by Loree Lough
“There’s my dad and Nadine,” she said, pointing. “Think I’ll go over and say hi.”
Max wiggled his eyebrows and said from the corner of his mouth, “Speaking of cozy couples, the pair of them look mighty cozy themselves.”
They did, at that—she had to agree. All right, so maybe they were in love. Last she heard, there was no law against a widower and a widow linking up romantically. Especially when the couple in question had been neighbors for decades…had become close friends after sharing the pain of losing their spouses.
Narrowing her eyes, she glared at him. “Some people believe in happy endings. Just because you have no faith doesn’t mean everyone else—”
Brows raised, he held up both hands. “Whoa,” he drawled, laughing uneasily, “easy there, li’l lady. Didn’t mean to rile you.” He looked apprehensive. “Are you angry with me for some reason? You haven’t exactly been your warm, cheery self.”
Shaking her head, Lily looked at the ceiling. She’d promised herself not to behave like a starry-eyed teenybopper if she ever saw Max again…and had intended to avoid him whenever possible. So much for that! But she knew Max didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of her short temper. He had enough to contend with.
Simulating a mischievous grin, Lily said, “It’d take a lot more than the likes of you to rile me. Sorry if I’ve been biting your head off. It’s just been one of those days.” Then she winked and spun on her heel and left him standing alone near the enormous stainless-steel coffee urn.
From here on out, she’d have to be a lot more careful, she decided, heading for her dad’s table. If Max got wind of her true feelings…
“Hey, cutie,” Lamont’s date said as she patted his shoulder. “Look who’s here!” Nadine reached for Lily’s hand. “Haven’t seen you since Cammi’s wedding. My, but you look pretty in that color.”
She’d chosen the ruby-red sheath, hoping it would brighten her mood. It had not. No matter how colorful, clothing couldn’t hide the fact that Max’s interest was rooted in gratitude and friendship, and that’s all it ever would be. She bent to kiss Nadine’s cheek. “How are you?”
She flicked a quick, flirty glance at Lamont. “Never better.” Then, blue eyes on Lily, Nadine tucked a blond curl behind her ear. “And how’re you, darlin’?”
“Great.” But she wasn’t. Night after night of never-come-true dreams involving Max had made her weary…and brokenhearted. Lily knew exactly what the problem was: she hadn’t taken her own good advice and put the matter at the foot of the Cross. Not really, anyway. Starting now, she’d try harder to do just that.
Lily stood behind her dad and patted his shoulders. “So, what’re you two up to?” she asked, popping a kiss to the top of his gray-haired head.
He turned to face her. “Up to our Adam’s apples in artery-cloggin’ food,” Lamont joked, pointing at his plate. “Do yourself a favor and grab a slice of Nadine’s coconut pie, ’cause it’s goin’ fast.”
“So much has been going on, I haven’t had a chance to ask, how was Abilene?”
Lamont told her about the hearty young bulls he’d bought there, using his hands and animated expressions to highlight the story. He’d always been a handsome man—tall, broad-shouldered and barrel-chested, with brawny arms and manly hands that belied the thick fringe of dark lashes surrounding his big gray eyes. When he looked at Nadine, those eyes sparkled and he smiled like he meant it. He’d known her since her now-deceased husband had bought the land beside River Valley Ranch, and over the years, they’d become friends. It was obvious something else had come from that friendship, and that “something else” made Lamont look much younger than his fifty-five years.
Ten years younger and happier than she’d seen him in decades. If that’s what love can do, she thought, maybe Cammi’s right. Maybe she should give up this Max Sheridan dream and find a guy who could return her feelings.
“Oh, by the way,” Nadine was saying, “Elmer says hi.”
Lily grinned, remembering that a few months ago, she’d nursed the woman’s orphaned calf back to health. “I’ve really enjoyed having him follow me around the ranch, but I hope I didn’t ruin him for you like a puppy. He must be huge by now.”
“Already twice the size he was when you sent him home. You were wonderful with him, darlin’. I thought sure I’d have to put him down before he mourned himself to death. You’re a lifesaver!”
