Dots of salt water consume the paper until I finally muster the strength and courage to grasp the pen. I didn't know who I was writing to, but I need someone to talk to. Even if it is only a piece of paper.
“To whoever finds this-
I don't have long left. Burying my beloved wife robbed me of the last strength I had. She lies behind this ranger station. I am sure you can find the place beneath the soft soil. We tried our best to hide from death, but we were not so fortunate as to escape its wrath. My time is short. If one of the poor children left behind should find this note soon, throughout this station you will find food and water that my wife and I hoped would sustain us. Now I hope it may sustain you in your time of need. There is a safe in the back with a rifle. These woods are full of game, and if the virus has not spread to animals, you should be able to survive for a long time on the campground.”
I glance over my writing. It slowly becomes harder and harder to read. My hands are shaking; my vision blurs worse. I am thirsty. I am cold. I scribble a few more words, the combination to the safe, and lay it on the table. My legs carry me, barely, to the main room. They feel like rubber, and my entire body aches. Every breath burns my insides. I support myself from the couch then to the wall but my own weight becomes too much for me. I slide down the wall to my knees. The lights turn off; I must have hit the switch. I struggle my left arm up the wall, but I cannot find it. The little air in my lungs bursts through my mouth as I fall forward onto my chest. The bathroom is just a few feet away. I want to crawl in the shower and turn on the water so bad. I can feel my shirt again sticking to the blood slowly oozing from the sores all over me again.
I can't crawl. I can't yell. My body shuts down. I give up and close my eyes. Maybe someone will find this station. I'll be dead, but maybe, just maybe, I will have helped them.
Chapter 11: Jocelyn
Jon and I finish the note, and he sets it on the coffee table. Many of the strokes had been unintelligible, and I don’t think either one of us have the heart to try to interpret them. I look up into the ranger's eyes. His pain seems to be gone. A small smile hides in the corners of his lips. I don't know how much stuff he left us, but it may save all of our lives. I bring my hand to his hair and rub my thumb on his forehead. His hair is sticky. I whisper, “Thank you.” The smile leaves his face. His eyes close and his body finally gives out. Jon is standing next to me, and he squeezes my shoulder delicately before reaching for the blanket. He clasps the edge and pulls the cover gently over the man’s peaceful face.
* * *
After a few moments I stick my head out to check on the girls. Both of them are in the passenger seat with their eyes locked on the door. I should have told them everything was okay a while ago. My brother has already begun to search the trailer, so I catch up. We find more food, gallons of fresh water, and some tools including an ax, saw, and shovel. The two of us manage to stuff everything in the trunk of the car along with a first aid kit attached to the front of the trailer. We make our final trip through the ranger’s home. I was to get the rifle, and Jon needed to find the key to the gate.
“It’s so quiet…” I whisper to myself. The crickets don’t even seem to feel like talking right now. Carefully turning the dial on the gun safe breaks the silence. He has an assortment of guns. A rifle, shotgun, and several boxes of bullets are all inside. I stuff the boxes in my pack and sling the guns over my shoulder. These will definitely come in handy.
As I walk out of the bedroom I see Jon shaking the key. “It was in a nail on the wall,” he says. His eyes turn to the man on the couch. “I will come back tomorrow and bury his body-next to his wife.”
“We all will come back.” I reply.
“No,” he snaps back. “Sorry, I want to do it myself. I can't explain it.” I was in no mood to question him now; I would in the morning.
We shut the lights off and I join the girls in the backseat. The least bit of dust is kicked up behind Jon as he walks purposefully to the gate, key in hand. He jogs back as soon as the lock is open, and we drive through. Not too long after we pass, he slams on the brakes and puts it in park. I give him an odd look. He swings open the door and walks back to the gate. I begin to open my door to yell at him. However, I see him shutting the gate and locking it. He returns to the car and we continue to the cabin.
“After all I've seen today, I'm not letting anyone else easily get up here.” he says. I nod my head. I couldn't agree more.
