Bryan gave her a mock glare, but then smiled. “I told you,” he explained to me. “I was home schooled, so I didn’t have a lot of experience with other kids, much less with girls.”
“So, my sister and I thought it’d be fun to dress him up,” she continued. “We took him up to our room and made him put on this little yellow dress. We clipped barrettes in his hair and put on some of our mother’s lipstick. We wanted blush too, but couldn’t find any, so we smudged the lipstick on his cheeks. He looked like some warped version of a drag queen!”
“Don’t listen to her,” he said squeezing my hand lightly. “I looked hot.”
“I bet you did,” I replied, rolling my eyes.
“When we had him all dressed up, we wanted to make a big production about showing him off, so my sister, who was like ten at the time got out her portable CD player and her Grease Soundtrack —”
“Yeah, yeah,” Bryan interrupted. “They made me parade around the backyard in front of everyone to the song ‘Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee.’ Real hilarious.”
I had to admit, it was funny, and I giggled along with Monica.
“My brother never let me live that down either,” he muttered.
Aaron returned to our table just as the waiter appeared. I ordered the veggie lasagna which came in a slice almost as large as the plate. Monica got a Caesar salad with the dressing on the side. She would dunk her fork in the dressing before stabbing her lettuce. I guess I understood now how she was so thin.
After dinner, we headed over to the high school. The cafeteria was transformed by the magic of the school Spirit Committee. The tables had all been folded away, leaving only some folding chairs in different areas of the room for people to sit in when they got sick of dancing. The florescent lights were off, the only illumination coming from thousands of white Christmas lights laced around the ceiling and dripping down the walls. A long table at one end had punch and soda being served by some student volunteers, and a couple strategically placed bins of dry ice sent billows of fog rolling over the floor.
“Do you dance?” Monica shouted to Aaron over the up-tempo pop music.
He nodded, taking her hand and leading her out to the dance floor. I’d never seen my brother dance before, but he managed to pull it off without looking any worse than anyone else. Monica undulated next to him, a little too closely.
Across the room, I spotted a photographer taking pictures of the couples. “Let’s get our picture taken.” I suggested.
“Sure,” Bryan shrugged.
Walking across the room, I tensed up at the onslaught of emotions coming from the crowd. Luckily, most of the students were in good moods. When I got within range of the dancers though, the elation coming off of them made my head dizzy. I clutched Bryan’s arm. The direct contact helping to filter some of the emotional pollution out.
“You okay?” he yelled.
I nodded and led him away from the dancers.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “You looked like you were going to faint for a minute there. Do you want me to get you something to drink?”
My body was still a little woozy. “Just some punch, I think.”
“Be right back.”
Bryan threaded his way through the crowd, while I staked a claim on the wall. This was only the second dance I’d been to, and the only semi-formal. Lony had made me go with her to the back-to-school dance at the beginning of our freshman year. It was okay until she latched onto some cute boy and left me alone for the rest of the night.
I spotted Shawn and Angelique coming toward me from the dance floor. They were both breathing heavy and damp with sweat. Shawn was dressed like a 1920’s gangster and Angelique wore a vintage flapper dress, complete with the matching headband wrapped around her forehead.
“Hey, girl!” Shawn called out. “Where’d your hot date go?”
“To get me something to drink. You guys having fun?”
Angelique draped her arm around Shawn’s shoulders. “Are you kidding? This DJ is incredible! Every song he has played so far has been killer!”
“How’re your brother and the ex getting along?” Shawn asked, after Angelique excused herself to use the restroom.
I gestured for him to take a look for himself. Aaron and Monica were wrapped up in each other grinding like they’ve been lovers for years. Aaron had this stupid grin on his face like he won the lottery or something. I gave them five minutes before some chaperone went over and broke them up.
“Whoa!” Shawn replied. “She’s cute.”
“She’s more than cute,” I pointed out honestly, unable to mask the hostility in my voice. “She still has the hots for Bryan too.”
“Did she say something to you?”
“She didn’t have to,” I answered. “Call it intuition.”