“Lifesaver? I thought her nickname was Snow White,” Max chimed in.
When had he walked up? And how long had he been standing there?
“Actually, ‘lifesaver’ is more accurate.”
Lily tried to ignore the heat in her cheeks, hoped he wouldn’t tell them—
“Did she tell you she saved Nate’s life?”
Groaning inwardly, Lily held her breath.
Lamont and Nadine exchanged puzzled glances. “I’d heard your boy had a heart problem….” Lamont said to Max.
“But how did Lily save him?” Nadine finished.
“I didn’t save him,” she insisted. “Dr. Prentice did.”
Max harrumphed. “After Nate was out of danger, the doc told me in plain English that if it hadn’t been for you, stepping in when you did, he—”
Lily waved his comment away. “Nurses and doctors donate blood all the time. They’d have found someone else.”
He shrugged. “Maybe. But none of them was wearing a pretty blue bridesmaid gown—”
“Maid of honor,” Nadine corrected with a playful wink.
“None of them was wearing a maid of honor gown, or those pointy-toed, high-heeled matching shoes.”
She didn’t know what her outfit had to do with anything, but she knew this: Max had an enormous capacity for love and he had proved it that night when he came into the E.R. cubicle to hold her hand while Nate was being prepped for the O.R. He had noticed how cold her hands were and had hunted down a nurse to get a blanket. Such a big heart!
So why couldn’t he find room in it for God?
“It was no big deal,” she said. “I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.”
“Uh-huh.” He turned to Lamont and Nadine. “The patch they’d put on Nate’s heart had worked its way loose, see, and he was bleeding internally. Hemorrhaging is more like it. I’m not a match, and the hospital had some kind of emergency that made them run out of his blood type.” He looked at Lily, a sweet, lopsided grin on his face. “She volunteered to give him as much as he needed, right then and there.”
“Doesn’t surprise me,” Lamont said. “My girl has a heart as big as her head.” He sandwiched her hand between his own. “No wonder you’ve been lookin’ a mite pasty-faced these past couple of days. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Because you’d have made a big fuss, she thought. “Really, it was no big deal.”
“Well, it was a big deal for us,” Georgia said.
Lily had barely had time to adjust to Georgia’s presence when her boyfriend added, “You’re the Sheridan family hero, girl!”
“Dr. Prentice says you saved my life,” Nate put in.
Why hadn’t she noticed that they’d joined the group?
She’d never been comfortable with compliments, whether about her work, her face and figure, or her so-called good deeds. Lily wanted to bolt from the church basement, go straight home and hide in the barn, where she could do what needed doing and not have to deal with this awkwardness. In their own way, her animals appreciated what she did, too. The difference was, they accepted her nurturing quietly and without question—and didn’t embarrass her with a lot of unnecessary thank-yous afterward.
“I’m glad you like the bracelet,” Nate said, touching his small forefinger to a golden X. “I helped Dad pick it out.”
Pride beamed from his big brown eyes, making Lily want to hug him.
So she did.
“I love the bracelet. Haven’t taken it off since it was delivered last week.” She held him at arm’s length to say, “But how di
d you help your dad pick it out? You were so sick in the hospital!”
“There was a picture of it,” the boy said, “in a magazine one of the nurses brought me. I showed it to Dad, and he said, ‘Xs for kisses and Os for hugs. Perfect for Lily.’”
Lily met Max’s eyes. Kisses and hugs. Did he mean…?
He nodded in response, telling her with those big brown eyes of his that Nate might have pointed it out, but he wanted her to wear it. Unconsciously, she wrapped her hand around the bracelet, stomach fluttering, her heart clenching. Dare she hope he felt some of what she felt?
Stop it! she scolded herself. Remember your promise.
She stood quickly. “Well, I’d really better be going. I haven’t fed the animals yet, and I’m sure they’re kicking up a fuss.”
“The animals? Oh, Lily! Could I come over and watch you feed them? I won’t make any noise or touch anything, I promise. I’ll be like a statue.”
