“After high school, my parents wanted me to go to college and work part-time at my dad’s studio. Taking family photos, graduation shots, baby pictures.” Even after all that time, just thinking about being trapped in that small studio—both physically and creatively stuck—was enough to make Chance want to take off at a dead run. “Instead I took off for LA, and I never looked back.”
“And you have an incredible career. You can’t tell me your parents aren’t proud of the man—the photojournalist—you’ve become.”
“I always thought so until this happened,” he said, stretching out his right leg and still feeling the reminders of the damage done by the explosion in the strain in the joint and muscles. “Until I woke up in the hospital after my last surgery and overheard my parents talking about how it might be better if I never fully regained use of my leg again.”
“Oh, Chance...”
Just saying the words out loud, he was taken back to that moment. To the sterile white walls, the beeping of the machines, the sharp, antiseptic smell of the recovery room. His parents hadn’t realized he was awake, and in truth, he hadn’t been. Drifting in and out of consciousness, but aware of enough to know he hadn’t misunderstood any of what he heard.
“This is my life, the career I’ve always wanted. The one I dreamed about since I was a kid and that they would actually be glad if I were injured badly enough to have to give it up...” His throat burned, searing all the way down as he swallowed the words he couldn’t bring himself to say.
“Chance, they’re your parents.” Her gentle blue-gray gaze pleaded with him as she said, “They love you—”
“Love,” he bit out roughly. “If that’s love, I don’t want any part of it.”
Chapter Thirteen
If that’s love, I don’t want any part of it.
At the bitterness slicing through Chance’s voice and straight to her heart, Alexa could have cried. Not for herself, but for him. Beneath the anger, the rejection, she heard the pain. How often as a child had she wondered what more she could have done? If only she’d been smarter, funnier, more interesting, then maybe her parents would have stayed. Maybe they would have lived.
The situation wasn’t exactly the same. Her parents hadn’t loved her enough to stay. Chance’s parents loved him too much to let him go. But too much or not enough, that love wasn’t unconditional.
She couldn’t deny that she understood the fear and the longing in his parents’ desire to keep their son safe. As much as she admired his talent, his courage, his convictions, she hated the thought of him putting his life in danger.
She’d already felt a fraction of what it would be like to lose him when she heard the news reports. But that was before she’d truly gotten to know him beyond the sexy, confident man she’d had such an entirely out-of-character fling with. She’d seen his moments of doubt and vulnerability, how the horrors of what he’d witnessed through his lens haunted him. She’d seen him completely in over his head with little Kyle and loving every minute of it.
She’d seen the kind of man—the kind of husband, the kind of father—he could be, and she didn’t know how to protect herself from that Chance McClaren.
But then she thought of their weekend together. How being with Chance had made her feel reckless, wild and unafraid. If making love had made her brave enough to take a chance for a weekend, was it possible that loving him with her whole heart might make her strong enough to take a chance on the love of a lifetime?
He pushed away from the steps, his long strides carrying him a few yards before he stopped short. His tall, broad-shouldered form was little more than a shadowed silhouette, but tension radiated from his unnatural stillness. Alexa sensed the slightest movement might send him running. She had an idea of what might make him stay if she had the courage to be the woman she was always meant to be.
“It’s getting cold,” he said abruptly. “I’ll walk you back to the cottage.”
Slowly lowering her feet to the ground, she stood and walked over to his side. She ran a hand down his arm, waiting until his muscles relaxed to link her fingers with his. They were silent on the walk back, but the slow pace did little to ease the raw energy building inside him.
Though she had given in to his insistence that she sleep in the bedroom, the cottage was small. The thin wall between them did little to block out the sound of his restless nights, and he was always gone in the morning when she woke. More than once she’d slipped from the bed in the middle of the night to stand by the door, afraid to turn the knob. Knowing if she did, she wouldn’t have been inviting Chance into the bedroom, but into her heart.
He stopped on the porch when she tried to draw him inside. “I’m going to go clean up the gazebo. I’ll be back later.”
Her heart pounding, Alexa swallowed. “Chance?”
He half turned back to her as if caught in a moment of indecision. Stay...or go?
“You asked me my first morning here how I slept the night before. I lied. The truth is, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since the last time you were in my bed.” Holding his gaze as she repeated him word for word, she added, “I can’t close my eyes without imagining you there.”
His eyes widened, and this time when he ran, it was back to her. His long strides ate up the distance, his limp almost imperceptible, and her heart trembled a little at what that would mean in the near future. But she didn’t want to think about that now. And then Chance kissed her, and she didn’t want to think about anything. Not the past or the future. Nothing but the swirling, impatient passion of the present.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him tight as he backed her toward the cottage. The solid muscle contrasted with the soft cotton shirt, and she couldn’t get enough, would never get enough.
He fumbled with the doorknob as if not wanting to let her go for more than a second, and she wasn’t sure how they made it to the bedroom. By the time they crossed the threshold, she had already stripped off his shirt, laying claim to the smooth skin of his shoulders and his hair-roughened chest.
