by Rita Hestand
"She is…." Ma smiled.
"Haney…I'm not sure how he'll take it, but I'm hopin' that Sarah can talk to him."
"She will. They are very close."
"He's just now becomin' a little man." Etta tried to smile.
Etta started crying then, "I don't want to leave them, Ma. I didn't think dyin' would be this hard. I know I'll go to heaven alright, but leavin' them behind…that's hard."
Ma cuddled with her for a long time.
When she came out, Sarah was talking with Haney.
"Sarah, I've got to get back, I told her you'd stay."
"Of course I will." Sarah nodded.
"Send someone for me, if you need to." Ma walked toward the door, but Sarah could tell by the slump of her shoulders that Etta was not doing well.
Simon got up from the table and went back to his wife's side.
Haney looked at Sarah, "Pa ain't left her side. Is….Ma dyin' Sarah?"
Sarah's head jerked around to stare into Haney's eyes. She knew she couldn't lie to him. He was too smart; he'd know she was lying. Her heart went out to him. She took his hands in hers and looked down at them, afraid of the tears she might see in his eyes. "Haney…only God can answer that. But we can pray for her. Would you like that?"
He nodded woodenly.
Simon came out of the room and saw them praying and his voice broke. "She wants to see the preacher."
Sarah stood up. Haney looked at his Pa.
"Want me to go Pa?" Haney asked, the tears he held back must have hurt because his eyes were brimming, but he didn't let them fall.
"You run over to Ma's and ask her to get the Reverend, she'd know more about where to find him."
"Okay, Pa…"
But before he left, he ran to his father, grabbed him around the middle and hung on, "Don't let her die while I'm gone, please, Pa."
Simon wiped his own tears away and pulled his son to arms distance. "Just go get him, son."
"Yes Pa…" Haney ran from the house, so no one would see his tears.
"He's a good kid…" Sarah whispered.
"Yeah…he is." Simon said. "Guess he's going to have to grow up real sudden like…"
Sarah hung her head. "Let me go in to her for a while. You get a little rest, if you can."
He nodded, "Call me…if…"
"Of course…" She tried to smile at him.
An hour later, Luke and Ma walked in. Sarah looked around them, "Where's Haney?"
"I don't know. I thought he'd be here by now…" Ma said.
Sarah stood up. "I'll go look for him."
Luke moved to the room where Etta lay. "Pastor Luke, will you pray for me…" Etta asked in a small voice.
"Of course," He went to her side, took her hand in his and began to pray for her.
Sarah in the meantime went outside. She looked all over the yard and couldn't find him. She had the other kids look for him. No one could find him.
She went back inside and in a whisper, she told Ma she hadn't found him yet.
"Where on earth could he be?" Ma shook her head with worry.
Sarah thought about that a minute. Then she moved toward the door. "I think I know. I'll be back as fast as I can."
Ma nodded.
~*~
Sarah found Haney at the pond where they fished. He was squatting on the ground, crying his eyes out. When he saw her coming, he turned away and wiped his eyes.
"Haney…Ma got the preacher for your Ma." Sarah explained.
"Ain't nothin' going to save her, is there Sarah?" Haney cried out, his voice twisted with hurt and confusion.
"No Haney…but Luke will help her now…"
"Help her….he can't help her. She's dyin'." Haney cried.
Brady had heard about Haney's Ma and came to the pond too. He saw Haney crying and his face turned red.
Sarah bent down on her knees, "Haney, when we die, it's God we look to, not people. She's going to a better place. A place where she'll never hurt again, where there is no sorrow. And one day…you'll see her again. I promise."
Haney finally turned around, not caring about the tears washing his face. "But I don't want her to go!" He shouted.
Brady came closer now, and he bent down with Sarah and Haney. "It's gonna be alright, Haney. You still got your Pa and your brothers and sisters. And lots of friends, like me and Sarah."
"That's right. You have a lot of friends Haney."
