Jesus, I've said more to you in this letter, than I've said to you in my whole life. But for all the things you did for me, this is the only thing I have to offer you. I'm a sorry sonofabitch and this letter will never be enough to take back all the pain I caused. But I'll always carry a piece of you...always. Meet you on the other side, bro.
As I sunk to the floor, reading and re-reading the letter over and over again, with tears streaming down my hot cheeks, reality punched me in the gut, and I felt like I was going to be sick.
******
Georgia
Why I decided to stick around today and help out Douche Canoe is beyond me. I had cancelled my plans to have lunch with Eve today in hopes of earning a little extra cash so that I could take her to a nice dinner on my next night off instead. Yeah right. I'd had four measly tables the whole afternoon, leaving me with nothing but lousy tips and aching feet. At this rate, I wouldn't be able to wear heels for a week. Which reminds me, I still have to work my regular shift tonight. Ugh. Thankfully, my last table had just cleared out and our evening waitress, Joni, had shown up a few minutes ago, rescuing my poor feet from further torture.
I planned to take myself, as well as my protesting feet, outside for a welcome reprieve, and to catch some fresh air. As I placed my hand on the door, it suddenly whooshed open, nearly causing me to fall head first into the parking lot. Catching my balance, I glanced up to find Hailey looking at me expectantly. "Jesus, Hailey, I almost fell on my ass," I said with annoyance. As she stood staring at me unsympathetically, I asked, "Finally come to your senses?"
With a heated glare, she shoved a piece of paper against my chest and barked out, "Did you know about this?"
After pausing to eye her speculatively, I grasped the paper and began to scan in, realizing it was a letter. As I read through it, my pulse accelerating with each sentence I pored over, my world suddenly began to fall at my feet, and I knew Hailey's world must have been crumbling along with mine.
Looking to her with pleading, watery eyes, I choked out, "It's not...we were only trying to protect you."
"We! Who else knows about this?" she demanded.
Lowering my head to the floor, I sheepishly answered, "Just Jim, Gail, and me."
"And Kellan," she stated emphatically. I simply nodded my assent, as she continued, "Wow! You people are a piece of work. You all lied to me! And what about the detectives? Whose bright idea was it to withhold information in a formal investigation?"
"It...it wasn't like that, Hailey," I implored her.
Ripping the letter from my grasp, she waved it wildly in the air as she admonished me, spewing, "I know exactly what it's like...it's right here in black and white! What about the witnesses? You can't possibly justify what you've done...all of you!"
As my eyes grew wide, I frantically grasped her by the shoulders, searching for anything to redeem myself. "Wait, Hailey, I can explain," I huffed out. Without giving her a split second to object to my argument, I quickly rambled, "Listen to me. The only thing the customers witnessed was what looked like any other bar brawl, being broken up by one of us. I was the only one within earshot of what actually went down. By the time Dunny and Jim reached them, Jordan had already been stabbed. With Masters' reputation coupled with no corroborating witnesses, and Grady having barely remembered the incident, much less the specifics, Masters' defense of Jordan starting the fight went down the tubes. The only thing they could pin on Grady was drunk and disorderly. They both deserved what they got, and I hope Masters rots in prison- I sure as hell wasn't about to jeopardize that asshole getting off on a technicality. Is that really what you would've wanted?"
As I breathed heavily from my rant, Hailey's expression deadened, as she coldly said, "I deserved to know the truth."
"Well now you know," I blurted out. "You must feel a whole lot better, now, huh?" I said in frustration.
"I feel betrayed," she gritted out before whipping around and swiftly exiting the building, as I stood daunted, feeling as if the walls were closing in around me.
Defeated, I ambled my way towards the end of the bar, and leaned limply against it, burying my face in my hands, as I scrubbed it with my palms.
Out of seemingly nowhere, Kellan's voice cut in to my thoughts, quickly pulling me out of my reverie.
