by Liz Talley
“Is that what you believe?” she asked, her chest flooding with a sudden achiness. Surely he didn’t believe they weren’t made for each other? They were so good together, balancing each other out. When she was with him, she felt like a better version of herself, and though this weekend had shaken her a bit, she now knew where she belonged. Lacy had suggested she needed to get off the path, get lost. And Jess wanted to get lost in life with Ryan. “Truly?”
Ryan set the gas can near a stand holding free circular newspapers and came toward her. “What makes you think we belong together in any way other than having a good time?”
“I don’t know.” Other than the fact she felt it in her bones. In her gut. But most important, in her heart.
“See? Me neither. Because it’s more and more evident to me each minute we’re here in Morning Glory that we do not belong together. This is not my town. But it’s yours. And it’s Benton’s. When I saw you together an hour ago, I knew that you belonged with him and I had been fooling myself thinking we could be anything more. Maybe it was that old daydream of mine. To have the cheerleader. To take something of Benton’s. I’m sure a therapist would have a field day analyzing me.”
“No. I don’t belong to Benton. I don’t belong—”
“Well, you and Benton sure looked chummy an hour or so ago,” he interrupted, crossing his arms. “But it’s okay. I’ll survive without you, Jess. I was fine before you came into my life—a little too drunk, but fine—and I’ll be okay without you. Can’t say I won’t miss you, but I’ll deal.”
She didn’t know what to say, because he seemed to have already written them off. She prayed it was a pride thing. If he didn’t want to be with her anymore, it would hurt. A lot. So she played the card she’d been holding. “I love you.”
He actually flinched and then wrenched his gaze from hers. “Don’t do that.”
“No, Ryan. I do. I love you.”
“No, you don’t. I’m the guy who helped you get over heartbreak. I know my role. Don’t patronize me by saying something you don’t mean.”
“I’m not,” she said, sliding off the car. Her heels teetered a little, and she wanted to reach out and touch his arm. But she didn’t, because he was still angry and resigned to letting her go. “What you saw back there at the church was me telling Benton that I’m not interested in getting back together with him. That I’m not coming back to Morning Glory.”
He jerked his gaze back to hers. “Not coming back?”
She shook her head. “Part of my confusion this weekend is the way I feel being home. Thing is, I love this town, but I’ve changed. As crazy as it sounds in only a month’s time, I’ve learned I’m more than the Jess Culpepper I’ve been for the past few years. I found a whole amazing world out there I truly like living in. Though working at the hospital has been challenging, I love being back in surgery. I like my new friends and the food from Little China and seeing the dolphins each morning. But most of all, I love being with you.”
He swallowed, his eyes measuring her. “That’s risky.”
“I know. And I like the risk of telling you how I feel. I’m tired of playing by the rules.”
Ryan lifted an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.
“I never understood what Benton was talking about, you know. When he came to me that day and said he wanted out and he wanted experiences, I couldn’t fathom him wanting anything more than me.”
“I can’t, either,” Ryan said.
His words gave her hope. “But you know what? When I left the too-snug nest I’d built for myself here in Morning Glory, I found a way to breathe life into myself again. You breathed life into me. And it’s been good being on this journey.”
“Of course it is. You were in a bad place, and I was there to make you feel better about yourself. Like a good puppy should.”
“You’re not my puppy, Ryan. Just because you’ve always cared about me doesn’t give you less power in our relationship,” Jess said, moving a little closer to him. “But you are right. You made me feel better, and I convinced myself you were just a rebound. The rules said I shouldn’t let myself love you. I shouldn’t get attached.”
“But I am your rebound.”
“No, you’re not. You’re the three-pointer at the buzzer. You’re the win.”
He made a confused face. “Oh, a basketball reference.”
Jess couldn’t help herself. She smiled. “Ryan, I’m not giving up on you. My whole life has been about staying between the lines, following the path, sticking to the plan. I don’t want to live that way any longer, so if that means I love you and you don’t love me back, I’ll deal. All I’m asking for is a chance to try out these new wings. To be with you.”
