by Kailin Gow
Chapter 1
“No,” Kalina was whispering, “no, no, no!” She had curled up on the floor, contorting into herself, a small, quivering ball of flesh. It was too much, too much to bear. First Octavius had left her – whispered his love to her and then told her it was best if they part, for her own good, he had said! And moments later, she had heard this missive from Jaegar, the telepathic connection that she had once thought of as a blessing, but which now was proving to be a curse.
She could hear Jaegar's crazed voice echoing in her head.
You little bitch – you think you can get away from me? Stupid slut...I will find you, I promise you! And this time I'll finish what I started. I'll make you enjoy it, you little...
Stop! Stop! Jaegar!
“Stop!” Her emotions overflowed her capacity for telepathy, and she began shouting the words around, screaming into the air. “Stop it, please! Make it stop!” She was shaking, sweat dripping into the carpet beneath her. “Oct-” She clapped a hand over her mouth. She could not call Octavius now, not moments after he had left her, after he had broken her heart. He needed to track down Mal – he needed to focus; he probably already knew what had happened to Jaegar, for the two men shared a telepathic bond of their own. She couldn't slow him down with entreaties for him to comfort her.
“Kalina!” Stuart's voice echoed through her head as he rose. “What's going on?” His voice was so kind, so soft – so much like Jaegar's, as Jaegar's voice had once been, whispering words of love into her neck and shoulders and thighs.
“Jaegar...” she whispered, shaking so hard she couldn't force the words out. “The vials – my blood...”
“What vials?”
“Mal – Mal took the vials.”
“Of your blood.” Stuart was kneeling before her, now, his hands squeezing her shoulders tightly, trying to force her into something like rationality. “The vials of your blood.”
“Yes!” Kalina shuddered.
You stupid girl – are you going to be a cocktease for my brother? Just like you were for me?
She raised her hands to her ears, forcing them over her, trying in vain to drown out the sound, a sound that there was no way to drown out, no way to destroy, a sound entering the very center of her soul.
“He drank...” Kalina looked into Stuart's eyes, unable to bear the pain of what she would have to tell him next. “Mal forced him to drink.”
“Forced who?”
“Jaegar!” Kalina began sobbing, brokenly, into Stuart's shoulders. “He forced Jaegar...”
“He forced Jaegar to drink your blood?”
And then Kalina saw it. The stark, clear, agony overwhelming Stuart's features, the fear as with every second of understanding that passed, Stuart's brother was lost to him, more and more...
“Is he okay?”
It was a stupid question. They both knew it was a stupid question. But Stuart could not stand to give up hope.
Slowly, with agonizing finality, Kalina shook her head.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered. “Oh God, Stuart; I'm so sorry...”
Octavius would have been able to fix this, she thought. Octavius – with his dark, piercing eyes and olive skin, his wisdom, his elegance, his strength, his ability to make her feel that all was safe in the world, as long as she was in his arms... Octavius had connected with her body, with her blood – with her mind – providing her with the strongest experiences of telepathy she had ever known, experiences as extraordinary as they had been erotic. But he had gone now, and she might never see him again. Last time he had fought with Mal, Mal had almost killed him, even with the most powerful vampires in the world – the Consortium – at his back. And now they were dead, and Octavius might as well be.
And Jaegar was gone too.
Another wave of pain broke over Kalina, and she pressed her face to the cool marble floor, unable to withstand the heat and agony overflowing in her heart.
If only Octavius hadn't sent her back here to Rutherford, told her – begged her – to choose another, one of the Greystone Brothers, the vampires he had made, whom he loved enough to entrust with the woman he loved. Octavius had told her only they could keep her safe – but if he hadn't, then maybe Aaron and Jaegar would still be here...
“Mal has turned Jaegar...” Kalina whispered. “He's on Mal's side now.”
“No,” said Stuart quickly. “I know – I know I've accused him of a lot,” said Jaegar, “But he is my brother. He is not evil.”
“Stuart, I'm sorry, but...”
“He's strong! He could have withstood the sickness, the madness – I know he could!”
