by Erin Osborne
“Let us know when you get there, Rage,” Grim tells me.
I nod in acknowledgment and get in the truck. Bailey kisses and hugs Kasey goodbye before we can finally be on our way to our future. There’s no way that I’ll accept anything less than Keegan coming back with us. This is where she belongs and it’s up to me to bring her back.
Keegan
The night I spent with Rage was one of the best I’ve ever had. Well, up until he called out another woman’s name. Whitney and the rest of the girls have tried to explain to me who Storm was, but I’m not hearing it. There’s no way I can compete with a ghost. I won’t be anyone’s second choice. I’ve spent too many years running and hiding to be made to feel less than what I am. I know what I’m worth and one day someone will see that.
Slim and his club have been amazing. Bailey and Whitney were the first two to know that I was leaving. Bailey made the arrangements for me to come and stay with the Phantom Bastards. It’s been a blast. Wood and Boy Scout have been by my side since I got here.
At first, I thought something was off with them. We went out a few times and I saw them checking out the girls. That’s not the strange part. The part that confused me in the beginning was overhearing them talking about sharing women. I thought they had some bisexual relationship going on. Which I don’t have a problem with at all. They explained to me that they share women and not one another. It’s never been physical between them. It’s just them sharing one woman. Trust me, I’m very interested in finding out what that’s all about. Too bad Rage won’t leave my mind.
“So, are we gonna play cards or what Keegan?” Boy Scout asks me.
“Yeah. Let me just get the cookies from the oven and I’ll be right in.”
A few nights a week, the guys and I play cards, watch movies, or just hang out talking. That’s after they’ve spent all day standing guard. On these nights, I either cook for them or we order takeout. It’s a blast and I usually end up in fits of laughter. Especially the night they tried to talk me into going to a club with them. They wanted to go find a piece of ass and decided that I’d make the perfect wingman. I’m not sure why, but they were hilarious in their attempts. It also didn’t hurt that Slim vetoed the idea when he said that I shouldn’t be exposed when we didn’t know where my dad and Sam were hiding.
“What kind of cookies firefly?” Wood asks, bringing in beer for them and soda for me.
“Chocolate chip. Well, they’re not really cookies. So, you can’t touch the pan until I’m completely done with it. It’s gotta cool and then I add stuff to them.”
“You’re really gonna make us wait?” Boy Scout pouts.
“I know you’re pouting in there, Boy Scout. If you keep it up, you won’t get anything at all. Pull up your big boy pants and deal with it,” I tell him, letting the smile spread across my face.
I can hear Wood’s laughter and I know that Boy Scout is turning red. Yeah, he may be a badass biker, but he still blushes every now and then. It’s cute and endearing. Now I know that when I get in there, he’s going to do something to get pay back. These two are like brothers I never had and didn’t necessarily want.
Walking in to the living room, I see they’ve already set the table up and Wood is dealing the cards out. I’m guessing that we’re going to be playing our standard game of poker. Too bad I don’t know how to play. If we played strip poker, I’d be naked in a matter of seconds. Wood suggested that one night and I thought Boy Scout was going to choke on his beer. He was trying so hard not to laugh, but it didn’t necessarily work. Wood may have ended up covered in beer before too long.
“Poker again guys?” I ask.
“You know it,” Wood tells me, smiling his wolfish smile.
I sit down so we can play, and the guys take my mind off anything that may be on it. We play for an hour and a half and I finally decide to put Boy Scout out of his misery. Walking into the kitchen, I pull out the peanut butter and chocolate frosting. I made chocolate chip cookies into brownies. Now, I’m going to put a layer of peanut butter on them and then finish it off with chocolate frosting. Riley used to love these things. Kasey loves them too.
Boy Scout isn’t far behind me. He always keeps me company in the kitchen. Mainly because he wants to be the first one to get whatever I’m making. It doesn’t matter if I’m baking or cooking. If I’m honest, I think that if he had the choice, Wood wouldn’t get anything to eat while they’re here.
