by WB McKay
Graulfv gripped my arm, letting out a slightly more manly, but still utterly panicked, shriek. He recovered first, grabbing the axe from his back and jumping forward to strike.
"Stop!" I called.
He had too much momentum to end his swing, but he slowed it, and his axe clanged on the volcanic rock instead. "Huh," he said, staring into the creature's opened mouth. "It's not attacking."
I let out the breath I'd been holding. "I think this is the sloof," I said, trying to wrap my head around the idea of riding a beast that was straight out of nightmares. "But why is it sitting here with its mouth open?"
I walked around the gaping mouth to study its body. The gray, purple, and red of organs and muscles were fully exposed to view. The eyes were large empty orbs that allowed me to look at a warped picture of the interior of the open mouth. Upon closer inspection, the organs weren't hanging out, but were encased in a completely clear skin. The same with the eyes.
"I think I understand why the mouth is open," said Graulfv.
I walked back to the front of the nightmare whale and found him peering inside. "No." I shook my head violently. "Not going to happen."
Graulfv met my gaze, sympathy in his eyes. "I'm not excited about it either, but I think climbing inside is the only way."
He was right. We hadn't found a cave entrance. I didn't have any other options in mind. And yet… "Why can't we ride on its back?" My voice came out much weaker than I'd intended.
Graulfv tugged at his beard. "We haven't found a cave entrance," he reminded me. "I don't believe it's on the surface. The sloof must take us under the lava."
I thought about that for a minute. Magical armor or not, I didn't relish the idea of trying to push my body through molten rock. Being inside the whale would at least give me some room to breath. "Well, I guess we have to, don't we?"
"I'll go in first," said Graulfv, his foot already stepping past the huge teeth. I had to resist the urge to grab him and pull him back to safety.
The sloof let out a low hum that sounded comforting. "That didn't sound at all like a satisfied 'I can't wait to swallow this tasty morsel' noise to you, did it?"
Graulfv turned to offer me his hand. He didn't say anything, just gave me a reassuring smile.
I held onto Graulfv and stepped onto the beast's squishy tongue. It didn't move, thankfully. I placed my free hand on Haiku's hilt at my hip and brought my trailing foot inside the sloof.
As soon as my foot cleared its lips, the sloof's jaw creaked shut. The effect was made much less disturbing by the fact that I could see through its head like a window.
I'd love to say the trip through the lava was amazing and surreal, and I guess it was, but that's not what I was focused on. My claustrophobia and I managed to miss a lot of the amazing and surreal moments of my life while we explored the depths of irrational terror. It didn't help when my irrational fear was met with a lot of completely rational ones, like burning alive under an ocean of lava.
Once the sloof's mouth was closed, it flopped off the rocks and into the lava. When it began to submerge my claustrophobia caught up to the situation I was in. The inside of the sloof's mouth was small, moist, and though I couldn't feel the consuming heat of the lava, I was sweating my ass off. I slumped down on the creature's tongue and tried to slow my panicked breathing.
The lava enveloped the top of the sloof, and my breath caught in my throat. Even if I went crazy and cut myself out of this thing with my swords, I didn't have anywhere to go. I was buried under molten lava. With my armor, I might not be burnt to death in seconds, but that would probably be worse. I would die of thirst stuck in molten rock like a bug in amber. Or, if I was lucky, some unimaginable hell beast would come along and eat me while I was helpless to stop it.
Helpless. Can't move. Lava. Bad. Bad. Bad.
From far away I heard Graulfv's voice. "It will be all right. Soon, we'll pass through the lava and we'll be in open space once more. Breathe. Let it out."
My breath rushed out in a gust and I sucked in a ragged gasp to refill my lungs. "You don't know we'll be in open space," I spit out before sucking in another breath. I'd closed my eyes, and after the initial surge of intense panic, that seemed to help. I could imagine that I wasn't stuck inside a small space wrapped in even more death.
"And another," said Graulfv. I could feel his warm hand rubbing gentle circles on my back.
