‘Mumble, mumble.
‘“No one could have been happier than I. As you say, it is a compliment to matrimony.”
‘Mumble.
‘“Oh, but you must not repeat such a thing! Mr. Harrison would not like it. He can’t bear to have his affairs spoken about.”
‘Then there was a change of subject; an inquiry after some poor person, I imagine. I heard Mrs. Rose say:
‘“She has got a mucous membrane, I’m afraid, ma’am.”
‘A commiserating mumble.
‘“Not always fatal. I believe Mr. Rose knew some cases that lived for years after it was discovered that they had a mucous membrane.” A pause. Then Mrs. Rose spoke in a different tone.
‘“Are you sure, ma’am, there is no mistake about what he said?”
‘Mumble,
‘“Pray don’t be so observant, Mrs. Munton; you find out too much. One can have no little secrets.”
‘The call broke up; and I heard Mrs. Munton say in the passage, “I wish you joy, ma’am, with all my heart. There’s no use denying it; for I’ve seen all along what would happen.”
‘When I went in to dinner, I said to Mrs. Rose:
‘“You’ve had Mrs. Munton here, I think. Did she bring any news?” To my surprise, she bridled and simpered, and replied, “Oh, you must not ask, Mr. Harrison; such foolish reports.”
‘I did not ask, as she seemed to wish me not, and I knew there were silly reports always about. Then I think she was vexed that I did not ask. Altogether she went on so strangely that I could not help looking at her; and then she took up a hand-screen, and held it between me and her. I really felt rather anxious.
‘“Are you not feeling well?” said I innocently.
‘“Oh, thank you, I believe I’m quite well; only the room is rather warm, is it not?”
‘“Let me put the blinds down for you? the sun begins to have a good deal of power.” I drew down the blinds.
‘“You are so attentive, Mr. Harrison. Mr. Rose himself never did more for my little wishes than you do.”
‘“I wish I could do more - I wish I could show you how much I feel” - her kindness to John Brouncker, I was going on to say; but I was just then called out to a patient. Before I went I turned back, and said:
‘“Take care of yourself, my dear Mrs. Rose; you had better rest a little.”
‘“For your sake, I will,” said she tenderly.
‘I did not care for whose sake she did it. Only I really thought she was not quite well, and required rest. I thought she was more affected than usual at tea-time; and could have been angry with her nonsensical ways once or twice, but that I knew the real goodness of her heart. She said she wished she had the power to sweeten my life as she could my tea. I told her what a comfort she had been during my late time of anxiety; and then I stole out to try if I could hear the evening singing at the vicarage, by standing close to the garden-wall.
CHAPTER XVIII
‘The next morning I met Mr. Bullock by appointment to talk a little about the legacy which was paid into his hands. As I was leaving his office, feeling full of my riches, I met Miss Horsman. She smiled rather grimly, and said:
‘“Oh, Mr. Harrison, I must congratulate you, I believe. I don’t know whether I ought to have known, but as I do, I must wish you joy. A very nice little sum, too. I always said you would have money.”
‘So she had found out my legacy, had she? Well, it was no secret, and one likes the reputation of being a person of property. Accordingly I smiled, and said I was much obliged to her; and, if I could alter the figures to my liking, she might congratulate me still more.
‘She said, “Oh, Mr. Harrison, you can’t have everything. It would be better the other way, certainly. Money is the great thing, as you’ve found out. The relation died most opportunely, I must say.”
‘“He was no relative,” said I; “only an intimate friend.”
‘“Dear-ah-me! I thought it bad been a brother! Well, at any rate, the legacy is safe.”
‘I wished her good morning, and passed on. Before long I was sent for to Miss Tomkinson’s.
‘Miss Tomkinson sat in severe state to receive me. I went in with an air of ease, because I always felt so uncomfortable.
‘“Is this true that I bear?” asked she, in an inquisitorial manner.
‘I thought she alluded to my five hundred pounds; so I smiled, and said that I believed it was.
‘“Can money be so great an object with you, Mr. Harrison?” she asked again.
