Independence

by Shelly Crane

  Oh…

  How was I supposed to follow that? Now I had to write my vows to him and try to be as perfect and spot on as he had been? He was my very heart. He was my love, he was my everything… I felt so inadequate compared to him. I wiped my eyes with my palms and sucked it up. I had to do this. I took a deep breath and focused on Caleb. He had some black boxer briefs on and he stood at the sink getting ready to shave. The mirror was fogged over and he hadn't wiped it yet.

  I decided not to wait and write them all out. I would just tell him how I felt right now. No worrying over pencil and paper and trying to word things just right This was me, real, alive and in love with him. I was about to had myself to him raw on a platter.

  I kept my eyes closed and took my pinky finger in the air, imaging the words as I wrote them out in the fog on the mirror in front of him, little section by little section, and then letting the steam cover it back over before starting again.

  I know that you think that on some level I regret the day you touched me. I don't. Not on any level, not even a little. You've changed me in the most profound ways. When I was a little girl, I always imagined that I'd grow up to be like the women I saw in town. Women like my mom, who took care of everything so effortlessly and reveled in their status and small accomplishments. But it was all fake.

  Your family made me see that you should take care of your family because you love them, not because someone important is watching. And I want to take care of you. In my body, down into my veins is this itch, this need to make you absolutely happy. You don't try to keep me down, you keep me safe while also letting me be me. You said you we trying to find the balance between being the tyrant and letting me be myself? You're there, baby. You take such good care of me. And the fact that you worry about it is the best part. It shows how much you love me. And there's no doubt in my mind at all that I'll be happy with you. I only hope that I can make you as happy, too.

  I love feeling your heart in my chest, knowing that mine is beating there right beside yours. I'm right where I belong. So do I regret the day you touched me? The day you made me yours? Never, Jacobson.

  No matter where we go, what we do, what we see or have to deal with as the leaders of our kind... You're amazing, you're sexy and fun, protective, ambitious, and sweet.

  I am so ready to live this life with you.

  He emerged from the bathroom, his boxers the only thing he wore. His reverent face was ruggedly beautiful. And when he bounded toward me, his bare feet padding on the tile floor, I welcomed the crash of our bodies. His hands wrapped around my thighs to lift me up and he held me to him and squeezed the life out of me as he said, "Is it tomorrow yet?"

  I smiled against his mouth. "Almost. Thank you for what you wrote. To say it was beautiful is a terrible understatement."

  "I meant it. And vows on the bathroom mirror? I bet I'm the only Ace who can say that that's how they got them."

  I shrugged and smiled in embarrassment. "I improvised."

  "I loved it. Thank you," he said in my favorite growly voice. He nipped at my chin. "You want to straddle the line with me, Mrs. Jacobson?"

  "That's all I want to do right now," I said breathlessly as he took me and placed me gently on the bed before following me down. His mouth claimed small pieces of skin that seemed so miniscule in the grand scheme of things, but he also lit me on fire with every inch he moved to.

  We stayed decent, dressed and technically innocent, but satisfied. The boy was a genius at knowing me, at knowing my body, and knowing just how far to go and what each sigh and gasp meant.

  The blue energy ribbons that came when we melded our minds wasn't eerie any longer. It was now a part of me and I welcomed it. It felt like it belonged. And watching his face through the glow as he kissed my shoulder and neck was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen.

  And now as we lay together in his warm bed, reveling in the feel of each other and trying to tell our bodies to calm down, it was the best kind of Hell. The worst kind of Heaven. We only had a few short hours until Heaven and Hell would collide, and I wasn't scared or worried or even anxious. I was just ready.

  Pull the gate and let this racehorse go. I was ready for the marathon.

  I woke to the tune of We're Not Gonna Take It.

  I sat up so quickly my head spun. I mumbled, through my teeth, "Ohmygoshwhatisthat…" I looked around and saw my cell phone bumbling around on the night stand. I grabbed it up and answered with a groggy, "Hello?"

  "Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. So good to hear your voice again." I froze. Marcus. "Do you like that new ringtone I got for you?"

  He had my phone? He had been…in our house….

