by Sam Bailey
My life changed beyond all recognition from that day on. Digital Spy had managed to get hold of a list of the final 12 and people were talking about me a lot online. I found myself obsessively reading things, and it was so weird that people knew who I was and were taking the time to write all of these things about me. Groups of X Factor fans were having full-on discussions and thankfully most of it was nice. I hadn’t been seen on TV yet, so I hadn’t started to be recognised in the street or anything, but things definitely felt different to how they had done a month earlier. I had a few weeks before I went into The X Factor house. Craig was amazing and told me he had everything covered, so I didn’t have to worry about the kids, but we both knew it wasn’t going to be easy.
By now I’d started to lose weight, so I had to go and buy more clothes to take into the house with me. I know people talked a lot about my weight when I was on the show, but the producers didn’t put me on any kind of ridiculous diet or force me to go to the gym every day as some people reported. In the weeks running up to leaving the kids and Craig, the stress of everything definitely affected me. I was running around loads and forgetting to eat, which meant the weight was coming off.
I’d also started doing Tabata when I got through my first X Factor audition. I knew I wanted to get some weight off and my local gym recommended Tabata because it was something I could do at home. Tabata is basically interval training, where you work really intensely for five-minute periods at a time. You can do it in front of EastEnders, so it’s really easy to fit into your life no matter how busy you are. I don’t want people to think I was going crazy and doing it every night, because I wasn’t, but it did really help. Just before I went into the house Craig and I also did MFT, which is military fitness training. That really makes you work. You’re lifting logs and running around in mud, so you have to push yourself.
The other really important thing was that when I was working in the prison service I was eating the wrong things at the wrong times, but in the X Factor house I was eating three square meals a day. We had breakfast laid on and then a chef would cook us lunch and dinner, so I wasn’t going to the local takeaway at 10pm to get saveloy and chips. I lost about three stone from my first audition to the final, and went from a size 18 to a 10–12.
In early October 2013 Lorna, Shelley and I were all filmed going into the X Factor house together in north London. It didn’t seem real, this unbelievable place with a swimming pool and a massive back garden. The kitchen alone was bigger than my entire house. Someone told me it used to belong to Lionel Richie but I’m not sure if there’s any truth in that. We were running around finding all of these ridiculous new rooms and I nearly fell over when I saw the music room!
Somehow – and I never, ever questioned why – I managed to get a bedroom all to myself. Everyone else had to share, but for whatever reason they put me on my own. Other people in there had kids too, but maybe it was because I was the oldest and I was married so they wanted me to have some privacy to talk to Craig?
We were kept stupidly busy and the first week was spent routine-ing our songs and practising our ensemble track, Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’. Annie Williams, the vocal coach, went through all of our songs with us, as she did every week. We also had to have a makeover and do a photoshoot for the opening credits. I went into hair, make-up and costume wearing a dodgy leopard print top with strangely curly hair and no make-up and I came out looking completely different. They said it was the best makeover on the show – probably because I no longer looked like myself!
I was happy for them to do pretty much anything to me. I was well up for experimenting. I wasn’t like, say, Tamera who had her own style. I didn’t really have a style of my own, other than rather scruffy. The only thing I didn’t want to do every week was wear dresses because that made me look and feel like an Over, and as far as I was concerned I was only in my mid-30s. I didn’t want to look like a frumpy mum.
The first week had a 1980s theme and when we drove into Fountain Studios for the first time I’d never seen anything like it. There were so many girls and most of them were screaming for Sam Callahan. It was crazy to think that all of those people were there just for us: the final 12 acts in the competition.
The first live show itself was the most unbelievable experience, but to a certain extent I was just happy to get through it. I performed Jennifer Rush’s ‘The Power of Love’ and the producers stuck me on a podium that had dry ice swirling around the bottom of it. I was wearing heels, which we already know aren’t my forte, and just after the second verse I was supposed to walk down three stairs onto the stage. Eek. I was fine in rehearsals, but the big studio doors had been open, so the dry ice had been seeping out. But that night there was nowhere for it to escape to, so it was really thick and up to my waist. I couldn’t see the steps but I had to walk forward without looking down and somehow navigate my way onto the main stage in a dress and killer heels. I was absolutely petrified. I let out a massive sigh of relief when I made it down there safely, and from that moment on I put everything I could into the song.
The standing ovation and the feedback I got from the judges made the past 20 years of hard graft feel so worth it. The only problem was that people were going so mad about my performance that I started to worry I’d set the bar too high and it was all going to be downhill from there. When I watched my performance later, all I could focus on was that my fingernails looked really stumpy because I’d bitten them down to the quick and had to have false ones put on. I should have been evaluating my singing, but instead I was thinking, ‘I hope my nails have grown a bit by next Saturday’.
The kids, Craig and my mum came to see that first show and it was so lovely, but because Tommy was under six he was only allowed to watch me perform and then he had to leave the studio. My mum stayed with him but unfortunately they didn’t get to see the show as the only room available for them to wait didn’t have a TV!
