by Karen Kirst
Instead of bringing satisfaction, his words tore at her. It’s for the best, a quiet voice reminded her. If they kept their distance from each other, she would be able to get through the next few days with her heart intact. Then she could return to her old life with no regrets.
Squaring her shoulders, she pushed the words through her lips. “Thank you, Evan. I knew you’d understand.”
He tugged the brim of his hat down low, his manner all cool formality. “We’d better start back. Mr. Talbot will be wondering what happened to that coffee I promised him.”
He motioned for her to go in front of him, which she did with reluctance. Conscious of his eyes upon her as they walked through the ankle-high grass, she kept her back stiff and shoulders straight. The exposed skin at her nape prickled as if his gaze was a physical touch. When the pond came into view, Juliana sprinted to reach the edge, leaving Evan behind.
She scanned the rocks and sandy soil for a long, smooth stick. When she’d found one, she crossed the field to where Rose and Joy sat on a blanket sharing a canteen of water.
“Do you know how to fry frogs’ legs?” Juliana asked.
Shading her eyes, Rose grinned up at Juliana. “I do. Do you think you can catch enough for all of us?”
“I could if Matt helped me. Would Mr. Talbot mind my borrowing him for an hour?”
The dark-haired woman’s head bobbed. “Henry’s fond of anything battered and fried. I can fry up some hush puppies, along with some taters and onions my sister insisted on giving us.”
“If I have time, I’ll hunt for berries to serve as dessert.”
“Sounds good to me.” Rose tickled the little girl’s tummy. “What do you say, Pumpkin?”
Joy nodded. “Yum!”
Juliana smiled down at them. “I’d better get started if we want to eat before dark.”
She found Matt in the shade of poplar trees, brushing down the horses. His father was nearby, sorting their supplies. Once she explained her plan, Henry gladly gave his permission. While Matt didn’t jump up and down for joy, she sensed his eagerness. He offered to use the knife his pa had given him to sharpen their sticks. Juliana could tell he was proud of that knife. He was a sweet boy, caught in the awkward transition from a child to a young man.
While she and Matt gigged for frogs, Evan started a fire and made coffee. Determined not to glance his way, she kept her head down and eyes on the water. But her ears strained for the sound of his low-timbered voice. To the casual observer, she no doubt appeared to be relaxed and happy. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Juliana was tense, her stomach as jumpy as the frogs leaping about trying to avoid their spears. Her head ached from holding back the tide of tears. Her emotions were a raw, jumbled mess.
“Dear Lord,” she whispered, “I need wisdom.”
“Did you say something, Miss Juliana?” Matt balanced on a rock nearly submerged in the water. His pants legs were rolled up to his knees, and he was barefoot. His hair was dark and wavy like his sister’s, but instead of brown eyes, his were green. Henry and Rose Talbot had been blessed with adorable kids.
“I was praying out loud.”
He held his spear aloft. “My ma does that a lot.”
“What about you?”
“Nah. I do it mostly in my head.” His brows shot up, and he pointed to a spot near her foot. “Look—there’s a five-pounder!”
Juliana looked down and spotted the fat frog. While five pounds might be a stretch, three wouldn’t be exaggerating. Moving slowly so as not to frighten it off, she lifted her weapon and, with a swift, sure stroke, plunged it down.
“You got him! You got him!” Matt whirled his arms and nearly fell into the water.
Depositing her latest catch into the pail, she said, “I think we have enough, Matt. I’m going to get these ready for your momma.”
Awe filled his eyes. “You mean you’re gonna skin them yourself?”
“I’d planned on it. Would you rather do it?”
“But you’re a girl!” he blurted out.
She paused in the midst of pulling on her stockings and flashed him an indulgent smile. “And?”
He hesitated. “I thought girls didn’t like that sort of thing.”
“I don’t particularly like the task, but I’ve done it often enough to get used to it. If I want to eat it, I have to know how to prepare it, right?”
“Right.”
