Daring to Dream

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by Sam Bailey


  Nicky and I were back at Wembley bright and early the next day. It was going to be a long one, so we stole as many quiet moments as we could during rehearsals. There were ridiculously good performers on that night. Gary Barlow was duetting with Elton John. Nicky and I felt a bit bad because Elton had been given the dressing room we’d made such a mess of the day before. Mind you, it didn’t look a mess by the time he arrived at the studios. He invited Nicky and I to go and have a chat with him and it was a totally different room. It was unbelievable: velvet drapes, a plush carpet, sofas and a champagne fridge, a million miles away from the Nando’s filled state it had been the previous night.

  Loads of my friends and family came along to support me, including my nan Rita. We lost her at one point when she went to the toilet and it turned out she’d been mobbed by people asking for photos. I think she secretly loved it.

  The day passed in a flash and before I knew it the show had started and it was time for the group song. Everyone on that show had worked so hard and doing that would be acting like we thought we were better than them. I messed up the group song a bit. I started in the wrong key, which made Nicky go wrong. Thankfully he handled it really well and instead of being cross he looked at me and we both laughed. It wasn’t the ideal start but the only way was up!

  That night I sang ‘The Power of Love’ and ‘Skyscraper’. Both songs went really well, but I’ve watched the final back a couple of times and I see so many little things I’d like to change. I’m so hard on myself. I just see myself sweating and my make-up running! I got great feedback but there was no telling who was going to be crowned X Factor winner.

  When it was time for the results to be announced Sharon came on stage and stood next to me and I think we were both in a state of shock. We were waiting for Dermot to read out the all-important name but he was taking forever. All I could hear was the audience screaming and the sound of a very loud, thumping heartbeat.

  The press had been saying for a couple of weeks that I’d won it because of the voting figures, but it was far from a done deal. I was worried that if people thought I was a sure thing they wouldn’t bother to pick up the phone to vote for me, and instead they’d cast their vote for the person they saw as the underdog – Nicky.

  It felt like Dermot waited hours before he said my name, but when he did there was a slight pause before it sunk in. I turned around and Sharon was on her knees in tears in complete disbelief. I looked at her and I was so happy because she’d succeeded in what she wanted to do: she wasn’t ever going back to The X Factor and she wanted to go out with a bang. And she really had.

  It was a real ‘pinch me’ moment for me, too. I knew that my life would never be the same again. Nicky came over and gave me a big hug and when I looked down Gary and Nicole were cheering. Sharon and I had a massive hug and she was laughing her head off. Dermot told me I got over a million votes and I was in such a state of shock I could barely speak. I remember saying that I loved Nicky McDonald to death and that he had to get an album out. I was crying and when Nicky said if he could lose to anyone it would be me, I was in bits.

  Sharon was so happy. In fact, she bought me a Louis Vuitton suitcase to say thanks! I was so excited to have a real Louis Vuitton, one that wasn’t from Turkey. Sharon is so pukka. Out of anyone she could easily play the big ‘I am’ but she’s so down to earth. I’ve never met anyone else like her and I’m not sure I ever will.

  As soon as I left the stage I was whisked off to do interviews and Craig was left stranded. He was absolutely livid because he hadn’t had a chance to see me and he was almost in tears. When we did finally get to see each other The X Factor wanted to film our ‘emotional reunion’ so we couldn’t really relax properly. The whole night was phenomenal but I did miss sharing it with Craig and the kids.

  There was an aftershow party backstage and when I walked in hundreds of people were staring at me. A VIP area had been roped off for me and there was a bright red sofa with ‘X Factor Winner’ written on it. I was so embarrassed I made everyone else come and sit with me. There was champagne laid on but I was more interested in the cake section. Instead of celebrating with booze, I ate coconut macaroons and drank tea. I had my photos taken with tons of people and signed a lot of autographs but I called it a night pretty early because I had to get up and appear on GMTV and This Morning the following day.