I let out another puff of air I didn't realize I'd been holding in, and the cycle repeated. I don't know how many times Graulfv had to remind me to breathe, but eventually, the sloof surfaced and beached itself.
I scrambled out so fast, it's surprising I didn't rip myself to shreds on its huge teeth. The sloof let out what sounded like a plaintive noise, and fixed me with its baleful, empty gaze before sliding back under the glowing red rock and disappearing.
"Great, now I'm getting sympathy from creatures that look like rejects from a shitty horror movie."
Graulfv laughed and patted me on the back. "The sloof seemed to be in distress the whole time we were inside. I think it was afraid you were going to attack. I bet that's happened to it before."
When I tried to imagine the interaction from the perspective of the sloof I shuddered so hard my back popped. "Ugh. Carrying creatures inside of me that could try to rip their way out? What could ever possess it to do that after it had happened once?"
"You forget what the mask we are trying to steal does," said Graulfv, his eyes looking haunted.
"Shit." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "That poor horror show is ferrying people down here against its will." I'd been sucked into this situation trying to repay my debt to The Morrigan, but it may have just turned out I had stumbled into a way to actually do some good. "We have to get that mask and put a stop to this nonsense. This is what I do, you know. I keep dangerous magical objects out of the wrong hands." Graulfv nodded, but in a way that made me think he was humoring me. That was fine. "Let's get that mask and free that freaky, nightmare, lava-whale thing."
"Sloof."
"Yeah, okay." There was no getting used to that name. "We have a goal now. I'm excited."
"We had a goal before," said Graulfv.
"But now it matters," I pointed out. It was funny how much of a difference that made.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Once I'd recovered from my ordeal inside the sloof, I finally looked at my new surroundings. To say they were incredible would be an understatement.
I'd been in my share of caves in my day, but they had nothing on Derinia. The cave the sloof had dropped us in was somewhere around four hundred feet tall. I estimated that by the tree that towered above us. It had to be at least as big as some of the tallest redwoods I'd ever seen.
You'd think that there wouldn't be enough light in a cave hidden under an ocean of lava, but you'd be wrong. The ceiling of the cave glowed orange and red, undulating with the current of the molten sea. Some sort of magic held it in place rather than letting it pour in on our heads.
While I looked up in awe, Graulfv pulled me back a few steps by my arm. "What's the deal?"
There was a hiss and the smell of smoke. Graulfv pointed at a burning trail that ran down what I had first thought to be a tree. Lava had dripped from the ceiling of the cave and ran down the monolith, burning away the vines and moss that had coated it. The tower was actually made of shiny black rock. "Obsidian," I said, admiring the huge spire.
Graulfv wasn't looking at the structure any more, he was looking out at the rest of the cave. I counted a dozen more towers like the one next to us. And the ceiling wasn't the only thing providing the light. Here and there were massive floating balls of fire with tentacles dangling underneath. "Again with the jellyfish lighting," I marvelled, remembering the glowing jellyfish that had lit the cave of the sea dragon on my very first MOD case.
"This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Look at the plants on the stone tower." Graulfv had returned to studying the burnt trail the lava had made. "It's grow
ing back already."
I stepped up beside him and followed his gaze. As we watched, moss spread over the recently exposed rock, and other tiny plants began to grow out of the moss. "Wow. In another few minutes, it will be like it never happened."
The breeze in the cave shifted, carrying with it the smell of smoke. Part of the rain forest was on fire. That had to be a common occurrence in this place. The super speed growth would be required to keep such lush vegetation alive in a place constantly under attack by fire. That explained how creatures like the lava snake were possible. I'd always wondered how an ecosystem with fiery beings could function. The answer was simple: magic.
"So, where do we go from here?" asked Graulfv.
In answer, we heard a voice raised as if to carry to a large group. "Just this way."
I couldn't see the source, but I could tell the direction. "Well, you heard them. 'Just this way'." I pointed toward a path covered with new grass. "Let's see what's going on over here."
