by Nina Walker
I woke to sharp pounding on my door and catapulted myself from my bed. The gym training must be going better than expected because I landed expertly on my feet. I fell into a defensive crouch. My heart thundered as I glanced bleary-eyed around the room. Darkness filtered through the drawn shades on the dormitory window. Another series of booming knocks sounded. There was a cry and a shuffling noise. What was going on?
I didn’t hesitate. I leapt for the door and pulled it open. The hallway was dim. Nobody. I peered from side to side, my ears trained in the direction I’d heard something. The shuffling sounded again, around the corner. “Help,” someone mumbled, before the cry broke off.
I darted toward it, down the hall and around the corner, ready to jump in and aid whoever was in trouble. My instincts kicked into high gear. The hair on my arms stood on end. I was only wearing shorts and a tank top but hardly noticed the cold air as I swooped into action.
Again, nobody was there. What in the world is going on?
Then a blood-curdling scream erupted though the space. It sounded farther down. I squinted into the darkness. A figure was crouched down, much farther up the corridor. A few of the other dormitory doors flung open, but I took no notice as I sprinted down the hallway. Just as I reached the figure, it stood to full height. A man, much taller and much older, loomed over me. There wasn’t a trace of emotion on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, confused.
“Sorry,” he muttered.
A ripple of pain blasted through my side, followed by a clipped boom. He stepped back, lowering a gun into his holster, and disappeared into the darkness.
I gasped, the icy pain turning to tormented burning. I fell to my knees. Blood blossomed around the wound, forming a circle of crimson. He shot me! My mind grew dizzy. A few people surrounded me in a wide arc. What were they doing? Why were they just standing there?
“Help me!” I screamed, but the sound came out all wrong.
Someone moved forward. “Don’t,” one of them said. “She hasn’t been initiated yet, remember?”
“Oh, sorry,” another replied. Was that Nate?
I tried to respond. Only a low moan came from my mouth. What were they talking about? All at once, they retreated to their rooms. When the last door closed, panic ran through me. How could they be so cruel? I tried to piece it together—why someone would shoot me, why others would walk away—but I couldn’t make sense of it over the pain. My mind wasn’t clear.
I held my side, shocked at the blood. There was so much! If I didn’t do something, I was going to bleed out. I struggled to look around the hallway, trying to figure out where I was. That’s when I realized what the tall, darkened shadows in the room next to me was—one of the greenhouses. I gritted my teeth, pushing with both my hands against the wound and willed myself to a standing position. I shuffled to the room, gasping as I opened the door. I fell, grunting, crawling into the room. I reached out a bloody hand for the closest green I could find.
It didn’t take long to get ahold of a plant, but the time it took me to reach my magic felt like an eternity. Finally, the green alchemy flowed through my body, penetrating the source. The healing was familiar. It was icy, tingly, as it wove through the wound. I kept one hand on the pain and another grasping desperately at the poor plant crushed between my fingers. Something solid oozed out of the wound and into my palm. The bullet. Relief swept through me as I stared, shocked. But the pain still held on as my eyes fluttered. A wave of tiredness overtook me, exhausted from both the magic and the wound. I managed to lie down just as the darkness took me.
“That was a harder test than most get,” someone said, perturbed. “You didn’t need to go to such lengths as to shoot her.”
“We had you on standby,” someone else responded coolly. “She was never in any real danger. And look? She passed. She’s fine.”
Where am I? What is happening? My thoughts were hazy. A wave of adrenaline pulled me to the surface. My eyelids fluttered, and a needle of light found its way into my vision. I opened my eyes, blinking repeatedly up at the women standing over me.
“Good, you’re awake,” Jasmine said, frowning down at me. I wanted to cry out and hug her. She brushed a bead of sweat from her forehead. She looked tired. Worried. I blinked a few more times, trying to gauge the situation and failing. Faulk was with her. A glint of disappointment flashed across her face before she stepped back. Why were they standing over me, and why was I lying on the floor?
“What happened?” I asked, sitting up, but the memory came flooding back just as I asked the question. “I was shot!” I hissed.
“Clearly. She’s observant,” Faulk remarked.
“You passed the test,” Jasmine said. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t allowed to warn you. I didn’t know they would go to such lengths.”
“You had me shot?” I gasped, glaring at Faulk.
She only shrugged and scribbled something down in a notebook. She and her people were clearly done with me as they began to exit the greenhouse. Well, at least I’d passed the test.
Jasmine knelt down next to me and brushed the loose hair from my face. I breathed a sigh of relief, allowing myself to be comforted. She’d become not only my mentor, not only my contact to the Resistance, but probably my best friend in the palace. It sounded weird to be best friends with an old lady, but it was the truth.
“The king wanted to see what you were made of,” Faulk said, standing in the doorway. “We usually shoot a few other people for you to heal. But sometimes, the lucky ones get to be shot and heal themselves. You should be grateful; this will only raise your esteem in the palace. I, of course, didn’t think you’d be able to do it. You’re a more powerful healer than I gave you credit for.” She stared at me for a moment, almost torn by her statement, her jaw tense. She slammed the door behind her.
