And Ryan did feel bad, horrible even. He knew that Gabriel looked lonely and it would have been so easy to invite him to hang out or to eat lunch with him. The whole school knew that David picked on him and yet he did nothing, just like everyone else. Ryan liked to think that the Guardians had taught him better than that but he fell to peer pressure just like every other teenager. He felt ashamed by that fact.
“Don’t be sorry,” Gabriel said. He slowly got out of the chair and walked over to the fire place. He stared into the dancing flames for a few moments, resting his arm on the mantle. “I thought that he was going to kill me, he kept telling me that his partner didn’t want me dead but I didn’t believe him....
He took a deep shuddering breath.
“I kept waiting for it to end...for him to finally realize that I didn’t know anything...”
Gabriel forced down a wave of emotion. He had felt so helpless around Sainte-Pierre, someone that had a lifetime of knowledge when it came to dishing out pain and suffering. He knew that if he looked at Ryan he would lose it, instead he kept most of his focus on the fire.
“I tried to stay strong,” Gabriel said. “I really did...”
“Don’t think about that,” Ryan urged. He got up off the couch and went to stand next to his friend. “You’re safe, remember. We got you out of there and there is no way that Sainte-Pierre is going to get you again, do you understand me?”
Gabriel nodded and wiped tears from his eyes.
“The only thing that kept me going, when he started torturing me again was the thought of seeing my family again and the thought of seeing you again...wait that came out wrong.”
“Stop,” Ryan said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I know what you meant, you don’t have to explain yourself, I’m just glad you’re ok.”
“I knew that if I survived, if I could just hang on you guys would find me.”
“That’s an awful lot of confidence in us.”
“I trust you.”
“We promised to always tell each other the truth, right?”
Gabriel nodded.
Ryan reached down and firmly grabbed Gabriel’s right arm. He gently pushed up Gabriel’s sleeve until he could see his wrist and the two white scars that were stationed there. Gabriel sucked in a breath, he knew what Ryan was going to ask and was sure that he wasn’t going to be able hold his emotional resolve together for that conversation.
“Why?”
Gabriel wasn’t looking at Ryan so he couldn’t see the tears in his friend’s eyes.
“I...it was a long time ago.”
“It wasn’t that long ago,” Ryan said. “Gabriel, why would you do that? Why would you even think about trying that?”
“I don’t know!” Gabriel snapped. It came out with more vehemence than Gabriel intended. However, he was on the verge of losing his emotional control and as much as he liked Ryan, as close as they had become, he wasn’t sure that he wanted to break down in tears in front of him. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down.
“I’m sorry,” Gabriel said, taking another deep breath. “I was lonely, extremely lonely. There was no one to talk to, no one to hang out with and worst off everyone treated me like I had some horrible disease.”
Gabriel took a deep ragged breath, trying to get his words out before he completely lost it. “After I came out I could see a look of disappointment in my parent’s eyes...you know, like they had lost a son or something...like it somehow changed me.”
“They were worried about you,” Ryan nodded. “Not everyone in this world can handle someone being different, I mean just look at David. Guy’s a caveman but there are a lot people out there like him.”
“I just wanted to make them proud of me,” Gabriel sniffled. “I just wanted to be their son. I just wanted to have friends that cared about me, hell Teddy didn’t even have the decency to tell me our friendship was over. That as the worst part, just being ignored like you never existed.”
“We all care about you,” Ryan said.
And with those words the emotional damn broke. He started crying, unable to hold back the emotions that came with talking about his attempt to take his own life. He was sure that the past twenty four hours at the hands of Sainte-Pierre probably didn’t help is already fragile emotional state. He felt exposed and vulnerable all over again and that was not a feeling that he enjoyed.
Ryan wrapped his arms around the form of his crying friend, whose body was now racked with sobs. He guided him back to the couch and helped him sit down, and kept his arm around Gabriel and let him cry. He didn’t know what to say, although he imagined that right now, Gabriel didn’t really want him to say anything. The only thing that he could do was remind him that he was safe and that he was with a friend.