"Nothin' will ever be the same again…" Haney cried and this time he let Sarah hold him in her arms. Sarah sat on the ground and rocked him and looked up at Brady. Brady seemed just as upset as she and she reached for his hand. "I don't mean to cry. I just can't seem to help it."
"It's alright, there is a time to cry, Haney, and this is one of those times."
Suddenly, his father was there, standing in the shadows at first, then he came toward them. Haney saw him. Simon reached down and took Haney in his arms and comforted him. "Come on son, she' wants to see us all…"
Sarah and Brady followed behind. Sarah held Brady's hand now. Death was never easy, but for children it could be twice as hard, because they didn't totally understand it.
Simon carried Haney all the way home and he took all his children in to see Etta.
Luke prayed as they all gathered around her.
"All my beautiful children. Don't weep for me. I’m going to a better place. Remember how much I love you."
Etta smiled at them all, and one by one they came to kiss her goodbye.
Etta died that night, and like a little man, Haney sat right beside his father all night long in that room with his mother.
Luke came into the kitchen and told Sarah and Ma that she was gone. Ma took it hard, but tried her best to control herself for the children's sake. Sarah was more concerned about Haney. Brady stayed there too, waiting to see Haney once more.
Brady came to take Sarah's hand. "We'll take care of him, won't we Sarah?"
"Yes honey, we will…" Sarah sighed heavily fighting back her own emotions.
Luke informed Ma about all the arrangements and Ma talked to Simon later that evening.
Friends and neighbors came by, all with food and prayers for the children and Simon.
Sarah walked outside and Luke joined her. "Are you alright?" He asked her.
"Just concerned for Haney and Simon. Simon's lost a lot of weight. Haney is taking it pretty hard."
"You knew he'd be at the pond, didn't you?" Luke said in wonder.
"Yeah, I had a feeling…"
"Are you staying the night?" Luke asked.
"Yes, I figure I can help bed the children down, and see they get a decent breakfast. Ma's got to tend to her boarders."
"You are quite a special person Sarah. Haney's got a real friend in you." Luke said and touched her shoulder.
"We've been close ever since I came here. It was Brady and Haney that first welcomed me here."
Brady came out about then and added, "I'm staying too."
Luke turned to look at him, "Yes, and you too, Brady."
"The funeral will be in two days. I've got to talk to the undertaker now, so I'll be on my way. Thanks for what you two are doing, and Ma." Luke shot Sarah a look of admiration.
Sarah nodded.
Brady came to stand in front of Sarah, "You think Haney will be alright?"
"In time, Brady. We'll just have to be patient with him and include him in as many things as we can." Sarah smiled sadly at Brady. "He may have outbursts of anger, sometimes that happens when you lose someone you love. It's hard to remember that God is still with you."
"You know a lot about God, don't you?"
Sarah shrugged, but then went on to explain, "He's been with me through a lot of things, Brady."
"Did you lose someone close?" Brady asked.
"No…but I almost lost myself…" Sarah reflected.
"Ma said I could stay, I think friends should be with friends during times like these. So they don't think about it too much." Brady told her.
>
"I think he'd like that." Sarah said.
When Brady went back in side Sarah walked about the place for a minute, feeling the evening breeze on her face and calming her. She realized that she'd become an intricate part of this community in a small amount of time, and nothing could drag her away from Vada now. And finding a husband wasn't as important to her as it once had been. She realized simply this was where she belonged.
Chapter Fifteen
The next Saturday Orville had joined Brady and Haney on the fishing trip once again. Sarah almost refused to go, but for Haney's sake she decided she better. Since the death of his mother, Sarah felt protective of Haney. Even though he tried to act like a young man, the little boy in him reeked.
Orville and Brady took the lead, and Sarah and Haney followed them.
Haney wasn't his usual talkative self, but Sarah understood. She didn't press him for conversation, she only wanted to let him know she was there for him.
Orville hadn't attended the funeral nor visited Haney's folks, Sarah made a mental note of it. Not that he had to, but that he hadn't made the effort stunned Sarah. Even though he was new, he was part of Brady's family and he fished with Haney, so why hadn't he gone over to see if he could be of help?