  I shook Caleb, but he was already awake, feeling my scared heart beating in my chest, and up glaring at the phone in my hand. "What do you want?"

  "You. Dead. Too much to ask?"

  "What do you want?" I said more forcefully. My mind immediately flitted to Beck, that he was calling to tell me he'd found her and she was dead. Caleb shook his head and took his own phone off the dresser and dialed her number.

  "I just wanted to tell you that I heard about your friend's passing. Sad really. Those pesky fuel lines… Anyway, my family is back home now. The compound is all they've got left. They are so pathetic, moping around and trying to find jobs. But I just can't do that. I didn't enroll in college or anything. I was always too busy helping Sikes with his schemes, and now he's gone, and Donald is gone. My father is the most pathetic of them all. Marla was his golden child. You did me a favor, by the way." He laughed, though I could hear the slight crack telling me he was lying. "She was always the soft one, the one who flew by the seat of her pants and just wanted everyone to kiss her butt and tell her she was pretty and special." There was a pause. "Anyway, I'm going to be in the neighborhood and I thought maybe I could stop by your dad's house tonight. I figured that since I haven't seen you, you aren't interested in retaliating against me for Rebecca like I assumed you would. I assumed you wouldn't stop until you found me. So I guess I'll have to go higher in the ranking and take out dear old daddy."

  My breath caught in my throat. Caleb took the phone from me then and yelled into the receiver. "Stay away from them. You're a human now. Do you really want to test Maggie right now?"

  I could hear it all through Caleb and heard his gutturally grunted words.

  "I want to do more than test her. I want her to die in your arms and watch as you cry like a girl for your fallen, pretty, little Visionary." He chuckled under his breath. "I guess…I'll see you soon."

  And the line went dead. Caleb dialed Rebecca's number as I glanced at the clock. It was only a little after seven in the morning. Caleb's hand shook with anger as he tossed my phone onto the bed. "Beck's fine. She answered and said to stop calling her and hung up. So, she's fine."

  I swallowed, my throat dry. "Ok, now what?"

  "Well…I had planned to-" He sighed, long and hard. "I had planned to take you to the apartment I got for us in Arizona. But Marcus is screwing all of that up."

  I felt my breath catch in my throat. "Arizona?"

  He nodded and gave me a wry smile. "I wanted to take you there and tell you all about the plans I want for us and my company." He slid down to the floor, kneeling at my feet as I sat on the bed, and rested his arms on my knees as he continued. "I thought long and hard about this. I knew not buying you a house for our wedding is going to upset some people, mainly my dad, but I knew that Bish didn't have the money and that you wanted to help any way that you could. So, I decided to buy the house for Bish and then rented us an apartment for your wedding gift in Arizona for us to go back and forth from here to there." He gulped slightly. "I want you to work with me. I want you to help me expand the centers to other states. It's what I've always wanted to do and I know you haven't decided what you wanted to major in or anything yet. You can do anything you want, I promise I'll stand behind you in whatever you decide, but I would be honored if you'd be my co-pilot." He grinned. "My co-CEO of my compan
y and travel with me to get the centers started and hire the staff. I'll buy you a real house for us to settle down in whenever you're ready, but for now, I just thought this would be make more sense."

  I spoke slowly. "It makes perfect sense. I love it."

  "You do?" he said in relief.

  "Yes. And I want to be available to the other clans as much as I can, too. This should help keep our schedule pretty open since we're not going to be on a set daily time that we have to work like we would at your dad's office."

  He nodded. "Right."

  "You're the sweetest. Those kids are so incredibly lucky to have you."

  His cheeks may have turned a little pink. I couldn’t be sure in the dark. "Yeah."

  "So what are we going to do about Marcus?"

  "Well instead of going to Arizona, I guess we better leave after the wedding and take your dad with us. And Bish. And Kyle, too, for that matter. I'll book us a couple cottages at Virginia Beach or something. It won't be the honeymoon I wanted to give you, but…"

  "It's perfect. We'll still get a honeymoon and knowing that everyone else is right there with us safe will be better." I took a deep breath, trying not to cry as I thought about it.