Well, okay then…
“She’s right,” Jasmine said. “What you did was remarkable. I was in here the whole time. I would have stepped in if you needed me, but you passed that test with flying colors, Jessa. You should be very proud of yourself.”
“Thanks. But geez, a little warning would have been really nice,” I said, reaching for Jasmine as she helped me rise to my feet. I was a little unsteady, so I leaned against the woman for support. “That was terrible.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” Jasmine sighed as we moved toward a couple of chairs. “Believe me, it wasn’t my idea.” We sat. She faced me so her back was to the glass wall along the hallway. She opened her palm to reveal a blue stone. It was risky, doing that here. She must have good reason. A wisp of magic danced in the air before it split, going into me and then into her. In the darkened room, no one from the outside would have seen it. And with the magic now flowing, we’d be silent to the outside world. If someone looked in the window, it would appear we were just sitting here, resting for a moment.
“Don’t say anything,” she said. “You’re facing the hall, and I don’t know if someone is watching.” I narrowed my eyes at her and nodded imperceptibly. I understood what was at stake. Normally, she used the switch to turn the glass wall opaque, but that was too dangerous with officers lurking outside.
“Your initiation is being moved up quickly. The king plans to pass you in the orange tomorrow no matter how the test goes, so there’s nothing to worry about with that.” She got up, tending to the plant I had used in my recovery, her back still to the hallway. “But it means he needs you to be a guardian sooner than we expected. He must want to use your red alchemy in the war, especially now that Thomas is dead. It’s the best explanation.”
I shuddered, but it made sense. I had to gain his trust. And then when the moment was right, I would turn on him. I would find a way to bring him under my control, under the control of the Resistance. That had been my mission all along. I was terrified of what it would mean for me, but I could do it. I fidgeted in my chair, pulling my shirt up to look at the mess of blood.
“There’s more. Your initiation is set for just two
days’ time. You’re not supposed to know this, but they’re always similar. There will be another party, a nice dinner, and you will be asked to use your magic publically to do something for the king. There will be a large crowd of the alchemists and officers there to watch it all happen—bring you into the fold, so to speak.”
This was news to me. But I could handle it.
“There’s one last thing.” She paused, coming back to sit down, grim-faced. “You’re out of the Resistance.”
“What?” I sputtered.
“Shhh,” she said. “Don’t talk, remember?” She leaned over, appearing to look at my wound.
I stared into her eyes, willing her to read my thoughts.
“Look, I can’t explain what happened, but it’s not good. For the time being, we need to lie low. No more missions until I’m sure it’s safe. No more talking to me about anything other than normal guardian business.”
I bit my lip, hating what she was telling me. The Resistance was the one lifeline I had left to my family. I was not okay with being cut off from them.
“I’m really sorry about this. But it can’t be helped. I promise to bring you back in as soon as I can.” Fine. “There’s one last thing,” she added. “I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but you deserve to know. We have plans to use your initiation to stage an attack. You’ll be fine. But you must stay out of trouble.” My eyes were probably as large as saucers at this news. “There will be a lot of high-level people in one room at the same time. And with most of the best fighters gone, we can’t miss this opportunity. But you, Jessa, must not reveal your alliance to the Resistance under any circumstances. I too will be sticking to the background, keeping my cover.”
With that information-bomb, she slipped the blue rock into her pocket and gave me a quick hug. She left the room in a flash. “Get some rest,” she said, disappearing around the door.
I soon followed, heading back to my room, the shock sinking into me with each step. So much had happened in the space of one night. I still couldn’t believe it. First, I’d been shot, then I’d passed another test, only to find out that the Resistance was ditching me, even if it was temporary. It still hurt—the memory of the bullet wound and the news about the Resistance. And now my initiation into the Guardians of Color loomed. I was scared of everything that it entailed, but an attack? What would it mean? Who would they go after?
But this was what I’d wanted. I needed to chill and move forward. There was no turning back. No matter what, I had to make sure I passed tomorrow’s orange alchemy test. I had to shine at that initiation ritual. Whatever it was, I would excel and earn my place.
I shuffled into my room and landed with a thud on my bed. I stared at my ceiling, going over every possible scenario the rest of the night. My mind couldn’t stop spinning, but deep down it didn’t matter. I couldn’t control what Richard did to me, but I could control my own effort. And I would do everything in my power to impress him.
It wasn’t until much later when my whole body had finally relaxed that I opened my hand. The bullet still rested in my bloody palm.
13
Sasha
“I heard it’s your birthday,” Mastin said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I hate birthdays,” I moaned. It was a matter of fact. I didn’t get what the big deal was. And I didn’t want to celebrate. “So what? I’m another year older, who cares?” I shrugged.
He smirked and sat by me on the fallen log—currently my favorite thinking spot.
“How old are you?”
“Twenty.”
“A new decade of life. What’s not to celebrate about that?” He laughed. “I’m also twenty,” he added.
I rolled that fact over in my mind for a minute. “You’re young to be working so closely with a general, aren’t you?” I tried not to sound impressed. His ego was big enough as it was—no need to inflate it more.