Sarah stared at him when he wasn't looking. He was nice enough looking, but he had an arrogance that Sarah had run into a few times herself. She wondered if he was bendable? The fact that he didn't seem to be, made him less appealing to Sarah. Not that she was considering him as a admirer. Just the opposite.
"So what have you been up to Orville?" Sarah asked as she baited her hook. She wanted to be cordial, after all, Orville was Brady's cousin, and a guest in his house.
"I've been interviewing for a job at the bank this week, it looks very much like I'll get it too." Orville beamed. His smugness spoke volumes.
"So…you're staying here?" Sarah masked her frown.
"If I get the job, yes." Orville replied. "And I can't imagine not getting it. I have impeccable references. It would sure please Mother. Although, I had hoped to move on to a bigger town."
"Does she want to stay?" Sarah asked.
"Oh yes, Brady's mother is my mother's sister, so they are very close and it would please her to stay. But Vada certainly isn't what I had in mind for a future."
"Oh, what did you have in mind?" Sarah asked, pretending to be interested.
"Denver, San Francisco, something of that nature. A small town, in a small bank, seems a pity to waste my education on it."
"What does impeccable mean?" Haney twisted his head to look at him.
"It means you aren't likely to make a mistake." Sarah explained.
"Everybody makes mistakes!" Haney stood up and looked at Orville with a mounting frown. It was clear that Haney didn't care for Orville either. Sarah wondered if it was Orville's not so friendly personality or the fact that Haney had just been through the most trying time of his life and didn't want to get along. Sarah waited to see more before she decided.
Orville cast him a strange obstinate glance. "I graduated at the top of my class, Haney. It'd be a shame to waste it here."
"So?" Haney still wasn't impressed.
"So, I know what I'm talking about, and you don't." Orville chuckled.
Haney pooched out his lip, and put his hands on his hips, 'I know that anybody that thinks they don't make mistakes is stupid, that's all!"
"Haney?" Brady looked shocked.
Haney turned on Orville, "Your cousin might have brains Brady, but he's got no common sense, because everybody makes mistakes."
"Who says?" Orville glared at him.
"My Pa and he's got more common sense than all of us put together." Haney challenged.
"Your Pa is a pig farmer, I'm a college graduate." Orville touted.
Sarah looked at Orville then Haney. "You know," she cleared her throat, and Orville's head jerked up. "A piece of paper doesn't give you common sense Orville, living does." Sarah sighed heavily. "And Haney's Pa is the best pig farmer this side of the Red River. To be the best at something is impressive no matter what you are best at."
Orville looked wounded, "So what does that prove?"
"It proves that there are two kind of smarts…one on paper, one in the heart." Sarah smiled.
Orville shot her an instant frown and went to fish on the other side of the pond. Brady started to follow but turned to look at Sarah and Haney. "I guess I better go. He's always getting himself in a huff about how smart he is. Don't worry, Haney, your Pa is the best pig farmer in these parts."
"Thanks…I'm sorry." Haney hung his head. "I guess I just forgot."
"Forgot what?" Brady asked.
"That he was your cousin. I wasn't tryin' to be rude…"
"You didn't do nothin'," Brady said and marched off.
Sarah stared down at Haney. "Under the circumstances I can understand why you were a little brutal with him."
Haney looked up and Sarah saw his tears. "Oh Haney…"
She took him in her arms and he sobbed on her shoulder for several minutes. When he raised his head he wiped his eyes and looked at her. "I don't know what came over me. I'm usually not mean."
"Don't worry about it, Haney. You weren't wrong."
"I wasn't?" Haney asked, his eyes going big.
"No…Orville was." Sarah smiled.
Haney broke into a slight smile. "Thanks Sarah."
"Let's catch some fish, huh?"
~*~
When Sarah came home with no fish Ma asked her about it.
"I gave mine to Haney, figured they might could use them more." Sarah told her.
"So how was it. Was Haney alright?"