Bryan returned holding two plastic cups of pink punch. I sniffed and noticed right away that someone had spiked it. Oh, well, I thought, raising it to my lips and drinking it anyway. The strawberry liquid burned down my throat.
“Woah, that’s strong!” Bryan exclaimed after gulping his down.
“Yeah, I saw a few of the football players dumping Smirnoff in the bowl a while ago,” said Shawn.
We talked for a few minutes more before Angelique returned and danced Shawn away.
Bryan took my empty cup and tossed it with his into the garbage. “Come on. Let’s get our picture taken.”
We walked over to the photography area and stood in the short line. When our turn came up, we positioned ourselves in front of a light blue backdrop and posed with our arms around each other. I knew from seeing other people’s homecoming pictures in the past that they always turned out cheesy, but I didn’t care. I was happy having Bryan by my side for the whole school to see.
A slow song came on and the crowd on the dance floor changed. New couples rotating in to rock back and forth with their dates as those who came stag sloughed off to find something to drink.
“Wanna dance?” Bryan asked.
I nodded and let him lead me out by the hand. I kept us on the edge of the crowd and my body in direct contact with his, so I wouldn’t be overcome by the emotions of the crowd again. Bryan pulled me into his arms, and I rested my head on his chest where I could hear his heart beat in time to the music.
Being so close blocked out the vibrations from the others, allowing me to tap fully into him. The same calm glow that I was used to from Bryan was there, but also something else, something that made my pulse quicken and caused me to press against him tighter. I let out a little gasp when I felt the evidence of what it was.
My body stirred in response to his, and I lifted my lips to meet his. His fingers roamed lightly over the exposed skin on my back and down my side. Our breathing turned shallow.
“Oh, Bryan,” I moaned as I pressed myself against him and rode the waves of his closeness.
“Thank you for coming with me tonight,” he said into my ear, his hot breath sending a shiver down my neck. “I hated the idea of having to take Monica.”
“Why?” I asked, “She’s gorgeous. All of the guys would’ve been jealous of you.”
Bryan shrugged. “She’s pretty, but she’s not you.” Bryan drew back to look me in the eyes. “I’m being honest here…I dated her because she was fun, but I never felt for her what I feel for you.” His hands tightened on my waist and his expression seemed to be waiting for a response. My head spun with the headiness of it all.
“I haven’t dated much,” I admitted. “But I’ve never liked anyone as much as I like you either.”
His mouth broke into a grin, and he bent to kiss me again.
After two slow songs, the DJ went back to fast ones, so we left the dance floor. My head swam as if intoxicated by him. Bryan steered me over to introduce me to Jeff and Tim, his friends from the jazz band. I remembered Tim from a biology class we had together the year before. He had a reputation for being a talented guitarist, and I’d heard he played in a band with some college guys. Tim’s date, Ke
lly Locke, lives down the street from me. We used to play with each other sometimes when we were kids. I didn’t catch the name of the mousey-looking girl standing next to Jeff. Her discomfort and self-consciousness was killing my buzz.
“What’re you guys doing after this?” Tim asked. “My parents are gone for the weekend, so I’m having a few people over. You can stop by if you want.”
Bryan looked at me and shrugged.
“I don’t think I really have a curfew,” I said. “My mom never notices me coming or going lately.”
“Okay, maybe we’ll stop by then,” Bryan told him. Tim texted Bryan his address.
The music paused after a song, and a little screech of feedback alerted me to the girl standing on a raised platform trying to get everyone’s attention.
“Excuse me!” she called out. It was Vanessa Moriarty, the Homecoming Queen and one of Lony’s cheerleading friends. “Can I have your attention?”
The room quieted to a low murmur.
“I’d like to take a few minutes to remember my good friend, Avalon Day, who tragically passed away in September.”
I groaned and Bryan took my hand.
“The tradition of Homecoming is one where students and alumni come together to celebrate our alma mater,” she read off an index card. “This year, Lony’s missing presence has affected us all. She was one of the nicest girls I’ve ever known, so fun and full of life. That’s why the Senior High cheer squad has put together a short memorial slide show to honor her memory. We’ll follow the show with a moment of silence.”
