by Jocelyn Han
And yet, deep down, she couldn’t really believe he was like that. She’d seen him play games with Tom and Patty in the yard. He truly enjoyed having a surrogate family by being a sort of father to the twins whenever Danny and Margaret were too busy to entertain them. Plus, he was taking the guardian thing seriously – she felt protected under his care. No matter how nasty the Carters or his mistress were to her, it was always clear Nic was on her side. It just wasn’t clear to her whether he had her back because she was his half-niece or because he liked her in a different way.
One afternoon, just as Alen and Ava were done harvesting some pumpkins, Nicolas walked up to the vegetable garden. “Ava,” he called out to her. “Your books have arrived.”
“Oh, finally! That’s great,” she enthused, setting down the wheelbarrow she’d been rolling to the pick-up truck. “I really missed my books.”
“Great,” Alen echoed, mock-sulking at her. “I guess this means you’re giving up your gardening internship, now that you have better things to do with your time?”
Ava laughed. “Of course not. I’ll help you till the bitter end.”
“Which is in two days’ time,” Nicolas added, smiling at Alen. “I just got word from Commander Kelso. They’re expecting you at the station by the end of the week.”
Alen’s face lit up. “I can’t believe I’m really going.” He grabbed Nic’s hand and shook it sincerely. “Thank you so much for your confidence in me.”
“You’re welcome. You’ve earned it,” Nicolas replied.
Ava patted Alen on the back, then spontaneously hugged him. “You’re gonna do great,” she mumbled.
As she and Nicolas walked back to the house, Ava looked back at Alen a few times. They’d grown quite close, and now their time together would end. “I’ll miss him when he’s gone,” she mused.
“You and him have become good friends, huh?” Nic said.
“Yup. Friends and colleagues.”
“Just friends?” he asked after a few beats of silence.
Ava slowed down. “Why do you ask?” she evaded the question.
Nicolas came to a stop and narrowed his green eyes as they flashed with something that looked like envy. “Well, I – I’m your guardian,” he faltered. “If the two of you are involved, I should know.”
Oh, this was interesting. Ava chewed her bottom lip, trying not to smile with satisfaction. Nic was playing the warden card, but unfortunately, he wasn’t doing it very convincingly. She could swear he was jealous – it stung him that she’d been spending this much time with Alen. “Well, he’s leaving,” she replied vaguely, enjoying her little game.
“What does that mean?”
“Does it have to mean anything?”
He clenched his jaw and stared down at her with a dark look in his eyes. “Why can’t you just answer my question?”
“Because I don’t know what you even mean by ‘just friends’,” she snapped back, suddenly losing it. “I mean, you introduced Clea to me as a friend. Is that the kind of friendship we’re talking about here?”
Nicolas took a step closer, his face now very close to hers. “That’s none of your business, Ava,” he said, an exasperated edge to his voice. “Stay out of it.”
“Well, how can I, if it’s staring me right in the face every day?” Tears welled up in her eyes, and she shrunk away from him before he could see.
“Look…” He sighed. “I don’t expect you to understand. The Elite world is a place very different from yours.”
“Yeah? Well, in my world, I don’t have sex with guys I have no feelings for. And a friend is just a friend, nothing more.”
Nic stared at her, his gaze sweeping her face. “I upset you,” he said hoarsely. “I’m sorry. I was out of order.”
Ava shook her head, wiping at her eyes. “Look, just forget about it. I was rattling your cage because I thought you had no right to ask me those questions.”
“You’re right.” Nicolas closed his eyes for a second and rubbed his face. “I have no right. You can pick who you want.”
“Well – once I’ve chosen, I’ll let you know,” Ava said, her voice cracking on the last word. She turned away from him and ran back to the house.
Nicolas was lying to her without even knowing it. She sure as hell couldn’t pick who she wanted. Because the person she wanted was him.
8.
That evening, Ava left the dinner table early. She had no idea whether Clea would show up tonight for a friendly visit, but she wasn’t sticking around to find out.
“No dessert?” Mrs. Pipps inquired her when Ava got up.
