by Tracey Ward
“Every man in that base is a killer for hire,” Liam promises her.
“There are no civilians?” she asks.
“That’s what we need you to find out for us.”
Jonnie takes a step back, her face turning to the ceiling. Or maybe where she is, it’s the sky. Blue above her in a field where the wind takes her hair and floats it behind her like a peaceful, playful flag.
Or maybe I’m making things up, daydreaming like a tween reading Twilight for the first time, but you’ve got to give me a break. Princess Leia is standing in full holographic form in front of me and all of my childhood dreams are coming true. I would give up every comic I own to hear her tell me I’m her only hope.
“Tell me where to go and what you need to know,” she tells Liam. “I’ll get your information, but I want to be part of the final decision. I have a say in what you do with what I tell you. I won’t be a blind, mute puppet for you the way I was for your dad.”
“I can agree to that. Absolutely.”
“Call me again when you have your questions. I’ll be waiting.”
“Thank you, Jonnie.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Can I ask you a favor?” I toss out before she can disappear.
I feel Liam slouch despondently beside me.
Jonnie, for her part, is patient. “Another one?”
“It’s a small one.”
“I bet it is.”
I smile at her innuendo. “Will you say, ‘That boy is our last hope’? Just once. In a deep, sage voice.”
She looks at me for a long time, her everything unreadable. Finally, she says, “No.”
I slump back onto my butt on the floor, deflated.
“There is another,” she continues.
And just like that, I’m floating. I smile up at her, and I swear I’m not imagining it, she’s smiling back.
“I just figured out what you are, Max,” she tells me, her form fading quickly.
“Oh yeah? What am I?”
She’s almost nothing now. Just a memory of one of the most awesome moments of my life as she whispers, “You’re a nerd.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ALEX
Fry is back. I haven’t seen her yet, but word around the island is she showed up for a shower an hour ago. Luckily, I’ve been sleeping in the guy’s dorm with Nick, Brody, and Justin. It would be stupid of me to go to the girl’s. All the other women on the island are on an opposite sleeps cycle, awake while I’m asleep. I’d be alone in there, vulnerable, and I’m not interested in having my throat slit while I’m out. I’ll put up with Justin’s snoring and Brody’s sleep farts over that any day.
I’d also give just about anything to get away from Naomi for a night.
I remember very well what it’s like to sleep near her. It’s not good. And that’s how I feel tonight – not good. I’m off kilter, my blood pressure rising for no reason. I haven’t had a peaceful night’s sleep since Mullion. There are a lot of variables at play that could explain it, but none as precisely as Naomi.
Maybe I should just Slip myself to a resort on a tropical beach somewhere and squat in one of the empty rooms, because I can. I wonder if Nick would go with me. I wonder how mad I’d be if he was crazy enough to say no.
“You wanna go to Aruba?”
Nick pauses, looking up at me from the card table in the corner. He’s sitting with Justin showing him how to clean a gun. The room smells heavily of oil and solvent, wreaking like a garage.
“Aruba?” Nick asks with an amused smile.
“Yeah, why not? Let’s sleep there tonight. I’ll Slip us out when our shift is over and we’ll fall asleep on a beach in Aruba.”
“We’ll get robbed.”
“We’ll leave everything here.”
“We’ll get attacked by crabs.”
“Crabs?”
“I don’t like crabs.”
“Why not?”
“Have you ever seen a crab?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you already know the answer to that question.”
“We’ll carry a big stick. For crab beating. It’ll be fun.”
He sits back in his seat, looking at me in that piercing way of his. He’s getting scruffy, dark hair dusting his jaw and cheeks. He hates that. I’ve only seen him without a cleanly shaven face a handful of times, and I have to admit, I kind of like it. It makes him look older. Wiser than he already is, and he’s so together all the time, it’s kinda nice to see him messy for once. Also kinda hot.
“What’s going on, Alex?”
I shrug. “Nothing. I’m just restless, that’s all.”