She could see that he was mulling this information over. Rising to her feet, she asked, “Would you like to help me?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He scrambled onto the bank and started tugging on his socks and boots.
“Carry the pail for me?”
“Yes, ma’am!”
As they searched for a place to work, Juliana couldn’t resist a glance at the fire. Evan was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, she wondered where he had gone.
Rose was peeling a mound of potatoes. Joy was amusing herself by tossing the peelings in all directions. Henry sat on the other side of his daughter, drinking a cup of coffee and listening to her chatter.
An hour passed. Then another. Evan was nowhere to be seen. Juliana was worried. Just because it was daylight didn’t mean there weren’t wild animals roaming the woods. Their encounter with the black bear flashed through her mind. What if he’d stumbled across another one?
Or worse, what if Lenny Fitzgerald had caught up to them? The thought of Evan in danger made her heart race. By the time she and Matt were finished, she was trembling with apprehension.
“Are you all right, Miss Juliana?”
Washing her hands in the shallow water, she looked over her shoulder at the concerned boy. “Why do you ask?”
“You’re awful pale,” he said in a serious tone. “And you got quiet all of a sudden.”
Juliana felt bad about causing him alarm. She mustered up a fleeting smile. “I’m sorry, Matt. I guess I was thinking too hard about something.” She walked over to where he was crouched down and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you for your help this afternoon.”
He beamed up at her. “You’re welcome.”
With a squeeze and a pat, she picked up the pail containing the frogs’ legs and took it over to Rose. Her legs were unsteady, and she felt as if she might lose her lunch.
“Juliana!” Rose scrambled to her feet and took the pail from her. “Sit down right here in the shade while I pour you a drink of water. You look parched.”
Juliana sank to her knees, accepting the tin cup pressed into her hand and sipping the cool liquid. She untied her bonnet with her free hand, slipped it off and placed it in her lap.
“I hope you didn’t get too hot,” Rose commented as she resumed her task. “Would you like a cool compress for your forehead?”
“No, thank you. The water is helping.” She met Henry’s gaze. “Do you know where Evan went?”
“He went looking for berries,” Henry’s eyes twinkled. “Heard you had a hankerin’ for dessert.”
Juliana didn’t know what to think. Evan was out there searching for berries in order to please her? That meant that, in a roundabout way, it was her own fault she was sick with worry.
“He’s been gone a long time, don’t you think?” She brushed a black ant off the corner of the blanket.
“Your husband should be along shortly,” he assured her. “Don’t worry, he’s got protection.”
She didn’t respond, merely sipped more water. A weapon wouldn’t do him any good if he didn’t have time to draw it.
Father God, my thoughts are spiraling out of control. You know exactly where he is and what he’s doing. Keep him safe. I ask this in Jesus’s name, Amen. Oh, and please help me not to worry.
Evan stared down at the smoldering fire pit with dismay. Next to it lay an empty whiskey bottle and the remains of someone’s supper. Whoever had been there hadn’t taken the time to clean up after themselves.
He picked up the bottle and examined it more closely. The label was partly worn off, bu
t he could make out enough of it to know that it was the cheap brand Fitzgerald preferred. Tossing it to the ground, he searched for more clues, but came up empty.
If Fitzgerald was nearby, he’d have to warn Henry Talbot.
The Talbots’ arrival had proved to be a blessing. Before now, he hadn’t been able to backtrack and check for signs that Fitzgerald was indeed following them. He hadn’t wanted to leave Juliana alone and unprotected. With Henry to watch over her, however, he’d felt that he could leave her for a while.
He figured he’d been gone about two hours, enough time to relive their last conversation about a hundred times. Her words had seared him clean through to his soul. He’d never been shot, but he figured the pain of a bullet hole couldn’t compare to the wound she’d inflicted.
Juliana hadn’t wanted him to kiss her. She said she didn’t feel safe with him.