“No, I’m full.” She smiled wanly. “I’ll be in my room. Probably going to phone some friends.”
Just as she started up the stairs to the second floor, she heard someone call out her name. Alen caught up with her on the landing, looking at her with a worried frown. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” she replied sullenly.
He cocked his head and shot her a look punched with ‘really now?’
“Okay, everything,” she admitted, sitting down on the floor at the top of the stairs. Alen joined her. “It’s becoming very hard to be around Nicolas. I just – can’t seem to figure him out. He’s banging Clea, but he doesn’t like her. And sometimes, I get the feeling that he likes me.” She blushed as she said the words.
The Croatian groundskeeper sighed deeply. “I’m pretty sure he does.”
Ava gave him a bug-eyed stare. “What?!”
“This is why I warned you and told you to be careful. Because you’re going to get hurt, Ava.” He raked a hand through his hair. “See, Nicolas has been waiting for a girl like you for a long time. You’re smart, gentle, you share his crazy ideals, you’re beautiful – but he can’t have you, because he’s your guardian.”
Ava blinked away some tears. “But he won’t be my guardian forever,” she pointed out.
“He’s still your half-uncle.”
“So? I only met him once before in my life. He doesn’t feel like family.”
“But he is.”
She scowled at her friend. “What are you trying to say?”
Alen thought for a minute. “That your chances of ever having him the way you want are minimal,” he finally replied. “His own principles won’t allow it, and his family certainly won’t allow it.”
When he hugged her gently, Ava started crying. She slumped against his chest, letting her tears run free. Life was so unfair it made her sick, and she had to let all her frustration out. When she finally calmed down, Alen brushed the hair out of her face and smiled. “You’ll survive,” he simply said.
“I hope so.” She smiled back feebly. “Hey, once I get my inheritance, I’ll book a ticket to Saturn so I can visit you at your new workplace.”
Alen chuckled. “Yeah, I’d like that. Bring a pumpkin for old time’s sake, will you?”
They got up and Ava thanked him once again before disappearing into her room. She was happy for Alen he was making a career move, but she dreaded being without his counsel. For a moment, she wished she had fallen in love with Alen – it would be so much easier, but that wasn’t how things worked, unfortunately. She couldn’t control her heart.
By the time the clock struck eleven, Ava was still up. She’d been talking to Georgie, reading one of her favorite books, listening to music, but now that it was time for bed she was getting hungry again. Maybe Mrs. Pipps had left her some dessert in the fridge. Since she hadn’t heard Clea’s annoying voice downstairs yet, Ava assumed it was safe to venture outside.
When she stepped into the kitchen, her eye fell on a big piece of apple pie waiting for her on the kitchen counter. At least, she hoped Margaret had left it out for her, because she couldn’t resist. Picking up the plate, she rooted around in the drawer to find a fork, then pushed open the connecting door between the kitchen and the living room.
Ava stopped mid-stride. Nicolas was there, all by himself. He looked up in surprise when she entered. “Hey,” he
said, his face lighting up. “Couldn’t sleep?”
She shrugged. “I was hungry,” she said, holding up the apple pie by way of explanation.
Nicolas grinned. “I see you found my food.”
“Oh!” She bit her lip. “I thought Margaret had left it out for me.”
“Well, you said you were full, so…”
“Yeah. I changed my mind.” Ava gave him an innocent smile, and Nicolas rolled his eyes.
“Fine. It’s yours. I’ll get another piece later.”
She sat down next to him on the couch. “So, what are you doing here?”
“Thinking.” He put down his empty wine glass. “About you.”
“R-really?” she stuttered, her heart suddenly beating in her throat. “Why?”
“I was thinking – if you want to follow Alen to Desida Two, maybe you should. If it makes you happy. There’s got to be a way to work around the provisions in your father’s will.”
Ava’s mouth dropped open. “What are you talking about? Why would I want to do that?”
“I saw you two,” Nic replied tersely. “After dinner. Sitting together on the landing.”
Oh, God. “Did – did you hear us talk?”
