The scenes that caused such torment never happened. William couldn’t say the same thing. If only she’d known—
After she had accepted the high school ring of her first steady boyfriend, William’s letters took a turn. If the duration in between them served as evidence, he didn’t visit her as much as he had before. In fact, he didn’t visit unless he sensed that she needed him in her moments of deep sorrow and despair. He never once failed her during those times despite the anguish she must’ve caused him in return. Nonetheless, she captured a glimpse of his sadness in the letters that spoke of her marriage to Chad. The only thing that overshadowed his pain? His overwhelming need to protect her in every way he could.
At last she arrived at the letter where he talked about their first meeting in Normandy. His obvious joy as the hero that conquered their obstinate wall leapt from off the pages. The images he painted of that event made her laugh as only he could. He wrote her a letter each time he visited her thereafter. The detail, as well as his comments, both delighted and amazed her.
All of that changed with the last entry in his journal. In this letter he spoke about the final time they were together. She could feel his agony, his desolation, and pain as easily as she had her own. How she hated being the reason for it. Why did she—even for one minute—believe Gustavus? Oh, how she wished she could take it all back. She shook her head as her gaze fell on the final thoughts recorded in his journal.
Ah, Katie, can you not in any way understand the love I have for you is pure, perfect, and unconditionally yours? There is nothing in your world or mine that could ever equal it or destroy it—least of all another woman. All you need do is take it.
Katie released a ragged breath as she closed William’s journal. She slid down the length of the cushions and turned onto her side. All the while she held onto the book. Somehow it made her feel close to him. In a strange sort of way, it seemed he sat beside her. As she centered her thoughts on William, her eyelids grew heavier and heavier still. One thought occupied her mind as she drifted toward peaceful slumber. She had to find a way back to him—she just had to because she loved him more than she could ever express.
“Please, William,” she silently whispered. “Please, please forgive me.”
****
Muted sunlight awakened her. Yet full consciousness lagged far behind. As memory returned, she looked down and found her arms empty. At once she bolted upright and looked for William’s journal. She didn’t find it. Donnie must’ve returned and taken it, just as he said he would.
Dear Donnie. She wished she could’ve seen him so she could thank him for the gift. A gift that wouldn’t serve any purpose unless she somehow fixed her mistake. Would William listen? Would he give her a second chance?
She chose the words she would say with the greatest of care. While she showered, she practiced the speech over and over again. Rather than wear her jeans, she chose her blue, three-tiered Renaissance dress that William adored. He said he loved it because the color matched her eyes. She brushed the tangles from her hair and fussed with her makeup. Katie studied the results in her full-length mirror.
“All right then,” she said aloud. “I suppose this is as good as it will get today. Moment of truth time.”
Her heart picked up its pace as she entered her living room. She stood in the center and swallowed past the dryness in her throat. “William? Can you hear me? I need you. Please come and talk to me, it’s really important. Please?”
For several minutes she stood there and waited for his arrival. He didn’t come. When fatigue set in, she sat down on the sofa and waited a while longer. Why didn’t he come as he once promised he would? All throughout the day she paced and she sat. More than once she flipped through a magazine she didn’t read and tossed it. Along the way she wiped the tears whenever they fell, and they fell often. The wait—and the fact that William ignored her plea—took its toll on her battered heart. She didn’t know what else to do.
Well past midnight and any of the hope she had carried, Katie entered her bedroom. She changed out of the dress and hung it up in the closet. As the lump in her throat grew ever larger, she slipped into her nightgown. She sat down on the edge of her bed.
As the first tears fell, she gazed heavenward. “Oh, William, you said if I called your name, you’d come…but you didn’t. You didn’t. Then again, how can I blame you?”
****
Katie slept very little that night. Despite her exhaustion, she left her bed just as the sun peeked over the horizon. She slipped into her favorite pair of jeans and her black flannel shirt. Both had seen far better days. No matter. What she looked like didn’t make any difference now. After she brushed her teeth and hair, she headed outside. She didn’t have a clue as to why. Perhaps she simply needed fresh air and ample space in which to mourn. As she gazed about the area, the path she had walked so many times with William beckoned. Without a second thought, she accepted the invitation.
A soft breeze and the song of morning birds accompanied Katie as she wandered down the pathway. The bareness of winter still lingered. Before long the trees would wake up, though. They would dress themselves in the vivid colors of spring. The wild grass and flowers would follow in vibrant display. Would she see the beauty of it now—or for the way she felt dead inside, would she only see the weeds?
From afar off, the Johanssons’ dog caught sight of her. With his usual gusto, the basset hound bounded toward her. The moment he arrived at her side, the dog sat down in the hope of some love and affection. Katie never felt less like giving it. Nonetheless, Bobo’s big, droopy eyes and a wild tail that created a small vortex of dust coaxed a response. Katie stooped down, scratched him behind his ears, and rubbed the soft fur along the sides of his neck. In turn, he gave her a lick and dropped his head against her body.