‘“I said I had never cared much for money, except as an assistance to any plan of settling in life; and then, as I did not like her severe way of treating the subject, I said that I hoped every one was well; though of course I expected some one was ill, or I should not have been sent for.
‘Miss Tomkinson looked very grave and sad. Then she answered: “Caroline is very poorly - the old palpitations at the heart; but of course that is nothing to you.”.
‘I said I was sorry. She had a weakness there, I knew. Could I see her? I might be able to order something for her.
‘I thought I heard Miss Tomkinson say something in a low voice about my being a heartless deceiver. Then she spoke up. “I was always distrustful of you, Mr. Harrison. I never liked your looks. I begged Caroline again and again not to confide in you. I foresaw how it would end. And now I fear her precious life will be a sacrifice.”
‘I begged her not to distress herself, for in all probability there was very little the matter with her sister. Might I see her?
‘“No!” she said shortly, standing up as if to dismiss me. “There has been too much of this seeing and calling. By my consent, you shall never see her again.”
‘I bowed. I was annoyed, of course. Such a dismissal might injure my practice just when I was most anxious to increase it.
‘“Have you no apology, no excuse to offer?”
‘I said I had done my best; I did not feel that there was any reason to offer ail apology. I wished her good morning. Suddenly she came forwards,
‘“Oh, Mr. Harrison,” said she, “if you have really loved Caroline, do not let a little paltry money make you desert her for another.”
‘I was struck dumb. Loved Miss Caroline! I loved Miss Tomkinson a great deal better, and yet I disliked her. She went on:
‘“I have saved nearly three thousand pounds. If you think you are too poor to marry without money, I will give it all to Caroline. I am strong, and can go on working; but she is weak, and this disappointment will kill her.” She sat down suddenly, and covered her face with her hands. Then she looked up.
‘“You are unwilling, I see. Don’t suppose I would have urged you if it had been for myself; but she has had so much sorrow.” And now she fairly cried aloud. I tried to explain; but she would not listen, but kept saying, “Leave the house, sir! leave the house!” But I would be heard.
‘“I have never had any feeling warmer than respect for Miss Caroline, and I have never shown any different feeling. I never for an instant thought of making her my wife, and she has had no cause in my behaviour to imagine I entertained any such intention.”
‘“This is adding insult to injury,” said she. “Leave the house, sir, this instant!”
CHAPTER XIX
‘I went, and sadly enough. In a small town such an occurrence is sure to be talked about, and to make a great deal of mischief. When I went home to dinner I was so full of it, and foresaw so clearly that I should need some advocate soon to set the case in its right light, that I determined on making a confidante of good Mrs. Rose. I could not eat. She watched rite tenderly, and sighed when she saw my want of appetite.
‘“I am sure you have something on Your mind, Mr. Harrison. Would it be - would it not be - a relief to impart it to some sympathising friend?”
‘It was just what I wanted to do.
‘“My dear, kind Mrs. Rose”, said I, “I must tell you, if you will listen.”
‘She took up the fire-screen, and he
ld it, as yesterday, between me and her.
‘“The most unfortunate misunderstanding has taken place. Miss Tomkinson thinks that I have been paying attentions to Miss Caroline; when, in fact - may I tell you, Mrs. Rose? - my affections are placed elsewhere. Perhaps you have found it out already?” for indeed I thought I had been too much in love to conceal my attachment to Sophy from any one who knew my movements as well as Mrs. Rose.
‘She hung down her head, and said she believed she had found out my secret.
‘“Then only think how miserably I am situated. If I have any hope - oh, Mrs. Rose, do you think I have any hope - “
‘She put the hand-screen still more before her face, and after some hesitation she said she thought, “If I persevered - in time - I might have hope.” And then she suddenly got up, and left the room.
CHAPTER XX
‘That afternoon I met Mr. Bullock in the street. My mind was so full of the affair with Miss Tomkinson that I should have passed him without notice, if he had not stopped me short, and said that he must speak to me; about my wonderful five hundred pounds, I supposed. But I did not care for that now.