“My life would be very different without you,” Ryan said, after a few minutes. “You’re one of my best friends; I want you to promise me something.”
Gabriel had calmed down somewhat now, though he was still crying.
“If you ever feel that way again talk to someone.”
Gabriel nodded.
“I mean it,” Ryan said, forcing Gabriel to look him in the eyes. “Talk to me, Tony, Cody, anyone...but please don’t ever think that your life doesn’t matter. It matters to me...to all of us. I want my kids to know who you are. I love you man, you know that right?”
“I know and I will,” Gabriel said his voice low. “I promise.”
They sat in silence for another few moments, staring at the flickering fire. It was then that Ryan noticed that Gabriel had fallen asleep, his breathing returning back to a nice steady rhythm. He gently eased Gabriel off his shoulder and laid him down on the couch, grabbing a blanket to cover him up.
“You two should both be in bed.”
Ryan looked up to see Elise walk in the room. She got instantly concerned when she saw that his eyes were red.
“Oh my god, are you ok?” Elise asked.
“I’m fine,” Ryan nodded. He took a deep breath and composed himself before talking again. “I...well...I asked Gabriel about his scars.”
“Oh Ryan,” Elise said, kneeling down next to him.
“I wanted him know that he had something to live for,” Ryan went on. “That he had people that loved him and wanted him to succeed in life. I wasn’t really prepared for all the emotional stuff I guess.”
“You asked him about him killing himself, what did you think was going to happen?” Elise asked, half smiling. She gently stroked the side of his face, causing Ryan to have to suppress a shiver.
“You’re right,” Ryan sighed. “I should have known better. I just...I just think of everything that he’d be missing out on if he had gone through with it. We wouldn’t have gotten a chance to get to know him and now part of me feels guilty for not stepping in earlier at school before he became a Guardian.”
“It’s not your fault,” Elise soothed, brushing a hand through his hair. “You didn’t know how much pain he was in. You can’t read the minds of everyone you know. Don’t dwell on that fact, he’s here now and he’s safe.”
“I didn’t need to read their minds,” Ryan snapped. “I could see what David and everyone else was doing every single day and I still stood by and did nothing! Here, I am supposed to be some righteous defender of man and I let him get kicked around like that.”
“So did everyone else. You don’t see Tony or Everett beating themselves up over this do you? Cody couldn’t do anything to risk blowing his cover and Ethan...well its Ethan. You said that he was strong and he is, maybe this was the fates way of making sure that he could survive Sainte-Pierre.”
Ryan shook his head, swallowing the urge to continue beating himself up over it. If there was one thing that he was good at, it was not giving himself enough credit and underestimating himself as well. There wasn’t anything that he could do about how David and the rest of the school treated Gabriel, all he could do now was be a friend.
“Do you think that this will be enough to make
Ethan see that we need Anton?” Ryan asked.
“I think if he doesn’t then he’s going to have to get his ass kicked,” Elise grunted. “Taking Gabriel crossed a line and if the allies of Sainte-Pierre don’t want to be an enemy of the Guardian’s then they’ll talk.”
Ryan sighed again. “I hope that you’re right about that. You know how stubborn Ethan can be when it comes to things, especially when it comes to thinks about Anton.”
“What happened to Dominic was scary and horrible. But eventually, Ethan has to see past that.”
Elise got up and stood behind Ryan and slowly started massaging his shoulders. Her hands worked the knotted muscles, using her enhanced strength to push through the protesting tissue. Her administrations elicited a deep growl from Ryan’s throat, an almost predatory noise that snapped him back to reality. He could smell her perfume; feel the heat coming off her skin, the gentle breeze of her breath against the nape of his neck...