“Stuart, no!”
“He can fight it!”
“Stuart!” Kalina fell silent. “I can hear him in my head. Hear the things he says to me. Filthy, cruel, sick, horrible things...he wants to drain me dry, to kill me, to force me to...”
“No!” Stuart's eyes widened. “That can't be. That's not the Jaegar I know. That's not...that's not my brother. He would stake himself before he let anything, anything happen to you.”
Kalina calmed herself. At least now she could speak clearly. “Whatever is in Jaegar's body now,” she said softly. “It's not the Jaegar we know. It's not Jaegar at all.”
Stuart's mouth turned grim. “Then there is no hope?”
Stupid bitch – of course there's no hope! I've wanted to do these things to you ever since I met you, ever since I first saw your hot little body jogging along...
Kalina felt bile rise in her throat. “I am sure,” she said. “Jaegar...Jaegar is dead.”
“I understand.” Stuart grimaced. “Then...we must do to him...what we must do.” She could see him straining against his own pain, willing himself to be strong.
“We must.”
“And Aaron?” Stuart's voice cracked. She did not think he would be able to hear any more bad news, especially concerning his little brother.
“I don't know,” said Kalina. She searched her brainwaves for a sign – she could see only Aaron as Jaegar had last seen him – his eyes wide with fear and pity for his brother. “He's still alive, I think,” said Kalina. “And he hasn't been turned, either. Mal must want him for something.”
“Ransom?” Stuart asked. “Or...his nose.”
Aaron was the finest winemaker of any vampire. His famous nose for blood had made him priceless to Octavius – and even more priceless to Mal. Mal wouldn't risk driving Aaron mad – Kalina thought – not if the madness would interfere with Aaron's senses.
“You think he's looking for other carriers?” said Kalina. She shuddered. “You think there are other carriers out there?”
“I don't know.”
Images flashed through Kalina's mind – a table, surrounded by vampires- a meeting, Aaron in chains.
She spoke as if possessed. “A vampire meeting!” she shouted. “Mal is having Aaron smell the blood, my blood, under vampire oath. To prove...”
“That it's Life’s Blood?”
“The real deal, yeah.” Kalina's voice shook as softly as an echo.
“And then he'll want to sell off the rest of it...” Stuart's voice trailed off. “And send Jaegar after you.”
“I'm the only carrier,” said Kalina mournfully. “But...where do we go? What about Justin – and Maeve?” Neither her brother nor her best friend knew how to defend themselves against vampires.
“I don't know,” said Stuart. “The Winery – the Winery isn't safe. It's been breached – Jaegar has an invitation there. It's his house – we can't rescind it. You can rescind the invitation to your house...”
“Then let's drive there.” Kalina forced herself to her feet, leaning heavily on Stuart's arm. “As fast as we can!”
Stuart nodded curtly, forcing his face into neutrality. She knew he wouldn't let her see his pain. His stoic reserve was what she admired most about him – that impenetrable strength that conquered all emotions.
Stuart walked her to the car, opening and closing the door for her with gent
lemanly reserve. What a lifetime it had been, thought Kalina, since Stuart had last come to the Calloway residence. He had taken care of Kalina when she blacked out following the exhaustion of learning about vampires – taken care of her for two whole days, watching over her and bonding with her brother, Justin. They had been dating, then, and everything had been new and exciting, their relationship filled with so much promise! And then they had screwed it up, both of them. Stuart had withheld vital information from her – the curse of her virginity, her destiny to remain chaste if she wanted her blood to be able to engender humanity in vampires – and sucked blood from Maeve, which had made Kalina so jealous – Maeve could give her boyfriend what she could not. And Kalina in turn had screwed it up too – leaving him for Jaegar, then leaving Jaegar in turn for Octavius, so overwhelmed was she by the novelty of her emotions, the power of a vampire's embrace.
How simple things had been at the beginning, Kalina thought as they began driving. How beautiful it had all been – and how easy!