One of the cheerleaders rolled a projector out and shined it on a large screen hung against the wall. A shot of Lony’s sophomore yearbook picture flashed up and Sarah McLaughlin’s “I Will Remember You” started to play.
“I think I’m going to go to the bathroom,” I said to Bryan.
“Are you okay?” His concern lapping at my mind.
“I’m fine, really. I just need to walk. I’ll be back.”
Chapter 23
I slipped out the cafeteria door into the brightly lit hallway. Instead of going into the bathroom though, I headed out of the side doors toward an outdoor seating area. I sucked in the fresh night air and hugged my arms to fend off the autumn chill. Since the school sits on top of a hill, I had a pretty good view of the city lights.
A shuffle sound to my left caught my attention. I peeked around the corner of the building and saw the silhouette of a guy sitting on the grass alone, his face buried in his hands. I was too far away to judge his emotions, but I thought something might be wrong.
I walked slowly toward him. When I got within fifteen feet, he must have heard my footsteps and his head snapped up. It was Cane Matthews.
He jumped to his feet and held the wall of the school for support. He appeared to be tipsy. The expression on his face was one of shock, all round, glassy eyes and paleness. His mouth opened as if to say something, but no words came out.
“Cane…” I said, not knowing what to say to him. Ever since the accident, I got the distinct impression that he hated me, or at least hated looking at me.
“Oh, Cady,” he replied breathlessly. “You scared me. You’re wearing her dress.”
For the briefest of moments, he must have thought I was my sister. I continued walking forward, but once I stepped within range of his emotions, my stomach clenched up so tightly that I almost doubled over. He was a one-man hurricane of sorrow. I would’ve expected sadness, but the overwhelming guilt shocked me. What does he have to feel guilty about? My hands shook and the muscles in my shoulders compressed.
“It hurts to look at you,” he said, stepping up so close I could smell the booze on his breath. He reached up with his finger and traced my bottom lip.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, although whether I meant I was sorry for my looks or sorry for his loss, I couldn’t tell.
“I always thought you were prettier though,” he continued, his words slurring slightly. “Bet you never knew that. You’re so natural and carefree. Lony was so…polished.” He spit it out like a dirty word.
I trembled under the weight of the icy waves coming off his skin, and his drunkenness was making me dizzy. I thought about blocking him, but I didn’t want to give myself a blinding migraine and ruin the rest of my night.
Cane tightened his fists by his sides. “Don’t get me wrong, I cared about your sister. I did. But I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t take the fighting all the time.”
“W-what are you saying, Cane?”
He didn’t answer right away. His green eyes glazed with alcohol roamed over my face as if committing it to memory. Finally, he whispered, “I did something unforgivable.”
What in the hell is he talking about? My abdominal muscles ached from the tension between us, and pressure built up behind my eyes. I put my hand on the bricks of the building to keep myself upright and allowed my mind to flick back to that night.
I could see them walking along the tracks. I couldn’t hear their words, but Lony was gesturing wildly. She kept stopping like she wanted to him to also, but he never did. He kept walking ahead of her with his hands jammed in his pockets, so she would have to rush to catch up. When the headlight on the train swept around the corner, both faces looked up in shock. At that point, a good twenty feet separated them. Cane moved first, jumping off the tracks. When Lony stood frozen, he turned back yelling at her to move. Lony snapped out of it and tried to flee, but her sandal caught on a rail and she fell down. Cane ran back toward her, but he was too late.
I squeezed my eyes to keep the tears from escaping. “Cane, I saw it. I remember every detail. You are not responsible for Lony getting hit by the train.”
He shook his head. His drunken dizziness slipped over me, making my head spin.
“You don’t understand,” he argued through clenched teeth, tugging on his hair in frustration. Now, anger filled him, adding to the mix. The cold burn of it filled my veins with ice water, causing me to hold the wall of the building for support. Cane turned on his heel and started in the direction of the parking lot.