  He noticed though and looked at my eyes closely. "You nervous?"

  "Not even a little." He looked skeptical. "I just can't believe it's today."

  He smiled and snaked his arms around my waist. "I bet Marcus was so smug thinking he'd ruined your day. He always underestimates you."

  "I won't let anything ruin this day."

  He kissed the end of my nose. "Today is all that matters, my love," he whispered into my hair.

  "And what is today?" I asked cheekily.

  "The day you pay the consequence for saying 'yes'."

  I giggled and opened my eyes to find him over me on his elbows. "I'll gladly pay that penalty."

  "Good." He kissed my forehead. "I'll go drop you off at Dad's and all the girls can get ready there. Kyle said we'd get dressed at his house. Don't worry. I'll bring Bish and your dad so you don't have to worry about them. I've got 'em."

  "Thank you." I kept my face straight. "Are you nervous?"

  "Hell no," he said with a grin. "Let's go, gorgeous. Everything you need is at Dad's."

  "OK." We got dressed and he drove me over to Peter's house. The new butler had started that day and he wasn't nearly as funny or as friendly as Randolph had been.

  Caleb kissed me on the cheek and said he'd see me later. I looked over my shoulder at him as I climbed out of the truck. Bish came out and hopped in with him. He waved at me and smiled the hugest grin. It made me want to cry at seeing him that happy. I look past him to Caleb and waved my fingers at him.

  Bye.

  Bye, baby.

  And they drove away to Kyle's leaving me standing in the massive driveway. I turned around and half expected to find white tulle and bows everywhere, but the place looked the same.

  I made my way through the garage and down the maze of halls, remembering the way to navigate it that Caleb had taught me. Bella met me first, circling me and licking at my fingers. Then Maria ran and tackle-hugged me around my middle. Rachel was next, asking how my night had been. I couldn't stop the blush that crept up. So I wasn't surprised at all when Gran gave me a scowling look.

  I ignored her and tried to move on. "So…"

  "So. Nervous?" Gran asked, fingering a curl near my ear.

  "No. Why? Were you nervous?"

  "I was so scared that I thought I'd never make it to him without passing out." She smiled, her eyes far away and clear. "But I did. How come you ain't nervous?"

  "What's there to be nervous about?" I told her, but looked at the floor. "It's just Caleb. I know he loves me, so why would I be nervous about this?"

  She lifted my face with a finger under my chin. "You're telling the truth," she said in revelation. I nodded. "Well, I'll be… And here I thought I was supposed to be on runaway-bride duty."

  I laughed. "No need. So what's first on the agenda?"

  "First?" Rachel asked and put on her apron. It said, "I'm flippin' awesome" with a picture of a spatula. I pressed my lips together so as not to laugh. "Let's get some food in the bride's bellies. Pancakes or eggs?"

  "Pancakes," Jen and I said together and laughed. Lynne was absorbed in squeezing oranges for fresh-squeezed orange juice. So I went and started a pot of coffee. Surely, I couldn’t screw up coffee, right?

  After we finished cooking and eating, she pulled me aside and handed me a leather bound book. I looked quizzically at it and she urged me with a nod to open it. She had over 100 pages of handwritten recipes, all neat and orderly, organized by types of food. I felt my mouth drop open when I saw Gran's Honey Bun Recipe.

  "Gran was one who taught you to make those divine honey buns you made in California?"

  "Mhmm. She taught me a lot. There's a lot of Gran's recipes in there, along with tons of our old family ones. I just knew that learning to cook was something that was important to you, and I wanted you to have a fresh start at it. And if you ever have any questions or anything you can call me anytime. It took me years - years, honey - to be a good cook. But I love it now."

  "I think I'll love it, too."

  "And we got you something else, too." I waited knowing she'd tell me without being prompted. "It's from Peter and me." And she handed me a small box. I opened it and produced a small locket. It looked just like… "This is Gran's locket."

  "It's just like it." She lifted her hand making the locket lift from the box. She moved her finger to tell me to turn around and she lifted the locket into the air and let it fall gently around my neck. "We got Jen one, too. Though finding a picture of Bish was challenging." She smiled in amusement.

