by Arlene James
“It’s late, and I’m tired.”
“I’m tired, too,” she said, folding her arms. “I’m tired of you avoiding me.”
He started to deny that he’d done any such thing, but honesty compelled him to mutter, “It’s just my way of dealing with things. I have to step back to get some perspective sometimes.”
She made a delicate, snorting sound. “Great. Then you surely realize that you can’t avoid the issues of your past forever.”
Mimicking her stance by folding his arms, Jack put his back to the wall. “Look, I went to South Texas, didn’t I?”
“Yes, and when that didn’t turn out as you wanted, you came right back here to hide from your problems.”
“I wish,” he muttered.
“To try to hide from them, then.”
When she was right, she was right. “Point taken.”
“All right, then,” she said, “so what are you going to do about it?”
“What can I do?” he asked sourly.
She stated the obvious. “You can get yourself to Fort Worth and ask some questions. I’ve asked some questions myself, and I know that you have the address of the house where your family lived when you were small. You can go door-to-door, if you have to. Someone has to remember your family and—”
“We’ve done that,” Jack interrupted, “and we came away with more questions than we started with!”
“So? At least you have a place to start. That’s precious, Jack. I don’t think you can realize how precious. You can’t understand what I would give for any clue, any hint of just a place to begin asking questions about my past.”
He exhaled, sharply. “And what if I don’t find answers this time?”
“Then you won’t be any worse off, will you?” she retorted. “But you won’t know unless you go.”
Well, he couldn’t argue with that, and he resented the fact because he could already feel the hope rising in him.
“God had to put an amnesiac in my way,” he muttered.
“Maybe that’s the only way He could convince you to do something this important,” she said.
“This stupid, you mean.”
“It’s not stupid to seek the truth,” she said firmly, “and if my amnesia is the price for you finding out the truth about your past, then it’s worth it to me.”
The utter selflessness of that statement both humbled and thrilled him.
“Oh, Kendra,” Jack said, reaching out to cup her cheek with one palm, her long golden hair tumbling across his arm. “You delight me and break my heart all at the same time.”
She said nothing to that, merely bowed her head.
He pulled her into his arms, just holding her. His cheek resting against the top of her head, he let himself feel whole and comforted for several long moments, until she whispered against his chest, “Want some company on your trip?”
Jack chuckled. “Don’t think we’ll be needing your Spanish this time, but sure.”
She sighed with contentment and his arms instinctively tightened around her.
“We’ll head out Saturday morning,” he decided. “That’ll give us time to rest up and make our plans.”
She pushed away then, saying happily, “Maddie and Darcy are going to feed the animals.”
Jack shook his head, laughing softly. “I should have known you’d have it well in hand.”
“I just want to help,” she told him.
“Sure you do,” he said. “I may not know much about you, but I know that.”
“Don’t feel bad,” she joked wryly, skipping away, “I don’t know much about me, either.”
Chuckling, he watched her go. Actually, he reflected silently, he knew quite a lot about her. He knew that she was a treasure, no matter what her name might be. She didn’t have a lazy bone in her body, yet she possessed a peacefulness that he felt even amidst all the turmoil of his own life. She was bright and beautiful, kind and thoughtful, caring and brave, quiet but not timid, gentle but not weak. God knew that she had certainly accepted her circumstances with far more grace than he had accepted his, and despite being lost, and confused, her thoughts were more for others—for him—than herself.
What he didn’t know was how a woman with no name and no past could be everything that he had ever wanted.
Chapter Eleven
Knowing that Jack was in the house and resolved to keep digging into his past, Kendra slept well. As usual, she woke early, despite staying up late the night before, and hurried out to the barn to find that the heifer had delivered a healthy calf but was in some distress. She thought about examining the heifer, momentarily struck by the fact that she knew exactly how to go about it. Instead, she rushed back to the house. Relieved to find Jack at the breakfast table, she blurted out her concerns.
“You need a vet to take a look at the heifer. She’s delivered a calf, which seems just fine, but something’s not right with the mama.”
Jack’s dark brows drew together as he took out his cell phone. When he got the veterinarian on the line, he said simply that he had a late-springing heifer in need of treatment.
“Not sure,” he said in reply to something that the other person obviously asked. “Haven’t seen the cow myself. I’ll let you talk to the one who has.”
He offered the phone to Kendra. Uncertain, she gingerly took the small rectangle and lifted it to her ear. “H-hello?”
“Yeah,” said a sleepy, male voice, “what makes you think there’s a problem?”
The words tumbled out of Kendra’s mouth without thought. “The calf is several hours old, but there’s no afterbirth. The heifer is agitated but not straining.”
The animal doc sighed. “Okay. Be there as quick as I can. Tell Colby to have a thermos of coffee ready. I had a late night, and I’ll need it.”
“It’ll be ready,” Kendra promised. The vet ended the call, so Kendra handed the phone back to Jack, who calmly pulled his plate forward and began to eat again.
“Shouldn’t we get down to the barn?” she asked.
Jack shrugged. “Can we do anything?”
