me. The terror and dread filling my stomach made no sense when I considered my options. The feelings were there, however. There had to be a reason why I felt that way…but I’ll be damned if I knew what it was.
I drew a deep breath to settle myself. It took several more before I could compose my expression to greet the guys. I finally managed it, however, and I ordered the door to unlock and open.
Larten stood on the other side of the door. “I was waiting for my turn.” Behind him, Seot and Cifa were on the sleeping mat in their shorts and playing with the baby. They were laughing.
“It’s all yours.” I fought to recover from Larten’s startling appearance. I hadn’t expected him to be right there.
He looked at me for a long moment. He opened his mouth and shut it, his gaze darting off for an instant. Then he stared me in the eyes. “I heard you in there. I hadn’t intended to. I was just waiting. I heard some of what you said to your friend Betra. I take it you were sending him a message?”
I froze. I felt like a kid getting caught stealing candy in the grocery store and made by my mother to apologize for it.
“I didn’t send it,” I told him. “I was venting, that’s all. I’ve always been able to talk to him.”
“What about speaking to us, since we’re the ones you’re having a problem with?” Larten folded his arms over his chest, anger sparking in his eyes. “Why wouldn’t you come to us so we can try to work any issues out? Betra can’t solve this for you. He’s out there and you’re here. We’re here,” he continued, sweeping his arm towards his clanmates, who were now staring at us.
“As I said, I was venting. Trying to figure a few things out.” My voice was small.
“What’s going on?” Seot asked, climbing off the sleeping mat. His gaze riveted on Larten.
The Nobek turned to him. “Shalia was recording a message to Betra. She was picking us apart to him, rather than discussing our shortcomings with us.”
“No!” I was aghast. “You’re all wonderful. I’m trying to make an important decision, which has me freaking out all over the place. I was recording, not actually discussing it with him.”
“But you planned to send the message?” Seot asked, frowning.
“I don’t know.” I figured the situation was already fucked up. The truth wasn’t going to un-fuck it. “Betra understands me so well, maybe better than I know myself. I’ve used him as a sounding board when I’m confused. All I wanted was his objective take on the matter.”
“Shalia, I’m not comfortable with you bringing another man into the relationship we’re trying to build here,” Seot said.
“It’s not like that. He’s my friend.”
“That doesn’t matter.” Cifa carried Anrel over to join in. “This is our clan. If you’re to be part of it, you have to be willing to communicate with us. Not your former lover.”
“Absolutely.” Larten’s expression was less angry but stern. “I’ve met Betra, and he’s a fine man. He’s still not welcome in our personal matters.”
“Hey, he was around before you were.” My own anger flared. “I’m not having sex with him. I’m talking.”
“About matters that are not his concern.” Seot’s brows drew low. “This is between us, nobody else. That’s how a relationship works, Shalia. You keep your friends close, but not in the middle of your clan.”
Anrel burbled and held her arms out to me. I took her from Cifa. “You’re reading too much into this. I’m not putting Betra in the middle. I’m asking for his advice.”
“Before consulting with us about your concerns,” Larten said. “It’s not acceptable. A clan is four people at the most. Those four people speak to each other, not behind their clanmates’ backs.”
“You’re not my clanmates,” I shot, furious they weren’t attempting to understand. “If you expect me to cut my dearest friends out of my life, those who saved me on countless occasions, then find another woman.”
His tone anguished, Cifa asked me, “Why do you keep doing this? Whenever things go well, you distance yourself from us.”
Was he kidding? I’d been ready to join his clan only minutes ago. I’d had to remind myself of the reasons I shouldn’t!
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. What I see is you ganging up on me, not listening to a word I say. I don’t want to discuss it at all now.”
“Don’t walk out.” Seot put his hand on my arm to stop me from doing so.
“Anrel needs her breakfast, and I’ve got nothing else to say to you.”
He let me go. My stomach was heavy as lead. How had it gone bad so quickly?
On the deck, Candy was snuggling so hard with Stidmun, I didn’t have the heart to bother her with this latest drama. However, Joelle was all over Anrel the moment I brought her out. She took one look at me and suggested brightly, “Why don’t we eat in a quiet spot?”
We chose the deck on the bow, because everyone had a habit of gathering on the larger aft deck, where the breakfast buffet was set out. With no appetite, I snagged Anrel’s meal and a cup of coffee for myself and followed Joelle to the bow.
“Trouble in paradise again?” She settled on a seat cushion with Anrel in her lap.
“I don’t understand,” I moaned, covering my face with my hands. “I can’t figure it out what’s wrong with this picture. I reached out to the one person who might be able to tell me what I’m missing, and Seot, Larten and Cifa lost their minds.”
“Start from the beginning,” Joelle suggested, spooning mush into Anrel’s mouth.
I told my stepmom all of it, as best I could.
“On the surface, it sounds as if you’re making mountains out of molehills. I’m not discounting your fears, Shalia,” Joelle assured me. “If the relationship feels off, then you should be concerned. Other than feeling that Clan Seot might be too good to be true, you can’t pin down what’s bothering you.”
“I’m not sure it’s them.” I fantasized about pounding my head against the ship’s metal railing until it cracked open and the secret spilled out. “They’re every bit as amazing as they seem, but I know better than to trust that. Al
so, I promised Clan Aslada another shot, but it’ll feel I’m cheating on Clan Seot if I do so.”
“Let me ask you this,” Joelle said thoughtfully. “Does it feel immoral sleeping with Clan Seot? As if you’re cheating on Clan Aslada?”
“No. Not really.” I frowned. “Isn’t that weird?”
Joelle crooked a brow at me. “It sounds as if you made your decision, Shalia. You’re hopelessly in love with Clan Seot.”
My stomach lurched. “It’s too soon! I promised—”
“You promised Clan Aslada you’d return, but that was when you didn’t realize you would fall head over heels for Clan Seot.”
“Clan Aslada has done so much for me. I owe them.”
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