What Elise was doing felt good, almost too good. He was on the verge of wanting to cross a line that he knew he shouldn’t cross. If he didn’t get himself out of his current situation then he knew that he was going to regret, at least in the morning, whatever happened next. He blushed, his face flooding with warmth. He needed to get control of himself.
He wasn’t sure if it was the fatigue of battle or the emotional rollercoaster that he was on ever since Gabriel had gone missing but whatever it was it was severally hampering his ability keep himself in check. He knew he was developing feelings for her but depth and intensity of those feelings was just now starting to become clear.
He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anyone. And he wanted her on every level. Ryan shook his head and he could feel himself tensing up even more each time that he touched her.
“You’re tense,” Elise frowned. “Really tense, you should be in bed.”
“Um, yeah I suppose I should.”
Ryan stood up, letting Elise’s hands fall away from his shoulders.
“Thanks though,” Ryan smiled. “I mean for the massage.”
“You didn’t really relax all that much,” Elise frowned.
“Thanks anyway.”
Ryan was hoping that didn’t sound as lame as he thought it did.
“Alright,” Elise nodded. “I better head home.”
Ryan nodded and watched her go.
“Hey sleeping beauty,” Ryan said, shaking Gabriel’s shoulder. “Come on, bed time.”
“You didn’t even buy me dinner first,” Gabriel groggily said.
“Oh har har.”
Gabriel awoke the next morning a pounding headache. He swung his legs out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. He knew that they would have convinced his parents that he was staying at Ryan’s, which was the truth, although they would have left out the part where they mentioned the capture by a demon and the whole torture bit. There was a knock at the bedroom door just as Gabriel started to brush his teeth.
“Come in.”
Ryan entered and did a double take when he saw Gabriel up and moving around.
“Hey, how ya feeling?”
“Sore,” Gabriel answered. “And a little bit of a headache.”
Ryan shrugged. “To be expected after what you went through.”
“I didn’t do anything embarrassing last night did I?”
“You mean like hanging onto me and crying like a baby,” Ryan asked, with a crooked grin on his face.
“Yeah,” Gabriel winced. “Like that.”
“It’s ok,” Ryan said, locking onto Gabriel with those deep brown orbs. “I was glad I could be there for you. I meant what I said too, you need anything all you have to do is call.”
“Thanks,” Gabriel sighed. “Where is everyone else?”
“Everett and Marissa are still back at Aegis trying to track down our mole.”
Gabriel walked slowly to the dresser where he kept a lot of spare clothes before going back into the bathroom to change. The soreness and stiffness were still there but with movement already starting to fade. “Sainte-Pierre mentioned something to me about having someone on the inside of the Guardians. Honestly, I didn’t think that was possible. And they don’t have any clue as to who it could be?” Gabriel asked, emerging from the bathroom.
“So far everyone has come up clean,” Ryan answered. “Are you sure that you should be out of bed.”
“I’m fine,” Gabriel insisted. “Come on, let’s get to Aegis.”
“We don’t have to go in just yet,” Ryan cautioned.
Gabriel had never been on this side of the fence, with someone so concerned that he take it easy. It was both refreshing and irritating at the same time.
“Ryan,” Gabriel smiled. “I’m fine, really.”
“Look, after everything that you went through no one would blame you for wanting to sit this round out.”
“I’m not,” Gabriel said, shaking his head. “I’m mad as hell and if we don’t stop this goon and his partner who knows what kind of damage they are going to cause. I’m ready to go, really.”
Ryan opened his mouth, ready to object but saw the look on Gabriel’s face, a look of grim determination had appeared ever since he returned from his imprisonment with Sainte-Pierre.
“Ok,” Ryan relented. “But I drive and as soon as we get there you go right to medical and get yourself checked out.”
“I think we established that I am not going to fall over dead or anything,” Gabriel sighed. “But thanks for your concern.”
Gabriel finished getting ready and they headed downstairs to Ryan’s truck. Ryan opened the door and Gabriel just stared at him.
“You’re still going to have to buy me dinner first,” Gabriel chided, rising eyebrow.