She thought about it and shook her head. “Not really.”
“Well, then, we’d better eat while we can. It’ll take Dr. Anderson a while to get here. He’s got to come from Plainview.”
“Plainview? Where’s that?”
“About fifty minutes southwest,” Jack answered.
“That’s awful!” Kendra exclaimed.
“Yep. We make do on our own as often as we can, but sometimes we just have to wait for the vet.”
“Maybe we could get the calf to nurse,” she said, thinking. “That might help start new contractions.”
“Okay,” Jack told her approvingly, “but first we eat.”
Lupita sat a plate of sausage and eggs in front of her, but Kendra shook her head. “I’ll just make another pot of coffee first. The doctor said to have a thermos ready when he got here.”
Jack chuckled. “Tom always wants a thermos of coffee ready, even in the middle of the afternoon in July.” He nodded at Lupita, saying, “We know what to do. Relax.”
Kendra sat down and made herself eat, but she couldn’t help thinking about that heifer. The moment that Jack pushed away his empty plate, she popped up to her feet. He rolled his eyes. “Let me get my hat.”
She followed him into the hallway and out through the carport to the truck, which he drove down to the barn, explaining, “I find that when Doc Anderson is around, I’m often sent to town for one thing or another. Might as well have transportation on hand.”
He parked the truck next to the corral on one end of the barn and got out. Kendra hurried around the truck to slip through the metal-pipe fencing. The heifer ignored her, but the calf bawled and trotted around behind its mother. When it
tried to nurse, the heifer sidestepped. Jack went to the toolbox in the back of the truck and took out a length of rope while Kendra ran her hands over the heifer in an effort to soothe it before slipping around to catch the calf in her arms. It kicked, but she managed to immobilize and calm it. As she approached the heifer with the calf, Jack lifted a loop, twirled it and neatly tossed it over the heifer’s head, drawing her in and snugging her to the corral fence.
“Whoa there, mama,” he crooned. “We don’t mean any harm.”
Kendra carried the calf to the mother and went down on her haunches, pressing its nose to the udder. The cow sidled away. Kendra followed with the calf, effectively trapping the skittish cow against the fence. This time, when she pressed the calf’s nose to the udder, it quickly latched on to a teat, so Kendra let it go and rose, backing up a step. The heifer bawled a protest, but didn’t kick the calf away. Dr. Anderson pulled up more than half an hour later and gave the heifer an injection. Within minutes, the heifer delivered a second, stillborn calf then dumped the afterbirth.
Beside herself with regret, Kendra knelt beside the dead calf, murmuring, “I should’ve thought of that, checked for a second heartbeat.”
“Wouldn’t have found one,” the older, heavyset man decreed, groaning as he got down on one knee next to the lifeless body. “Look at the misshapen nostrils.”
Realizing that the calf had never been viable, Kendra whispered a Latin term, “Sinus clauditur nares deformis.”
“You know something about animal medicine,” the veterinarian stated, jowls quivering. “Wouldn’t be looking for work, would you?”
Kendra stared at him with wide, agonized eyes. Was this something she could consider? How did she know what she knew? And even if he would hire her without a real identity, how could she leave Jack? The weight of it all suddenly felt immense, and she quite unexpectedly burst into tears.
She heard boots hit the ground as Jack leaped over the fence. Then he gathered her into his arms and pulled her to her feet.
“Hush, babe. You’re not responsible for this.”
“I know, but––”
“You did all you could, more than anyone else could.”
“It’s not that,” she sniffed.
“We’ve got one healthy calf, and that’s all we ever expected,” he pointed out.
That was something, at least, Kendra told herself. Nodding, she swiped at the tears that trickled down her cheeks. “You’re right.”
“I want you to go to the house,” Jack said. “You’re tired, and you need to rest. Take the truck. I’ll walk or ride back with Tom.”
“I’ll walk,” she insisted, embarrassed by her outburst. “I walk twice a day. It’s not far, and it’ll do me good.”
Jack smoothed her hair and cupped her face in his hands, his golden-brown eyes holding hers until he leaned forward slightly and placed a gentle kiss in the center of her forehead. Smiling wanly, Kendra pulled away. She needed to be alone, to think, to pray. To remember. Yet, remembering could take her away from the one person she most wanted to be near.
She shut off that train of thought and numbly crawled through the fence to walk around the corner of the building, intending to cut through the barn and out the front. The dog, Nipper, ran up to her, tail wagging and tongue hanging out of its mouth. Pausing, she stooped to pet the animal, instinctively knowing that doing so would lift her spirits. She heard Tom Anderson say, “That’s quite a gal you’ve got there.”
She lifted her head, listening for Jack’s reply. “Yes, she is,” he said. “Quite a woman.”
“New romance brewing?” the affable veterinarian asked offhandedly.
Kendra’s heart stopped beating until finally Jack answered with a dull, “No.”
She closed her eyes against the tears that welled once more. Then she sucked in a deep, tremulous breath, ruffled the dog’s fur, then went on her way, determined not to be disappointed. What else could Jack have said, after all? What man in his right mind would romance a woman who didn’t even know her own name? What man found the woman of his dreams in a wrecked car, wearing a bridal veil with her blue jeans?