“You’re not coming back here?”
“Not if I can help it. I need to be away from here, to take risks, to find my new life. And I need to be with you … if you want me.”
For a few seconds, Ryan looked off, shoving his hands into his pockets. His eyes ran over the gas pumps, the cars whizzing by on the highway, the scraggly grass in the ditch next to the gas station. “I want you.”
The sudden moisture prickling in her eyes wasn’t unexpected. She’d become a fountain over the weekend, dripping tears and emotion all over the place. Someone with a mop might need to follow her around. “Good.”
“You hurt me. I didn’t think that was possible. I mean, when I was a kid, all the mean taunts, them locking me in the closet, shoving me in a locker, and egging our house, that was rough, but nothing came close to seeing you with him today. It was like my heart had been ripped from my chest. I didn’t want to love you, Jess. I didn’t plan you, either.”
“Oh, Ryan,” she said, reaching for him. Her fingers brushed the back of his arm, and he withdrew his hand from his pocket and caught her hand in his.
She sighed. “I’m sorry for everything that happened. I shouldn’t have asked you to come, but I’m so glad I did. I don’t think I would have figured anything out had you not been here. I needed to know you better, and seeing you here helped me understand so much … about you … about me … about my ass of an ex-husband. I know it’s hard to understand what I’m saying, but it was sort of like waking up.”
“No. I’ve had those moments of clarity. Smacked me in the head,” he said, his fingers caressing hers. “It can’t be this easy, can it?”
“What?”
“Love.”
“Love is never easy, but it’s worth it. We can figure it all out together. I know what I feel when I’m with you, and it’s better than anything I’ve ever felt. I feel loved, sexy, safe, excited, convicted. I just feel right when I’m with you.”
“But what if—”
“That’s the thing. We don’t know. This is what you wanted that night when you walked home in California—a full life. It will be messy sometimes, and we don’t know anything for certain, but I’m not running from this. Come do this with me. Let’s—”
“I love you. I’ve always loved you,” he said.
And then she was in his arms, and his lips were on hers.
Jess wrapped her arms about his neck and let all the feelings she’d been holding inside go. Ryan loved her. She loved him. They’d figure the rest out together.
His mouth grew more insistent as he clasped her waist and pulled her hard against him. She tripped a little and stumbled into him. He went back, but then spun so he landed on the hood of the limo. He fell back, taking her with him.
“Thank God,” she muttered, kissing him again. And again. And again.
She didn’t care that her skirt was likely hiked up or that the fluffy petticoat showed. She didn’t care when one nude pump slipped off and clattered to the ground or that someone walked past to enter the store and stared at them. Because Ryan loved her.
Finally, he blinked up at her, his green eyes full of … love.
Sweet Jesus, he loved her, and this was right. So right.
“Yeah, man. That’s what I’m talking about,” someone c
alled over her shoulder. She slid off Ryan and flipped into a sitting position. Ryan sat up and grinned at the man wearing a Kuntry Kitchen shirt standing in the door. He gave them a thumbs-up and then disappeared back into the store.
“Who was that?” she asked, laughing. They’d made quite a spectacle making out on the hood of a limo in front of a gas station.
“An old friend who helped give me my own lightbulb moment,” Ryan said, sliding off the hood and fetching her escaped shoe. He carefully held it so she could put her foot in. Total Cinderella I got the prince moment. “Weird how people outside your life can give you perspective.”
“Or people the closest to you can threaten to knock sense into you.”
He crooked a questioning brow.
“Eden,” she said, sliding her hand into his. “Hey, do you mind going back to the reception? I sort of have to take the car back.”
“I’ll go anywhere with you. Even to Morning Glory,” he said with a smile. “But first I have to rescue my dad’s clown car. For some reason he wants it back.”
“I’ll give you a lift,” she said, sliding off the hood, opening the passenger door and plopping Barry’s driver’s cap on her head.