“Oh shut up.”
“Yes sir.”
Ryan drove per his insistence, though not for lack of trying on Gabriel’s part. They arrived about twenty minutes later at Aegis and headed to the command center.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Ryan asked.
“Nope,” Gabriel said, as they glided past the infirmary.
“You said you would.”
“And I am fine,” Gabriel. “Really man, I promise.”
“But...”
Gabriel shot Ryan an annoyed look.
“Ok, fine,” Ryan sighed. “You start feeling bad you march your ass down there and get checked out, deal?”
“Deal,” Gabriel nodded, as they walked into the command center.
“Good to see you mate,” Cody beamed, as they entered the command center. “Feeling better?”
“Just fine,” Gabriel smiled. “Thanks for coming after me, I mean that.”
“No worries,” Cody said. “Glad to have you back.”
Everett was working at one of the terminals, the rest of the team were sitting at a smaller conference table located at the back of the room. Gabriel sat down in the chair that Cody had pulled out for him.
“We couldn’t leave you out there man,” Tony said, shaking his head. “You’re a teammate and a friend; Guardians don’t leave each other behind.”
Gabriel instantly thought of the story that Ryan had told him about what happened to Dominic. He stole a look at Ethan, who appeared to be unfazed by the whole situation. He continued fiddling with his phone.
“Thanks again,” Gabriel said. “Have you had any luck figuring out who the leak is or where Sainte-Pierre disappeared too?”
“No,” Marissa sighed. “On both fronts, Ethan I think that we are going to have to talk to Anton, otherwise we might not ever figure out what rock he crawled under.”
“Nope.”
With that comment, Ethan departed from the room.
“Can I go beat his head in?” Elise asked. “Please?”
“What did Sainte-Pierre want with you?” Cody asked. “I mean I assumed he took you for some other reason besides to have a chat.”
Gabriel nodded. “He told me that he was holding onto me for a partner.”
Everett looke
d up from the computer terminal that he was currently working at. “A partner? Sainte-Pierre doesn’t work with partners, cuts into his profits too much.”
“That’s what he said,” Gabriel shrugged. “He didn’t really offer up his master plan like they do in movies.”
“Clearly he missed villain one-o-one,” Elise sighed. “That still doesn’t help us, we’re going to have to beat Ethan into submission if we want him to agree to going to Anton for help.”
“There was something else too,” Gabriel said, chewing on his lip. He wasn’t sure what kind of reaction that he would get with what he was about to reveal but after they risked their lives, they deserved to know the truth.
“Well, don’t leave us in suspense,” Marissa remarked. “Out with it.”
“He said the Guardians were hiding something, secrets that he and his partner were going to expose to the rest of the world.”
“What secrets could he be talking about?” Tony asked. “And who is this partner?”
Gabriel just shrugged. He had given them all the information that he had; admittedly it seemed to create more questions than answers.
“Granted, I don’t know a lot about Guardian history but could there be any truth to what he is talking about?” Gabriel asked.
“Doubtful,” Marissa said. “The Guardians have always been the good guys.”
“Aye,” Cody agreed. “But let’s not forget that sometimes our leaders really do think that the ends justify the means.”
“You can’t be suggesting that Sainte-Pierre is right?”
“He seemed pretty adamant that the Guardians were corrupt,” Gabriel continued. “And that they are hiding something.”
“Well that makes no bloody sense,” Cody grumbled. “He’s just cheesed off he got his arse handed to him and lost a lot of valuable stuff.”
“I agree with Cody,” Marissa said, shaking her head. “The Guardians aren’t corrupt, at least not as a whole.”
“Are we sure about that?” Tony asked. All heads around the table turned toward him. “First someone leaks some of our most advanced technology specs to him, and then they tell him where to find Gabriel. You can’t tell me that doesn’t sound a little corrupt.”
The Guardian Chronicles 2: Dark Horizon Page 24