It was also hard having to say goodbye so quickly because I missed them like mad. That became the routine: me saying goodbye to them every week and then getting really upset knowing it would be another week before I could hug them. But I’d known the deal when I auditioned for the show and it was my choice to be there, so I didn’t expect sympathy. It was all incredibly tough on Craig too. He was in charge of divvying up my eight tickets each week and he got so much hassle from people because, not surprisingly, everyone wanted to come along. He was contemplating pulling names out of a hat at one point just to keep people off his back.
All of the X Factor contestants had been written about in the press from day one, but after that first live show things really stepped up a gear. There wasn’t a day that went by when there weren’t pap pictures or a story of some kind in the tabloids and online. Most of the time I let it go over my head but there were a few things printed that upset me. There was also a lot of speculation about other work I’d done. It came out that I’d auditioned for The X Factor previously, as I’ve mentioned, and I was linked to Max Clifford, but that story is nothing like it was made out to be.
In 2011 I’d been asked to do a gig in a pub called The Horse and Hound in Broadway in Worcestershire through a friend of mine called Mark Bolton, who is also a singer. My first night happened to be the same evening they were switching on their Christmas lights and loads of people were dressed in old-fashioned clothes. There was mulled wine and mince pies and the atmosphere was amazing. As I’ve said before, when the crowd are good, you’re good. I was singing ‘And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going’ from the musical Dreamgirls, which was always my last song of the night, when I saw this lady walk in and walk back out again. A few minutes later she came back in with a white-haired man who I recognised as Max Clifford.
Max came up to be when I’d finished and asked if I had a business card, which I didn’t. Instead I got a beer mat, of all things, and wrote my number down for him. I didn’t hear from him for a few months but then his PA contacted me and said Max had a few corporate events coming up he�
�d like me to perform at, and he also wanted me to sing at his upcoming birthday party that weekend. I travelled to New Malden in Surrey and went along to a beautiful Italian restaurant called Il Camino. It was a tiny little place full of all his friends. There were no celebrities at all and it was nothing like I expected. I know all sorts of things have gone on with Max recently, but I saw him as a really genuine bloke and he used to rave about me to people when no one else believed in me.
About eight months later Max asked me to perform at a charity event that was helping to raise money for British flood victims. As a result of those gigs there was all of this ridiculous stuff in the papers claiming that he’d called up Simon Cowell and told him all about me and that he had to get me to win The X Factor. But it’s a public vote, so it’s a ridiculous thing to claim! I didn’t even tell Max when I went in for The X Factor because we hadn’t spoken for ages. In fact, the first time I’d seen him since that charity concert was at the final of The X Factor because he was backstage.
I wasn’t used to being talked about and every time something else came out in the press I’d think ‘Here we go again’. I tried not to give it too much thought because it could easily have distracted me and taken my focus away from my performance each week, which was the whole reason I was in the show. I kept setting myself goals throughout the live shows and at some point the nerves started to dissipate. I got more used to standing up on stage in front of a crowd of thousands. It was like I could block them out and concentrate on singing.
But another thing that hacked me off was when someone sold a story to the papers saying that I wasn’t just a prison officer, I’d also worked professionally with Beverley Knight and Lulu. I was accused of being a backing vocalist for loads of artists and people thought I was trying to pull the wool over the public’s eyes. But I was doing nothing of the sort. I’ve mentioned before that I performed on the same bill as them at a charity concert, but I had to do a bit of damage control because that backfired on me and people thought I was being dishonest. I did work with some famous singers in the sense that we shared a stage for a night, but I wasn’t on the stage at the same time as them or sharing a dressing room! I would happily be a backing singer for any of those people, so I should take it as a massive compliment, but I hated people thinking I wasn’t being completely honest.
One of the most exciting things about being on the The X Factor was some of the amazing people we all got to meet, although I made a complete douche out of myself in front of Robin Thicke. I saw him walking down the corridor and I gasped and said to him, ‘I’m not allowed to talk to you otherwise I’m going to say something really stupid. Can I possibly have a photo taken with you?’ What. A. Dick. I’m not very good at having my photo taken with famous people, or even talking to them, because I still get star-struck all the time now.
There were so many people who performed on the show. Katy Perry was one and she had a massive entourage so we didn’t really get to speak to her. Lady Gaga was the same. She had an army of people around her and she was so tiny we couldn’t even see her. It was the same with Taylor Swift. I didn’t even know she was in the building because she was kept totally separate from us.
I really liked it when acts came down to see us and gave us a pep talk in the dressing room. If I go back on the show at any point I will definitely do that. My advice will be, ‘Good luck, enjoy it, channel your nerves and don’t worry about letting anyone else down. This is your dream so take it day by day.’
Jessie J was absolutely amazing when she came on. She came and spoke to us all, as did Harry and Niall from One Direction. The other three members of the band walked down the corridor with their heads down and didn’t even make eye contact with any of us. Harry really saved me one night because I was having a massive, massive paddy over an outfit I’d been made to wear that I didn’t like. Plus there had been stuff in the papers about me that day that had upset me, so I felt like I was having a bit of a meltdown. Harry saw me crying in the corridor and he pulled me into a dressing room, grabbed me by the shoulders and said, ‘I think you’re amazing. You’re an amazing singer. My mum loves you.’ I’ve since become friends with Harry’s mum. We chat on Twitter and meet up and we get on really, really well. She’s got so much to be proud of with Harry. He’s one of the good ones.
