by J. S. Cooper
"Are those shorts appropriate?" I frowned as I stared at her long legs.
"As appropriate as it was for you to go to the strip-club yesterday." She snapped at me, her eyes light as she stared down at me with disappointed eyes.
"I told him not to go." Tomas yelled out from the living room as I stared at Clementine in shock. "It's not appropriate for you to go and get lap dances when you have a girlfriend at home." He continued shouting.
"Tomas." I shouted back angrily. “How did you know?” I asked her quietly, feeling mad at myself.
"First off, you got a lap dance?" Clementine glared at me and my heart sunk.
"Honey." I gave her a quick smile and she just stared at me with her hand on her hip. Oh shit! I thought to myself. I wasn't sure how I was going to get out of this one. “I didn’t, I mean I—”
“Oh Rhett.” She started laughing loudly. “When will you learn you can’t lie to me? Bowling alley my foot.”
“I’m sorry.” I made a face. “How did you know?”
“Tomas had photos of the two of you all over Facebook last night.” She laughed. “I knew the minute you hit the club because he took a photo of the sign. One Night in Heaven? Really?”
“Tomas.” I shouted back at him. “I’m going to kill you.” This time he didn’t respond.
“And after you kill him, I’m going to kill you, Rhett Madison.”
“For going to the strip-club?”
“No, for lying to me.” She sighed. “I mean, I kind of of get why, but I don’t like it.”
“I didn’t have fun.”
“He’s lying again.” Tomas shouted out from the living room. “He had a great time.”
“Tomas, shut up.” I growled.
“It’s fine, Rhett. I know who you are.” She sat back down on the bed again. “I just don’t want you to lie to me anymore.”
“Fine, I went to a strip-club and I had a lap dance.”
“One?” She asked softly.
“Two.” I sighed.
“He’s lying. He had four.” Tomas shouted again and I knew that he was two seconds away from feeling my fist in his face.
“I didn’t really enjoy them though.”
“Now that’s true.” Tomas said. “He didn’t even grab any of their boobs. He didn’t even want to play real or fake.”
“Well, that’s good.” Clementine rolled her eyes. “You got four lap dances?” She asked me softly and I could see the hurt in her eyes.
“It didn’t mean anything to me.” I grabbed her hand. “I only went for Tomas.”
“We’ll talk about it later.” She sighed. “I need to get breakfast and then I have a call with Holden in two hours.”
“Another one?” I let go of her hand and turned away from her and closed my eyes. When was this guy just going to go away?
“We’re finishing up a project Rhett.”
“Yeah, okay. Go and get the coffee, I’ll see you later.” I mumbled, not knowing why I suddenly felt so bereft inside. There was a coldness seeping in and I wasn’t sure why.
“I know you’re not mad at me, Rhett Madison.” Her voice was annoyed. “Mr. I got four lap dances while I told you I was bowling last night.”
“And how was studying?” I finally opened my eyes up and looked at her. “Was that all you did?” I asked accusingly, knowing I was acting like a jealous boyfriend. I had absolutely no reason to think that anything else was happening. I knew I was being irrational and then I saw the red hue rising in her face and my stomach dropped. Maybe I wasn’t being so irrational after all.
Chapter Four
Clementine
So I open the window,
hoping the breeze blows.
Birds going crazy.
I’m wondering how they know.
“The Fire In My Head” by David Berkeley- The Fire in My Head
It’s funny. You always think that once you get the guy, everything in your life is going to be great. And if he loves you, well what more can you ask for? That’s the dream right? Meet the right guy; fall in love and everything else is smooth sailing. That’s not always how it works out. No one told me that going from friends to lovers was going to be so hard or so different. Not one person. Well, asides from Penelope. And I didn’t want to hear a word she had to say. I mean, how could I trust her advice? She’d tried to sleep with him. Just thinking about them touching made me cringe.