Burying his face in Lucky’s coarse neck, he groaned. What a mess he’d made of things! Her mistrust dealt a harsh blow to his honor. Evan would die before forcing himself on a woman.
Slamming his hat on his head, he swung into the saddle and turned Lucky in the direction of camp.
Memories of the kiss resurfaced. Juliana had been irritated with him beforehand, but she’d responded to his touch. Hadn’t she? Had he imagined the longing in her eyes?
His grip tightened on the reins. One thing was for certain—he would not kiss her again unless she asked him to. And, knowing Juliana, that day would likely never come.
Juliana paced before the fire, stopping every few moments to search the darkness and listen for the sound of a rider approaching. Her nerves were stretched to the limit. If Evan didn’t show up soon, she would borrow one of Henry’s horses and go search for him herself.
Her imagination was running wild, dreaming up all sorts of reasons why he hadn’t returned. Fear taunted her, robbing her of peace.
Supper had turned out to be a huge disappointment. The food Rose worked so hard to prepare hadn’t tempted her a bit. For Rose’s sake, she’d managed to eat a portion of her meal. Even with that small amount, her stomach had cramped up and she’d resorted to sipping coffee.
The other couple had done their best to keep her mind off Evan. They entertained her with stories of the children’s antics. They were kind people who shared her love for the Lord. She was thankful for their companionship.
Throughout the evening, Henry hadn’t appeared at all concerned over Evan’s absence, but Rose hadn’t been able to hide her unease.
“Juliana?”
Stopping short, she shot the other woman a hopeful look. “Anything?”
With a sympathetic smile, Rose shook her head. Black curls framed her face and spilled over her shoulders, making her appear ten years younger. Juliana thought she was a handsome woman.
“Would you like for me to pray with you?” Rose asked.
“That would be nice.”
Rose approached and, clasping Juliana’s hands, she began to pray for Evan’s safety and swift return. For Juliana, she prayed for peace and faith in God’s goodness.
“Thank you, Rose. I’ve only known you a day but I already consider you a friend.”
Rose’s face lit up, warming Juliana. “Not only are we friends, but sisters in Christ.”
The weight of her and Evan’s deception weighed heavily on her conscience, but she couldn’t tell Rose the truth. Not yet. Perhaps someday, when the time was right, she would confide in her new friend and ask for forgiveness.
“The children are already asleep, but Henry and I will be up awhile longer. Just so you know, Henry plans on staying awake until Evan shows up.”
“I’ll be awake, too. I doubt I’ll sleep this night.”
“Try not to worry, Juliana.” She spoke with conviction. “From what I’ve seen, it’s obvious that Evan loves you dearly. He’ll fight to get back to you with everything in him.”
Juliana bit her lip. If only he truly did love her. If only he wasn’t an outlaw. If only…
“I hope you’re right,” she sighed, her heart heavy.
“According to Henry, I’m always right,” Rose grinned and patted her arm. “Wake me if you need to. I won’t mind.”
“I’ll do that,” she agreed. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
Juliana watched her walk back to where they’d bedded down on the far side of the fire. She spoke to Henry, who turned and waved. Juliana lifted her hand in a limp wave and resumed her pacing.
Chapter Twelve
Exhaustion threatened to overtake Evan. His lower back ached from sitting in the saddle for hours on end, and his head pounded from lack of food. At this late hour, hunger was the only thing keeping him awake. He tried to remember what he’d eaten for lunch and realized he and Juliana had skipped it. He wondered if she’d thought to save him a plate from supper, or if she’d thought about it and decided to let him fend for himself.
The light from the fire was a welcome sight. Sensing water and rest were within reach, his horse cantered into the campsite, arriving winded and nearly tossing Evan to the ground with his abrupt stop.
“Whoa there, big boy.” He spoke in low tones so as not to wake the others. He balanced his hat on the saddle horn and ran his fingers through his hair.
Sliding out of the saddle, he jerked at the unexpected sound of Juliana’s voice directly behind him.
“Where have you been?”