He shook his head. “You were crying in his arms. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
Ava let out a deep sigh. “No, I’m not. Like I said, we’re just friends. And he was comforting me, as a friend.”
For a moment, Nic looked completely flabbergasted. She couldn’t quite make out whether his eyes reflected a sense of surprise or relief. “Then – why were you crying?” he asked, gently putting a hand on her arm. “Are you still unhappy here?”
It was a more difficult question than he could possibly know. “It’s not this place. I just miss my father,” she stammered. “And I miss life on Earth. I never wanted to fly to the moon to begin with.”
Nicolas smiled. “Reminds me of that old Sinatra song.”
She frowned. “Sinatra?”
“Yes. Fly Me To The Moon?”
“Sorry, I have no idea who or what Sinatra is.”
“You can’t be serious.” Nicolas started to grin. “We have to fix that ASAP. Really, how could your dad not have made you listen to Sinatra’s songs?”
“We didn’t have a lot of CDs,” Ava mumbled. “Or access to music networks. I know CDs are horribly old-fashioned, anyway.”
Nic jumped up from the couch. “Hang on. Let me play you that song.” He walked over to the wall and flipped open the panel giving access to the manor’s database. Ava followed him with her eyes, her face slowly heating up as her gaze devoured the look of his strong arms and taut ass, the way the fabric of his shirt pulled at his broad shoulders. Being in the same room with him without other people surrounding them made her aware once more how incredibly hot she was for him.
When he turned away from the panel, Ava quickly looked away, afraid he’d see the burning look in her eyes.
Nicolas slowly strolled toward her, whistling along to the song pouring from the hidden speakers in the room. He extended a hand to her. “Come on, let’s dance,” he invited her with a playful smile around his lips. “Dance your worries away with me.”
His invitation was so sweet and heartfelt that she didn’t have to think twice. Ava got to her feet and took his hand, relishing the tingle down her spine when his skin brushed hers.
Nic pulled her in, putting his other hand in her waist. He made her blush a little when he dipped down his head to sing the first few lines of the song to her, looking into her eyes.
“Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars,” he sang. He had a surprisingly good singing voice. “Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.”
His voice trailed off when Sinatra continued singing his song.“In other words – hold my hand. In other words – darling, kiss me.” Nic didn’t sing or speak anymore. All he did was hold her close and spin her across the room in a dance so intimate it made her heart race.
“You are all I long for, all I worship and adore.” Sinatra couldn’t have sung truer words, and all of a sudden it was too much. Ava couldn’t listen to his optimistic voice anymore without tearing up again. If only Nicolas could speak these words to her, but he wouldn’t. Stifling a sob, she abruptly tore herself from his embrace and stepped back, sagging onto the couch.
Nic momentarily stood as if frozen in the middle of the room. Then, he rushed over and sat down next to her, his eyes brimming with anxiety. “What’s the matter, Ava?” He gingerly touched her face. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No.” She choked on the word. Everything had felt so right – that was the whole problem. “I’m just thinking of my dad. He would have loved this song. It’s so full of hope and love.” Which was as good as an excuse to burst into tears while dancing as any other.
Nicolas let out a sympathetic sigh. “Come here, you,” he said roughly, cradling her in his arms, drawing her so close to his chest that she could feel the heat radiating from his body. His hands gently rubbed her back, and her heart skipped a beat. God, he smelled so good.
Still sniffling slightly, Ava leaned her head against his shoulder and wholeheartedly crawled into his embrace. She could feel Nicolas’s heartbeat when she pressed her hand to his chest. He was so alive and full of passion it made her tremble with yearning.
After the song ended, the room filled with a deep silence. Yet he didn’t let go, and neither did she. Sitting quietly, they kept clinging to each other until there was no longer any reason for it. Suddenly, the stillness became pregnant with meaning. The mood in the room shifted, the tension between them suddenly all too palpable.
Ava’s breathing turned shallower when Nic’s hands slowly started to rub up and down her sides. She swallowed hard. Was he doing what she thought he was doing?