‘“What is this I hear,” said he severely, “about your engagement with Mrs. Rose?”
‘“With Mrs. Rose!” said I, almost laughing, although my heart was heavy enough,
‘“Yes! with Mrs. Rose!” said he sternly.
‘“I’m not engaged to Mrs. Rose,” I replied. “There is some mistake.”
‘“I’m glad to hear it, sir,” he answered, “very glad. It requires some explanation, however. Mrs. Rose has been congratulated, and has acknowledged the truth of the report. It is confirmed by many facts. The work-table you bought, confessing your intention of giving it to your future wife, is given to her. How do you account for these things, sir?”
‘I said I did not pretend to account for them. At present a good deal was inexplicable; and, when I could give an explanation, I did not think that I should feel myself called upon to give it to him.
‘“Very well, sir; very well,” replied he, growing very red. “I shall take care and let Mr. Morgan know the opinion I entertain of you. What do you think that man deserves to be called who enters a family under the plea of friendship, and takes advantage of his intimacy to win the affections of the daughter, and then engages himself to another woman?”
‘I thought he referred to Miss Caroline. I simply said I could only say that I was not engaged; and that Miss Tomkinson had been quite mistaken in supposing I had been paying any attentions to her sister beyond those dictated by mere civility.
‘“Miss Tomkinson! Miss Caroline! I don’t understand to what you refer. Is there another victim to your perfidy? What I allude to are the attentions you have paid to my daughter, Miss Bullock.”
‘Another! I could but disclaim, as I had done in the case of Miss Caroline; but I began to be in despair. Would Miss Horsman, too, come forward as a victim to my tender affections? It was all Mr. Morgan’s doing, who had lectured me into this tenderly deferential manner. But, on the score of Miss Bullock, I was brave in my innocence. I had positively disliked her; and so I told her father, though in more civil and measured terms, adding that I was sure the feeling was reciprocal.
‘He looked as if he would like to horsewhip me. I longed to call him out.
‘“I hope my daughter has had sense enough to despise you; I hope she has, that’s all, I trust my wife may be mistaken as to her feelings.”
‘So, he had heard all through the medium of his wife. That explained something, and rather calmed me. I begged he would ask Miss Bullock if she had ever thought I had any ulterior object in my intercourse with her, beyond mere friendliness (and not so much of that, I might have added). I would refer it to her.
‘“Girls,” said Mr. Bullock, a little more quietly, “do not like to acknowledge that they have been deceived and disappointed. I consider my wife’s testimony as likely to be nearer the truth than my daughter’s, for that reason. And she tells me she never doubted but that, if not absolutely engaged, you understood each other perfectly. She is sure Jemima is deeply wounded by your engagement to Mrs. Rose.”
‘“Once for all, I am not engaged to anybody. Till you have seen your daughter, and learnt the truth from her, I will wish you farewell.”
‘I bowed in a stiff, haughty manner, and walked off homewards. But when I got to my own door, I remembered Mrs. Rose, and all that Mr. Bullock had said about her acknowledging the truth of the report of my engagement to her. Where could I go to be safe? Mrs. Rose, Miss Bullock, Miss Caroline - they lived as it were at the three points of an equilateral triangle; here was I in the centre. I would go to Mr. Morgan’s, and drink tea with him. There, at any rate, I was secure from any one wanting to marry me; and I might be as professionally bland as I liked, without being misunderstood. But there, too, a contretemps awaited me.
CHAPTER XXI
‘Mr. Morgan was looking grave. After a minute or two of humming and hawing, he said:
‘“I have been sent for to Miss Caroline Tomkinson, Mr. Harrison. I am sorry to hear of this. I am grieved to find that there seems to have been some trifling with the affections of a very worthy lady. Miss Tomkinson, who is in sad distress, tells me that they had every reason to believe that you were attached to her sister. May I ask if you do not intend to marry her?”
‘I said, nothing was farther from my thoughts.
‘“My dear sir,” said Mr. Morgan, rather agitated, “do not express yourself so strongly and vehemently. It is derogatory to the sex to speak so. It is more respectful to say, in these cases, that you do not venture to entertain a hope; such a manner is generally understood, and does not sound like such positive objection.”
