I could hear his heart race and a wonderful fragrance entered my nose. That's when I realized that I hadn't once been irritated by his werewolf scent. I really must have spent enough time around him for it to not affect me anymore. We really must have been together, not that I could deny his reaction to my bringing up when we had fallen in love. The smell of love was undeniable and it drew me to him.
I reached for his hand and he held my gaze.
"This is the quickest that you've ever warmed up to me after forgetting about us."
"Your feelings are genuine. I can tell that we shared something special. I just want to enjoy myself. Knowing me, I'm sure that the other times I'd had memory lapses, I was feeling sorry for myself."
He didn't say anything.
"You don't have to deny it. I know myself too well. Tell me about how we fell in love."
"Let's sit," he said, pointing to a patch of grass overlooking the lake. We got comfortable and he said, "You came back at the beginning of the school year, wanting to be my TA again. Something was different about you, but I couldn't get you to open up. You wouldn't talk about your travels or anything that'd happened. I could tell that you'd been through something traumatic. Definitely not the same girl who stormed into my classroom demanding werewolf blood. I could feel the sadness radiating from you as if it were my own."
"What did I tell you?"
"Not much at first, but then you admitted that you'd been to the castle and a lot had changed. You told me about your suspicions of Francine being in cahoots with Wes to start a war against the vampires. You really opened up. You were so relieved to be able to talk about everything that it began to pull you out of your depression. You were barely eating and you weren't hunting. I was afraid for your health if you were to lose any more weight. I got some blood bags and started sneaking them to you."
"How did you manage that?"
He smiled. "I would make you coffee or let you finish off my soda. It would all be laced with blood. I didn't dare put much in because I was afraid that you'd taste it and refuse. You didn't notice the blood, but you kept asking me for drinks." He laughed and pulled a strand of hair from my face. "Before long, you were acting like your normal self and weren't depressed anymore. I admitted what I'd done with the blood and to my surprise, you were so grateful. You couldn't believe that I'd gone to all that trouble for you. You started looking at me differently after that, and I started to feel things for you that I couldn't deny."
"We both tried to deny our feelings, right?"
He nodded. "I had only sought you out because I wanted to bring peace between our two species. I hadn't intended to fall in love with you. In fact, I hadn't wanted to fall in love with anyone. I wanted to focus on leading my pack without any distraction."
"So, what happened with your pack? I mean, with Wes talking to Francine and you falling in love with me, it seems like that would change things."
"Oh, it has. Wes left the pack and moved out of town to a different pack. I'm pretty sure that they're still working with Francine. You and I have been working with my pack to find ways to bring peace and to avoid the war that Wes and Francine want so badly. But no one in the pack ever suspected that we were a couple."
Part of me wanted to know if Cliff was working with Francine or not, but I pushed that thought aside. He wasn't here with me, again, so I wasn't going to even give him a thought. The last memory that I held of him was his being furious at me. He'd been far angrier than I'd ever seen him get before. I hoped that I hadn't signed his death warrant, but I wasn't going to worry about it because my new motto was going to be to focus on what was in front of me.
I looked in front of me to see a very handsome man who was clearly head over heels in love with me. I decided to focus on him instead. "What are our plans for the fall? We're going away to that new college. Are we planning on still seeing each other?" I asked.
He grinned. "Of course. You've got a dorm room, but I'm renting an apartment big enough for two."
I giggled. "Why am I not surprised?"
"The whole thing was your idea," he said, laughing.
"You just went along with it? Getting a Master's is no small thing. Did you have to go through a rigorous testing process to get in?"
"It wasn't much more than you went through. You're not the only smart one you know," he said, still grinning.
"I didn't think that. It's a lot of work just to be close to someone."
"You convinced me that a Master's would help my career. You were so insistent. I couldn't deny what you were saying. Besides, being close to you is a definite bonus. Being students together, instead of teacher and student, sounded like a refreshing change of pace."
"I hope I wasn't too insistent. I don't want to make anyone go down a career path that they don't want."
"You were insistent in a good way. Though I knew you had ulterior motives, you also had good points about how I would be better off with the degree. Wouldn't you rather hear more about how we fell in love?"
"Yes. Maybe it will help bring back some memories."
"I hope so. This memory lapse is different from the others, so it's very possible."
"How many have I had? My parents made it sound like I haven't had all that many."
"You've had more than you've told them about. There have been several that you only told me about because you remembered enough about your life here that you could pull it off. It's only when you forget even returning that you end up telling them."
I narrowed my eyes in frustration. "Why do I have all of these memory issues? I'm sure a vampire is behind it, but I don't understand why. What do they want me to forget?"
"I've been trying to help you figure that out. That was actually part of what brought us together. When you opened about what was going on, I was not only intrigued but I also wanted to help. We hadn't had much of a chance to get to know each other before your trip to Europe, but you didn't want to talk to anyone else because I was the only one to whom you could talk with about the vampires."
"Apparently I told my parents and they threatened to send me to a mental hospital. My sister warned me not to bring up vampires with them."