She wished suddenly that she had not volunteered to accompany him to Fort Worth tomorrow. But what choice did she have? He needed to open himself to his past so he wouldn’t close himself to his family, and she needed to know that he would be well after she had gone from here. For surely she must go. Soon.
* * *
After the events of the morning, Jack couldn’t bring himself to stay away from the house. He needed to be near Kendra in case she remembered, in case she...needed him. To keep busy, he updated the books. It was all done by computer now, from cattle registration to tracking expenses, but that didn’t make it any less time-consuming, especially as Belle had kept up James’s habit of making entries in a daily diary, noting the activities on the ranch. Jack scribbled notes here and there and tried to keep up, but he really had no heart for recordkeeping. He resorted to dumping in comments about the work he’d done on the Lindley place, and a visceral yearning unexpectedly took hold of him.
He seemed to need to be wherever Kendra was, even though being near her had become as much pain as pleasure. He couldn’t forget that every moment could be his last with her. She could remember in a flash all that she’d left behind—and then leave him behind. That being the case, tomorrow would be both torture and treasure, but he couldn’t bring himself to forego the latter in order to avoid the former.
Kendra seemed even more quiet than usual at lunch and dinner, not even speaking when, at the evening meal, he informed his sisters that he and Kendra would be traveling to Fort Worth the next morning to see if they could dig up any more clues about the family history.
“Oh, I’m so glad!” Maddie said. “Do you want me to see if Gray can meet you there?”
“No,” Jack said automatically, noticing the way that Kendra frowned.
“He might be able to get away, and I’m sure he could help,” Maddie pressed.
Jack made himself relax and smile appreciatively. “I’m sure he could, but I don’t want anything to delay Grayson getting to South Texas to look for Brian.”
Maddie subsided immediately. “Right. Good thinking.”
“Finding Brian is more important than answering questions about the past,” Violet agreed.
Kendra said nothing, just pushed her chuck-wagon beans around on her plate. Jack let the subject drop, only to find himself bringing it up later when they happened across each other on the patio late that evening.
She sat on the ground, legs folded, petting Nipper. The foolish thing instantly abandoned her to trot over to Jack. He spent a few seconds ruffling the dog’s mottled gray, black and brown fur, while Kendra got to her feet.
“I know you’re upset with me,” he began, before she could move away.
She shook her head. “No. Not upset. I’m more...concerned.”
“What I said to Maddie is true,” Jack insisted. “Finding Brian is more important right now than getting answers about the past.”
“But is that really why you don’t want Grayson to meet us in Fort Worth?” Kendra asked gently.
Jack clamped his jaws, but those hazel eyes could see the truth. Sometimes he thought they saw straight into his heart.
Finally, he shook his head. “I’m just not ready to meet my twin. I...I don’t know how to have a brother. All I’ve ever had are sisters.”
“Sisters,” Kendra echoed, emphasizing the plural.
A smile played around the corners of her lips, and the fact that he was so pleased to see it made him grumble, “I mean, a sister.”
“Uh-huh. Because you don’t really think of Maddie as your sister.”
He barely, mostly, controlled a grimace. “I’m...starting to.”
Kendra’s smile widened. Then she lai
d a hand lightly in the center of his chest. “I just don’t want to leave here thinking that you’re at odds with the rest of your family.”
“Leave?” He seized her by the upper arms. “Have you remembered something?”
“No,” she answered quickly. “I haven’t remembered. But surely someday I will regain my memories.”
Jack relaxed, relief sweeping through him. “Maybe not,” he said, sounding more hopeful than he’d meant to sound. “You heard what Doc Garth said. Your memory might never come back.”
Dropping her gaze, she swallowed hard. “That’s true, but I’ve been thinking about the car.”
“What about it?” Jack asked, frowning down at her.
“It’s a really nice car,” she said, “and it didn’t just materialize out of thin air. Someone within the mileage on the odometer has to be looking for it, and when they find it—because they will find it, if only because the police put out inquiries using the vehicle ID number—then they’ll find me, and that has to lead...somewhere. Don’t you think?”
He hadn’t thought at all, Jack realized. He’d only brooded. Now that she had brought up the subject of the car, though, he could see that she was right, and the thought horrified him. The only surprise was that someone hadn’t come for the car—and her—already! It had been nearly three weeks since he’d seen that hot red car driving too fast along Franken Road. Why hadn’t someone connected with the car, if not the veil, come looking for her? He would have, and he’d only known her for three weeks.
Three weeks?
How had she come to mean so much to him in only a few weeks?
She looked down at his hand, which gripped her arm too tightly, as if he could make her stay with him. Releasing her, he abruptly stepped back.
“Better get some sleep,” he muttered. “We need to be out of here by 5:00 a.m.”
She nodded, smiling wanly. “Right. That’s early even for me.”
“Good night, then,” he said, but she was the one who turned away, only to pause after a single step and look back at him.
