by Redrae Gunn
“Yes?” Tayen said answering the phone.
“Damien will be downstairs in five minutes,” Caleb said, and he heard Tayen’s breath stick in her throat. “David is sending you info on what you should wear.” Caleb waited.
“I don’t want to go anywhere with Damien,” Tayen said.
“He’s one of my two best friends, and he will keep you safe,” Caleb said.
“Safe?” Tayen asked.
“Live entertainment,” Caleb said and waited again.
“Oh. Voyeuristic, live entertainment?” Tayen asked and held her breath.
“Yes,” Caleb replied. “You will need to wear your collar and leash. Damien also will not permit any disrespect, so don’t disrespect me.”
“Caleb?” Tayen whispered.
“Yes, papoose?”
“I don’t want to do this,” Tayen whispered still, her voice failing.
“Sometimes, what we want and what we need are two very different things,” Caleb replied and waited. “Do this for me. You will feel better. Call me when you are back home.”
When there was only silence, Caleb prompted, “Yes, Master.”
Tayen licked her lips, trying to get moisture into her mouth. “Yes, Master.” Her breath stopped in her throat again. “Thank you, Master, for recognizing my need. I will call you.”
Caleb felt his chest tighten as he disconnected the call. Had anyone ever thanked him so openly and honestly? He could almost feel the sexual frustration in Tayen’s voice. How out of tune with her body and needs was she? Or had she just learned to suppress her needs and was just now starting to know when she felt a need?
Chapter 14
Tayen called Caleb. Then she called David. Damien called Caleb.
“She’s smart, Caleb,” Damien said, “funny, honest, and she has eyes on that damn machine fucking room. She was respectful, perfectly submissive, stayed right next to me, but I did have to make her go to the floor after the scene in the room was done. She needed to unwind. She was coiled like a rattlesnake, and you were right, touching her hair is calming to her. I only touched the top of her head, but it helped her.”
Damien explained that they had watched the scene in the “machine room” and another where a submissive was being lightly flogged.
“She has a pain curiosity,” Damien admitted and sighed. “I really don’t think she feels pain like a normal girl does. You know how some girls need that pain to release emotions? Well, I doubt that even I could get her to that point. She asks questions about pain in such a way that it makes me think she has either never experienced real pain, or she has experienced it and it’s a survivor mode thing. She may have buried that pain so deep that she doesn’t feel pain anymore. That’s my opinion. Take it as you will.
“Anyway, I see a friendship growing between the two of us, because I can only see her as a friend, definitely not a submissive for me. I’ll be her escort though if you need one for her,” Damien said, paused, and then added one last thing. “She doesn’t like groups of women. For some reason they are a major stressor. That is probably something for you to explore.”
“I noticed that, too,” Caleb said rubbing his jaw. He would be home in a week. Hopefully the both of them would survive until then. Caleb hung up with Damien. His friends were still there for him. He looked at his phone and almost on command it rang. It was Tayen.
“Papoose,” Caleb acknowledged.
“You aren’t upset are you?” When she heard Caleb sigh she continued, “You were right. I didn’t realize that was exactly what I needed.”
“So”—Caleb paused—“is there a problem?”
“A little, kind of, yes,” Tayen admitted. Caleb’s gut clenched as he wondered what problem she could have encountered. “How come I was okay with being alone before you and then I meet you and less than a week without you I am climbing the walls? I don’t understand this.”
Caleb’s stomach muscles unclenched as he smiled and chuckled. “Tayen, you said that you had never been dominated sexually. Now that it has happened I don’t think you can go back to the way it was. You will find ways to cope, but right now you, as well as I, are suffering from a minor case of withdrawal.”
“Like a drug?” Tayen scoffed.
“Yes,” Caleb affirmed his previous statement.
“Oh,” Tayen said and paused, thankful that Caleb gave her a moment to think about this assessment of her emotions. “You are suffering, too?”
“I am.”