She slowly inched closer, timidly putting one hand on his thigh. Neither of them spoke while Nic’s hands kept caressing her, sliding further up to her ribcage so his thumbs lightly brushed the sides of her breasts. His breathing was uneven against her forehead when he slowly leaned into her, making her hand ride up his thigh. Her fingers trembled as she inadvertently touched the slight bulge in his groin. Oh God – he was turned on just by being close to her. It made her feel strong and powerful.
Nic’s strong hands hesitated for a few beats before they gently palmed her boobs, making her quiver under his touch. There was no doubt now what he was doing. Ava didn’t dare look up at him, afraid she would break the spell if she did. She just exhaled shakily, her breath ragged as she arched her back to push her breasts into his hands and feel him closer. Her mouth landed in his neck, trailing soft kisses up his throat.
At that instant, the doorbell rang.
Nicolas froze in her arms. He sucked in a breath, scooting back, scrambling to sit up straight and look her in the eye. Speechlessly, she stared at him. He blinked and swallowed hard. “Ava,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I didn’t mean to. I just – wanted…” Helplessly, he turned away from her.
“I’m sorry,” she babbled. “I just thought that – I mean, what were you…”
“I have to leave,” he said, abruptly getting up and stalking off into the hallway. Ava cursed under her breath. Whoever was standing on that doorstep would be her sworn enemy forever. God knows what would have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted.
She tried to bite back tears when she heard Clea’s voice drifting down the hallway. Oh, brilliant – her misery was complete now. Nicolas was going to take the passion she’d stirred in him upstairs and let it play out with Clea in his arms. She hated him for letting her in, and she hated the Elite woman who seemed to have such a hold on Nic. When she heard the two of them walking away from the sitting room, Ava crossed the room and kicked open the door leading to the kitchen, her fists clenched in rage.
“Oh my God,” she gasped when she turned around and suddenly spotted Mrs. Pipps sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of hot tea. “I’m sorry to disturb you.”
Margaret shrugged. “That’s all right,” she replied. “I think Clea disturbs me more.”
Ava bit her lip, giving a little eye roll. “Yeah, I hear you.”
“Come.” The housekeeper pointed at the chair nearest to Ava. “Have some tea with me.”
How long had she been here, sitting at the table and listening in? Had she heard their voices from the living room? Ava awkwardly poured herself a mug, not looking at Margaret observing her from across the table.
“He doesn’t love her, you know,” Mrs. Pipps mumbled softly.
Ava tried to control her trembling hands. Stubbornly, she stared into her mug. “What does it matter?” she said dejectedly.
“A lot.” Margaret poured herself more tea. “He doesn’t sing for her. He doesn’t dance with her. She doesn’t bring him joy.”
Her cheeks burned with embarrassment and anger all at once. “What do you know?” she snapped. “Don’t tell me things like that. There’s nothing I can do.”
“Of course there is,” Mrs. Pipps told her in the same tone she used to scold Patty and Tom sometimes.
Ava looked up. “Well, what do you suggest I do?”
“Fight for him,” the housekeeper said matter-of-factly. “Most men are clueless fools and they need convincing.”
What the hell? She felt an unexpected laugh bubbling up from deep inside of her. “Are you serious?”
“Serious as a heart attack,” Margaret replied, her face so deadpan that Ava erupted in fits of laughter. It felt liberating. She couldn’t remember having laughed like this in a long time, and it was as if a weight was being lifted off her shoulders. Margaret was right – if she wanted Nic, she’d have to fight for him, one way or the other.
“I’m going upstairs,” she said, pushing away her mug. “And I’ll keep in mind what you said.”
“You should.” Margaret smiled up at her. “I think you know that every rule has an exception. You don’t necessarily have to break them.”
Ava was still quietly smiling to herself when she stepped into the hallway. There was no sign of Nicolas and Clea, so they’d probably gone upstairs. Well, she wasn’t going to let it get her down. Mrs. Pipps was right – Nic didn’t care about Clea the way he cared about her. And sooner or later, he would realize it too.