  I opened the locket and there was a picture I'd never seen before of Caleb. He was doing that half smile, half smirk thing he was so good at. I lifted my head and said, "Wow, thank you."

  She pulled hers from beneath her blouse. "It's a Jacobson tradition. We want to keep it going with you both."

  I nodded. "Thank you. It's beautiful."

  "I just can't believe this day is here," she said her voice, cracking. She looked out at Jen and then gave me a small smile before walking to her. She embraced her, and Jen sighed and laughed at the same time.

  "Mom, you've got to stop crying already."

  I laughed silently at them.

  We all nibbled and watched an old movie together, My Fair Lady, until that afternoon when it was time to start getting dressed. I was glad that everyone didn't seem to be making a fuss. Your wedding day shouldn't be stressful, it should be relaxing and filled with laughter. That's exactly what we did.

  I sat in between Fiona and Jen, and we all laughed and made our own Eliza Doolittle accents. Fiona was the best Eliza Doolittle.

  When it was time to get dressed, that's what we did. Gran had made everyone's dresses for them according to their likes and measurements. Lynne and I both chose a shorter dress while Jen and Fiona chose the more traditional long looking ones. But they were all blood red and as gorgeous as could be. I wore my new locket and let Rachel do my hair in big curls, and put in little diamond earring studs. Maria painted my toes for me, red of course, since this was a barefoot event.

  When they said it was time to go, it seemed almost a little anti-climatic. I had been waiting for this and now it was here. I felt so calm and just ready for it.

  I gave myself one more look in the mirror.

  The dress was gorgeous. The red silk shimmered just a bit. The length was right above my knee, but the part that was hard to take your eyes off of was the neckline. It was an off-the-shoulder, but the sleeves were longer and flowy. It looked like something out of a magazine, not something an old cranky woman had whipped up at the last minute. The necklace could be seen perfectly with the low neckline and my shoulder was exposed in the most elegant way.

  I was ready. This was it. The next time Caleb called me Mrs. Jacobson, it would be the truth.

  So I
didn't stall, or shake or worry. Honestly, I didn't even know how all of this was going to play out. There had been no dress rehearsal or anything, but it was all OK.

  I padded down the hall with my bare feet and made it to the backyard double glass doors that Gran had said to meet her at. She was there, bare feet and a red shirt with black slacks. She held her arm out to tell me to wait. Soon I was met by Lynne, Jen and Fiona. They all made their way out, Fiona first, me last. When it was my turn Gran swept her arm for me to come. I walked to her and she put a red Malva flower behind my ear. I remembered the one Rachel had in her vision she showed me of her wedding. It was a tradition.

  "Some people eat Malva flowers," she informed softly, rubbing the ends of my hair sweetly. "They think it helps with maintaining weight. Some eat them as vegetables or in herbal teas. Some say they can cure stings on the skin. But though it's delicate and pretty, it needs help from no one to grow. They spread their own seeds with no help from nobody. You're just like a flower, pretty girl. You're beautiful, but strong. Useful, but fun and wonderful. And you don't need help from anybody to do what you need to do. But it never hurts to have a handsome guy around." She winked, causing me to laugh. "Caleb is the perfect guy. He's sweet and caring, very much like a flower himself with that pretty face. And though he would be fine all on his own, it wouldn't hurt for him to have someone that he belonged to. You two, though beautiful and strong separately, are like this Malva flower when you're together. I'll know how good you'll be for and to each other. I'm glad that my Caleb can finally say he's found you."

  I nodded my head and wanted to scold her for making me want to cry before we'd barely even started the ceremony. Just the Jacobson family was there, no one that I didn't already know, and they all smiled and parted a path for me to go through. The more people I made it through, the louder a guitar rhythm got. I recognized it as Beautiful Love by The Afters.

  Uncle Max was the one playing guitar. He grinned and nodded as I passed him. Everyone was so close as I made my way through that we rubbed elbows and I could smell the perfume of several mixed together. Haddock, I realized, was the only person there from another clan other than Fiona. He smiled at me and touched my hand as I passed him.