“Oh,” she whispered. “How do you deal with it?”
“I remind myself that I will have you again,” Caleb replied with certainty, “and that you will do exactly what I want and give me exactly what I need.”
“What did I do wrong then?” Tayen asked. “I reminded myself of that as well.”
“You forgot to understand that I would give you what you needed as well,” Caleb replied simply.
“Oh,” Tayen whispered as she thought about that statement.
“Tayen?”
“Yes, sir?”
“I will give you what you need,” Caleb said. His voice was forceful and full of promise.
“I didn’t mean to forget,” Tayen said softly as her pussy clenched at his words. “I just didn’t know that I should know that. I’m…”
“Don’t apologize for what you didn’t know,” Caleb said with the same firmness. “Tayen, when you put your trust in me as your Dom, I knew that there would be small problems like this. You have placed your trust in me, because I want that. In return, I will not betray that trust and I will take care of you.”
“Thank you,” Tayen said seriously and then she started to laugh. “Could you have picked anyone better to escort me? I didn’t think of that until now. Steve would’ve scared the bejeezes out of me, but Damien just scared the bejeezes out of everyone else. I was completely at ease with him, and I was very respectful by the way. I didn’t disappoint you, Master.”
Caleb’s balls tried to jump into his stomach as she said “Master.” He loved her assessment of his protectiveness. It was exactly the reason that he had chosen Damien to be her escort. Anyone else would have been overwhelming. Damien, given his likes, would have been the least intimidating Dom, for Tayen, in the building.
“Go to sleep now, my beautiful papoose,” Caleb said. “You’re going to need your rest for when I return.”
“As you command,” Tayen replied. “Good night, Caleb.”
Caleb’s chest tightened again as he said good night. He needed to space these concerts better. There was no way he wanted to be away from her longer than a few days ever again. As he fell asleep he had dreams of doing a scene with Tayen in the “machine room,” and her complete surrender to be fucked in front of a crowd, exactly as he wanted her to be fucked.
Caleb woke up sweating and sticky. He groaned when he realized he’d actually had a wet dream, something he hadn’t experienced since high school. He showered, balled the hotel sheets into a bundle, and curled up on the sofa. Caleb finally willed himself to either jack off more or take Tayen with him. This distance was killing him. The next morning in the shower he made sure he jacked off. It eased some of the tension, but he still felt the storm just beyond the horizon.
* * * *
For the next three days in a row, Tayen made her date with BOB. Caleb was right, it wasn’t the same. She couldn’t go back. She checked out her Kink.com membership and only felt frustration. She finally decided that getting drunk and adding more to her ceiling was the best way to deal with her situation. When she wore that out, mid-week, she started a new batch of candles called “TAY’EN.”
The scent was a mixture of sage, patchouli, chamomile, and her secret ingredients, a hint of tobacco flower combined with a hint of dragon’s blood. The best dragon’s blood was a scent that she could only get from a small shop in the Canary Islands. It came directly from the Draceana draco, or drago tree. Tayen paid a small fortune for the oil, but the drops were potent and did their job in the candles.
Meri came into Wild Hearts early Thursday morning and nearly cried. She went back into the room where Tayen was melting wax and pouring it into large glasses.
“Where did you find this recipe?” Meri asked.
“It’s my own,” Tayen replied as she moved the glass to the cooling rack with gloved hands.
“No,” Meri said. “Where did you find this smell? You’ve encountered it before. Where have you smelled it?
“My dad liked to smoke, and we grew the sage and chamomile.” Tayen smiled remembering her mom’s garden. “The patchouli I added because it reminds me of campfires that the people would have, and I add my secret ingredient because it’s the best.”
“Dragon’s blood,” Meri said.
Tayen nodded her head and then put a finger to her lips. Meri made a sign of locking her lips and throwing away the key. Tayen grinned at her.