He helped pull her sweater over her head, the skirt down her hips, and then he froze. A split second of uncertainty washed over Alexa, leaving her feeling, well, exposed in nothing but her black lace bra and panties. But then she realized what had captured his attention as his gaze locked on the swell of her belly, the low-cut lace flaunting the roundness.
A brief hesitation held them both spellbound. And then Chance stroked his fingers over her stomach. Her muscles trembled at the light touch, but it was the look of amazement that shook her to her soul. “Chance...” Her voice broke, and Alexa knew her heart might soon follow, but she had no choice. She was falling in love with him.
He swallowed hard and then lifted his gaze to hers. “Alexa, I have a confession to make...” Despite the weighted moment and the seriousness of his words, a teasing light entered his eyes. “You’re not gonna get a good night sleep with me in your bed tonight.”
“Something tells me you’ll make it up to me. And besides,” she said with a tempting, tender smile as she pressed his palm to her belly and their baby, “it’s not like you can get me more pregnant.”
His eyes glowed as he lowered his head and brushed his mouth across hers. Alexa reveled in a hint of the dessert that tasted a hundred times richer on his lips than it had on the fork.
But unlike a sweet tooth, which could be sated, every kiss made Alexa’s hunger grow. She was dizzy and aching by the time Chance brushed aside the bit of lace undergarments, then stepped away to strip off the rest of his clothes. Eager to be back in his embrace, she threw her arms around his broad shoulders as he lowered her to the bed.
Bracing his weight above her, he asked, “Is this...okay?”
His caring and concern touched her heart as thoroughly and powerfully as his caresses touched her body. “More than okay,” she reassured him with a breathless g
asp. “It’s perfect.”
When he lowered himself between her thighs, thrusting inside, she felt whole. And when he took her in his arms, it was like coming home. Chance rocked against her, each shallow thrust striking sparks of desire inside and out. Pleasure spiraled out of control, cresting and breaking. Alexa clung to him, wrapping her limbs around him as he shuddered and rode his own wave of release.
Gradually the rhythm rippling their bodies slowed, then stopped, but still Alexa refused to let go, wanting the moment to last. Wanting to hold on tight...and to never have to let go.
* * *
Years ago, Chance had brought Lisette home to Medford to meet his family. She’d acted as though his hometown and the entire state of Oregon, for that matter, was some kind of untamed wilderness. He could only imagine how she would have dismissed the tiny, quaint town of Clearville in a single glance.
Only a few weeks ago, he would have thought Alexa might do the same, but the more time they spent together, the more he realized how different she was from his ex. In a short amount of time, she’d already become a part of his sister’s inner circle of friends. Sharing ideas with Rory on decorating the hotel for the upcoming holidays. Meeting with Lindsay to discuss events planned by the chamber of commerce. Planning to talk with Theresa and Jarrett Deeks about fund-raising ideas for the couple’s horse rescue.
Hell, she fit in better than he did.
From the orchard where visitors could pick their own apples, to the horse-drawn carriage rides through town, to the dozens of tiny shops along Main Street, she lived it all with a wide-eyed enjoyment that grabbed hold of his heart and wouldn’t let go.
Showing her around the town brought back memories of how much he loved coming to Clearville as a kid. The hours he’d spent exploring everything from the rugged coastline to the towering redwoods to the acres of farmland. And now, seeing it all again as an adult with a photographer’s eye...
“I told you,” Alexa had said at one point as they walked along the beach, her blue-gray eyes laughing at him as she lifted a hand to keep her blond hair from blowing in the ocean breeze. She wore a cream-colored sweater over a pale-blue-and-white-striped dress, the soft material molding to the curves of her breasts and the curve of their baby.
“What?”
“That you should have brought your camera with you. You’re dying to capture all of this. Your index finger has been twitching all afternoon,” she teased.
“It has not,” he argued, even though she was right. Though he’d never given serious thought to nature photography, with such vast and varied landscapes all around him, it was almost impossible not to try to line up the perfect shot in his mind’s eye.
But he’d refused to bring his camera.
Something was happening to him here. Something about his time in Clearville was softening his focus, changing the angle of his lens.
What had Alexa said when looking through the wedding pictures he’d taken?
Seeing these pictures makes me feel like I’m seeing the real you.
For so long he’d narrowed his gaze on the turbulent moments of life and human nature. Capturing a darkness too many people wanted to turn a blind eye to. His work was important, yet after such a short time around his family, around Alexa, he could feel himself losing his edge. He was relaxing, breathing easier, slowing down.
All fine and good for recovering from his injuries. But that kind of lax attitude could get him killed in the field. He couldn’t just expect to pick up his guard along with his camera before heading out to the next job.
Over the past half decade, he’d traveled an average of nine months out of the year. The grueling schedule was starting to pay off. His articles were gaining recognition; he was being offered more and more choice assignments. Could he really walk away from his career just as he was nearing the pinnacle he’d strived to reach for so long?
He didn’t have an answer to that question, and he was running out of time. His leg was getting stronger every day. His editor was expecting him to be on a plane by the end of the month to take an assignment he hadn’t told Alexa about yet. And Alexa was expecting—
Alexa was expecting his child and, he feared, more than he knew how to give.