To prove it, Nathan stood, stone-still, and stared straight ahead, reminding Lily of the stiff-backed soldiers in the Nutcracker ballet. She’d like nothing more, and would have said so, but didn’t want to risk a misunderstanding like the one she and Max had had the night she found Missy.
The boy faced his father, folded his hands as if in prayer, and in a soft, sweet voice said, “Can I, Dad? Please? If you’ll take me, you can give me a chore, any chore, and I promise to do it without complaining.”
“C’mon, Max,” Georgia said, “take him to Lily’s. He’d have a ball!”
“Yes,” Nadine agreed, rumpling his hair, “let the kid go, Max.”
Max continued to gaze into Lily’s eyes, one corner of his mouth twitching slightly. Lily didn’t know if he intended to lash out at the lot of them, as he had that night on the phone, or say yes. She was about to say something along the lines of This isn’t a good time, but maybe another day, when Max’s mouth broadened in a rascally grin.
“Do you have time for gawkers and interlopers?”
Lily looked from his dark eyes to his son’s, and sighed. “No, I don’t,” she began, matching his grin, “but I have time for you and Nate.” She had a lifetime, in fact.
Nate jumped up and down, clapping his hands and yelling “Yippee!” as Georgia and Nadine made the “shush” sign with fingers to their lips.
“I’d say let’s all go in my car,” Max said. “But how would you get yours home?”
She had opened her mouth to say Let’s meet at the barn, when Nadine pulled Nate into a grandmotherly hug. “I rode over here with your dad,” she told Lily. “Have to go back to River Valley to get my car, anyway, so I can drive your car.”
She winked at Lily. Winked! What if Max thought it was a sign that they’d succeeded in pulling off a well-planned plot to get her and Max together?
She chanced a glance at him. If he suspected anything of the kind, it didn’t show on his face. He stood, feet shoulder width apart and hands in his pockets, waiting for her to make a decision: drive home in her car, or ride over with him and Nate.
Lily dug her car keys out of her purse, handed them to Nadine. “Thanks, Nadine,” she said, hoping she wouldn’t regret her choice.
“Only too happy to help out.” Another playful wink at Lily before turning back to Lamont. “Well, handsome, you ready to hit the road, or do you want me to fetch you another slab of pie?”
Blushing, Lily’s dad grinned and patted his stomach. “Couldn’t eat another bite.”
“Follow me, then,” she said, crooking her finger and wiggling her eyebrows.
Grinning like a schoolboy, he got to his feet. “I’m right behind you.” Eyes on his prize, he added offhandedly, “See you at home, Lil.”
It was so good, seeing him this happy! After Rose died, he’d sacrificed his whole life for his daughters; if this woman could make him happy, Lily was all for it.
It seemed odd that romance was blooming all around her—Georgia had Robert, newlyweds Cammi and Reid had only recently returned from their honeymoon, even her father had found his match with the widow who lived next door. She didn’t begrudge any of them their joy. Quite the opposite! It was just…why couldn’t she have a slice of that kind of happiness?
She suddenly remembered what he’d said earlier, about Robert’s freedom. Because, you big idiot, you went and fell in love with this big galoot, and he thinks of marriage as a prison!
“Ready?” Max said, offering her his arm.
Timidly, she took it, and walked beside him.
Beside him.
If she had her way, it’s where she’d spend the rest of her days.
“Thank you, God!” Nate said, climbing into the back seat.
God.
Max was no longer a “follower,” Lily recalled. What would it take to bring him back to the Lord? Prayer and faith had been responsible for Nate’s now-healthy condition, and it was the reason Georgia’s surgery had been such a success, too. Lily believed that with all her heart, so why couldn’t Max see it!
During the drive to River Valley Ranch, Max pointed out landmarks to his son. Funny, touching, when-I-was-a-kid stories that made Lily smile. But her mind wasn’t really on the old movie theater or the corner drugstore. It was on the future—one that she still couldn’t imagine without Max in it.
Maybe finding someone who shared that rose-covered-cottage dream and her love of the Lord wouldn’t be so hard, if only she’d let Max go. Maybe she ought to take Cammi’s advice and move ahead without him.