“You’ll never believe who gave me a lift to the store,” he said, the smile on his face mirroring hers.
“Who?”
“Elvis,” he said, tapping the trunk. She popped the button so he could set the gasoline can inside.
“You’re joking. The guy who was supposed to play Rosemary’s reception?” Jess laughed.
Ryan walked around and got in the passenger side. Jess slid into the driver’s seat and adjusted her cap. “Where to, Dr. Reyes?”
“Anywhere with you,” he said.
Jess closed her eyes. “Those are the second best words I’ve heard today.”
“The first ones?”
“I love you.”
Ryan leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. His kiss tasted like a promise.
“You’re going to love me even more for this,” he said, lifting his cute buns to fish a hand into his pocket. He pulled out a business card. “How about we give Elvis a call and get him back for the reception? I didn’t give Rosemary and Sal a wedding present, and something tells me this will be their favorite.”
“I love you.”
“I won’t get tired of hearing that,” he said as he grabbed his cell phone.
Epilogue
A month later Jess stood on the beach with Rosemary and Eden. They’d spent the pretty autumn day drinking piña coladas while lounging in beach chairs and reading magazines. That night they’d gone out for seafood and listened to Rosemary’s account of her Vegas honeymoon with Sal. Jess never would have picked that location for her old-fashioned friend, but the pictures on Rosemary’s phone showed a heart-shaped hot tub, Sal with a flamingo dancer, and Rosemary with, of course, an Elvis impersonator. They’d ridden roller coasters, played craps, and spent a lot of time in the Bellagio honeymoon suite.
“It’s so beautiful here,” Rosemary breathed, swiping a bare foot across the crystal sands. The sun lingered over their right shoulders, and children splashed in the rolling waves. Summer had gone, but the days were warm enough to swim, the night cool enough to make a walk pleasant. Jess started walking in the surf pushing onto the sand. Rosemary and Eden followed.
“I could live here,” Eden said, kicking a wave.
“Not me,” Rosemary said, smiling at her friend. “I like my small-town life, and so does Sal. He’s now part of the Rotary Club.”
“He’ll be president by next year,” Jess said with a smile. Coming up the beach, she saw Morgan with her new man. The brunette gave a wave. Jess waved back. Morgan had come around once Jess moved in with Ryan. They’d even had margaritas last week while Ryan and Logan repaired the railing on Morgan’s condo.
“Probably,” Rosemary said with a smile.
Jess had spent the last month moving all of her belongings to Pensacola. She and Ryan weren’t engaged but instead had chosen to move in together. Her parents weren’t exactly thrilled about her living with a man, but they understood both her and Ryan’s need to take things slower. She and Ryan were happy with how things were going, and they were planning on hosting Ryan’s parents for Thanksgiving, something Ryan still marveled at. “Ryan will be teaching at Pensacola University next semester.”
“You didn’t tell us that,” Eden said with a smile.
“The job offer was made official today. He’ll be going back into academia, but he’s still running the charter boat service on the days he doesn’t teach classes. He’s excited about working with students, and he’ll be collaborating with another professor on a research grant.”
“Bet that made his parents happy,” Rosemary said.
“They’re pleased, but you know, I think they’ve finally accepted he’s not interested in being a Nobel Prize winner. But he is rediscovering the nerd side of himself. Even dug out his Dr. Who and sci-fi movies from underneath Rudy and Fast and Furious.”
“I love a sexy nerd,” Eden said with teasing in her voice. “Does he know any single professors at the college waiting to sweep the manager of Penny Pinchers off her orthotics?”
They all laughed and kept walking toward the sinking sun, happy to be together for a few days.
“You’ll have your turn,” Rosemary said, looking over at Eden.
“I know,” Eden said, sobering. “I haven’t told you guys, but Sunny got some bad news about Alan. You know he’s doing a tour in Afghanistan. The helicopter he was in went down.”
“Oh no,” Jess said, stopping and looking at Eden. “Is he okay?”
“They haven’t found any survivors yet. They’re still searching.”