He turned to face her, taken aback by her undisguised anger. Her eyes were enormous in her colorless face. Tendrils had escaped the once-tidy bun, and there was a smudge of dirt on her chin. She looked fit to be tied.
“Do you realize how worried I—we have been?”
Evan stared down at her. The desire to hug away her worries was strong, but he knew she wouldn’t welcome it. As hard as it was, he turned his back on her and began to see to his horse, speaking over his shoulder as he worked.
“I’m sorry about that, but I had my reasons.”
Silence greeted his remark. Then, “And what might those be, may I ask?”
“Fitzgerald,” he grunted, lifting the saddle and dropping it on the ground nearby. His glance flicked to her face, then away. “He’s on our trail.” He removed the saddle blanket from Lucky’s back.
“Did you see him?”
“Nope.”
“Then how—”
“Whiskey bottle.” He brushed the black’s coarse hair until it shined in the low light. “I know the brand he drinks. That, and the place was a mess. Typical of him.”
When she didn’t respond, Evan paused. Heaving a sigh, he slowly turned around. Fear was written all over her. When he noticed her trembling, his willpower took a nosedive. Still, he managed to hold back.
“Please try not to worry, Juliana.” He gazed deep into her eyes, trying to impart comfort without actually touching her. “He’ll have to go through me to get to you.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she whispered.
Evan’s fists clenched. He swallowed hard. How much was a man supposed to take? He wasn’t made of steel.
“I don’t plan on losing, darlin’,” he drawled, his voice a soft caress.
“Evan, I—”
“Glad to see you made it back.” Henry strode up and clapped him on the shoulder. “Everything all right?”
“Actually, I need to speak with you.” He glanced at Juliana. “Do you happen to have any leftovers? I’m starving.”
She stared at him. “I’ll get a plate ready for you. How about coffee as well?”
He flashed her a grateful smile. “I’d like that, if you’re not too tired.”
“I’m too wound up to be tired.”
“You can keep me company while I eat then.”
With an arched brow, she whirled away and went to ready the food. He stared after her, content simply to watch her move about. Henry cleared his throat, and, pulling his gaze away, Evan began to lay out the facts.
After stoking the fire, Juliana set the coffee o
n to heat. The night air was fresh and sweet and pleasant. Crickets chirped. The fat, luminescent moon cast a glow over the land as mist rolled in across the pond.
Her eyes drank in the sight of Evan, safe and sound in her presence. In the pale moonlight, she could make out his profile as he spoke with Henry. Wide forehead, straight nose, angled jaw, determined chin. His short black hair lay smoothly against his head.
His bearing spoke of self-assurance and resolve. Did he fear nothing?
Her own battle with fear had left her limp and worn out. It had taken her on a wild ride that day—from the heights of worry to the depths of despair. She knew that God had not given her a spirit of fear, but of power and of a sound mind. Instead of trusting in Him, however, she’d allowed herself to become consumed with the emotion.
Now there was new reason to fear—Lenny Fitzgerald was hot on their trail.
God, I’m so confused. I’m falling in love with one outlaw and being hunted by another. Where are You in all of this? How will I find my way?
Juliana missed her family, especially her sister, Megan, and her cousin, Josh. Megan was a good listener, and her faith was solid. As roommates, it was their habit to confide in each other while everyone else slept. In the comfort of their beds, they often talked long into the night. Megan would surely have something constructive to say concerning Juliana’s growing attachment to Evan. Josh was a good listener, too. He gave sound advice from the male perspective.
She wondered what they were doing at that moment. No doubt her entire family was in turmoil over her disappearance. She wondered if there were men still searching for her. She knew Josh would never give up. Her cousin would search until he found her.
Josh and Evan were alike in that they were both determined men. Once their purpose was set, they would do anything to accomplish it. If the circumstances had been different, she had no doubt the two would’ve been great friends. As things stood, she would have a hard time convincing her cousin not to shoot the man who’d kidnapped her.