Stepping closer, he watched her eyes widen with sensual awareness as he bent his head toward hers. “There’s something else I want to capture, and I’d rather not have a camera in my hands while I do this...”
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her then, the salt from the ocean air and pure seduction of her lips beneath her own wiping away any thoughts of leaving. “Or this...”
Alexa’s startled laugh turned into a playful scream as he scooped her up into his arms and charged toward the frigid surf.
* * *
“Thank you again for inviting me out to the ranch,” Alexa told Theresa Deeks as the two of them stood outside a corral, watching as Jarrett worked with one of the Rockin’ R’s horses.
Along with running the horse rescue, the Deekses offered rental cabins for tourists and visitors who wanted to stay outside of town. From what she could see, they had picked a prime location. Towering redwoods lined the surrounding acres, climbing toward the clouds overhead and extending to the mountains in the distance. A sense of peace filled the property, with the rustle of the wind in the trees and the whinny of a horse the only sounds.
Alexa wished she could grab hold of some of that peace for herself. The past few days with Chance had been some of the happiest of her life. She loved walking down Main Street with him, strolling through the Victorian shops the town was known for; holding his hand while they explored the grounds around Hillcrest; soaking up the sounds of the ocean as they combed the beach for seashells.
And the nights...she had no doubt about how much he wanted her when they made love or even in the quiet moments after when he would reach for her in his sleep.
On the outside, everything was...perfect. But beneath the surface, she sensed something was wrong. Little ripples of unease that she worried hid turbulent water below. Like that morning when she’d asked him to come to the ranch with her. Confidence had filled his sexy smile as he kissed her. “You’ve got this, Alexa. You don’t need me.”
Maybe she didn’t need him, but she wanted him to be with her...and she was very much afraid he already wanted to be somewhere else.
“I should be thanking you,” Theresa was saying. “The rodeo benefit was a first for us, and we’re thrilled with the results. The donations and the percentage of the take from the ticket sales were more than what we hoped for, but then trying to come up with the best way to use that money...” She shook her head, her dark ponytail swinging back and forth. “You wouldn’t think that would be a problem, but deciding how to spend the money was almost as daunting as not having the money to spend.”
Refocusing on her reason for going out to the ranch, Alexa said, “It’s always hard especially for a smaller rescue operation like the one you and Jarrett run here. Trying to figure out where your greatest need is, well, it’s like triage,” Alexa said. As a nurse, Theresa would be very familiar with the concept.
“That’s exactly what it is,” Theresa said, her eyes lighting in realization as the two of them walked back to the stables. “I can’t believe I never thought of it that way, but with the financial plan you came up with, I feel like I have a better handle on where to go from here. And I love the idea of an open house.”
In the past few months since the benefit, Jarrett and Theresa had already put some of the money raised to good use, making improvements to the stables, stocking up on feed and taking in more horses. “You’ve made some amazing changes already,” Alexa said. “From the way you described it, most of Clearville turned out for the rodeo. I’m sure people would love to see how you’ve put their donations to use, and it’s important to keep the rescue in the public eye. I know you’re hoping to make the rodeo an annual eve
nt, but you can’t rely on one fund-raiser to support the rescue for an entire year.”
As Theresa led the way into the stables, the two of them discussed contacting local businesses to see who might be willing to volunteer or donate food, entertainment and advertising for the event. Alexa figured the ranch and the horses themselves would be a huge draw. The sights and sounds of the stables were as unfamiliar as the rich, earthy scents of hay and horses, but she was fascinated by the beautiful animals eyeing her curiously from their stalls.
“I don’t believe my eyes!”
Startled by the sound of a feminine voice, Alexa turned to see a blonde smiling her delight as she walked down the concrete aisle between the stalls. “I swear that is the first designer outfit I have seen in the six months since I moved here!”
Not completely unprepared for the trip out to the Rockin’ R, Alexa had worn boots. But the black suede pair she’d matched with her black, wide-legged trousers and emerald green ribbed turtleneck sweater were nothing like Theresa’s or this woman’s sturdy, well-worn footwear.
She couldn’t help but smile, though, at the other woman’s enthusiasm. “Well, you seemed to have survived despite the lack of high-end fashion.”
“Never let it be said I can’t rock a pair of Wranglers,” she said with a full turn that would have done a model on a catwalk proud. Sighing as she ran her palms down the untucked red-and-black flannel shirt. “But I do miss the opportunity to dress up more often.”
“You have to excuse my sister-in-law. She’s still adjusting to life in a small town where you buy clothes at the same place where you pick up your groceries,” Theresa said with a smile at the younger woman.
Alexa hoped she managed to hide her surprise. She’d been charmed by Jarrett Deeks’s soft-spoken Midwestern drawl, as well as with his obvious devotion to his dark-haired wife. She wouldn’t have imagined that this petite blonde with corkscrew curls and outspoken sass would be related to him.
How to Be a Blissful Bride Page 15