Although the cabin was in the same park, it was a long way from the ranger’s station. In the darkness Jon struggles to keep the car on the road. The tiny eyes of raccoons reflect the headlights at every turn as our SUV descends further into the forest. When we find the cabin, Jon parks well off of the dirt road and as close to the cabin as possible. It’s been a long time since I’ve been here, but it still looks the same: unaffected by time.
Jon uses the ranger's keys to open the front door. Both of the girls are right behind me as I shine the flashlight through the cabin. He flips the light switch and the whole cabin is illuminated. The place does have everything we will need: four bunk beds lined against the far left wall, a wooden stove in the middle against the back wall, a closed off area to the right with bathrooms, and a shower.
“Please let there be hot water…” I say hopefully.
For now this place would suffice. We unpack everything throughout the cabin. The girls help Jon and me bring everything into the kitchen area against the back wall, and we fill what appears to be some sort of pantry. I begin to sort it all out as Jon grabs the last few things from the car. I hear the car lock, and Jon returns, locking the front door behind him. I look up at him and we both nod.
We made it.
Both girls sit on one of the benches, looking at me. Which one is which is still beyond me. “Well, girls, what do you say we get you both cleaned up?” They return with smiles. Sara, or is it Caitlyn, still has broken leaves throughout her hair.
Jon tosses two towels from our bags and a plastic bag filled with soap and shampoo. I check the bathroom and the girls head in. Some steam pours out from under the door shortly after they’ve turned on the shower. Another victory. Within fifteen minutes, the girls are already out and dressed in some of my clothes that barely fit them. They look completely different now. Their skin is almost white and their hair is nearly black-it makes their eyes seem almost neon blue. They start to do each others’ hair into long pigtails. I let them be.
Behind me, Jon continues sorting through everything. He yawns, clearly exhausted by the events of the day.
“Some of this can wait.” I reassure him.
“I know; I’m almost done. It’s been a long day.” he answers. His eyes look heavy.
“I’m going take a shower and then go to bed. I need to rinse this day off,” I say to him after I feel that both girls are situated. He nods and I grab my things for the bathroom.
I shut the wooden door. My entire body feels exhausted, and I strip to nothing and stand in front of the shower head. My bare feet shuffle through the warm puddles left over from the twins’ showers. The water is ice cold, but it does not even phase me – I guess they used all the hot water for one night. I close my eyes and let the water run down my face. I start to think of the entire day: Dad, the bodies, the knife, the girls, the supermarket, the ranger. I feel so overwhelmed that I brace myself against the wall with my pruning hand. My heart begins to beat faster and I feel the mask that I’ve worn all day finally give out. I crouch down and bring my knees to my chest. The tears running down my face feel no different than the water. This cannot be reality. All of this chaos, death, and responsibility. I cannot do this.
I pinch the undersides of my arms. Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up.
Chapter 12: Jonathon
“I hope you two love chicken noodle soup.” I yell to the girls as I set another can at that end of the table. Between the ranger and our house we have thirteen huge cans already of that alone. They only complain a littl
e. I think they understand. The stacks of cans and bottled water grow as I empty the ranger’s boxes out. The more I organize the more I start to see the bigger picture and it scares me. Before this moment, I have only concentrated on getting us here; now here we are. I don’t know how to begin sustaining us in the woods. I have sorted through most of the supplies, but I know they won’t last. I need to provide for the four of us, and I need to learn how to do it yesterday. I knew this responsibility would fall on me but it’s beginning to hit home as I place another pack of rice amongst the others.
“Damn…” I whisper, realizing how little I knew about hunting or gardening or farming or surviving. Being tired doesn’t help all the questions that have flooded my mind. I began sorting through our circumstances: What if we have to leave? Is anywhere completely safe? What’s happening out there? How can I possibly know what to do if I don’t know what’s happening? How can I protect the girls? Exactly how much danger are we facing? Why is this happening?