“Are they done yet?” Boy Scout asks, reminding me of an over-eager little boy waiting for a surprise.
“Almost. If you don’t calm down, I’m going to give the first piece to Wood and not you.”
“That’s not fair firefly,” he tells me, sitting down in the chair at the table. Wood isn’t far behind him.
Finally done, I cut them each a piece of the brownies. They gobble them down without taking a breath. I can’t help but double over in laughter at watching them eat. It’s like they haven’t eaten in days. Maybe months. I know for a fact that they had dinner because I had beef stew cooking in the crockpot all day. Then I made crescent rolls to go with it.
This is how my days now go. I almost wouldn’t change anything about it. But, Rage and Kasey aren’t here. They are the ones that I want to be spending my time with. I’m just not going to be some sort of replacement for him. He’s going to have to decide what he truly wants, then he can make a play for me. If that’s what he chooses.
Today, they’re taking me to the doctor. I haven’t been feeling very good and they want to make sure that no one’s tampered with anything I’ve come into contact with. Not only did I explain the situation, but Grim also called and talked to them. Thankfully, my dad hasn’t found me yet because I haven’t received any letters or flowers since I left Clifton Falls. I’m not sure if they’re still going there or not. Whitney hasn’t mentioned it and I haven’t asked.
“Firefly, are you ready to go?” Wood asks, coming in my room.
“Yeah. As ready as I’ll ever be I guess.”
“Boy Scout is waiting to lock up and arm the alarm system.”
We make our way outside and I get in the car I just bought. I’ve been working at the local restaurant and my tips and paychecks allowed me to buy a car. Especially when Slim won’t let me pay rent or anything else. We’ve had many arguments about it and I’ve lost every single time. I thought Rage was bossy, but he’s got nothing on Slim when he doesn’t want to budge on something. He takes bossy to whole new level. Shy is the only one I see that gives it right back to him. Those two are so funny to watch when they get going.
Wood has been driving my car while Boy Scout follows behind us. It gives me a peace of mind to know that I’m still being protected, but I can’t wait for the day that I can go out on my own without having to worry. When this is all done, I’ll be able to go out without having to look over my shoulder all the time. I won’t have to worry about those that I love and care about getting hurt just to get to me. Hopefully I get to see the day that it gets taken care of.
“Let me know if I have to pull over firefly,” Wood tells me.
There may have been an instance that I threw up in his truck. We were heading back from the clubhouse and I couldn’t wait. I had no time to tell him to pull over or to roll the window down. When he told me not to worry about cleaning his truck, I knew I couldn’t do that. So, the next day, I spent the entire day cleaning his truck out. He managed to get most of it done after making sure I got in bed. I just made sure to finish it and detail the rest of the truck while I was at it.
It doesn’t take that long to get to the doctor’s office. Thankfully. Wood follows me in while Boy Scout wait’s outside with the car. I go to the window and give them my name. The receptionist hands me a bunch of papers to fill out before giving her attention to the person behind me.
Walking over to Wood, I sit down to fill out the papers I’ve done dozens of times before. This is what I hate because I have to give my name and I don’t want to do anything that would c
ause my dad or Sam to find me. This time I’ll just have to suck it up and take my chances though. Two weeks of being sick is too long not to get checked out. At first, I thought I had caught the flu since it’s getting cold outside. Then I thought it could be from all the stress of not knowing when my dad and Sam will strike. Now, I don’t think it’s either of those things.
Before I’m done filling out all of the papers, which are repetitive I might add, a nurse calls me back. Wood stands up to follow me back and I go to stop him. Instead of sitting back down and waiting for me, he cocks an eyebrow and doesn’t say a word. I guess this is his way of letting me know that I’m not leaving his sight.
After doing everything the nurse asks me to do, I finally make it in to a room and sit on the table while Wood sit’s in the only chair in the room. She takes my vitals and then tells me to wait on the doctor. Before she makes it out of the room, I’m lunging for the garbage can. This is bullshit and I’m so tired from getting sick all the time. Hopefully today they can figure out what’s wrong and give me what I need to make this stop.