"It's been so hard on you each time you discover that they're all gone. This time seems different. I hope that's a good sign."
"How is it different?"
"You haven't been getting upset about it. You've been handling everything really well."
"You mean I'm not hiding in my bed for days on end, right?"
He smiled. "That's it."
"I don't know if I'm sick of going through this—I can't remember—but I'm done wallowing in misery. Where are the vampires? Not here! But I am and I'm going to make the best of the situation. I'm a vampire, so time is on my side. Even if they leave me here for twenty years, what does it matter? I'll still have countless centuries to deal with them. Did I ever start to come up with any theories about these memory issues?"
"We've come up with many different ideas, but it's anyone's guess if they hold any truth or not."
"Something must've happened in those months between my last memory in the castle and when I was brought back here. There's about a nine month gap there and then another nine month gap since I've been here. I can't remember any of it." I sighed.
We were quiet as we watched the lake. Ducks bounced up and down on the little waves, hawks swooped down to look for fish, squirrels ran to the water's edge, and a couple of kids were trying to skip rocks.
"The other times when I've forgotten things, what did I remember?"
"Usually, you'd remember that we were together," he said, smiling. "You'd forget about the other vampires being gone, but you've never once remembered what happened those nine months at the castle." His face became serious. "That's the one constant."
"How often has this happened?" I asked, desperate to know.
"I haven't counted, but it's a fairly regular occurrence. I actually expect it every so often."
"For real? That's so frustra
ting! I thought that my mind was supposed to be untouchable."
"That's what everyone thought, but the return of the Fyrsturae has changed a lot of things."
"Like what? What do you know?"
"No more than you do. You've told me everything that I know."
"I don't know much. I saw some of what Alrekur is able to do, and he was able to use mind control on me. He told me not to tell anyone about him hiding Tanner's body, and I couldn't."
"Right. He's much more powerful than any other vampire. But you're one of the group, so you should be able to do a lot more than any other regular vampire, royal or not. I'm sure that's at least part of the reason that you're back here with memory issues. If you're stuck dealing with this, you won't be able to discover what you're capable of."
"Did I tell you if I knew about them finding any of the other Fyrsturae?"
"No. Like I said, you've never remembered beyond the day that your parents made that announcement to all of the leaders."
"For all I know, they've got me in hiding with a limited memory until they find all nine. Did I put up a fuss, not wanting them to bring all of the Fyrsturae back? Why would they do this to me and not just stick me in the grave and bring me back to life after the ninth one is awakened? Whatever they're doing, they must have something on Cliff, Brooke and Clara to keep them away from me. Any of those guys could find me. They all know where my human family lives. Yet, it sounds like they've all left me here on my own for the past nine months. They've got to have someone watching me though. Wouldn't you think? I could just up and move away if I wanted to. There would be nothing to stop me."
He made an expression that I couldn't decipher.
"We've had this same conversation many times before, haven't we?" I asked.
He nodded yes.
"Sorry. You're probably sick of going over these details over and over."
He smiled. "I wouldn't say that I'm sick of it. I know that you need to work through it all…again. I keep hoping that one of these days, something will click and you'll find the answer. I've seen you go through all of this information and experience every emotion possible. You've gotten blindingly angry, depressed, frustrated, and everything in between. I'm here for you, no matter what you're feeling."
"Why?" I demanded. "Why go through all of this for me? It's got to frustrate the heck out of you. What do you get out of it?"
"I love you, that's why. Having someone to talk to is something that you need desperately. You'd go crazy if you didn't have someone to talk to about the vampires. I don't want to see you get sent to the state hospital."
I sighed. "Don't you ever feel like it's a waste of time? I mean, you have a pack to take care of and you could be running it with another member if you wanted. What good could possibly come of us being together?"
"I'm not thinking long term. All I know is that I'm happy when I'm with you. You're worth the risk. I'm well aware of the danger. Our species are mortal enemies, you want to find both of your old vampire boyfriends, and the world's most powerful vampire is supposed to be your destiny. I may very well lose you and end up heartbroken. In fact I probably will. But on the other hand, I may not. Because of your eternal lifespan, they may leave you here for the majority of mine." He smiled and I felt my heart soften.
"But the odds aren't even in our favor. Who even heard of a vampire and a werewolf together?"
"Any relationship has the risk of not working out, Alexis. You can't love without risk. Nobody's perfect and everyone is selfish. Life has no guarantees. You make me happy, and we need each other. It works for now. I don't need reassurance that it will still work ten years from now. If it doesn't work in six months, I'll deal with the heartache then. For now, I couldn't be happier."
I looked deep into his eyes. I could see only compassion and love; he truly felt the way that he claimed. He took one of my hands and held it gently against his chest. I closed my eyes as I breathed in the scent of love, knowing that I was literally in good hands.