  I stayed in the Corinthia Hotel in Westminster that night to be close to the ITV studios, and it was beautiful. My room had a TV in the bathroom and I was so impressed, but all I wanted was for Craig, Brooke and Tommy to be there. I think it was harder knowing that I could have seen them down at the show but there hadn’t been much time. Craig had driven back to Leicester because the kids had school the next day and he was really angry they hadn’t got to see me properly. I phoned him and I kept saying to him, ‘It’s only a week and then I’ll be home. Just hang in there.’

  I did a lot of TV shows, interviews and signings the week after the final and it was knackering but it’s part of winning The X Factor. What was really weird was how many people were running around after me. It was like I had a proper entourage, but I felt really uncomfortable with it. I had people dressing me and offering to get me food or drinks, and it’s just not me. If someone offered to make me a cup of tea I’d say no and then go and make myself one a while later. I remember at one point I said I really liked this pair of Nike Air Max trainers and the stylist went out and got me two pairs. It was insane.

  Craig was still holding the fort at home and I couldn’t wait to get back to him. The only time the kids were seeing me was on TV, but thankfully I got to go home for one night midweek because Leicester City invited me along to sing during a match at half time. I was like an excited kid. I was out in the middle of the field for a game against Manchester City and as a long-term supporter you can’t get much better than that.

  Finding out that my single had got to number one was incredible too. I went to Radio One to do an interview and they broke the news to me. My record company Sony gave me a massive bunch of flowers and I got an award from the Official Charts Company.

  More recently I was given an award from the prison service as part of the prison officer of the year awards, which means the world to me. It was a statue of a prison door and underneath there was an inscription that read, ‘In recognition of Sam Bailey, winner of The X Factor 2013, for raising public awareness of the positive work performed by the Her Majesty’s Prison Service in protecting the public and reducing reoffending.’ I was so touched.

  The only fly in the ointment of winning The X Factor was something that I found out afterwards. I’m not going to lie; Rough Copy were quite arrogant but I put it down to them being lads. I’ve worked in a prison, so I’ve seen men with loads of bravado, but as soon as they got voted out the whole house was an easier place to be. I knew I wasn’t their favourite person but I was never confrontational about it. If someone doesn’t like me, fair enough, but I still have the respect and professionalism to talk to them. All in all, we didn’t have the smoothest relationship and I think they had a problem with me going as far as I did in the competition. But I knew I was going to be on tour with them and I wanted things to be as easygoing as possible.

  However, not in a million years did I expect one of them to do what they did later that night. I was on stage after I’d won, singing ‘Skyscraper’ for the second time. All of the other acts ran on cheering and I was covered in lipstick and confetti. Joey from Rough Copy stood next to me on stage, grabbed Nicky’s head and mouthed, ‘Nicky’s the champion, Nicky’s the winner’, pointing to him, just inches away from me. He wasn’t stabbing me in the back: he was stabbing me in the eye because he was being so blatant about it.

  I didn’t know anything about it until someone told me afterwards and I was mortified. I couldn’t believe someone could do that. The most annoying thing is that that piece of footage became part of the video for ‘Skyscraper’, so people can blatantly see it. I’ve seen Joey since and
I haven’t mentioned anything, and I’ve had a laugh and a joke with the band, and I am working on forgiving him. I don’t like to bear a grudge but it’s something that I won’t forget.

  Meanwhile, back home things had been tough on Craig, and it wasn’t until I got home myself that I realised just how tough. It had been so much harder for him than he was letting on. He didn’t want to tell me when I was in the competition in case it made things more difficult for me and so he kept quiet. All he saw was me looking like I was having a really glamorous experience, and even though I told him how much hard work it was at times, it was hard for him to get his head around.