“I’ll have three black coffee’s please and three cheese croissants.” I smiled at the barista though I really wanted to get Rhett some veggie juice or something. I’d played it off and smiled at his lies, but I was hurt and upset. I didn’t understand why he’d lied to me. I mean, I understood that maybe he didn’t want me to know about the strip-club, but to keep up the lie was hurtful. It was even more hurtful to know that he’d gotten a lap dance - several in fact. A part of my brain wanted to know exactly what had gone on during the lap dance. Had he gotten hard? Was he attracted to any of the women? Did he wish he could spend the night with any of them?
“Any sugar?” The barista asked me and I could tell this wasn’t the first time.
“Sorry, no.” I apologized. “I was thinking about something.”
“That’s fine.” She looked bored. “You can go and wait over there.”
“Oh okay, sure.” I nodded and walked to the end of the counter.
“Clementine?” I heard Holden’s voice behind me and turned around.
“Hey,” I smiled at him weakly, not wanting to think of the night before.
“I thought that was you. How are you?”
“Fine.” I nodded, a bit freaked out. What was he doing here?
“Last night was good. I think we’re going to ace the assignment.” He smiled at me again, his dimples making his face look more boyishly handsome.
“I hope so.” I nodded.
“About last last...” He started and paused. “I just wanted to say sorry.”
“It’s fine.” I nodded awkwardly; as I thought about the light kiss he’d given me on the lips as I’d been sitting on the couch waiting for the pizza to arrive.
“I thought that...” His voice trailed off and we both stood there awkwardly.
“It’s okay. No harm, no foul.”
“I really like you Clementine.” He looked into my eyes searchingly. “I know that maybe I shouldn’t be saying this.”
“You don’t even know me.” I shook my head, my voice and eyes pleading with him to stop.
“What I know I like.”
“I have a boyfriend.”
“He’s a meathead.” He made a face. “No offense, of course, but I don’t know, I don’t think he’s right for you.”
“You don’t even know him.” I sighed. “Please, don’t say anything else. Rhett is my best friend, he’s my—”
“You do realize that you just said he’s your best friend? You didn’t say that he’s your boyfriend. You didn’t say he was the love of your life.”
“Holden.” I was getting annoyed. “It doesn’t matter what I say, please stop.”
“Even though he lied to you?” He sounded confused. “In my book, it’s not a very trustworthy boyfriend that tells his girlfriend that he’s bowling when he’s busy getting a hand job at a strip-club.”
“That’s not fair.” I sighed, wishing I hadn’t told him about Rhett’s lie. “And he didn’t get a hand job.”
“Okay then, a blowjob.” His face reddened. “I’m sorry to use such crude language with you, but what do you think goes down at strip-clubs?”
“I’m not going to talk about this with you.” My face grew warm with humiliation as I thought about Rhett getting a hand job in the strip club. He wouldn’t do that, would he? I bit on my lower lip as I tried to remember the stories he’d told me from before we started dating. What had he done before? I knew that he and Tomas used to like to touch the girls’ breasts and bet if they were real or not and I knew that he’d once had an accident in his pants when he’d worn only sweatpants a
nd nothing else. I felt sick even thinking about that story, but I knew I couldn’t bring it up. It was a story he’d told me when he was 18 and it had only been his second trip. I couldn’t allow myself to get jealous over something that had happened in his past.
“So do you want to talk about the assignment now, seeing as we’re both still here?” He asked eagerly and I knew that Holden was not going to get the hint.
“I have to take the coffee’s and croissants back for Rhett and his friend Tomas.” I shook my head. “They are waiting on me. And I don’t have my books. We’ll talk on the phone later.”
“I can come back with you if you want.” He asked eagerly. “Maybe we can—”
“Holden, no.” I shook my head. “I’ll call you later.” I sighed.
“Am I coming on too strong?” He made a face.
“It’s not that, but you know I have a boyfriend.”
“I can wait.”
“Wait for what?” I asked stupidly, and immediately regretted it.