Without him?
The very idea stung like a slap. Still, she couldn’t—wouldn’t—share her life with a man so stubbornly and deliberately separated from the Almighty.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Max said, reaching over the console to pat her hand. “You feelin’ okay?”
“’Course I am.” She’d answered too fast. Even she could hear the tension in her voice. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, it’s been a pretty hectic couple of weeks.”
True. There’d been Cammi’s wedding, Georgia’s surgery and therapy, Nate’s brush with death…and the new critters she’d added to her collection. She realized suddenly that this was a perfect time to express her faith. “Nothing I can’t handle. It’s all at the foot of the Cross.”
One brow rose high on his forehead, one side of his mouth turned down slightly. His nonverbal message was clear: “Believe what you want. I don’t fall for that nonsense anymore.”
“My teacher at Sunday school in Chicago said that,” Nate announced from the back seat. “She said if you give your troubles to God, He will help you through them.”
Lily smiled over her shoulder. “She’s absolutely right, Nate.”
His adorable face crinkled with uncertainty. “Maybe. But I dunno.”
Sensing he had more to say, she turned to see him better.
“I’ve been asking God for a mom forever,” he said, hands extended in helpless supplication. “And when you found that dog? I talked to Him about that, too.” Frowning, Nate slapped his hands on blue-jeaned thighs. “No mom, no dog. ’Nuff said.”
“God doesn’t always answer with a yes, Nate, but He always answers. Always.”
He thought about that for a minute. “So His answer is no?”
He looked so sad and disappointed. Lily didn’t know what to say. Help me, Lord. Speak through me so this little boy will grow in faith! “I don’t think He’s saying yes or no. I think maybe He’s saying ‘wait.’ When the time’s right, if it’s His will—”
“His will? What’s that?”
What had she gotten herself in to? Lord, don’t fail me now! she prayed. “Well, ‘will’ is…it’s like a plan. Long before you were born, God knew you, knew what was best for you, too. And for as long as you live, He’ll do everything in His power to see that you have what you need.”
“What I need is a mom.” And he added under his breath, “A dog would be nice, too.”
Oh, if only she could fill the role of mom! He was adorable, big-hearted, and smarter
than any four-year-old she’d ever met. And he was part of Max. No wonder she’d gone nuts over him!
She chanced a peek at Max, who stared stonily through the windshield. It dawned on her that Nate’s remark had hurt his feelings, because he was trying his best to fill both roles. “Your dad does okay in the parent department, don’t you think?”
Nate shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”
Max chuckled. “Careful, you two. My head gets any bigger from this onslaught of praise, I’ll have to buy a convertible.”
Lily faced front, discouraged with herself. Why hadn’t she been able to tell Nate what he needed to hear? Perhaps because she wasn’t cut out to be a mother, after all. Because if, as Cammi was always saying, she was a born nurturer, wouldn’t the words have been there, on the tip of her tongue?
“So what kind of animals do you have in the barn?” Nate asked.
She said a quick prayer of thanks for the change of subject. “One hawk with a broken wing, an owl that’s blind in one eye, a billy goat and a squirrel and a couple of monkeys…” She put a finger to her chin and squinted. “Hmm, seems I’m forgetting something.”
“What about the dog?”
She couldn’t help but notice how carefully he’d chosen his words. For an instant, she felt angry with Max for being so stubborn about a dog for his boy. But then, he’d been a dad for four years. Nate was living proof that he’d done a fine job, especially considering he’d done it alone. So who was she to question his parenting tactics!
No, clearly it had been her misconception—this idea that ‘good mommy genes’ flowed in her veins. Faced with cogent evidence that she didn’t possess natural-born skills, after all, Lily was torn. On the one hand, this new revelation freed her to move in a different direction with her life; on the other, it required her to give up her dream. Not an easy undertaking, because, frankly, she’d grown pretty comfortable with it.
“That dog you found in the lake, I mean.”
She forced a giggle. “Of course! How could I forget Missy?”
“Why’d you name her that?”