We pushed through the foliage that stuck out from every angle. A black frog crawled up the trunk of one of the trees closest to the path. Besides its dark coloration, it looked like any other tropical frog. Then a bug flew by and its tongue darted out to snatch it from the air. Instead of pink flesh, a literal tongue of flame wrapped around the insect, burning it to a crisp by the time it disappeared into the amphibian's mouth a half second later.
I shook my head and pushed forward, walking toward the low murmur of voices. It reminded me of the low hum of office gossip. Not quite loud enough to be overheard from a distance unless someone was careless, or wanted to be noticed.
The foliage gave way without warning, leaving us in a clearing with no sign of the source of the voices. The only remarkable structure in the clearing was a circle of small hills of lava that had cooled to black rock with small red cracks.
"Oh, we have another guest," said a voice from that direction. "Who wants this one? She looks feisty."
"Do you think they're talking about me?" I asked.
"Seems safe to assume," agreed Graulfv.
"But how are they seeing me, when I can't see them?" I walked closer, trying to see around the hills of lava for the source of the voice. "Graulfv? Do you see anyone?" He shook his head. "They must be small folk. They're not talking nearly fast enough to be pixies."
"Up here," said the voice when I'd gotten within a few feet of the mounds of hardening rock.
I looked up, and realized that the rock had moved and was looking down at me from two protruding stalks. "Oh. Hello," I said, trying to hide my surprise. It took every ounce of my control not to utter the most annoying phrase I heard with annoying frequency. 'What are you?' had to be the most irritating question ever asked.
Thankfully, I was rescued from my awkward pause by the creature's solicitousness. "Hello," he said. "I think I'll take you through the trials myself. Shall we wait for the rest of your entourage to arrive?"
The way he moved, the stalks moving in and out, and his head weaving slowly through the air, reminded me of the bright yellow slugs that filled the redwoods I called home. The more I looked over the shape of what I'd assumed were hills, the more obvious it became that they were giant lava slugs. I'd always been strangely fascinated with the gooey creatures back home. "Um, entourage?" I asked. "I am entourage-less. It's just me and Graulfv."
"You're coming to the grand ball with only a single human as an escort? Cheeky!" There was a murmur from the rest of the assembled slugs. "Well, if we're not waiting for anyone else, let's get going."
"Let's get going where?" I asked. "What trials?"
"Ah, so this is your first time," said one of the other slugs. "That explains a lot."
The slug who I'd been talking to took back over. "Let me start at the beginning since you aren't above asking questions." He leaned down, fixing me with one of his eye stalks. It was actually quite cute. "My name is Kenulva." He gave me what I interpreted as a slug smile. "I'll be your guide through the trials you'll need to complete on your way to the masquerade. I'm not allowed to participate. I only show you from one challenge to the next, and then to the ballroom."
I smiled. I knew something about the tone of his voice sounded familiar. His tone sounded exactly like the cliché of a tour guide. He was our Tour Guide Barbie. His name was even Ken. That was too perfect. "Well, Ken, I find I'm pleased to meet you. You make me smile."
"My name is Kenulva—"
"Pfft," said a slug approaching the group from my left. "I don't know how they managed to get an invite. Not a single one of them passed the first trial. Shitty armor and not a good drop of magic between them."
"Well," said Ken, catching my look of concern. "You don't have anything to worry about. I can tell your armor is good quality. We should be on our way." He glided away at a good clip, making me think of the racing snail from The Neverending Story. "This way. The first trial is just over here."
I jogged to catch up with him, waving Graulfv along. "I'm Sophie Morrigan, by the way," I said, feeling the need to fill the silence as Ken moved across the ground, burning a path clean to the black dirt. I'd expected there would be rock just below the surface, but the constant death of the foliage produced a good layer of soil. "What's the first trial?"
Ken stopped, his large head swinging around to face me again. "Sophie Morrigan, daughter of The Morrigan and scourge of the Orani?"
"I don't know about the scourge part, but that's me," I replied. "It's getting weird that so many people know who I am before I meet them."