"What's your problem? Your vibrator run out of batteries?"
Shooting him a scathing glare, I replied flatly, "It's Hailey. She knows."
"Knows what?" he questioned in confusion. As I stared at him knowingly, his voice rose as he asked, "How?"
"She found your letter...to Jordan." I sighed wearily.
"Goddamnit! Hold down the fort, will ya?" he shouted before breaking away from my side and quickly striding out the back door as the cold, hard metal slammed against its frame.
Calling after him, I yelled out, "I'll be here."
Turning around to find Joe staring after Kellan with his eyebrows raised, he asked, "Where's the fire?"
Sighing, I stated with resolve, "He's going to put it out."
Chapter Twelve
Kellan
I tore out of the parking lot, gripping my steering wheel tightly and driving like a madman towards Hailey's house. If I had any hope of righting this complete and utterly fucked up situation, my window of opportunity was closing with each passing minute. Waving off the inclination to question why or how she got her hands on the letter, I was solely focused on damage control. Jesus, what a clusterfuck this day has become.
My first day taking over Jimbo's, and what am I doing? Chasing after a woman. A woman who took a piece of me that can never be replaced, and here I am opening old wounds that I thought had scarred over years ago. This is a bad idea, and I know it. I have no idea what I'm about to walk into. Hailey might be curled up on the floor bawling her eyes out, and if that's the case, I know I'll feel compelled to comfort her. Or if I'm lucky enough not to get the door slammed in my face, I may have to dodge a few plates being thrown at my head. Either way, I feel like putting my fist through a wall out of frustration of the unknown. Memories invade my senses of the last time I'd done just that, and it had landed us in bed together, making love for the first time. Thoughts like this should be the farthest thing from my mind, but where Hailey's concerned, I just can't help myself
Reaching the front curb of Hailey's house, I brought my car to a screeching halt and slammed the car in Park, quickly exiting it, and rushing up her doorstep. As I stood in front of her door, I paused for a moment to collect my scattered thoughts and regulate my breathing. Regaining my composure, I thought better of pounding the door down, and hesitantly raised my hand to knock on it quietly a couple of times. But when she didn't answer after a few moments, my impatience started to get the better of me.
Rapping on the door a few more times with a bit more force, I soon heard the shuffling of feet coming from inside the house. Not having a clue what was about to happen once Hailey and I were face to face, my heart began to pound in my chest as doubt suddenly started to creep into my thoughts. Would she even give me a chance to explain? Had I ruined any chance of ever winning over her trust? Did I honestly want to?
Not giving me the chance to ponder the situation further, the door gently opened, and Hailey's dim expression heated to boiling in an instant. "How dare you come here? You're despicable," she seethed.
As she hurled the accusation at me, my natural tendency to fight fire with fire rose to the surface. I suddenly went on the offensive, admonishing, "I'm despicable? What about you?"
"What about me?" she replied in a clipped tone.
"You mind explaining to me how you got your hands on that letter?"
Opening her mouth to speak, she quickly clamped it shut again. Glancing from side to side, she began to bite her lip nervously. Jesus. I had been fantasizing about those pink lips since the day my mouth met hers just a few months ago. Unable to tear my eyes away from the glistening moisture her tongue had left behind, my aggression quickly began to fade as my hyper awarene
ss of the awkward tension in the room came into focus.
Her features softened as she whispered, "Why are you doing this to me?"
Perhaps the temptation to act on some sixth sense was justification enough for her to warrant the intrusion, or maybe she was just deflecting to avoid humiliation. In any case, my senses began to fail me as I inched slowly towards her, bringing myself to stand directly in front of her. Taking pity on her, I reached up to gently stroke her cheek. As she recoiled from me, I resisted the urge to let my temper rise, and bent my head to peer into her eyes, catching a glimpse of the array of emotions that were behind them. Seeing Hailey in this state had me nearly dropping to my knees.