“Jon?” a soft and quavering voice floats across the room from the bed-side wall. I look over to see a frightened look on Sara’s face as she sits up. Somewhere in the past few minutes I had sat down on an old stool, and I guess I’ve barely moved. My hand clenches in a trembling fist around a can of sweet potatoes. As I blink, I notice how dry my eyes are: probably from letting my eyes bulge for that amount of time.
“I’m sorry Sara,” I say finally, exhaling. My expression changes to a smile, "I just can't stand sweet potatoes. Have you decided where you’re sleeping? We have a lot of choices...”
“My sister will take this bottom bunk. The top bunk’s a little scary for her right now.”
“I was never a fan of heights, myself.” I fib to Caitlyn.
Caitlyn nods quickly, kicking her feet as her legs hang from the side of one of the other beds. Her hands are folded, and she, too, looks sleepy.
“Go to sleep girls. We are safe out here.” It feels good to say that, even though I haven’t the slightest clue what the rest of the night has in store for us. I seem to have said it convincingly though. Sara is already nimbly climbing the ladder to get to the top bunk. She is definitely the more outgoing of the two. Through the entire duration of this ordeal, Caitlyn has just stayed in her shell. I can't really blame her. If I don't know what to make of it, how can I expect an eleven year old girl to?
“Good night, you two.” They are both asleep within a few moments.
The brief conversation was a pleasant distraction from the swarm of questions that had paralyzed me earlier. I sit on the nearest bunk and lie down for a second and interlock my fingers behind my head. I have so many questions running through my mind. How can I expect to sleep tonight?
Food, shelter, clothing. We have all of these things right now. What do we need that we don’t have? Medicine. If one of us does get sick, the best that we have to offer right now is water and blankets. I’ll find a way to be ready. I do need to go bury the ranger tomorrow. Maybe there are still more supplies in the trailer that I can bring back. Food, clothing, shelter, medicine. The only other thing I can think of right now is weapons, and we have a few of those. Not that any of us know how to really use them.
Jo comes out dressed to sleep. A towel is wrapped around her hair and she’s rubbing it with her hands. Her eyes are almost as red as the few strands of hair that fall across her face. Droplets of water fall to the floor as she stops in front of me. Several times, she inhales deeply and exhales quickly, clearly wanting to say something each time but not finding any words.
“We’re going to be alright. We have everything we need to take the time to figure it all out,” I say, more convincingly than I had hoped. Jo’s eyes shut, and after a brief pause, she nods.
The other bed rustles as Jo climbs in.
It feels like only a moment has passed, but deep down I know that it’s been much longer. Maybe more than an hour. I won’t let them down. Nobody should be able to make it out here for a while anyway, if ever.
“Don’t let me down again…” Those words run through my head on loop, echoing through my mind. Eventually, sleep breaks through and takes me.
Chapter 13: Sara
A creak. It can’t be the wind; there are no other creaks to go with it. There is no whistle, not even the sound of the trees. My eyes dart around the room, but it’s so dark. I remember Jocelyn went to sleep on the bottom bunk of the other bed, and Caitlyn is below me, but I don’t know where Jon is. Please be him, please be him…
Another creak. It’s coming from the front of the cabin. Why would Jon be sneaking this late? Maybe he doesn't want to wake us. My chest feels tight and I feel like screaming, but I don’t know what will happen. The more I try to listen the more I hear my heart beating: faster and faster.
Another creak, longer this time, but it’s different. The front door is opening! The outline of a man becomes clear, but he’s leaving! It’s not Jon; Jon isn’t that tall. What does he have in his hand?
I can’t hold it in. I try so hard, but I can’t do it. A little whimper escapes me and the man turns with a start, looking right at me. There’s no way he can see me. It’s too dark! Please don’t see me. Trembling, I look at the shadowy man. I won’t even breathe. Even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could. Just leave!
Almost as abruptly as he had looked at me, the man darts out the door, silently. I won’t move, not yet. He needs to be far away. My heart is still beating so loudly that I can’t hear anything else.