  I definitely had a few meltdowns during my time in the show but Craig was the one who was really being put through it behind the scenes. Our friends and family pulled together and helped as much as possible but he was exhausted, bless him. He says he’s now got the utmost respect for single working parents because he had four or five months of being on the go from 6am until 10pm, taking the kids to school, then working and having to do the washing, ironing and cooking.

  The show definitely did put pressure on our relationship at times, but it wasn’t anything major. Some of the press really went to town and made out we were on the brink of splitting up but it was never that bad. We had the odd argument but what couple wouldn’t if they were under that kind of strain? And things are so much better since. Having that time apart made us appreciate each other more than ever. We had become so busy that we’d almost forgotten how to have fun. We were constantly working and when one was coming in the other was going out and we’d stopped going on ‘dates’ and enjoying each other’s company. We do more things together now and I think the show taught us to appreciate each other more. We’ve just celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary and we’re in a better place than ever.

  We all had a brilliant family Christmas in 2013 and I think it meant even more because we’d been apart for so long. I hadn’t done any Christmas shopping because I was so busy that Craig had to do it all, but he did a really good job. However, as soon as my money came through for winning of course I got overexcited and went out and got more stuff. I couldn’t help myself. We didn’t spoil the kids too much – well, no more than usual – but there were certain things that I wanted to get them, like a Wii U.

  Craig and I went to Asda to do the food shopping on Christmas Eve and instead of the usual half an hour it took us over two hours. Every time I went up a different aisle I had a queue of people asking for autographs and photos. In the end Craig had to leave me and go and do the shop on his own because we would have been there all night.

  I also got to spoil the people who helped Craig and I out so much when I was away, like Greg and Laura and Gavin and Sarah (Craig’s brothers and their other halves). I got the lads an Xbox One each and I took the girls to Beaverbrooks to buy them a Michael Kors watch each, and then I treated them to dinner in an Italian restaurant called San Carlo in Leicester. I got tickets for Craig’s mum to go and see Michael Bolton and she got to meet him afterwards, and I think it’s fair to say she quite enjoyed that. But they all deserve all that and more. There’s no way we could have gone through The X Factor without them.

  Craig’s firm, Vaclensa in Manchester, were amazing about everything. They were so supportive and they allowed him to take time off or move his shifts around when he needed to. They were really understanding and there aren’t many jobs that would help out like they have.

  The one thing I promised Brooke when I went into the show was that after it was finished I’d take her to France. She was learning loads about it at school and she was desperate to go. So on New Year’s Day we went to Paris for the night and then on to Disneyland Paris. It was amazing. I said I’d take her to see the sights and I kept my promise. She got to go up the Eiffel Tower and see the Louvre. Disneyland was amazing and that was one time when I didn’t mind getting special treatment! We had a guide with us at all times and we didn’t have to queue for any of the rides. The kids absolutely loved it (okay, Craig and I probably did a bit too much, too).

  I started recording my debut album on 18th January 2014 at Metropolis recording studios in Woking. It had a tennis court and swimming pool, so it was very luxurious and such a good experience. I love working on music and it was a dream come true for me. I was in the studio for around two weeks and funnily enough Nicky was there recording too, so we got to have a good catch-up.

  I also caught up with a certain Mr Bolton. We did a duet, ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’, which you will have heard if you’ve got my album. Michael is such a witty, laid-back guy and he’s kind of been like a guardian angel to me in some ways. We went for dinner a while ago and I had to phone Craig and say, ‘If you see some pap shots of me coming out of a restaurant with Michael Bolton, it’s all above board, okay?’

  I performed at the National Television Awards during my first week at the studio and I felt like a proper celeb. I had my own dressing room and Michael and I opened the show with ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’. The kids’ choir from Educating Yorkshire did backing vocals and they were brilliant. I spent time with Michael during the day and he helped to steady my nerves because that’s a massive deal for me. Also, because all of the kids in the choir were so nervous I felt like I had to step up a bit and be strong for them, which helped me to keep focused.