She eased him back onto his haunches and shook a playful finger at him. “You men are all alike. You capture a woman’s heart with no more than that soulful look and then you have us eating out of your hands. I’m not at all sure that’s—”
“You mean that’s all it takes? Really? What about the flowers, chocolates, and the long list of ridiculous promises? All this time I believed if a man could just discover the correct combination to this most mystifying of all secrets, he’d have his lady’s heart without condition.”
Katie gasped and leapt to her feet. She whirled around and almost stumbled right through him. At once he grabbed her waist and steadied her feet.
“Hello, Katie.”
“Oh, William! What are you doing here? I mean, I didn’t think you were com—well, it’s just that I love you so much and…and… No, wait. I know I’m saying this backwards. First, I must tell you how very sorry I…I know now I should never have let Gus—”
William’s captivating kiss ended her mindless prattle. Not that she minded. She couldn’t remember a word of her rehearsed speech anyway.
****
Katie’s passionate response to his kiss acted as a balm to his soul. How he wished the kiss could go on forever. Despite all will to the contrary, he took a half-step back. Without relinquishing his hold as she caught a much needed breath, he gazed into her glistening eyes. He caught the first tear as it fell. “Why the tears, my love?”
She brushed them away and sniffed. “I waited for you all day yesterday and half of the night. You didn’t come. I thought you’d at least come and tell me you didn’t want me anymore. I’d given up hope for even that and I thought…I thought maybe you couldn’t be bothered. Not that I would’ve blamed you because—”
He put a finger against her lips. “I told you I’d always come, even if it took a little more time than either of us might desire. Don’t you remember?”
“Yes, you did say that. I guess for all the turmoil, I must’ve let that part slip my mind.”
He gave her a wink. “Understandable. I won’t hold it against you, I promise.”
“It’s just that I really, really wanted to see you—needed to see you.”<
br />
“You don’t know how much that warms my heart. I didn’t know for sure what you wanted to say.”
“Does that mean instead of ignoring me, you were with some soldiers before you came then?”
He took hold of her hand and turned her toward her house. As they strolled along the path, he nodded. “A suicide bomber took the lives of several of our special forces at an army base in Iraq. Perhaps you saw it on the news?”
“No, I didn’t. I haven’t watched TV for…for awhile.”
“Well, as you might expect, all of them needed time and a bit of help as they worked through a wide range of emotions.”
“I’m so sorry. They, as well as their families, must be devastated.”
“They are. One of them had just found out his wife had given birth to their son. He had but one week before his scheduled leave.”
She stopped and faced him. With the softest possible touch, she laid a hand against his cheek and caressed his face with her thumb. An incredible blend of love and concern filled the depths of her beautiful blue eyes. He reveled in it.
“I wished I could somehow take away some of the sorrow I see on your face. I just don’t know how.”
He took her hand and kissed it. “Didn’t you know? You already have.”
The barest hint of a smile curved her lips. “How might I have done so wondrous a thing?”
“As always, by mere presence alone. However, I must admit your heartfelt ‘I love you’ a moment ago helped more than you might guess. To be quite honest, I didn’t think I’d ever hear you say it again. I mourned the loss.”
She gulped. “Oh, William, I never once stopped loving you. In fact, I found out I couldn’t stop no matter how hard I tried.”
“You tried?”
“For a while, yes, I did. I thought if I did, it would stop the pain.”
The desire, if even a passing one, made him wince. “May I ask what changed your mind?”
“The impossibility of it, for one. My mom had something to do with it as well.”
“She did?”
“Um-hmm. She paid me an unexpected visit. No matter what I said, she wouldn’t leave until I told her the reason for my sorrow. I ended up telling her everything that had happened between us since I met you in Normandy. I left nothing out. The story didn’t surprise her in the least.” Katie paused for a moment. “I hope you don’t mind?”
“No, I don’t mind at all.”
“That’s good, because she saw you, you know.”
He gave her a sideways glance. “Did she?”
“Yep.”
“Would that have been at the hospital while you were in your coma?”
Her mouth dropped. “You knew?”
“Well, not for certain. A couple of times it seemed she gazed right into my eyes. I wondered then if she could see me or if that exact mark just happened to be her point of focus.”
“No, she saw you. Several times, in fact. Want to know something else?”
“I’m all ears.”
“She’s quite happy with our—um—unusual relationship. Furthermore, she told me if I looked hard enough, I could find a way to mend my mistake in sending you away. What do you think of that?”
“I think her wisdom isn’t anything less than phenomenal.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Now. You said she had something to do with it. Did anything or anyone else have a hand in this fine reunion of ours? If so, I’ll need to thank them.”
“I, uh, don’t want you to get upset at him or at me, okay?”
“Okay.”
“You promise?”
He chuckled. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
She took a deep breath. “Donnie brought me your journal in repayment, he said, for what we did for him and Rachel. I spent an entire night reading it.”
He grinned. “How could I possibly get upset over that? They are your letters after all. Besides, you heard them all once before, even if you don’t remember much about it.”