He shrugged and changed the subject. “So, do you come here often?”
I let out a laugh. Living in close quarters with other people meant I had very little privacy and space. I spent most of my time outside during the warmer months. Once winter came, I would get super cooped up. I watched a leaf as it fell in the wind, resting on the hard earth. A breeze blew my hair out of my face, and I pulled my collar up around my ears.
“How did you find me?” I asked.
I was a little off the beaten path, higher up on the mountain. Or “hill” as Hank called it. There was a clearing with a view of the whole camp, and now that there were more people here than ever, I’d needed to find a new alone spot.
“I found you by accident.” He shrugged. “I was just looking for somewhere to get away.” He held up a book. I smiled and held up the ratty paperback that I clutched in one hand.
So he wants to be alone and yet when he saw me, he chose to sit right next to me. I filed that information away as I peered over at him. He shifted closer and his warmth brushed my arm.
“You know, Hank has been to the Rocky Mountains. He acts like they’re so much better than these. Is that true?”
Mastin laughed. “I wouldn’t say better. It’s beautiful here too. But yes, they’re a lot bigger.”
“I’d like to see that.”
“You will.”
I nodded, placating him. But I wasn’t sure if it was true. I’d spent the better part of a decade hiding out in Canada. I was used to this place. To think I’d ever go to West America was almost unfathomable. What would it even be like? Would it be better than what I had here?
I looked over at Mastin, studying him. He was wrapped up in a coat and scarf, unperturbed by our proximity. “Why are you being so nice to me?” I blurted. Sometimes, I wondered if he forgot I was an alchemist.
“I don’t hate you, if that’s what you think.”
But he hated alchemy.
Cole said laws on alchemy in his country would be changing soon. I knew better. It was probably a lie, a manipulation to get what they wanted from us. I didn’t like feeling backed into a corner, and the truth was, maybe the Resistance actually did need their help.
“I don’t know what I think anymore,” I murmured as we fell into silence.
We sat for a while. I was more and more comfortable around Mastin every day. He wasn’t my type, so rigid and by the book. But I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t attracted to him. I was. The accident with the orange alchemy had proven it. But at the end of the day, it was foolish to get close to a guy like Mastin. We may be from the same planet, but we were from totally different worlds.
And you don’t have time for that right now. It was the truth I clung to.
“Do you still hate alchemy?” I asked, feeling brave.
He stood, pacing, but silent. I wasn’t sure he was going to reply when he looked back at me. “I was raised to be a soldier my whole life. I was always the top of my class.”
“And what does that have to do with alchemy?” I asked, pressing the question again.
“Our soldiers are trained to maintain order.” He stopped, taking me in with his eyes. “Our job is to not only protect our country from outside invaders, but to protect our citizens from the alchemists that pop up. It was something I personally worked on.”
“What do you mean?” I stood too. “Just tell me.”
“If an alchemist was reported, I would go and apprehend them.”
“So you’re basically telling me that you were not only trained to hate alchemists, but you personally saw to it that they were put away? Awesome, Mastin. I think that answers it.” I shook my head.
He squinted at me, jaw tense. “What I am saying, Sasha, is that I was trained that way. Magic doesn’t fit in my world.”
“So that makes it okay then?”
“I saw a lot of dangerous people.”
“Most of them were children, though, weren’t they? How can you hold them accountable for that?”
He didn’t answer.
I studied his eyes, looking for something that would make it okay
. But the green eyes staring back at me were unreadable. “Got it.”
“No, you don’t get it, Sasha. I was trained to hate alchemy. And I thought I would hate you. I knew I would…” He paused. “But I don’t. I should, but I don’t feel what I should feel for you.” He shook his head. “I have to go.”
He stalked off down the hill. I let him leave, somewhat relieved that he had. The last thing I needed was to get mixed up with a guy whose job was to put alchemists in prison. I needed to forget whatever weird feelings were building between us. Besides, if I wanted a relationship, there was someone else who would be a much better fit for me.
My thoughts traveled to Tristan.
He’d been my rock growing up, my best friend for ages. But in the last few years, Tristan had grown into a man. And I had grown up too. He was older than me by five and a half years. And for most of my life, he felt like the brother I never had. But lately, things between us had shifted. It had all started that night he’d confessed some sort of feelings for me. I hadn’t been able to get him out of my mind since.
He is good for me. He brings out my best qualities. And I do feel something for him, too.
Mastin was like the forbidden fruit. And that was probably why I was suddenly crushing on him. I pushed all thoughts of romance out of my head, determined to be done with it once and for all. My focus needed to be on preparing these alchemists for the battle ahead.
I sighed and began to make my way back to camp.
Much to my annoyance, I found myself at Tristan’s door. Our recent argument had been weighing on me. I needed to make things right with him. In hindsight, I could see why he was more comfortable going into New Colony as soon as possible. He’d been ready to fight years ago, and only now had the opportunity finally presented itself. Of course he wanted to take it. He was also ready to live a free life outside of this camp.
I knocked on his door, sucking in a breath.