  I also sang ‘The Power of Love’ during the awards and it was my first solo performance since The X Factor. What a crowd to do it in front of! I was like a properly excited fan because I got to meet so many TV stars. I told Danny Dyer to fuck off for a laugh, just because I could, and he was such a nice bloke. I saw Shane Ritchie again, the cast of Mrs Brown’s Boys and Hayley from Corrie. I was in showbiz heaven.

  In another case of amazing timing by me, when I got back from recording the album I discovered I was expecting baby number three. I had sore boobs – which, as I’ve said, is always the giveaway for me – so I took a test (in Asda of all places!) and when it showed up as positive I burst into tears because I felt like I’d let everyone down. I was mortified. I was bawling my eyes out. As well as thinking I’d been a total idiot I was also scared of going through childbirth again and having all the pain.

  I really wanted another baby before I entered for The X Factor, but Craig and I didn’t have the money or the space at the time. I always saw myself having three children but we were realistic about the fact I’d have to take time off work and we’d have to get an extension on the house. We didn’t want the kids to have a share a room because we had a new baby. It wasn’t fair. A lot of people get pregnant and then worry about things afterwards but we didn’t want to do that. We were probably almost too sensible about it all.

  Craig and I did finally manage to laugh about it when we were going round the aisles. We both looked at each other and suddenly cracked up. I think that was the moment I properly thought about how incredible it was going to be having another child rather than worrying about what people would say about it.

  The baby had been conceived on New Year’s Eve before I performed at a club called G-A-Y. Craig and I were staying in a hotel around the corner and we had a spare five minutes! That’s what happens when you take a woman away from her husband for four months. I was so scared about telling my management company; I thought they’d be furious, but they were brilliant and said it was great news. I know some people have said I’ve been stupid to get pregnant and that it will ruin my career but I’m beyond happy to have three kids. If anything it will make me work harder because I want the best for all of my children. They will always come first in everything.

  I was able to work throughout quite a bit of my pregnancy. I just had to take things easy when I needed to. I had to move my tour from October to January 2015, and I had to turn down a lot of things abroad because I couldn’t fly. But apart from that I carried on as normal. I did a lot of gigs and festivals, so the new arrival was well-travelled before she even came into the world. I was due to do a charity event when I was sev
en months pregnant called ‘An Evening with Sam Bailey’ and I really thought I was going to have to pull out because I was feeling pretty terrible. Thankfully, in the end I managed to get there okay. I kept thinking how awful it would have been if they’d had to change the title of the night to just ‘An Evening…’

  I started rehearsals for The X Factor tour soon after I found out I was pregnant and of course because it was such early days I wanted to keep it a secret for as long as possible. But that didn’t prove easy. On the first day Sam and Luke came running up to me and got me in a headlock and I was like ‘Uh-oh, I’m going to have to say something’. I didn’t want to tell Sam because he was going out with Tamera, so of course he would want to tell her. Tamera would then have told Hannah, and Hannah would have told Rough Copy and… You get the picture. So instead I pulled Nicky and Luke to one side and told them, but I swore them to secrecy. They were so excited for me, bless them. I also had to tell the two choreographers because I had to be careful with the dance moves. I didn’t want the dancers to think I was being a diva if I wasn’t joining in but of course there were certain things I couldn’t do.

  In the end it all got a bit too much for me keeping the news from everyone, so when we had our end-of-tour meeting I announced it to the other acts. I think people thought I was going to do some kind of inspirational speech but instead I announced that I was having a baby. Ironically, Rough Copy were really sweet about it and hilariously kept asking people around the table if they were the father. Everyone congratulated me and they were genuinely happy for me.

  My kids were very funny when we broke the news to them. We bought them both an iPad Mini each and sat them down in our living room. When I said, ‘Mummy and daddy are having another baby’, Brooke just said, ‘Really?’ and all Tommy cared about was what mummy was hiding behind her back. They told everyone at school the next day and they were genuinely over the moon.

 

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