The faraway look in her eyes accompanied a wistful smile. “I wish I did. If I had only remembered them, I would never have let Gustavus use me like he did. I would never have doubted you and I most certainly would never have sent you away. I hope you believe me. More important, I hope you can forgive me and maybe get back to where we were before I messed things up?”
William shook his head as he pulled her in close with a single arm. Though he held her fast, he used a gentle touch as he caressed the side of her cheek and traced down along her jaw. From there he cupped her face as he took full possession of her lips. He hoped his kiss told her she hadn’t done anything that needed his forgiveness. That he loved her more than he could express with words alone. If his kiss could speak, he hoped it said his love for her was both endless as well as timeless. In every way imaginable, he was hers and hers alone.
She must’ve got the message for she responded with a kiss of her own. Through it she gave without hesitation or reservation, the gift of her heart and soul. He could feel it as easily as he did the sun. She promised him every moment of forever and everything forever included. Though he already knew the answer, he spoke the question aloud as he ended the kiss—just so he could hear her say it. “Are you sure, Katie? Will I be enough for you in the years to come?”
“Yes, I’m sure. There is nothing in this life or in the life beyond that I want as much as I want you.” Of a sudden, her eyes lit up. “No—wait. Maybe there is something else I want. If not more, then at least just as much, and you’re just going to have to find a way to give it.”
“Something else? Like what?”
“Like more time with you than what I’ve had so far. You might say that’s impossible. But I think I just might have a solution to the problem—at least, I hope I do.”
He assumed the most serious look he could manage. No easy feat there. Especially not when he wanted to shout his joy all the way to Heaven and back. “You do?”
“Yep.”
“I see. Mind letting me in on the details?”
A touch of mischief filled her eyes as she cleared her throat in a most exaggerated manner. “There isn’t much to it, really. I’m just calling in my voucher, Sergeant William Malloy Griffin. Lest you’ve forgotten, you lost a bet a while back. Therefore, you still owe me one very special, out-of-the-ordinary request. One you must present to General Thomas right away.”
Chapter Nineteen
“This is quite the birthday bash, don’t you think? I’ve never seen anything like it ever before. Then again, I bet no one else has for that matter either.” Donnie’s grin broadened as he gave Rachel a gentle nudge. Yet he never once broke eye contact with Katie. “Don’t worry. Even though Rach deserves full credit for putting this shindig together, you can thank me for it later anyway.”
For a moment, Katie gazed toward the couples who filled the backyard of Rachel’s lovely beach home in Galveston. Some of them were engaged in conversation with each other. Others sat at the tables and enjoyed food from the various buffets suitable to their taste and form. At one time it might’ve surprised her to know that spirits ate. It didn’t anymore. Many couples danced to the music provided by Jared and Justin who, in hilarious fashion, acted as deejays.
Rachel had insisted Katie’s cousins come and take part in the festivities tonight. After all, she said, if not for Katie’s cahoots partners, she and Don would not be together now. The twins took pleasure, as well as full credit, for that.
They took just as much delight in her and William’s relationship once they met him. She hadn’t known about his visit until afterward. The moment he left them that day, they called her. William had said that since he couldn’t seek approval from her father right now, he thought he would ask them instead. The twins put him through the wringer of course, as only they could. William didn’t take offense though. Jared said by the end of their discussion, they were all the best of friends. Justin told her they didn’t think another man on this earth—or one beyond it for that matter—deserve
d her heart more than he did. Therefore, they said, they gave them their blessing. Their love and support meant more than she could say.
From all appearances, the mortals in attendance tonight found it delightful there were others in this world that were in love with—and loved in return by—spirits. Here they could celebrate it with those who were just like themselves. She found it such a beautiful thing to see.
She gazed first at Don and then at Rachel. “I think it’s amazing. Thank you both so very much for the gift. I’ve enjoyed myself far more than you might guess.”
“Our absolute pleasure.” Rachel looked out over the crowd. “You know what though? This has been just as much fun for me and Don as it has been for you, I’m sure. Everyone I’ve talked to this evening says the same thing. So Don and I thought maybe we could throw this same kind of party every year. Imagine how many couples we might have ten years from now. What do you think?”
“I think it’s a brilliant idea. Maybe by then we really would need a night at Disneyland reserved especially for us.” She giggled as she gazed at Don. “Haunted mansion, here we come.”
“Now that one I could go for,” he said. “I didn’t tell you this when we spoke of it before, but my uncle took me there once a very long time ago. Up until I met Rachel, I considered it the best day of my life. I knew then I had to go back someday. I never did.”
Katie shrugged. “What stopped you? The way you all pop in and out, traveling to Disneyland whenever you feel like it should be a walk in the park.”
Don took hold of Rachel’s hand as he turned and gazed into her eyes. “Well you see, once upon a time I promised my sweetheart I’d take her there. Therefore, I didn’t have the heart to go without her.”
As Rachel leaned in close for Don’s kiss, William approached them. Though his eyes were filled with amusement, he shook his head and tsked.
“Looks like I’ve arrived just in time to rescue my lady from this shameless spectacle.” He turned toward her and offered her his hand. “Care to dance with me, my love?”
Love Letters from Heaven Page 22