Ken made a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh. "With how fast you're making a reputation for yourself, it won't be long before everyone knows who you are." He started gliding again. "You're going to make a lovely mess of this ball when you get there."
I couldn't respond to that because it was exactly my intention, but it wouldn't do to tell anyone that. "So, like I asked, what is this first trial?"
"We're here," said Ken, pointing with one of his eye stalks. "Don't worry about the trials. I'm sure someone as powerful as you will have no trouble. These are designed to keep out the riffraff."
Ken's eye pointed to a sheet of lava. It poured out of a lava tube about fifteen feet up the cave wall. "Um. I think you're going to have to elaborate on what it is I do here."
"We walk through the lava," said Graulfv. If I hadn't been talking to him so much lately, the hint of fear in his tone would have been undetectable.
"Score one for the human!" said Ken, his eye stalks shooting up in a V shape like arms raised in celebration. He sounded more like a tour guide than ever. "You have to pass through this lavafall and come out the other side in one piece. It's fine if you need to supplement the protection of your armor with additional magic. It doesn't matter how you get through as long as you do."
"And if we realize that we won't be able to pass the test and decide to decline?" I asked, expecting I already knew the answer.
Ken's stalks made what amounted to a shrug. "You're welcome to do that, of course."
I nodded and asked the follow up I'd been prepared with. "Would we be allowed to leave unharmed?"
"The sloofs would not come for you," replied Ken, his tone matter-of-fact. "You wouldn't be attacked specifically for your failure to complete the trial."
"But, since that would mean I was not fireproof, I wouldn't last long in Derinia."
"It is a rough place to live under those circumstances," agreed Ken.
I swallowed, sizing up the lavafall. The gout of lava was about three feet thick, spilling into what I hoped was a shallow pool before turning into a thin stream and meandering into the distance. If it were made of water, it would have been incredibly cute. Being made of lava, it was awe-inspiring, and more than enough to kill me in an instant.
"Don't worry, Sophie," said Graulfv. "I can't believe Aengus would have anything less than the best in his personal collection."
Ken made an inarticulate noise. "Your armor is from Aengus's personal collection?" His stalks
twisted together in a gesture that conveyed obvious discomfort. "You're in his favor?"
I shot a glare at Graulfv and he looked appropriately abashed at spilling information that I hadn't told him to keep quiet. "Not exactly," I replied. Oh, screw it. Secrets were bullshit anyway. "We borrowed the armor with less than his express permission."
Ken let out a laugh that was far more genuine sounding than his tour guide Barbie voice. It even ended with a snort. "You stole armor from Aengus and are wearing it to a ball he is attending. You've definitely got stones like your mother, that's for sure."
"Don't you dare compare me to her," I said, my own laugh dying in my throat. "I'm getting fucking tired of that. We're different people."
Ken's slug grin flattened into a firm line. "Of course." He nodded his head toward the lavafall. "Please, whenever you're ready."
I walked forward, pushing my fear aside and holding close to my anger. If I was pissed off, it was easier to do something stupid. I stomped into the lava, my feet barely sinking into the molten rock. Before I could come to my senses, I plunged into the lava, pushing hard to overcome the thickness of it.
For all it affected me, it might as well have been a gentle waterfall. I pushed through the other side without so much as breaking a sweat. The ridiculousness of what I'd just done washed over me and my heart skipped a couple beats. I took a deep breath and walked around the other side in time to see Graulfv plunging into the glowing red curtain. "Man, that was incredibly stupid."
Graulfv came through the back side a few seconds later, his grin shining through his beard. "Man, this armor is amazing."
"It is," I agreed. "It's lucky for us the people it belonged to have been hunted to damn near extinction. Hurray."
Graulfv sobered at that, and I immediately felt like an asshole. "I'm sorry, both of you," I said as we walked back over to Ken. "Being in Faerie and having to deal with my mother has me on edge." And the Fleece is swinging my emotions around like the worst PMS I've ever had. I kept that thought to myself, neither of the dudes seemed likely to empathize.