She placed her hand slowly, tentatively, in Stuart's – a friendly gesture – trying somehow to express her anger, her sorrow, her pain for all the difficulties that had passed between them.
He took her hand and squeezed it.
“It'll be okay, Kalina,” Stuart said. His voice was only shaking slightly. “We'll save them,” he said. “Aaron and Jaegar both. I promise.”
“Of course we will,” said Kalina, forcing herself to smile.
But she knew, as they drove on into the night, that neither of them truly believed it.
Chapter 2
They conducted the drive home in silence. The car sped through a night as thick and black as a starless sea, the screech of the tires the only sound. Kalina leaned her head on the window, feeling the cool glass press against her cheek. She could feel Stuart beside her, his hands clenched on the wheel, feel the pain he was trying too hard not to express. She might not have had a telepathic connection with him, but nevertheless she was able to feel in some small measure what he felt, a reflection of her own agony times a million fold. Could this really have happened to Jaegar? Stuart's Jaegar – their Jaegar – her Jaegar? That funny, arch trickster who had caused so much trouble, and yet was always with the best of intentions, whose heart was truly good despite his pretension to wickedness.
Kalina sighed heavily, and the sigh filled the car. She watched the road speed on out the window and blinked away her tears.
“Stop,” she said. “We…we should go to Maeve's house, first. To warn her.”
“What?” Stuart's face was a mask of concern. He turned towards her.
“Mal...when I was imprisoned – he looked into my head. Trying to find the people I cared about. To use them...against me. I don't want anything to happen to her.”
“I understand.”
He spun the car around instantly, the screech hot on the pavement. Good old Stuart, Kalina thought. He was always so quick to do the right thing; it was always so easy for him. Even with everything that had happened between them, with all the chaos and the trouble, he knew exactly what the right thing was, and how to do it. Kalina sighed. If only her own thoughts were so simple, as straightforward as Stuart's. Her mind was so racked with guilt and confusion – she had been so overwhelmed by her feelings – that there was in the end nothing for her to do but force the tears out of the corner of her eyes and try to stay calm. This was her fault, she felt.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Stuart's voice – so calm, like warm milk – broke the silence.
Kalina sighed again, then shrugged. It was too hard to voice her thoughts.
“You okay?”
His concern was so deep, so well-meaning. Even through his own pain he was thinking of her. She knew she had to trust him with her thoughts.
“I think so,” she said. “I mean...everything that's happened...”
“I know.”
She shot him a weak smile. “It's just – things were a lot simpler before I met you guys.” She looked down.
“It's hard to tell what you're thinking,” said Stuart. “You get this look on your face – you're so far away.”
She was in the recesses of dreamland, that labyrinth Octavius had taught her to walk in, searching telepathically, calling out his name...
“Funny,” said Kalina. “Jaegar wouldn't have said that. Octavius...they can read my mind. If I let them. But you...”
“We haven't made that connection,” said Stuart. She could see his lips whiten with the faintest hint of jealousy.
“No, not yet,” said Kalina. “But...why? I mean, I drank Jaegar's blood. But with Octavius...it was before that. I hadn't even drunk his blood when we were able to start communication. And it's not like it was with Jaegar. With him it was always fuzzy, like...like talking underwater, I guess. But with Otavius...so clear!”
“You and he had...have...something special,” said Stuart. “It's not normal.”
“When are vampires ever normal?” Kalina stared out the window.
“Even for vampires.” Stuart began to look uncomfortable. “Normally,” he said. “The telepathic connection is done only through blood – like you and Jaegar. You drank his blood, so you were able to connect with his thoughts.”
“And Octavius?”
“You are the Carrier of Life’s Blood,” said Stuart. “The rules for you are not like the rules for everybody else. Nobody knows quite what you are. Half human – half vampire? But you're not a dhampir like Aaron...not a halfling in the technical sense.”