Mary J. Blige came out and spoke to us; she seemed really friendly but I think it was more her entourage that wanted to move her away from us. I reckon she would have chatted if she’d had the chance. But the absolute highlight of all the acts I met was Michael Bublé. I was the only one left in the Overs and Sharon knows Michael quite well, so I got a private meeting. It was the semi-finals and he was in a Winnebago outside the studios and Sharon took me out to meet him. I chatted to him for a while and I even sat on his lap. The crew wanted to film it but they couldn’t get the camera to work, so I was quite happy to sit there for a good five minutes! Later on, when the other contestants and I were waiting to go on and do the ensemble piece, he walked past, stopped and said to me, ‘I’ve just watched your audition. Oh my god, your voice is amazing!’ Then he took a photo with me on his phone. On his phone!
Robbie Williams was brilliant, as always. He apologised to me backstage for the comments he’d made in LA and said, ‘I want to take back everything I said when we were at Judges’ Houses. I was really worried that you were going to be played on Radio 2 loads and people wouldn’t hear enough about you but I was so wrong. You’ve totally got my support.’ He even said on the show that he was backing me to win. Olly Murs is a lovely lad, too. I think the people who have been through the same sort of process are the ones who ‘get it’ and always have a few words of wisdom for you. Little Mix were blinding, such top girls. I’ve seen them at a few things since and I can’t fault them. They’re always friendly and good fun.
Rebecca Ferguson was gorgeous and James Arthur was pretty cool. Having been the previous year’s winner he made sure he made time to come and have a chat with us all. It was a difficult evening for him because he had to go on stage and do a big apology for some Twitter comments he’d made. But fair play to him, he did it well and he was great to all of us. Leona Lewis was really nice to hang out with and quite shy and unassuming. I sang ‘Bleeding Love’ with her and it made me realise what a difficult song it is to sing and how incredible her vocal range is.
JLS were among my favourites because they were such a laugh. When us finalists performed with them on the show I was wearing these sequined trousers that were black one way, but silver if you rubbed the sequins up the other way. For some stupid reason I drew a massive willy on my leg in silver sequins during the camera rehearsals. I didn’t make a big deal out of it, I just waited for people to notice, and I remember Aston and some of the crew cracking up.
I was gutted I didn’t get to meet The Killers when we were in the final. We were running around so much we didn’t get a chance to say hello, but we did get to watch their performance from the side of the stage and the atmosphere was so incredible.
One of the most amazing moments of my life was when I got to meet Celine Dion, who was the nicest person ever. She was really funny and lovely and I think that’s why she’s still going strong now. There wasn’t a hint of diva about her. I noticed that her entourage and her husband Rene sat in the canteen with everyone else. They weren’t hidden away and they were friendly to everyone.
She’s one of my singing idols and of course I’d been to see her at Caesars Palace in Vegas. The autograph Craig bought me had hung proudly in our conservatory for years but the sun had faded the signature, so when I met her I asked her to sign it again, which she happily did. If you’d told me in Vegas all those years ago I’d have had the opportunity to ask Celine to re-sign my picture of her, I would have said you you were insane. Her best advice was to keep going and take care of my voice, and you can’t say fairer than that. She’s so lovely she even tweeted to say congratulations when I won. Maybe I should frame the tweet too?
While we’re on
the subject of legends, I also got to hang out with Elton John, who took a selfie of the two of us on his phone. I didn’t manage to get a picture of my own at the time, so I’m still trying to get hold of a copy of the one he has if anyone has got it. Elton?!
Oh yes, and let’s not forget me meeting Michael Bolton… That was so unexpected, which made it even more special. We were back at the house and we were all told we had to do press interviews. Mine wasn’t scheduled until 5pm and I was gutted. I knew that if I could swap with one of the others and do my interview early I could go home and see my kids, but the crew were insisting that I stick to my original time. I’m not going to lie, I was very overtired and very angry, so I went to my room and had a good old cry. I phoned Craig and I wasn’t in the best mood so we ended up having a massive barney. It was such a frustrating situation and seemed really unfair.
I would say that the hardest thing about being in the show was not being able to see my family as and when I wanted. We had Internet connection in the X Factor house but we were all sharing it and people were downloading performances and songs and all sorts, so it was so slow. I got so upset about not being able to Skype Craig and the kids one day that one of the crew members gave me the staff password so I could use theirs. I missed them all so much.
One of the researchers came up and said that Sharon was on the phone for me. We started talking about song choices and I told her how upset I was that I couldn’t see the kids. She said to me, ‘You’re the only contestant I’ve got left and I want you to put some make-up on, wear something really nice, hold your head up high and go and do that interview at 5pm. Don’t show any weakness to anyone in that house. You go out there and you show me what you’ve got.’ With her words still ringing in my ears I pulled myself together and went downstairs to rehearse the group ensemble.