Holding her gaze, and with quiet deliberation, I said, "I didn't come back to hurt you, Hailey. I'm not doing anything to you." Pausing, I breathed out, "But I want to...so damn much it hurts." There...it was out in the open. Mentally wincing at the words that had just flown from my lips, anxiousness rose inside of me, and I was already beginning to regret my hasty decision to take the first step...take a brick out of the wall I'd erected around my heart for most of my life. Yet, I felt like this was a do or die moment; I wasn't sure I'd get a second chance to get this right, nor was I confident enough to believe I'd have the nerve to try.
Her eyes widened, and without hesitation, I wrapped one arm around her waist, bringing our bodies flush against each other as I felt the heat radiate between us. Before she had time to protest, I placed my other hand behind her neck, bringing her face to within a fraction of an inch from my own.
Breathing softly against her lips, I whispered, "You're my heroin. I feel you in my veins, and I can't get enough of you."
Wrapping her hands around my biceps, she suddenly leaned into me, bringing our lips together as our tongues stroked each other's in a sweet familiar exploration. Her taste, her delicate floral scent, and the feelings she was eliciting from me were a heady combination.
As our kiss deepened, my hands, seemingly of their own accord, slid to stroke her arms, wandering to find her nipples hardened through her thin shirt and bra, finally coming to rest on her hips. The lazy synchronicity of our tongues mingling together had my body aching for her. Tightening my grasp on her hips, I pulled her against my straining erection, and hoisted her by the ass, as she wrapped her legs around my waist.
With purpose, I quickly strode down the hallway towards the guest bedroom, toeing the door open, and not bothering to shut it behind me. I abruptly tore my lips from hers, and spun her around, slamming her roughly against the wall, with no regard for her comfort in my heightened state of arousal. My only concern was my overwhelming desire for her, and my plans to bring pleasure to her body all night...over, and over, and over again.
******
Hailey
Kellan and I were suddenly caught up in a maddening vortex. No words were needed, and none were uttered. There was only feeling, want, and need. We'd been here before, just the two of us, locked in our own vault, where raw desire had taken precedence over reasoning. I was powerless to stop it, and even if I could, I wasn't about to. For the first time in months, I was feeling alive again, and the seemingly irreparable void inside me was being filled by my wanton need for Kellan. Every traumatic event that had led to this moment was quickly fading away with each touch, each taste of him.
As our lips reconnected, the fervency of our tongues dancing together had my body singing. As Kellan rocked his hips against my core, my desire for him pooled low in my belly. Feeling his hardness through his jeans, my body began to throb with a delirious need for him.
Propped against the wall, both of us panting heavily, we began fumbling to rid each other of the barriers between his naked skin and mine. Pushing his black suit coat from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, I began to swiftly and deliberately unbutton his crisp white dress shirt.
His new signature look, a hip combination of perfectly worn in, loose fitting jeans, un-tucked dress shirt informally unbuttoned at the top, and his body hugging suit jacket, all paired with impeccably shined Doc Martin loafers, had him dripping with sex appeal. But I knew firsthand what I had to look forward to underneath his suave, polished attire. There was a sumptuous gift waiting for me behind those layers, and I was doing my damnedest to unwrap it as quickly as I could.
With our bodies pressed together, hindering our ability to shed our clothing, Kellan stepped back, letting my feet fall to the floor. Ceasing my efforts to clumsily unbutton his shirt, he swiftly pulled it over his head and tossed it across the room.
As I gawked unabashedly at his torso, I realized his wardrobe wasn't the only change he had acquired. His once lean build, graced with taut, sinewy muscle, was now replaced with a bit of added bulk beneath a sun kissed exterior, most likely obtained by good genes, as opposed to deliberate effort.