“For when you break up.” He smiled weakly and my eyes bore into his with what I hoped to be a look of disdain. “Sorry.” He followed up quickly. “That was wrong of me.”
“Yeah it was.” I sighed. Maybe Rhett had been right. Maybe Holden was after more than friendship. And then I started laughing at myself. I could see from Holden’s face that he was confused, but I didn’t care. There was no maybe about it. Holden was definitely interested in me. And if I was honest, it made me feel kind of good. Though it also made me feel guilty. Was I emotionally cheating on Rhett if I liked the fact that a very handsome and smart guy was interested in me?
“Are you okay, Clementine?” Holden’s eyes searched mine. “I’m sorry for being inappropriate. I should have just apologized and left it at that.”
“Yes, you should have.” I touched his shoulder. “Look Holden, I’m not interested like that, but if you want to stay friends that’s fine. Please don’t try and kiss me again.”
“I can’t promise I’m not going to hope for more.” He grinned. “That’s okay, right?”
“Holden!”
“What?” He laughed. “Stranger things have happened. Do you know how many people meet when someone is dating someone else? A lot, that’s how many. I know you don’t want to think about that now, but it’s just life. This could be how our story starts.”
“Holden!” I exclaimed again. “Please don’t.”
“It’s true.” He grinned. “There are movies based on love stories like this. We’ll look back and laugh at this.”
“You’re making me uncomfortable.” I told him honestly and turned to see if my coffees were ready.
“You’re not in South Carolina anymore, Clementine. There’s a whole big world out there. A world that exists outside of your friendship with Rhett. From what I’ve seen—”
“Stop.” I held my hand up. “You don’t know me and you don’t know Rhett. Just stop.”
“Just because it’s comfortable doesn’t mean it’s right.” He said softly. “You can’t stay in a cocoon, just because he’s the only one you’ve ever known.”
“You don’t know my life, Holden.” I said angrily as I grabbed my coffees.
“I know more than you think.” He grabbed his coffee and walked outside the store with me. “I dated my high school girlfriend for years. And then we both went to college and we realized that what we had was nothing compared to what we could have.”
‘That’s sad. Everything isn’t bigger and better.”
“You’re better.” We stopped outside my building. “I know that and we’ve never even been on a date.”
“How could you possibly know that?” I pulled out my keys.
“I knew it the moment we had our first conversation.” He smiled at me gently. “I knew it when I looked into your eyes. As soon as I saw you, I knew you were the one.”
“Holden, that’s awfully romantic, but I already told you that—”
“It’s okay.” He smiled at me. “I’m a patient guy. When something’s meant to be, it’ll be. Love isn’t meant to be hard. Love isn’t based on lies. Love isn’t comfortable. Love just is.”
“I’ll call you later, Holden.” I opened the door quickly and ran inside and then shut it firmly. Was Holden a psychopath? I could feel my heart beating at his words. Why was he saying those things to me? He didn’t even know me. Holden had made me very uncomfortable, but he had made me think as well. Was I letting Rhett get away with too much? Had I made it too easy on him? He’d done whatever he wanted whenever he wanted and I’d just been there sitting on the sidelines. And as soon as I’d started dating and he’d realized he was falling for me, I’d become his. I hadn’t made it hard on him. Even now, he was doing what he wanted without thinking about me. Did he really love me? Or was I just a possession to him that he didn’t want anyone else to have. I walked up the stairs slowly thinking hard. Was this for real? Was he really the one? Had I made things too easy for him? Was he going to tire of me? And if he did, would I lose him forever? Would I even want to be friends with him if he broke my heart? I stopped outside our door and leaned against the wall as I struggled to gain my composure. Everything had moved so quickly and everything wasn’t going as smoothly as I’d hoped for. I didn’t feel like I was living in the dream I’d always imagined my love story to be. I didn’t feel any real romance from Rhett. I didn’t feel like he really truly adored me. All he ever seemed to want was sex. He never surprised me with flowers or a homemade meal. He never wrote me poems or letters. He never called to tell me he loved me just because. He never did any of the things I’d always dreamed about having in a relationship and I didn’t know how to tell him. I mean how could I expect anything different? He’d never been the guy that was full of romance. He’d never been the guy to sweep a girl off of her feet and I wasn’t sure why I’d hoped things would be different between us.
