Woof, There It Is

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Woof, There It Is Page 9

by Deborah Gregory


  “You gotta make people like your stuff, that’s what you’re saying?” I ask, feeling better already.

  “Exactement croissant, darling,” Mom says, speaking what she calls Poodle French. “Be prepared for a battle, though, at first. When I opened the doors of my boutique, it was so slow, I thought I was gonna lose my leopard bloomers! And believe me, there were plenty of people waiting for me to fail—talking behind my back, heckling outside the store. But eventually the divas found their way down the yellow brick road, and they’ve been clamoring at the door of Toto in New York ever since!”

  “Thank you, Mom,” I say, giving her a hug. And then I ask her what is really bothering me. “Are you gonna keep on being our manager, Mom?”

  “Why, of course, Galleria—why wouldn’t I?” Much to my relief, she looks surprised that I asked.

  “Well, ’cuz it’s causing so much drama … and I know there’s been trouble with the store …”

  “Galleria,” Mom stops me. “Darling, please—I always do what I want to do, don’t I? Believe me, Toto in New York will survive and thrive. And someday, one day or another, I’m convinced that being the manager of the fabulous Cheetah Girls is gonna pay off—in full!”

  “You really think so, Mom?”

  “I know so,” she says. “Def Duck may come through and quack, or it may not. But your dreams are gonna come true in the jiggy jungle, Galleria. Who knows—maybe you’ll be the fashion queen of the Cheetah scene!”

  I giggle with pleasure and relief. “Am I really that different from other girls, Mom?” I ask.

  “I don’t know, Galleria,” Mom says seriously. “But I do know that you’re special—if that’s what you mean by different, then I guess so.”

  “I already got a few orders for the chokers in school,” I tell her excitedly, forgetting my anxiety attack already.

  “Really, darling?” Mom says smiling. “Do you need any help making them?”

  “No, Mom, I don’t!” I say, giggling, then pulling out the chokers we made last night. “We made these by ourselves. I didn’t even let Dad stick his nimble fingers into our situation.”

  “All right, darling, don’t get your bloomers in a bunch before lunch!”

  Flinging my backpack on my shoulder, I kiss Mom on the forehead, then thank her for her advice. “We’re gonna do what you said. We’ll wear the chokers ourselves, till other peeps are panting like puppies for them!”

  “Mm-hmm. I’m sure Toto will approve darling,” Mom says, throwing me a kiss good-bye.

  “Woof, there it is!” I giggle back, then run off to school.

  On the way there, I’m thinking about my snap—that would make a dope song, I think—“Woof, There It Is!”

  I whip out my Kitty Kat notebook, and start writing down a lyric. That’s how I flow.

  The Cheetah Girls may not have a record contract yet, and we may not have sold any chokers, either. But we’re never gonna stop layin’ down our global groove—not until the whole world comes pouncin’ at our door! “Woof, There It Is!”

  Woof, There It Is!

  It takes five

  To make the Cheetah Girls be,

  Ah, yeah, can’t you see

  That they’re rocking on a thing

  Called the M.I.C.

  The M.I.C., well that’s a microphone

  And when they rock it to the beat

  It’s rocked to the doggy bone.

  Woof, there it is!

  Woof, there it is!

  Woof, there it is!

  The Cheetah Girls Glossary

  Always looking out: Representing. Watching your back.

  As a matter of facto: It really really is true.

  The bill: the lineup of performers for the evening or event.

  Blacktress: Black movie star.

  Boho: Black bohemian.

  Bou bou fon fon: A bouffant hairstyle that’s piled so high, it had to be done twice!

  Cali: Los Angeles, California.

  Cheetah-certified: When something is so “for true,” you can take it to the bank, baby.

  Cheetah-licious: Fierce, fiercer, fiercest!

  The chillies: the creeps.

  Coiffed: Hair that has been blow-dryed, blow-torched, and fussed-over at the beauty parlor!

  Coinky-dinky: A coincidence.

  Cracking face: Saying something stupid. Looking stupid.

  Cruising altitude: When a plane has climbed the distance it needs to fly the friendly skies until it reaches its destination.

  Crustacean-looking slime: Something alien-like that pops out of noses or gets stuck in the corner of the mouth.

  Déjá vu: A feeling that you’ve been somewhere before.

  Exactement croissant: Poodle French for “That’s right.”

  Fabbie-poo: beyond fabulous

  Flexing fowl: Put your foot in your mouth.

  Fowl like a nearsighted owl: Wack.

  Flipping the script: Turning the tables, changing the subject.

  Freaked it: Rocked the mic.

  Fugly: Beyond ugly.

  Goospitating: Shrieking inside. Getting squeamish about something.

  Hooptie: a car

  Kadoodling: Wasting precious time. Angling for something.

  Kaflempt, Ka-flooeyed: Really really exasperated.

  La La Land: Los Angeles, California

  Let’s do an abracadabra: Let’s scram! Do a disappearing act.

  Madrina: Godmother, but not to be confused with fairy godmother who pays for everything!

  Manny-hanny: Manhattan

  Milks it for points: When you act cheesy just to get attention.

  Minnie-Mouse Minute: When time stands still for so long, you’re ka-flooeyed to the max!

  Okeydokey: A flim-flam situation.

  On the dis tip: Kinda playing the dozens, or “snapping” to and fro.

  On the d.l.: On the “down low,” or sneak tip.

  Op: Opportunity, which sometimes only knocks once!

  Out-kadoodled: Out-foxed by a cheetah.

  Paying the Boogie Man in full: When you’re more scared than when a vampire jumps out of a coffin and runs after you with his bloody arm!

  Rocked to the doggy bone: Performing to the max.

  Scemo: Bozo. Pronounced like “shame-o.”

  Schemer: Finagler. Player.

  Snaggled-tooth haggling: Bargaining someone down till you draw blood!

  Stinkeroon: When something stinks.

  Stop faking that you’re not quaking: Stop pretending that you’re not scared.

  Supa-packed itinerary: Busy schedule.

  Taking off points: Reading someone.

  Thank gooseness: Thank goodness.

  That’s so radikkio: Don’t try it, Miss Thingy. You know that’s ridiculous!

  That’s the deal-io, yo: That’s the way it is.

  The Twilight Zone: A weird place where weird things are happening and time seems to stand still.

  Venue: A location where acts will appear to perform.

  A visit to freak city: Flipping out from fear.

  Woof, there it is!: When you know you’ve rocked it to the doggy bone and you can step back and say, “How you like me now?”

  Work your spots till they’re dots!: Be your fiercest self until it’s time to close the lid on the coffin.

  Acknowledgments

  I have to give it up to the Jump at the Sun peeps here—Andrea Pinkney, Lisa Holton, and Ken Geist—for letting the Cheetah Girls run wild. Also, Anath Garber, the one person who helped me find my Cheetah Girl powers. And, Lita Richardson, the one person who now has my back in the jiggy jungle. Primo thanks to the cover girl Cheetahs: Arike, Brandi, Imani, Jeni, and Mia. And to all the Cheetah Girls around the globe: Get diggity with the growl power, baby!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Deborah Gregory earned her growl power as a diva-about-town contributing writer for Essence, Vibe, and More magazines. She has showed her spots on several talk shows, including Oprah, Ricki Lake, and Maury Povic
h. She lives in New York City with her pooch, Cappuccino, who is featured as the Cheetah Girls’ mascot, Toto.

  All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2000 by Deborah Gregory

  ISBN 978-1-4976-7718-0

  This edition published in 2014 by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc.

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  New York, NY 10014

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