“Cane, wait!” I yelled.
When he ignored me, I ran after him as quickly as my delicate shoes would allow, catching up to him just as he approached his truck. I grabbed his wrist as he reached for the door handle.
Cane spun me around and pressed my back up against the cold metal door. One arm was wrapped around my back, clutching my hair with his fist. The other hand pressed against the driver door, trapping me in place.
“It should have been me!” he hissed, his eyes moist with unshed tears.
The ferocity of his emotions froze me to the bone. My teeth chattered audibly.
“I fucked up, and it should have been me. If I hadn’t…” He trailed off.
“If you hadn’t what, Cane?” my voice shook. “There was nothing you could have done. What, do you wish you would’ve thrown yourself on the tracks too?”
“Maybe I should have! She didn’t deserve to die like that, with her heart broken.”
“What are you talking about?” My body trembled with the cold pulsing off of him. My headache was reaching migraine levels and causing my vision to blur. I couldn’t have blocked him now if I tried.
“I broke up with her,” Cane said through gritted teeth. “I told her that it was over, that I didn’t love her.”
I gasped, but couldn’t form any words.
“We were walking behind you guys, and she started in on me because she thought I was paying more attention to Carly Smith in the parking lot than to her.” His grip on my hair relaxed a bit, but he didn’t let me go.
I remembered the red-head from the parking lot.
“Lon was just mad because Carly and I know people that she didn’t, and she felt excluded by our conversation. I get that, but we’d been having the same sort of arguments repeatedly for months, and I was tired of it. Just because I talk to another girl, it doesn’t mean I’m interested in them. Carly is my second cousin, by the way,
not that Lony asked before jumping to conclusions.”
Talking about that night seemed to be helping him, and I wondered if I was the first person he admitted any of this to. I had the distinct impression that I was somehow absorbing his anger. The waves of his emotions were still as cold, but were coming less intense now. Only in the places where he touched me did I feel any warmth at all. I leaned against him, drawn like a cat to a sunny spot.
“So, you broke up with her?”
“Yes,” he admitted. He bent to rest his forehead against mine. “I’m so sorry, Cady. I’m so sorry she had to die knowing that I didn’t want her anymore. And then people were so supportive and nice to me thinking I’d lost my girlfriend. It made everything a million times worse.”
I wasn’t sure how I felt about Cane’s confession. On one hand, the thought of Lony’s last moments being ones of pain broke my heart. I thought back to those minutes that I’d experienced before passing out. I remember that feeling of loss. At the time, I thought it was the loss of her life that had her so sorrowful, but now, I could see a whole different side to what must have been going through her head.
But another part of me understood how Cane felt and longed to comfort his sorrow away. Lony’s death was not his fault, and he’d had every right to break up with her if he wanted to. I never understood how they handled all of the stress from their bickering anyway. Perhaps it was due to the contact of our bodies making the emotional connection between us so strong, but I could feel how his guilt was tearing him up inside. I couldn’t be angry with him for hurting my sister. Not when he was hurting too. I reached my arms around his shoulders to pull him to me. He crumpled against me, burying his face into my shoulder.
After a moment, my friendly hug turned into a different kind of embrace. The full length of him was pressed against me, trapping me between his muscled body and the steel door of his truck. Our breathing grew shallow, and I was too aware of our hearts beating in unison. For the second time that night, my traitorous body echoed the stirrings of another’s arousal. The heat of his growing passion flowed through me, awakening a need deep in my belly. My mouth dropped open in shock just as Cane leaned in and kissed me deeply. I couldn’t fight my body’s response to his hot mouth, faintly tasting of vodka. For one moment, I allowed myself to kiss him back, letting my tongue match the rhythmic movements of his, trailing my fingers down the strong plane of his broad back. The feedback of our completed circuit of emotions threatened to carry me away…until I remembered Bryan. I brought my fists up to push against Cane’s chest.
Arcadia's Gift (Arcadia Trilogy) Page 16