* * * *
David came home on Wednesday evening. Tayen was pissy, and he left her alone for as long as he could, and then he called her downstairs. The house was clean, her errands were run, there was nothing in the world that could possibly be bothering her, but she was really in a funk.
David pointed at the floor, and Tayen kneeled gracefully, almost thankfully, as David heated up their dinner. He started a movie in the living room, one of her favorites, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. David motioned for her to follow him, which she did without hesitation.
David pointed for Tayen to kneel, and she did. He alternated in feeding her and himself for the first hour of the movie.
Tayen’s head rose, and she stretched her legs. She was about to lean her head against David’s thigh when a key in the locked front door caught her attention.
“Hello?” Caleb called.
Tayen shrieked, held both hands above her head in “rock-on” symbols as she hurdled the sofa in a beeline for Caleb. As Tayen wrapped her arms around his neck Caleb scooped her off the floor and kissed her forcefully.
“We will be at my place tonight,” Caleb whispered to Tayen. Then he set her on her feet and went in to speak with David. Tayen couldn’t stay by the door, and she followed Caleb into the living room. She helped David clean up the plates as the three of them headed to the kitchen.
David and Caleb looked at Tayen. She was grinning ear to ear, smiling at both of them. She waved and then turned to the sink and rinsed the dishes. Caleb and David looked at each other and started laughing. Tayen was the only one in the room who had everything she needed. Caleb needed to lose the trust issue, David needed Sean for sexual domination, but Tayen needed nothing at the moment, and her happiness at having it all was definitely contagious.
“I’m probably going to steal her for tomorrow, too,” Caleb said to David. David sighed but nodded his head. He knew this would happen. He would be fine. His best friend needed her time in the sun.
“Do you want to pick out her outfit?” David asked.
“She won’t need one,” Caleb replied, his jaw clenching firmly as he thought about all the things he could do with Tayen in the next twenty-four hours.
* * * *
Tayen woke the next morning and felt stiffness in her muscles. She loosened herself from Caleb’s solid grip and headed to the bathroom to take care of business. She caught her nude reflection in the mirror and grimaced. Four lines of bruises were on each pelvic bone. She turned around and found the thumbprint starting to bruise on her ass. She sighed and touched each mark, feeling a mild ache, but no exquisite pain.
Then Tayen grinned, remembering how hard Caleb had taken her. First on her back, legs tied to her wrists and then her wrists secured to the iron headboard. Then wearing a condom he’d taken her ass without his piercing, while playing with her clit. That had been the most confusing and conflicting orgasm she had ever had.
Caleb was large, and she’d never been taken there before. She smiled as she remembered how Caleb had groaned as her tightening muscles squeezed his cock. But Caleb hadn’t been done there. He’d discarded the condom and positioned her on her hands and knees, taking her from behind, hitting so far and so deep inside of her pussy that she had cried out as her orgasm joined his. Caleb’s roar of satisfaction had echoed through the room with Tayen’s breathy panting, and then they had fallen asleep with him softening, still inside of her.
Tayen traced the bruises again knowing that she had gotten them from the last orgasm, the one on her hands and knees. The one that had her sinking into the bed, like a ton of bricks with Caleb falling on top of her. Their sweat combined with the smells of sex, and it was such a heady scent. Tayen was considering trying to find a scent that smelled like that combination of pheromones to put into her candles.
Her cell phone rang and it was Damien asking her to come to the club to review her application. She kissed Caleb, telling him where she would be and went to her place to shower and change. She pulled on the leathers since David hadn’t picked out any clothes and left on the bike.
* * * *
Tayen walked into Steve’s office, and Damien sat very close to her. Damien explained that instead of just receiving her clean bill of health from her doctor, they had received her first office visit note and follow-up office note.
Tayen sat on the sofa and looked at the release of records she had signed. It clearly stated that both The Cave and Caleb were to receive her STD lab results only. David was to get the office note and addendum.
“What note did David get?” Tayen asked.