‘“I cannot help it, sir; I must talk in my own natural manner. I would not speak disrespectfully to any woman; but nothing should induce me to marry Miss Caroline Tomkinson; not if she were Venus herself, and Queen of England into the bargain. I cannot understand what has given rise to the idea.”
‘“Indeed, sir; I think that is very plain. You have a trifling case to attend to in the house, and you invariably make it a pretext for seeing and conversing with the lady.”
‘“That was her doing, not mine!” said I vehemently.
‘“Allow me to go on. You are discovered on your knees before her - a positive injury to the establishment as Miss Tomkinson observes; a most passionate valentine is sent; and, when questioned, you acknowledge the sincerity of meaning which you affix to such things.” He stopped; for in his earnestness he had been talking more than usual, and was out of breath. I burst in with my explanations:
‘“The valentine I know nothing about.”
‘“It is in your handwriting,” said he coldly, “I should be most deeply grieved to - in fact, I will not think it possible of your father’s son. But I must say, it is in your handwriting.”
‘I tried again, and at last succeeded in convincing him that I had been only unfortunate, not intentionally guilty of winning Miss Caroline’s affections. I said that I had been endeavouring, it was true, to practise the manner he had recommended, of universal sympathy, And recalled to his mind some of the advice he had given me. He was a good deal hurried.
‘“But, my dear sir, I had no idea that you would carry it out to such consequences. ‘Philandering,’ Miss Tomkinson called it. That is a hard word, sir. My manner has been always render and sympathetic; but I am not aware that I ever excited any hopes; there never was any report about me. I believe no lady was ever attached to me. You must strive after this happy medium, sir.”
‘I was still distressed. Mr. Morgan had only heard of one, but there were three ladies (including Miss Bullock) hoping to marry me. He saw my annoyance.
‘“Don’t be too much distressed about it, my dear sir; I was sure you were too honourable a man, from the first. With a conscience like yours, I would defy the world.”
‘He became anxious to console me, and I was hesitating whether I would not tell h
im all my three dilemmas, when a note was brought in to him. It was from Mrs. Munton. He threw it to me, with a face of dismay.
‘“MY DEAR Mr. MORGAN, - I most sincerely congratulate you on the happy matrimonial engagement I hear you have formed with Miss Tomkinson. All previous circumstances, as I have just been remarking to Miss Horsman, combine to promise you felicity. And I wish that every blessing may attend your married life. - Most sincerely yours,
‘“JANE MUNTON.”
‘I could not help laughing, he had been so lately congratulating himself that no report of the kind had ever been circulated about himself. He said:
‘“Sir! this is no laughing matter; I assure you it is not.”
‘I could not resist asking, if I was to conclude that there was no truth in the report.
‘“Truth, sir! it’s a lie from beginning to end. I don’t like to speak too decidedly about any lady; and I’ve a great respect for Miss Tomkinson; but I do assure you, sir, I’d as soon marry one of Her Majesty’s Life Guards. I would rather; it would be more suitable. Miss Tomkinson is a very worthy lady; but she’s a perfect grenadier.”
‘He grew very nervous. He was evidently insecure. He thought it not impossible that Miss Tomkinson might come and marry him, vi et armis. I am sure he had some dim idea of abduction in his mind. Still, he was better off than I was; for he was in his own house, and report had only engaged him to one lady; while I stood, like Paris, among three contending beauties. Truly, an apple of discord had been thrown into our little town. I suspected at the time, what I know now, that it was Miss Horsman’s doing; not intentionally, I will do her the justice to say. But she had shouted out the story of my behaviour to Miss Caroline up Mrs. Munton’s trumpet; and that lady, possessed with the idea that I was engaged to Mrs. Rose, had imagined the masculine pronoun to relate to Mr. Morgan, whom she had seen only that afternoon tête-à-tête with Miss Tomkinson, condoling with her in some tender deferential manner, I’ll be bound.
Delphi Complete Works of Elizabeth Gaskell Page 322