I opened the door slowly and walked into the apartment. Rhett and Tomas were sitting at the dining table glaring at each other and I hoped that we weren’t about to revisit the strip-club story.
“Where’ve you been?” Rhett jumped up and walked over to me, a look of contrition on his face.
“I went to the coffee shop. And Holden was there and we talked for a bit.”
“Of course, he was there.” He sounded annoyed.
“I didn’t know he was going to be there.”
“Yeah, sure.” He took his coffee and walked to the large navy couch. I walked over to the table and gave Tomas a coffee and a croissant and sat down across from him.
“So how’ve you been?” I took a sip of coffee and ignored Rhett’s glare.
“I hope I didn’t start anything?” Tomas looked uncomfortable as he bit into his croissant. “You know I didn’t mean any trouble. I just wanted me and my boy to have some fun, like we did in the old days.”
“The old days were a couple of months ago.” I said in a monotone. “And I didn’t stop you, did I?”
“Rhett didn’t want to go.” Tomas spat out. “I made him. It’s my bad.”
“He didn’t have to go if he didn’t want to. I assume you didn’t have a gun to his head?”
“Well no.”
“And I assume you didn’t force those four women to give him lap dances?” I raised an eyebrow at him and he made a face and looked at Rhett. “It’s fine Tomas. I know you’re just trying to be a good friend. Rhett and I will discuss it later.”
“Well, you guys can discuss it now.” Tomas jumped up quickly. “One of the girls from last night just text me and she wants to show me some new moves.”
“One of the strippers?” I asked in disbelief. He wasn’t seriously going to go and hook up with a stripper, was he?
“Hell yeah.” He jumped up. “I need a shower, and then I’m out. I’ll catch you both for dinner later?”
“Sure.” My jaw dropped as he ran into the shower and then I looked at Rhett. “Is he being serious?”
“He sure is.” Rhett nodded, a sma
ll smile on his face.
“Did you ever hook up with a stripper?”
“Never.” He said solemnly. “I’ve never done anything with a stripper, well asides from that time I was wearing the sweatpants and you know.”
“Yes, I know.” I cringed. “No need to remind me.”
“That’s a mistake I’ll never make again.” He grinned.
“What’s that?” I asked softly.
“I’ll never get a lap dance in sweat pants and no underwear. I swear it felt like she was rubbing on my cock directly.” His face froze as he realized what he’d just said. “Shit, I guess I fucked up again huh?”
“No.” I stood up and walked over to the couch and joined him. “You didn’t fuck up because you told me a story I already knew, Rhett.”
“But I can tell from your face you’re not exactly impressed.” He rubbed my shoulder.
“I don’t want to think about you exploding in your pants and coming because some dirty stripper was rubbing up on you, Rhett.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “Would you want to hear about me dirty dancing with some guy and having an orgasm and no panties on?”
“What the fuck?” His eyes narrowed and his breathing grew heavier. “That did not happen, did it?”
“Would you want to hear about it if it did?” I sat back in the couch, quite enjoying the look of jealousy in his eyes.
“Hell no.” He frowned. “Did this happen? And when and with who?”
“Rhett.” I snuggled into his chest. “You know everything about me. Have I ever told you a story like that before? Am I the sort of girl that goes out with no panties on?”
“I’d like you to be.” He kissed the top of my head and I could tell that his breathing had calmed. “But yeah, no, you’ve never done anything crazy like that before.”
“But if I had you wouldn’t want to hear it right?”
“No, I wouldn’t want to hear it.”
“It’s the same with me. I don’t want to think about you with other girls, Rhett.”
“I’m sorry.” He grabbed my hands. “I’m just so used to telling you everything.”