“The same ones we received,” Casey said softly.
“And?” Tayen asked.
“David is on his way here,” Steve replied.
“And Caleb?” Tayen whispered.
“He’s not answering yet,” Steve said shaking his head. “I’ll keep trying.”
“It’s okay,” Tayen replied as she looked at the notes. “I’ll try. I needed to explain anyway, I just didn’t want to do it over the phone. The addendum kind of explains anyway.”
Tayen tried to appear relaxed as she stood and called Caleb. Inside she was freaking out. That note and addendum revealed some very personal information about her. Things that she had avoided telling even David. She sighed. This was the time to go balls to the wall.
Caleb had heard Tayen tell him that she needed to go to The Cave for her application review. He showered and then had gone through his mail. A letter from Tayen’s doctor had piqued his curiosity, and he opened it.
Tayen Lone Wolf is a Native American female appearing her stated age who comes into the clinic today for her annual exam, STD check, and routine bloodwork. Her new patient paperwork has been completed, reviewed, and is significant for history of surgery, a previous partner with high risk sexual behavior, and though the patient is of child-bearing age she has no previous pregnancies and is not on birth control.
Two sentences into the report and Caleb crushed the note in his hands, his heart pounding. She had abused his trust, lied, and was no better than Maria. Tayen wasn’t on birth control, though she had said that she was more than capable of taking care of that. Once again, Caleb felt trapped. More that just feeling trapped, he felt as if his heart had just been ripped from his chest.
He alternated punching the sofa cushions and tearing the note into smaller and smaller pieces. When the note was finally reduced to shreds he let a guttural roar escape from his throat. The sound reverberated through his home. He collapsed on the sofa, held his head in his hands, and stared at the paper on the floor. The torn paper resembled his shattered heart.
Caleb rose from the sofa as he heard his cell phone ringing upstairs. He went to the bedroom, his sadness replaced by anger as he saw that it was Tayen calling.
“I got the doctor’s note, Tayen,” Caleb’s voice was strained.
“And?” Tayen asked.
“You lied,” Caleb replied.
Tayen’s heart felt like it had stopped beating. She hadn’t lied. She had told the truth to her doctor. What could she have lied about? She clutched at the zipper on
her leather vest and twisted it into her fist.
“I didn’t…” Tayen started, choking on the lump in her throat.
“You did,” Caleb said with finality. “I asked you to never lie.”
“I told you I wouldn’t.” Tayen fell to her knees still clutching at her heart. This hurt. This was pain that she could feel. This was agony.
“But you did,” Caleb looked over the balcony into the living room and saw the pieces of paper. “Clown.”
Tayen looked at her phone as it beeped and went black. She rubbed at her chest as she felt her clothing constricting her breath. Run. Tayen tried to control her breathing, but her processor had slowed and she was going into survival mode because of the acute pain in her chest. Run. Run or you are going to die. Run.
“What does ‘clown’ mean?” Damien asked firmly.
Tayen blinked the tears out of her eyes and steadied her pulse. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed to the breaking point, but she forced it to be steady as she answered Damien’s question.
“Caleb and I have had issues in our past. I have my safe words, just like the club, red, yellow, and green.” Tayen took a slow, deep breath and continued.
“I don’t like clowns, at all. I’m afraid of them actually, so the word ‘clown,’ was for both of us an ‘end to all things.’ I just didn’t expect him to be the one to say it.” Tayen looked at the floor for a moment. “I didn’t think I did anything wrong. I have been honest.”
“Caleb said ‘clown’ before you. What does that mean to you?” Damien asked softly.
“It means that Caleb hasn’t trusted me, that he is out of his mind, crazy as a…” Tayen trailed off and smiled sadly. “The only thing that says…is that I have faced my fears and he hasn’t. It means that I needed this so badly, wanted this too much, and in the light of my failure, which is still oblivious to me, I’m going with self-preservation, and running for the fucking hills.”