“I'm a mystery, I guess,” said Kalina. They fell silent. She spoke up again. “And you and Maeve? Can you share thoughts too?” Kalina flushed to remember how stupid and jealous she had been about Maeve's relationship with Stuart. She had asked Maeve to give blood to help save Stuart's life – yet when she saw the two of them together, partaking in that bloody ritual from she was excluded, the pain of her necessary exclusion had clouded her better judgment. “Don't worry,” said Kalina quickly. “I'm over all that now. I'm not mad – I mean...I'm sorry.”
“I'm sorry too,” said Stuart. He looked closely at the steering wheel.
“I talked to Maeve. She and I – well, we're best friends again!” Kalina smiled. “She's a good friend.”
“Yes,” said Stuart. “I can imagine she would be.” Stuart sighed. “I'm glad. That – we did not hurt you.” He shook his head. “No, Maeve and I were never able to talk telepathically. Not all vampires have that ability – only the strongest. And even then they have to share blood...it is so rare. But again, I must say, I think it is a question of your blood. Life’s Blood does some incredible things – and there is so much about the subject that vampires don't even know!”
“Do you think...” Kalina's voice trailed off.
“Do I think what?”
“If I drank your blood, I mean. Do you think we'd get a connection – telepathically?”
Stuart looked up. “What?”
“I want to be able to reach you,” said Kalina. “Wherever you are. In case...” She flashed back to Mal's dungeon – the terror, the smell of the damp and the sound of the mice scurrying underfoot. She shut her eyes, trying to drown out the image. “Now that Jaegar's gone – it's too dangerous if I can't communicate with you.”
“That makes sense,” said Stuart, but his voice was wary.
“I just...if Mal comes after us...” Kalina's eyes began to water. The very thought of Mal – his cruel smile – his sadistic glee in torturing her for hours upon hours – made her begin to shake.
“It's all right.” Stuart leaned in closely, putting an arm about her shoulders. His touch calmed her; his eyes were warm and full of love. They made her feel safe – protected. “I won't let that happen to you again, Kalina. I promise. Even if it means...” He took a deep breath. “I want you to drink,” he said. “But please – please don't hate me...afterwards.”
Kalina raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Just do it!” Stuart snapped. “Bef
ore I change my mind.”
He bit into his wrist; Kalina could see rivulets of blood emerging from the wounds. “Drink!” Stuart's voice was harsher than she was accustomed to – hot and angry with desire.
She closed her eyes and inhaled. The scent of the blood was intoxicating; it swamped her nostrils, her mouth, her whole world. Against herself, she leaped upon him – forcing him to swerve the car to the side of the road – pressing her lips into the cut, drinking down every droplet of the blood. She could not see; she could not hear; she could not think. She could only moan softly as she lapped up each trickling droplet, turning her lips a dark shade of purple as she rubbed her cheeks and lips against the cut.
At last she opened her eyes, only to see Stuart's face contorted in something like agony. She stopped immediately. Had she hurt him? Killed him? She forced her mouth away from the wound, shuddering with the effort.
“Stuart? Are you all right?”
“Don't talk.” His voice was harsh and cold. “Just...don't...talk.”
They sat in silence for a while, Kalina clapping a hand over her mouth. At last Stuart turned towards her. “I am sorry,” he said. “For my behavior just then. But – the sensation of you...there. It was...overpowering. I was afraid if I allowed myself to open my eyes, to see – hear – smell you – I would not be able to restrain myself.”
His eyes remained closed.
“Right now, I want nothing more than to bite you back,” he said. “My desire for you has been multiplied a thousandfold.” He sighed deeply. “Right now, I want you more than anything – and I can't – I can't have you. And it's killing me that I can't.”
“Stuart...” Kalina said softly.
“No, I agreed to this! I told you you could have my blood!”
“You knew it would do this to you?”
He nodded. “A worthwhile price to pay for your life. An...exercise of my willpower.” He scoffed. “No, you’re Octavius’… had been from the start. Your heart – your mind. The last time my brother and I tried to keep you from Octavius...we were wrong to do so. We kept you from your destiny – for our own selfish reasons. Love, bloodlust – I don't know. We betrayed our maker. It was unforgivable. But I can’t help this want, Kalina. I’m fighting it with everything I’ve got.”