Opening my eyes, I saw the skin around his eyes crinkle as he smiled. I looked back into his eyes, and as I focused and let myself relax, images began flooding my mind. I saw his classroom as I walked in, presumably after I had returned from the castle, because the room was set up differently. His face lit up with surprise when he saw me, and he said that he was glad to have my help as a TA again. There was no romance in his eyes, just the relief to have my help. He told me that the TA who had replaced me the previous year had been more work than help.
Images continued, mostly set at school. I saw myself go downhill quickly. It appeared that I had started out with a good attitude when I returned to town, happy with life and enjoying the attention at school. Everything matched up with what Amanda had told me. Rumors flew about my nine month absence, but I had the proof of the bikini at the pool party and everyone quickly forgot. It was obvious that there was no way that I could have left to have a baby. I had also worn skimpy clothes as long as the weather allowed in order to keep people from talking about my mysterious absence.
My mood declined with the weather. When the gloomy, fall weather took over, I began to miss my vampire friends. Mr. Foley noticed the dramatic shift in my personality. He had that concerned, responsible adult look that I'd seen more than enough times. He could see me wasting away. He tried giving me donuts and other sweets, but I refused. I knew that he had been buying them just for me because he never ate them himself. I felt kind of bad about not eating them, but I knew there any of kids in his classes would take them.
Then one day, he offered me something to drink. For some reason, I accepted it and I could see a light go over his face. He began offering me a drink each day, and I usually accepted. On the second day and following, I noticed that he'd laced it with blood. I pretended that I didn't notice. But how could I not? My taste buds nearly danced with joy with the slight taste of blood. I began to feel slightly better.
Somewhere along the line, very subtly, I noticed my feelings toward him changing. We'd always gotten along and spoke easily with each other, but something had changed. I still missed Cliff and I didn't want to pull out of my depression, much less acknowledge the emerging feelings. I told myself that it was just because he was giving me blood.
I also ignored the way that he had started looking at me. He didn't act any differently. There was no way that anyone could accuse him of leading me on or trying to start a relationship. He was just a teacher trying to help out a student. Well, a hot, werewolf teacher helping out a depressed, abandoned vampire student. But who else knew that?
One day as I was grading papers, sipping my heavily laced hot chocolate, I couldn't deny my feelings anymore. I was unable to focus on the papers, as easy as they were to grade. I wanted nothing more than to shove my desk aside, run to his and throw myself into his lap. The desire was so strong that it actually took effort to refrain from doing it.
I tried to sneak a peek at him, but saw that he was already watching me.
"Are you okay?" he asked. "You aren't working."
I looked at him, eager to kiss him, trying to find the right words. I thought that he might return my feelings, but I didn't want to humiliate myself by saying something stupid. On the other hand, if I didn't say something, I might just find myself leaping into his embrace.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.
"You," I said, immediately regretting it.
A smile spread across his handsome face, and suddenly my regret left. "What were you thinking?"
I shrugged my shoulders and smiled shyly. What could I tell him? My feelings were so wrong. I was supposed to be in love with Cliff—wherever he was. Wherever any stupid vampire was. At that point, I'd been back with my human family for a few months and no vampire had even tried to reach out to me.
"If you ever want to talk with me, you can," he said. "We can even set up a time outside of school to talk if you'd feel more comfortable."
I continued to look at him, still at a loss for words. I n
eeded to find something to say before I scared him off. I nodded and admitted, "I'd like that."
He held my eye contact and I could feel that he wanted to say more too. "There's a coffee shop just outside of town if you'd like to meet there. You seem to like coffee."
I nodded and he wrote down the address.
"So, I'll be there writing lesson plans after school if you happen to show up," he said with a grin.
Smiling, I nodded, indicating that I'd be there. I wasn't used to feeling shy, but I also wasn't used to living life as a vampire on my own. That was the moment I decided if none of the vampires cared enough to find me, I didn't care about letting myself fall in love with a werewolf.
That afternoon, I walked into the coffee shop just as shy and nervous as I had been in the classroom. I saw Mr. Foley sitting in a booth in the back of the darkened room. He had two cups of coffee. When he saw me, he held up one and smiled. I smiled back and sat down with him.
"I hope you don't mind that I ordered for you," he said, as I settled in. "I know that the cold weather doesn't affect you, but I thought you might like a nice, warm drink."
"That sounds good," I said, taking the cup and scooting closer to him. I took a sip and found that it was heavily laced with blood. "Mmmm. You didn't try to hide the blood this time. Where have you been getting it?" I felt both my body and my emotions warming up as the blood made its way through me.
He smiled sweetly. "I hated seeing you so miserable. You're such a good person. It killed me to see you wasting away. I have connections at the blood bank, so I used them, hoping that it would help you. I'm really glad that it did. Confidence suits you much better than depression."
I smiled. "But couldn't you get in trouble for meeting me here? Or even giving me drinks at school?"
Mr. Foley scooted closer and there was only about an inch of air between us. "I could get into trouble for a lot of things. Why are you always so concerned with my getting into trouble? That was the first thing you asked me at that party in the woods after we first met."
"You werewolves just like living life on the edge?"
The Transformed Box Set: Books 1, 2, 3, 3.5 Page 72