I mentally rolled my eyes at the thought, suddenly becoming self-conscious as I realized the events of the past few years had taken a bit of a toll on my body. Working more hours at the bar helped to offset my sedentary time in class, but left little to no time to keep up with my regular workout routine, and my formerly toned and tightened derriere was beginning to pay the price. I’d put on a few pounds, and noticed I had a bit of a muffin top thing going on. I frowned at the thought of having to diet. I’ve always had a hearty appetite, and had never had to control my eating habits in the past. However thinking of the many times I've heard that men like their women with a little meat on their bones, my self doubt began to ebb.
Suddenly snapping me out of my wanderlust, Kellan asked in a mocking tone, "Enjoying the view?" Peering up to him, I was confronted by the sly smile creasing his face, and a wicked gleam in his eyes. A shy smile formed on my lips at the thought of his familiar candor.
I'd memorized his beautifully handsome features from the moment we'd encountered each other in what seemed like a lifetime ago. His strong, chiseled jaw was outlined by a hint of stubble. From his perfectly straight nose, and jet-black hair, to every stroke of ink that adorned his flesh, Kellan was seared into my mind.
With his brooding dark eyes, outlined by exquisitely long and lush lashes, framed by stunning eyebrows, his naturally flawless look would have almost any woman green with envy. But his piercing stare exuded undeniable power, easily leveling even the worthiest of opponents, and causing women to trip all over themselves like giddy teenagers with a simple wink.
His familiar scent, a mixture of clean body wash infused with the smell of fresh pine, and his unique musky aroma, invaded my senses, reminding of me of the invigorating smells of the forests I'd hiked through. If I could bathe in his scent, I may never leave the shower.
With our eyes fixated on one another's, his sly smirk remained as his hands traveled to undo his belt buckle. I quickly stilled his hands with my own. He arched an inquisitive brow as I whispered, "Let me."
Chapter Thirteen
Kellan
The sound of Hailey sliding my zipper down had my cool, calm and collected facade melting off of me in waves. As she lowered herself to kneel directly in front of me, my mind began to stagger, seriously questioning if this was all a dream. I'd envisioned taking her in every way imaginable so many times in the last few years; I was expecting my alarm to go off on my bedside table at any moment, waking me up to yet another day of cold loneliness. Like numerous mornings since I'd left, I'd wake up to the brutal reality slapping me in the face instead of the silky soft body I had been reveling in just moments before in my sleep.
Seeing her peeking up at me with a mischievous gleam in her eyes, a sheen of sweat began to form on my forehead. My dick was throbbing with need for her, and when she innocently licked her lips as she freed my straining cock from my jeans, I nearly came in an instant. The intent in her eyes had me feeling like I was fourteen again, ready to come in my pants after a ten-minute make-out session.
As she grasped my shaft with her warm, delicate hand, wrapping her fingers around it and smoothing my pre-cum over the head with her thumb, my head ti
pped back and my eyelids closed, as I gave in to her sensual touch. A low moan rumbled from my chest as I felt her warm mouth descend on my aching cock. I felt immobile as her tongue swirled around the head while she took her time pumping her hand, applying just the right amount of pressure with her grip.
Though my head felt too heavy to lift, and my eyes too lost in my own mind, I needed to see her taking me into her mouth. My vision hazy with lust, I took in the superb sight of Hailey bobbing her head up and down as my dick slid in and out of her mouth. Languidly licking and sucking, her saliva provided the perfect amount of lubricant for her to pump me with her free hand while she cupped my balls with the other, gently stroking them. Fuck. I felt like my body was floating as she quickened her movements. I was guessing I had about ten seconds left before I lost my load, if she kept this up.
As much as I wanted to watch myself pour into her as she licked up every last drop of my cum, I wanted to be inside of her so much more. Unable to pull myself from the sweet sensations her mouth was delivering to me, I fisted her hair in my hand, using it to slow her pace a bit, as I took a moment to regain control over my impending orgasm. It was proving futile as I stroked her face with my other hand, marveling at the sight of her cheeks as they hollowed with each pass of her lips over the head of my cock.
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