Sarah thought about it a minute. "Haney was. But I do see some anger in him. He's quieter now, like life hit him in the heart. But that's understandable. It's Orville I don't understand."
"What do you mean, what happened?
Sarah hesitated to say. "He thinks he's better than anyone else. He doesn't seem to feel things much. I mean, he didn't go to the funeral, he didn't even say anything to Haney about it. I don't like him much." Sarah said as she kneaded the bread.
"You don't know him that well, yet." Ma corrected.
Sarah turned her head and looked at Ma, "I'm getting to know him. I'm trying to like him for Brady's sake, but it's hard. He's so arrogant."
"He's new here, probably nervous about how to get along here. You must give him a chance. I've always found that arrogance comes with insecurities."
Sarah shrugged. "He knows very little about fishing and yet he tags along every time."
"Perhaps he just wants to be kind to Brady." Ma suggested.
"The worms disgust him. You should see the face he makes when he baits his hook." Sarah laughed.
"Well now, maybe he's putting up with something he doesn't like to please his cousin. That sounds nice to me."
"Ma…you just don't know him."
"Invite him to dinner some time and I'll let you know if I like him." Ma suggested.
Ma was up to playing cupid again and Sarah wished she wouldn't. Orville was not Sarah's type and she knew it.
Given that Luke had no interest, it was time to spread her wings and open her heart to others. "Alright, I'll invite him."
"Good, that's the charitable thing to do." Ma encouraged.
"We aren't compatible Ma. He has a heart of stone."
"Give it time dear." Ma meddled.
Sarah nodded, but she already had her mind made up about Orville.
~*~
The next week Sarah invited Brady, Orville and Haney to come to dinner. She thought it might be good for Haney to get away from his surroundings some and realize that life went on.
Brady wore his best clothes, Haney was excited, but Orville acted as though Sarah was sweet on him.
"Thanks for inviting me to dinner. I've heard your Ma is the best of cooks." Orville smiled at Sarah.
"She is, but she's not my Ma…I mean…not really. I've sort of adopted her though.
"
Orville was sitting on the porch swing, waiting on dinner and Sarah really wanted to go in and help Ma, but he kept talking about his new job and that he was staying."
"Glad you got the job." Sarah said, standing by the porch railing.
"Won't you sit down, I feel silly sitting here, and you standing over there." Orville patted the seat.
"I've been sitting all morning. I need to get inside and help Ma."
"Oh, the way I hear it, she's used to feeding a crowd of people." Orville chuckled.
"Yes, that's exactly why she needs my help. Oh…look, here comes Luke, he can keep you company, excuse me." Sarah said.
Luke came through the gate and up to the porch just as Sarah was going inside.
"Orville, isn't it?" Luke asked, as he watched Sarah disappear inside.
"That's right. You are the preacher?"
"On Sundays, yes. On other days, I'm a rancher." Luke explained.
"Really, two occupations at once. Must keep you busy?" Orville smiled.
"A little. Which reminds me? I haven't seen you at church yet. I hope you'll come by for a visit one Sunday? With your mother, of course." Luke invited him.
"Of course, I'm sure she'd love it." Orville adjusted his collar.
"I hear you'll be working at the bank." Luke asked.
"Yes, I start tomorrow as a matter of fact. I'm an accountant. Something the bank needs right now."
"I'm sure." Luke glanced at the door.
"Where is your ranch located?" Orville asked, eyeing him closely.
"North of town about two miles. You're welcome to come out and see it any time." Luke glanced at him, then the small rose garden.
"I could use a good riding horse, I don't own one yet. Do you have any for sale?" Orville asked.
"As a matter of fact I do."
"Good, maybe Sarah will ride with me out there to check on one."
"How are you going to ride if you don't have a horse?"
"I guess I'll have to borrow Brady's wagon, I'm sure he won't mind." Orville smiled as though he expected the question and was delighted to inform him.
"Any day but Sunday would be fine then…" Luke acknowledged. "Doesn't Brady use that wagon to haul lumber over to the Henderson's?"