Wood holds my hair back and then helps me back on the exam table when I’m done getting sick. It always drains me, and I just want to take a nap. I’ll have to wait until I can get back to the house. As I lay back on the table, Wood finds paper towels that he wets down and puts on my forehead. This is the same stuff he does whenever he catches me getting sick. He’s such a sweetheart and I can’t wait until Boy Scout and him can find their own woman.
“Good morning Keegan,” the doctor says walking through the door. “I’m Doctor Sanchez.”
“Morning,” I mutter in reply.
“It says here that you haven’t been feeling very good for a few weeks. Let’s see what your chart says. Well, it looks like you don’t have the flu or anything. It looks like you’re pregnant,” she says, setting the chart down.
“What did you just say?” I ask, astonished beyond belief right now. “You must have someone else’s chart in your hand.”
“I’m sorry Keegan, this is definitely your chart. I take it this wasn’t expected,” she says, the sympathy pouring out of her.
“No, it wasn’t expected,” I tell her, looking over to Wood. “You can’t tell anyone. Promise me, Wood.”
“I can’t promise anythin’ firefly.”
“Why do you call me firefly?” I ask, even though this really isn’t the time to be talking about this.
“From the night you sat outside catchin’ fireflies when you first got here. I’ve never seen anyone sit there for hours tryin’ to catch them.”
“Well, it was more about thinking and trying to figure things out. Not necessarily about catching fireflies.”
Wood shrugs his shoulders and I know that I have a nickname from him and Boy Scout. I’m not sure if it’s going to catch on with anyone else for the club, but I’ll go with whatever right now. Doctor Sanchez explains what I’ll have to do during the rest of the pregnancy, gives me some pamphlets and scripts for vitamins and anti-nausea medicine, and then tells me she’ll see me in a month.
We walk back to the car and I can’t believe what I just found out. The one-time Rage and I are together, and I get pregnant. How the fuck does that happen to me? It must be something telling me to go back to Clifton Falls. There’s no way that I’m going to keep Rage’s baby from him. I guess we’re all getting what we want. Even if I’m scared shitless for multiple reasons.
No matter how much I fought against being with Rage, I’ve always wanted him. For once in my life I could see myself settling down and being with someone. Rage is the only one that brought that out in me. The only reason I left is because of him calling out Storm’s name. To me, it meant that he wanted someone else and I was just filling his time until she became his.
“You good firefly?” Wood asks as he helps me in my car.
“Um, I don’t honestly know. I think I just want to go to the house and take a nap. You guys can go do whatever it is you need to do.”
“No can do. We’ll be right by your side until you know what you wanna do,” he tells me, closing me in the car and heading to the driver’s side.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’m about to have a baby in a few months. Yeah, I’m probably only a month and a half pregnant, but I bet the next seven and a half months are going to fly by. Or, they’ll drag by because Rage is going to be a caveman and try to make me do what he wants me to do. I can see him trying to make me rest and do as little as possible for most of this pregnancy. Ha! That’s not going to happen.
When I laid down, I only wanted to sleep for a little bit. Waking up, I realize that I’ve slept for about four hours. Damn! Now, the day is gone and everything I wanted to do is going to have to be pushed to tomorrow. I guess tomorrow is going to be a busy as hell day.
Before I can register anything else, I have to run to the bathroom. Usually Wood comes rushing in when he can hear me getting sick. Today, the last person I ever thought would be here is by my side. Rage is holding my hair, rubbing my back, and letting the water run so he can give me a cool cloth. I can’t even question why he’s here right now.
Finally, I’m done, and Rage leads me back into the bedroom. I sit on the edge of the bed and look up at Rage. Damn, the man is even sexier than I remember. He’s looking down at me, concern written all over his face. Now, I know that I’m going to have to explain what’s going on. Fuck! Why can’t this day be over already? I don’t want to have to deal with this right now.
“Are you okay?” he asks me.