“Are you sure?”
I’m having horrible dreams here.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I lie, wishing I hadn’t.
It reminds me of when I was trapped here before.
“We can’t go to Aruba. I’m sorry,” he says, and he sounds like he means it.
I want to leave. I never want to come back.
I smile, shaking my head carelessly. “It was just a crazy suggestion. I was only half-serious.”
I’m afraid of Fry.
“When Liam wakes up, we’ll hear back from Jonnie. We’ll get some answers on the base. Then we can start making plans to get ourselves out of here.” He grins. “And we’ll talk about crab beating in Aruba.”
I’m afraid of the future.
“Sounds good.”
I’m afraid I’ll never have one.
The door clicks, the lock snapping out of place. My heart trips out of place right along with it. I’m on pins and needles, worried every outside movement is an attack on us or the start to my inevitable confrontation with Fry.
I breathe an audible sigh of relief when Brody walks through the door. He has a tray full of sandwiches in his arms, his pockets bulging with soda cans.
He smiles at me, lifting the tray in my direction. “Lunch?”
I force a smile in return. “Absolutely.”
“Can I ask you a question?” Justin asks the room nervously, setting down the shell of his gun.
Nick shrugs. “Sure. What’s up?”
“Do you talk to your families at all?”
Brody hesitates, the tuna sandwich in his hand halfway to Nick. “Do you?”
Justin shakes his head, his eyes on the table. His shoulders low. “No. They couldn’t handle what I do. I started dying when I was seven and they got a divorce when I was twelve. My dad disappeared. My mom tried to take care of me alone but I was killing her with stress. She was only thirty-two the last time I saw her but her hair was almost white. She looked sixty. She rushed me to the hospital during one of my deaths and Liam showed up in the room. He sent her away to fill out some paperwork and asked me if I wanted to come live with him to see if he could help me. I told him yeah, if he helped me fake my death for good to give my mom a break. He didn’t want to, but he did it. I told him I’d just run away if he didn’t.”
Nick looks at me across the room. His eyes are brimming with sympathy for all the things he knows I’ve gone through every day of my life since I was a little girl. All of the things Justin has gone through too. Parents who couldn’t handle it. A family broken apart, fractioned by our inability.
I lick my lips, my mouth dry as the desert. “I don’t talk to mine either. They kicked me out when I was sixteen because of my Slipping.”
“They know about what you can do?”
“I couldn’t hide it. I didn’t used to have control over it. I disappeared a lot for no reason. I’d be gone for days and then I’d show up out of nowhere. They said they couldn’t take it, so when I turned sixteen they gave me a car and told me to get out.”
“Jesus,” he breathes incredulously.
I smile weakly. “Yeah. Luckily, my sister took me in. She was amazing.”
“Where is she?” he asks, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Do you talk to her still?”
My eyes sting sharply. My throat closes in on itself, cutting off my ai
r supply. “Uh, no. I don’t. She died. Car accident.”
Justin freezes. His face twists uncomfortably, his brain obviously working overtime looking for the right thing to say. I should save him the agony and tell him there isn’t one. There’s nothing right about it and there’s nothing he can say or do to make it any less awful than it is. Especially not ‘I’m sorry’.
Nick clears his throat. “My dad died when I was a kid. He was a PJ in the Air Force too. My mom is alive but I haven’t talked to her in almost a year. She probably thinks I’m dead.”
“Do you ever think about contacting her somehow to tell her you’re alive?” I ask, seizing an opportunity I never thought I’d get.
I’ve had that very thought banging around in my mind since the moment he Slipped to this island with me the first time. The day he gave up everything he dreamed of, everything he worked his butt off for, to save me. I have so much choking guilt about that, even now. I try every day to be worth the sacrifices he made, but I never feel like enough. In his eyes, I know I am. He has no regrets. He’d do it again if he had to, but I can’t get on board with him. I can’t look at him and everything he could have been, all the lives he could have saved, without feeling at least a little like I ruined him. Especially when we’re sitting around talking about bombing a building holding hundreds of lives and he doesn’t blink. Part of that is being a PJ, but part of it is the impossible situations I keep putting him in.