Just another moment, and then I’ll climb down. I need to find out what he was doing. I slowly pull my blanket back with my right hand. A flashlight is in my left hand. I pull it back so slowly so that when I’m uncovered, enough time will have passed. It’s so hard to climb off the top bunk.
My legs swing over the head rail, and I find the rungs. They’re cold and damp. It feels like the room is foggy. Three more rungs. It’s hard to climb while holding something. Two more rungs. Why are they wet? And why is it so cold? I can’t slip! I’ll make too much noise. He might still be close enough to hear. One more rung. I extend with my right arm as much as I can so I can lower my foot to the ground.
But it doesn’t reach the ground. It stops short on something, and slips. I let out a squeal as my hand falls off the bed rail. I fall onto this thing in a total panic. I can’t even think. I stand up as quickly as I can and turn on the flashlight.
All I can do now is scream, and it echoes through the whole cabin. I had landed on the body of the nurse from the hospital. I try to turn away but there are just more of the people from the hospital on the floor, lying there. I don’t remember inhaling, but I scream again, and I keep screaming. Why is nobody waking up? Where is Jon? Where is Jocelyn? Where is Caitlyn?
I hear a slam and I wheel around just in time to see the outline of the man in the open door frame.
“Wake up!” I hear him yell, but it sounds like Jon. He’s too big to be Jon!
“Wake up!” I blink and the door frame turns into the ceiling. Jon is leaning over me with a flashlight in one hand and my shoulder in the other. As I sit up, panting, I start to understand that I was dreaming, but the screams were real. Caitlyn is in the middle of the room, scared, looking at me with her hands clasped at her chest.
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay, you’re okay.” I look over to Jocelyn. She’s sitting up on the other top bunk, and she has a soft smile on her face. My breathing slows down almost immediately, but all I manage is a nod and a long gulp to try to relax. Scanning the room, I see that little else has changed from a few hours before. The windows let in a fraction of the morning light. I hope we can all go back to sleep; everyone still looks so tired.
“Do we have to get up now?” I ask.
“No, sleep as long as you need,” says Jon, “You’re safe here. Try to relax.” He lies back down in his bunk and Jocelyn returns to hers. A few minutes go by and I try to shut my eyes. I can't sleep.
The bed starts rocking back and forth, so I peek over the h
ead rail. Caitlyn is climbing up, fumbling on the ladder a little in the dark.
“What are you doing?” I whisper.
“Coming up to see you. I… I wanna see what the top bunk is like.” she said with a smile on her face. She sits down at the foot of my bed. I can see the fear in her eyes as she peers over the edge. Her smile becomes uncertain for a moment.
“You’re a bad liar; this is too high for you!”
“I am not, and it is not,” she argues. I let out a little giggle at that. She grabs my pillow and puts it in her lap. She pats it with her hand. “Now lie down.”
“What?”
“Lie down. I wanna play with your hair.” she says calmly, like how mom used to say it. There were many times we couldn't fall asleep at home and she would stroke our hair. Before we knew it we were asleep in her lap. I lie down on my side looking at the front door.
“But I’m not tired.” I whisper.
“That’s okay.” she says as she gently separates a handful of my hair between her fingers. I close my eyes for a second and imagine I am with my mom at our old house. Dad is sitting in his recliner with a paper and Caitlyn is fidgeting in his lap with one of her books. It seems like that was just a few days ago. I feel some tears gather in my eyes. Maybe if I try hard enough, this is what I will dream about.
Chapter 14: Caitlyn
I stretch like a cat across the bed as I wake up. Light comes in through the windows of the cabin. Sitting up slowly, I try to remember how I got back to the lower bunk. Sara had fallen asleep while I was playing with her hair, and I had kept going for a while anyway before climbing down. The top bunk didn't seem so bad anymore. Jon is awake, lounging on the bottom of the other bunks. Jo is still asleep on top. Yesterday was long for me so I can't imagine how they feel. I get up and tip-toe to the table, but the creaky floor is annoyingly loud.
Humanity Gone: After the Plague Page 4