“That’s horrible, Eden,” Rosemary said, taking her hand. “How’s Sunny?”
“She’s hanging in there. She’s three months along, and since she lost the last pregnancy around this time, I’m worried about the stress from all this. She’s already on bed rest. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to bring a cloud along. Getting together will be harder now that both of you are settled down. And, honestly, I feel so selfish. Alan and Sunny were supposed to move back to Morning Glory once he finished his tour. I had hoped to finally go to college, and now I don’t know what will happen.”
“You’re not being selfish,” Jess said, wrapping an arm around her friend. Eden always seemed to get the short end of the stick.
They walked for a few minutes, none of them saying anything. Letting the unfairness of life peck at them. “Oh, hey,” Jess said after a few minutes of walking. “I almost forgot.”
Reaching into her cardigan pocket, she pulled out the paisley bag.
“The charm bracelet,” Rosemary said with a smile.
“Since I’m now in love, with a new job, and living on the beach, I figure I did what Lacy wanted. I let go and got lost. I found Ryan and a part of myself I never knew existed. No, a part of myself I wouldn’t allow to see sunlight.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’ve always been snarky and sarcastic and practical, but beneath my scrubs I have a heart that’s—”
“A little romantic?” Rosemary finished for her.
“Yeah, a little,” Jess admitted, untying the strings that secured the ditty bag. She tipped the bracelet into her hand and extracted the small plastic bag that held a charm shaped like a flip-flop.
“Oh, that’s cute,” Eden said, taking the plastic bag and holding up the charm.
“Since I’m living on the beach, I figured it worked. Plus, I liked the little jewels in the thong part. A little sparkle in my life’s not a bad thing.”
Rosemary pretended shock with a gasp. “Next thing you know, you’ll be wearing sequins and using glitter eye shadow.”
“Ha-ha,” Jess said with a smile, carefully taking the charm away from Eden and sliding it from the bag. Holding the bracelet, she clipped it on. “There.”
She held the bracelet up and wiggled it
. “Mission accomplished, Lacy.”
Twenty yards or so out, a dolphin rolled over the gentle waves.
“Oh my gosh. Did y’all see that?” Rosemary said, chasing the sucking surf a few feet and peering out at the spot where the dolphin had emerged. “Do you think …”
She looked back at them.
Jess smiled and shrugged. “I’m living with the Brain. Anything is possible.”
Eden laughed. “I don’t think Lacy would come back as a dolphin. She hated getting her hair wet, remember?”
“That’s true,” Rosemary said, rejoining them. “But still, that was cool.”
Jess slid the bracelet back into the bag and held it out to Eden. “Your turn.”
Eden waved off the bag. “I’m not ready yet. Okay? Besides, if I take it now, my dream will turn out to be Gary on a motorcycle and me with five snotty rug rats living in a trailer beside my mama.”
Jess wanted Eden to take the bag, but she understood. Eden was too scared to believe anything good would happen to her. But Jess knew it would because she now believed in the woo-woo Lacy had promised. Maybe there were guardian angels who wore blue wigs and drove orange pickup trucks. Jess tucked the bag back into her pocket and linked her arm through Eden’s and then Rosemary’s. “Come on, Eden. You’ve got a fairy tale in front of you.”
“I don’t want a fairy tale. I just want to quit working at Penny Pinchers. Prince Charming can wait.”
“But sometimes he doesn’t,” Jess said, thinking about her own Prince Charming lying naked on the beach stargazing. Sometimes a gal trips over her Prince Charming … and finds he was exactly what she wanted, warts and all.
And as she and the girls returned to Del Luna, she caught sight of Ryan standing on the beach, looking out at the surf. It struck her that on her first night in Pensacola when she’d taken the moonlight walk on the beach, he’d been there. Waiting for her.
As he was now.
Ryan turned and smiled as they approached and held out his hand to Jess. He wore a plaid shirt and a lanyard from Pensacola University that said Department of Biological Science. “Who wants some tequila?”