“Yeah. Nothing I haven’t been dealing with for a little bit now,” I tell him, trying to purposely be vague.
“What’s goin’ on Keegan? You used to tell me things.”
“I don’t want to tell you right now. I’ve barely wrapped my head around it and now you’re going to know. But, I can’t hide it from you either.”
Rage sits down next to me and waits for me to open up to him. This is hard. Especially when I don’t know how he’s going to react about having a baby. We’ve never talked about it and we never really talked about what was going to happen between us. Sure, he’s said that I was going to be in his life forever, or however he said it, but we never talked about what that meant. I guess that’s about to be discussed now too.
“So, I’m guessing that Wood told you I’ve been sick?” I ask him, not knowing how to start this conversation.
“He did. But, what I want to know is why you ran away? Especially without comin’ to me first.”
“You called out another woman’s name the one and only time we were together Rage. I don’t know hardly anything about you, yet you continue to tell me we’re going to be around one another for a long time. I don’t even know what that means. There’s too many what-ifs and I’m not going to be anyone’s second choice,” I tell him, feeling the tears building already.
“I know baby, and I’m sorry as fuck about it. Storm was a girl that was in the club as a club girl. Summer and her have helped the old ladies more than anyone else and we became close. When I brought Kasey home, she was one of the main ones that helped me out with her. I thought we were headin’ to somethin’ more than friends until she was killed. I went off the rails when she died and disappeared for a little while. Part of that was tryin’ to take out the people that took her out. The other part of that was losin’ control. I started drinkin’ and other shit just to numb myself from the pain. Kasey is the one that suffered,” he tells me. “The more time I spend with you, the more I realized that what I felt for Storm was nothin’. She had been on my mind a lot and that’s why I called out her name. It wasn’t because I want her still. I’m not chasin’ some ghost. I want you, and only you.”
I take in what he’s just told me, and I know that he’s not lying. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt any less, I just know that he’s confused. On one hand, he still wants to know what would’ve happened with Storm. On the other hand, he’s happy that she’s not here so he can explore what
ever this is that we have. I would be confused as hell too. Especially if they were as close as what everyone is saying.
“Rage, I understand where you’re coming from. It’s just going to take some time for me to wrap my head around it. Can you understand that?” I ask.
“I get it baby. Now, why did Wood take you to the doctor? What’s goin’ on with you?” he asks. “I’m assumin’ it has somethin’ to do with you bein’ sick a little while ago.”
“It does. I haven’t been feeling too good lately and decided that I needed to get checked out. Well, it turns out that I’m going to be feeling like this for a little while.”
“What do you have baby?”
“I’m pregnant Rage. The one and only time we were together got me pregnant,” I tell him, waiting to hear what he’s going to say.
For a few minutes, he says absolutely nothing. Now, my mind is racing with all the possible thoughts going through his head. He probably thinks that I’m trying to trap him with a baby or something. That’s so far from the truth though. We were both there and I had as much responsibility for not using protection as he did. It never even crossed my mind honestly because I wanted him so bad in that moment.
“Okay. Well, I guess that certainly changes things a bit then,” he murmurs. “What are you goin’ to do?”
“I’m keeping the baby. You don’t have to be a part of its life. We don’t need to be together or anything. You know that I’m pregnant and we can figure out where to go from here. I’m perfectly capable of raising the baby on my own and you can visit him or her as much as you want to. I don’t want anything from you Rage,” I tell him, trying to sound as confident as I can.
“Yeah, I’m goin’ to be a part of the baby’s life alright. On an everyday basis Keegan. We’re goin’ to do this and be together. You’re comin’ home, do what you gotta do to wrap your head around that baby.”
I sit in stunned silence. In all honesty, I didn’t think that Rage was going to be all gun ho about us being together. And, I’m sure as hell not going to be with him because of the baby. No matter how hot the sex might get. We’re going to have to take some time and figure out if this is what we truly want. Just as I go to tell him my feelings on the matter, I hear footsteps running down the hall towards us.