“I’ve thought about it,” Nick admits, “but it’d only make it worse for her. If she thinks I’m already dead, it’s better to leave it that way. My dad’s death was hard for her and she never wanted me to be a PJ because she was always worried the same thing would happen to me. Her worst fears have already been realized. Coming back from the dead just to disappear and leave her wondering would be cruel.” He pauses, looking up from his lunch at me. “What about you? Do you think about talking to your parents at all?”
I snort, shaking my head decisively. “Hell no. The last time I saw my mom she was telling me how great Dr. Evans was and that I should follow him to this place. And we all know how well that worked out for me.”
“What about your dad?” Justin asks.
“He’s not any better. I haven’t seen him since they kicked me out. He handed me the keys to the car and helped me load my stuff in the back. The last memory I have of him is his back as he walked into the house. He didn’t even wait for me to pull out of the driveway before he was done with me.” I take a rough bite of my sandwich, muttering, “Screw him.”
The room is quiet for a minute after my rant. I think Justin is starting to regret opening this line of questioning, but he pushes forward anyway, looking up at Brody with hesitant eyes. Hoping for something happy.
“Drug addicts,” Brody answers briskly, not waiting for the question. “They’re probably dead. It’s better that way.”
Happy is not what Justin gets.
Justin’s face is a mask of regret. He slowly turns back to his food, taking an unenthusiastic bite. I doubt he even tastes it. All he can taste is bitterness, sorrow, and loss because that’s all any of us had to offer him. In our defense, he isn’t new to this. He’s lived with Liam for a while. He probably knows his story, and Naomi’s. He should have known better, that there are no happy endings for any of us, and if he didn’t know before, he definitely does now.
“You wanna ask about Campbell?” I tease gently.
He shakes his head hard. “No. I’m good.”
“His parents are alive and happily married in California,” Nick tells him anyway. “They know he’s alive too. They love him. A lot.”
“Where do they think he is? Still in the military?”
“Nope. He was kicked out for being crazy. He rambled on about superheroes and people throwing fireballs made from thin air. Stones that turned into birds.”
“Teleporting from Japan to Oregon in the blink of an eye,” I add with a grin.
“They kicked him right out. His parents think he’s backpacking across Europe to find his sanity again. Once every week or so for the last few months, Alex has Slipped him all across Europe to take pictures. He sends them to his parents as proof of life. Venice, Rome, Prague, London, Paris. They think he’s having a blast.”
I smile. “He actually is.”
“He does love this crap. More than any sane person should.”
I chuckle, opening my mouth to remind Nick that according to the government and me, Campbell is not sane, but I stop cold. My body tingles lightly, the feeling building. Amping up until it feels like I’ve stuck my finger in a light socket. Energy courses through me and I start to vibrate in my stomach the way I do before a Slip. I have the horrifying thought that it’s happening, that I’m not in control. My eyes go wide. My hands clenched tightly into fists as I try to fight the feeling.
“Alex?” Nick stands, his knees jostling the table roughly. “What’s happening?”
“I don’t know,” I gasp.
“Are you Slipping?”
“I’m trying really hard not to.”
He rushes to me, knocking over a chair in his way. He immediately takes my hand, bringing his face in close to mine, his eyes perfectly calm. “Stay with me. Slow yourself down.”
“It’s not me.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s not me!” I shout, panicking as the feeling continues to rise. “I’m not doing it. I’m not trying. It’s not me.”
“Something’s wrong!” Nick shouts to Brody. “Go get Liam!”
Behind Nick, I see Brody shoot out the door. It bangs shut loudly, making me jump. Nearly making me Slip.
“Crap,” I whimper pathetically.
“Hold on, Alex,” Nick whispers, pressing his forehead against mine. “Just hold on. If you go, I’ll go with you. You won’t be alone.”
“What can I do to help?” Justin asks desperately.
Nick closes his eyes. “Grab that gun. Load it. Watch our backs. I don’t know what’s happening, but someone might be doing this to her. Someone close by.”
“It’s me. I’m sorry.”
Nick jerks his head around. My mouth drops open in shock when I see what’s standing behind him.
It’s a girl, I think, but it looks like a ghost. She’s barely anything, more mist than matter, but I can make out her long hair. The basics of her oval face. Her eyes. She’s looking at me; that’s for sure. I feel that more than I see it. It’s intense, but it doesn’t feel bad exactly. Just very, very thorough. As she looks at me, she fades a little. The Slipping feeling inside me does too and I think she did that on purpose. She turned down some part of her energy to help stabilize me.
“Are you Jonnie?” Nick asks tensely, his body shielding mine.
“I am. And you’re Nick.”
“You know me?”
“I kind of know everyone.”
The door to the room bursts open. Wind shoots in, straight at Jonnie, but nothing about her shifts. I expect her to blow away like a cloud of smoke, but she stays exactly the same, unaffected by our part of the world.
It’s the weirdest freaking thing.
Nick looks down at me, worry in his eyes. “Are you okay?”
I nod tightly. “I’m stable. She turned it down a little. I’m not going anywhere.”
He looks at me for a second longer before standing. He keeps hold of my hand, just in case.
Liam and Brody step cautiously into the room. They were running to get here, but they slow when they see Jonnie. Brody looks suspicious. Liam, in his lounge pants and total lack of shirt, smiles when he sees her. I’m surprised when Beck and Campbell come running in after them. Beck is fully dressed in sweats and a T-shirt. Campbell, however, is not. He’s wearing only boxers. Bare feet. Totally shirtless. Surprisingly ripped.
He looks kind of hot, and the fact that that thought even occurs to me is sort of my nightmare.
Liam turns to Nick and I, his face full of questions.
“I’m fine,” I p
romise him immediately. “It was Jonnie. She threw me off.”
“She made you feel like you were going to Slip?”
“Yeah.”
“I should have warned you about that. Her astral projection feels very similar to our Slipping. When she shows up, it can feel like you’re losing control.”
“Does it look the same?” Nick asks. “With the heat waves and the light?”
“Exactly the same, yes.”
He turns his eyes to Jonnie. “It wasn’t Liam Slipping into Alex’s apartment after we ran from the island. It was you, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah,” she admits quietly, her voice sounding small. Like an echo. “I was on the island too. I got away when your dragon tore the place apart. I made it to a boat. I saw your bird. I was worried about you both so I started projecting to look for you.”
“How did you find us?”
“Your energy level is very easy to find. It’s massive. Looking for you was like looking for a lightbulb burning in a dark room. That’s how I found you just now.”
“You were looking for me? Not Liam?”
“Sort of. I was actually looking for all of you. It looks like I interrupted some of you.”
She’s talking about Liam and Campbell and their near nudity. Their tousled blond hair and flushed faces. It definitely looks like they’ve been ‘busy’.
Liam frowns at the insinuation.
Campbell smiles. “What are you talking about? I wore this just for you. You’re welcome.”
“Thanks, but I have cable. I’m all set.”
“Cable can’t give you all this.” He gestures slowly to his chest and rippled stomach.
I feel sick.
“It can’t give you crabs either, so two points for cable,” Nick jokes dryly.
Jonnie smiles, I think. I don’t know. She’s brighter for a second, that’s for sure. I feel suddenly less stable too. A happy Jonnie is a loose cannon Alex. People need to stop being so charming. And creepy. Campbell is being just plain creepy.
“Why were you looking for us?” I ask around Nick.
“I have the intelligence you wanted. I thought you’d want to hear what I found as soon as possible.”
